No More Gazing Across The Wasted Years

[Connor Harrison]

This was where the window dressing began for Connor, except with Kyra he didn’t mind so much. He’d taken less than a handful of students in his time; sure he’d help anyone, but actually taking them under his wing until they were ready was a different matter.

Considering the one Padawan lost her eyes to the Sith, one fell to the Dark Side and one vanished from Voss without a trace, he was hesitant to say the least. It would be as much a gamble for Connor as it would be for Kyra.

”Imagine you come to Voss, or a group of us go on an expedition. Imagine a group of pirates who took you come looking for new victims, innocent victims to make their own. I could stand against them, defend those who couldn’t and repel the pirates. What would you do. Would you want to take cover and hide, hoping they don’t hurt you, or would you want to stand beside me and others to fight for justice – to right the wrongs people want to make out there.”

He tried to catch her eye.

”I would teach you about the Force, and what it is. How to understand it. To listen to it and to control it. You would learn to fight, to heal and to think like the good person you are inside and make a difference to others like I know you can.”

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

She knew what he was doing. She knew he was bating her... But she didn't mind. Because what he said was true. She could help out as a mechanic, fix what needed fixing, make things, but when it came down to it there had to be more to it than that. She couldn't rely on them for protection, she had to be part of that shield, a chain in their armour. Did that mean she couldn't still do her thing? Not at all, she could still be the fixer. She could still be Kyra.

It was a lot to think about. She sat down on the edge of the water and stared out over the view. "Does this mean we have to leave Sarkany so soon?" She really didn't want to, this place already felt so inviting. She didn't want to leave just yet.

Leaning her head in one of her hands she let out a very quiet sigh. "How do I know things won't go wrong again? I don't want to be the reason someone gets hurt, Connor. And I don't want to lose who I am by doing this. I can still help out the way we planned, right? Fixing things? Even if I do say yes..."

If. It was still an if.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor sat beside her, taking a moment to look out and appreciate the moon. For a moment it felt like it was theirs. A few wild birds called overhead and a chirp from the trees behind them made him look for a second.

”Listen, if things go wrong, we work together to make them right. You’ve already survived so much. You’re a natural survivor – time to use that survival out in the real world away from Jakku.”

He took his hand and held hers in it, a reassuring squeeze.

”Nobody is a reason anyone gets hurt, so don’t think like that. I mean, as sentient beings we hurt at times but we get around it and get better. And of course you could still be what you are – do you know how much technology and mechanical bits are out there? Always needing updating, testing, fixing, modifying…heck, not everyone can do that. You know so much than most people in that aspect.”

He tried to catch her eye.

”You’d be someone who could fight when they had to, and fix everything after.” That was worth a smile. ”And no, there’s no rush in leaving here unless I get an emergency signal that Voss is being invaded or the galaxy is being destroyed. But I doubt that will happen. Ok? Talk to me. Don’t be afraid. And don’t think I’m pushing you into anything, I’m not. I just want…better things for you.”

In reality, he was wanting to look after her and make her something great that he knew she could be.

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

She felt him settle down beside her, reassuring her with both words and touch. Her eyes closed and for a moment everything else faded away. His hand, his voice, that was it. She had to get past her earlier experiences with the Force. She had to ignore the nagging doubts, the what ifs. Was it not she who had told Connor to stop living his life that way?

Kyra had to make a stand, she had to make a choice and remain by it. Was she going to run from her destiny, from her true potential, or would she stand and face it?

"Don't you dare leave me with this burden, Connor Harrison."

Her eyes opened, gaze falling upon his. There was a slight feeling of trepidation coursing through her veins, she was on the very edge now. Did she take a leap or faith, or step back into her comfort zone?

"If I say yes, you can't just throw me into the water and leave me there in hopes that I can swim. Okay?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

It was a big choice; a life changing choice. Once started, it would change the future of those who walked on the path that Kyra was looking at doing. Connor knew she was fearful, and he couldn’t blame her. She wanted reassurance, and he could say a thousand words to try but actions spoke louder.

He nodded slowly.

”Wait here.”

With that, he hopped off the stones, over the stream coursing along the earth and back to his ship behind them, traversing the small pebbles and sticks carefully. He knew where to go to get what he wanted; his quarters, used as a place on the larger craft to study and reflect and relax. There, he pulled a box from the wardrobe where his clothes were and opened it, taking a wrapped item from it. Closing the box, and the wardrobe, and the door, he finally walked back out.

”I’ve had this for 10 years, more or less, since I crafted it.”

He walked in no hurry to Kyra.

”It’s been with me from one end of the galaxy to the other, and even into another realm. It’s saved my life numerous times, and it’s taken many as well.”

He handed the cloth over to the bemused girl.

”It’s yours now, if you want it.”

Inside the cloth would be his old lightsaber hilt, recovered from Dromund Kaas after initially thought lost.

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

He chose not to give her an answer, or any form of promise, instead he had her wait there by the brook while he ventured off to his ship. Kyra could not help but feel a little apprehensive. What was stopping him from flying away and leaving her here? What was stopping him from returning to Voss which was just a few systems over...

But she trusted him. She had to.

Kyne lazily made his way over to her in the minutes the passed, settling his head in her lap and enjoying a good fuss behind the ear. Her gaze lifted to the sky as she sat there with her pup. No engine sounds broke the tranquility.

Then came the sound of his voice, and boots against the rocky ground. Turning her head she watched as he slowly approached, though for now she didn't entirely comprehend what he was referring to.

Shifting in place so that her body faced him, Kyne seeming a little confused by the movements, Kyra curiously took the cloth from him and felt something of considerable weight within.

Okay, so it wasn't the heaviest thing she'd ever lifted, but it wasn't exactly the lightest either.

Slowly pulling back the cloth she unwrapped the object and for a moment simply stared. Then confusion took ahold of her expression as she turned the item over in her hand. Finally recognition. It had been a long time since she had seen a lightsaber hilt up close.

She knew how important lightsabers were to their creator. In fact she was rather amazed that he trusted her with it at all.

But the fact he was going to give it to her, if she wanted to walk this path, spoke volumes. More than words ever could've.

"You're serious?"

Up until that moment she hadn't been sure. There had been doubt nagging at her, for all she knew he wasn't serious, but now... Now there was no doubt in her mind.

"I don't know what to say..."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor nodded slowly.

”You don’t have to say anything, words aren’t always needed.”

He looked at her, then the saber, remembering in a heartbeat everything it had faced with him.

”I’ve crafted a small piece of the future with that hilt, so now maybe you can do the same. It certainly helped me over the years and it may help you.”

He pointed to it, running his finger along the shaft and tapping the emitter.

”I mean you can make this your own; modify it, make it comfortable for you as it will be nice for you to have a little project, and I know you love to tinker with things. It needs a new crystal as the old one was cracked and the blade was a little, ah, let’s say wild, but apart from that it’s fine.”

With a smile, Connor folded his arms.

”Sleep on it, and get used to it, and it can be your first step forward if you decide to take it. I’m not going to pressure you, either way. Ok?”

Then, he chuckled. ”I think you’d suit a working lightsaber; look pretty tough wielding one I imagine.”

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

"I wouldn't mess with it" she immediately retorted.

While the junker within her loved the idea of a new project to tinker with and experiment on, she knew better than to potentially ruin such a sacred object.

It wasn't that she held any reverence toward lightsabers in particular, but the fact that it had belonged to him. That in its present state it had seen him through battles, through training, kept him alive over the years... And who was she to meddle with such?

It was in that moment that she knew her answer.

"I don't need to think about it" she confessed, despite the inner turmoil she was beginning to experience, her trepidation at allowing this turn of events. It would certainly make for a different path, she only hoped no one expected her to change too much.

"I'll learn, if you'll teach."

She didn't look at him when she said this, instead her eyes were curiously falling over the hilt - over components both familiar and foreign. There was a faraway look in her eye though, as if it wasn't the saber which was on her mind.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Peering over her shoulder, seeing her inspect the hilt, Connor chewed his lip. Train her.

Train her? Kyra Sol?

It was one thing training a stranger, but training someone he knew? A whole host of situations could arise from this. Some complicated, some wonderful.

What if he lost her to the Dark as he did Chastity? What if he struggled more, like Dagos? Or suffered a fate worse than death at the hands of the Sith, like Syala? Or simply hide away from it all, like Setzi?

Hands on hips, he lolled his head back. The second he had passed the saber to her, he was investing faith and trust in the girl and showing her a path forward. It was his duty as a Jedi, a protector and defender of worlds, to help her. It was also his duty as a friend.

”I’ll teach you, and make you someone you can look at in the mirror and be proud of.”

He hoped he wouldn’t live to regret it, in more ways than one.

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

She could have no idea what was going on in that head of his. Just what he was thinking about, the losses he'd faced, the failures he thought were on his shoulders. Instead she saw a man staring off into the void for a moment or two, and was more than happy to let him have his thoughts.

Wrapping the hilt back up in the cloth it had been brought to her in, Kyra turned and peered between their ships, and then past them to the tall trees, and further still to mountains higher than any she had ever seen before.

It was almost as if she could lose herself here, among the vastness of it all. When you were somewhere so busy with sentient life, like Nar Shaddaa, there was little time to give a damn about anyone save yourself. Your belongings which could be snatched from you at any moment. Your life which could be taken if you go down the wrong side street. Even Jakku, for the most part, had felt that way... Though not because of danger, simply because of emptiness.

But here it just felt right.

Her head turned to the sound of his voice, and a very small smile broke its way upon her lips. She didn't say anything, instead she stepped over to him and took his hand to give it a comforting squeeze. Deep down she knew it wasn't an easy decision for either of them.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Returning the squeeze, Connor smiled, nodded and broke away to get his boots back on. Strong leather and tight straps kept them secure as he pulled them on, ready for the walk he had in mind.

”Now,” he said as the last boot came on, ”none of the Master talk, ok? I’m not your Master. I’m your Connor, ok? Same old. Just listen to me and ask questions and trust me.”

He jumped up and indicated with his chin beyond where they were stood.

”Let’s take a walk and see what we can find. No point standing around here all day. Come.”

Connor held his elbow out for her to take and walk with him down the outcropping where they were, almost following the stream down to the ground.

”All I want to do, basically, is let you find your own limit. To trust yourself, to understand who you are and to control that ability inside you. I’ll push you to breaking point, but I promise it will work. I won’t protect your from yourself, because finding yourself is the only way you will learn.”

He smiled as they walked.

”We will get your combat skill up, your Force control and telekinesis so you at least will be stronger than you are now. The basics. And if you want to ask me anything or tell me anything, you can. Ok? Anything.”

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

She watched as he moved to sort out his boots, and for a brief second her heart sank with the belief that they were already leaving the world. Knowing better than to jump to conclusions by this point however she calmly watched and waited, calling Kyne to her side with a very slight whistle... After all, they were definitely about to go somewhere.

"Wouldn't catch me calling you Master anyway" she joked, with a rather bold grin, as her fingers teased the fur on the back of her hound's neck. "But I understand what you're saying, Connor... Thank you."

Ah, so they were staying on world.

Without much in the way of hesitation both Kyra and Kyne followed in the direction that Connor had set them in, her arm taking the offered elbow as she reached where he was stood. So things wouldn't be changing too drastically, just some new aspects to their relationship. Would this strengthen the pair, or plant a wedge between them? She hoped for the former.

It was a lot to take in, all this talk of breaking her, finding her, combat, and Force... Enough to make her head swim. But she did her best to remain afloat and take it all in her stride, to work it over in her head.

She wasn't really much of a fighter. Sure, she could hold her own at a distance provided she had a blaster in her hand but other than that... She was just Kyra, the scavenger used to worming her way in and out of situations... Not particularly charismatic, definitely not strong (though she had the strength to lift quite a lot of heavy materials when needed), she was simply Kyra...

"Okay" she muttered in response, her eyes soaking in the landscape as they made their way down the mountain via the stream. Part of her wanted to walk in the water itself, it looked so crisp and fresh, but this seemed like one of those serious moments. "Will they accept someone like me, though, Con'?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He frowned, a little bemused.

”Con? Sounds a rather negative name really. See what I did, con? Negative?” He smiled to himself. ”All I’ve had is Connor. Con. I’ll get used to that.”

With her question, the answer was very easy.

”Of course they will accept you. Who are they to judge you? I’ve known you for years and I vouch for you so if they’ve got a problem they come to me. Which they won’t have. A problem, I mean. Our ranks seem to have dark figures bled into them, so someone as pure and selfless as you won’t turn any heads in a bad way.”

The woodland they were on the outskirts of didn’t look very imposing at all, and sunlight still beamed through the thin trunks as the stream from behind still babbled through. It was his idea to follow the natural spring wherever it took them, and there was no sign of dangerous terrain or civilisation.

”I always say if I can still remain in the Silvers, with my track record, then someone like you will thrive there. Your skills with tools and scrap, and mechanical knowledge, would be very valuable.”

Connor walked on a moment more.

”What would you like to discover the most about yourself? What would be the one thing you’d like to find inside you?”

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

She followed him along the edge of the stream, with Kyne at their side, as the world around them began to open up. It was all a first experience for the girl who had known dust and junk for the entirety of her existence, even the pureness of the water mesmerized her, and she found herself staring at it as it flowed downstream.

How did it remain so clear despite the riverbed being made up of rocks and dirt?

Maybe she'd ask him about it later.

"I'm sure there are lots of mechanics in the Sanctum" she said, skeptically, as he brokered that part of the conversation. Without any sort of warning Kyra sat down on the dry edge of the river and began to remove her boots and socks. She didn't care how silly it might have looked. It didn't take her long, she'd gotten rather good at boot removal after all, and in no time at all she was walking through the stream with her trousers rolled up.

The sand of the riverbed made her toes curl, but it was actually a pleasant sensation. Not coarse at all!

Kyne, who had worn himself out quite considerably, lazily lolled around on the grass, moving only when they got too far ahead. Poor pup hadn't been so excited in a long time!

"I'm not sure, Con'" she began, emphasizing the new name she'd given him, "I guess I just... It would be nice to believe, I suppose." It had been a long time since she'd had anything to believe in, since she'd found any true wonder in the Galaxy. Maybe being around Forcies would help her see more of the Galaxy, view it in a different light.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor nodded as she spoke, and he looked around at their idyllic surroundings. He glanced down at the pup and walked over and gave him a pat, before joining her by the river bed and squatting down, trailing his fingers in the surface of the water.

”I know there is a new unit in the Silvers coming to fruition soon, overseen by a very technically minded Master called Matsu Ike. You’d fit in there should you ever decided to stick with us. Engineers and technicians working with the Force to create new gear, new starships. Upgrades to ships and developing new tech.”

He started flicking water with his fingers.

”I think, anyway. Can’t be 100 percent sure but I’m pretty sure it’s coming to light. You’d be good there. Build your confidence, build your faith in people. Build Kyra back.”

Connor looked up and drew his wet finger down the side of her face playfully.

”Look, I’ve known you the longest, bar my Grandmaster, since I came to the wider galaxy. However long it takes you, wherever it takes you, I’ll be here, ok? I promise. I won’t lie to you. I care for you too much.”

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

She scratched along her jaw and had to resist the urge to bite her lip as he spoke about this new taskforce. Somewhere within her the Force still frightened her, and Force Users remained this unwanted enigma... For the most part.

They were selfish, looking out for their own gains while pandering to the greater Galaxy, promising to protect them when in truth they did more harm than good. There was a reason war and genocide didn't reach some of the more out of reach worlds.

But she had made her promise. Now she had to at least try, for him, for her. So instead of cringing or saying something she might regret, Kyra instead gave a nod of her head. "We shall see, though I don't work with people I don't know."

She shrugged, before turning her head lightly to playfully scowl as she felt the cold trail of water down her cheek.

"Hey!" She laughed though, shaking her head and kicking up some of the water so it splashed at his legs.

Then they turned serious. Another nod from Kyra. "I appreciate that, and I won't abandon you this time. I don't have some Space Witch hanging over me like some sightless phantom anymore."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor grinned and sat back, squinting into the light.

"I know you won’t. You never really did abandon me. Life just took us in differnet directions. It happens. Force knows it’s happened to me more times than I can count, taking me from one place to another without thinking and then BOOM my path is diverted for months and years."

He blew out a long breath.

"You do know now that we are back in touch, if you ever have trouble with said Space Witch, or anyone or anything else, you have to call me so I can protect you, you DO know that’s a rule now. Nothing and nobody is going to hurt you or push you away again. That’s my condition."

He lolled his head to the side, still squinting, and threw her a smile.

"I’m quite good at protecting others, just not myself."

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

Kai sighed.

"Feels like I did. I left without so much as a word, and that was wrong of me. Forgive me?"

She watched Kyne for a moment, before her gaze was directed skyward toward a flock of birds who soared high above. Their shrill cries made her wince with uncertainty, just what exactly were they supposed to be? Were they hostile? Her fingers dipped down toward her blaster, before she realized that Connor hadn't moved. Not hostile then?

"I uh... I don't need protecting, Con'."

Kyra legitimately pouted when she said that, fingers retracting from the weapon until her arms folded at her chest stubbornly.

"I've lasted this long without, haven't I? And who said anything about rules? Psht, you know they're made to be broken!"

She had promised to try though. To try and learn. He'd even given her his old lightsaber... That meant there had to be trust between them. It meant she couldn't simply rely on just herself anymore.

Kai looked away with a soft sigh. She wouldn't give in to his demands just yet...

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

His facial expression didn’t move as Kyra pouted, fingered her blaster or looked away. He knew she’d do something akin to that when he made his position clear. About to speak, he thought better of it and looked away back to the horizon, and glanced to the birds flying away from.

There was no danger as far as he could tell bar the inhabitants of the jungle around them; and that was both safe and dangerous in itself. Nature was both beauty and the beast, depending how you looked at it. Kyra obviously had been self-taught to see a beast in most things.

He looked back to her after a moment.

"Look, you gotta let this façade go a little about being tough and strong and independent. I’m not trying to take it away, but nobody can survive alone, not I this galaxy, and you’ve not seen that much of it to know better, have you."

As soon as he said it, he winced internally, knowing full well she could take that statement one of two ways – and he believed she would take it the wrong way. His fingers dug into the dirt a little, preparing to face her snappy backlash about “looking after herself” and “travelling form one side of the galaxy to another”.

[member="Kyra Sol"]

 

[Lief]

Kyra felt her jaw clench with indignation when he spoke down to her.

She hated that, absolutely hated it. What did he know about her? About what she'd seen, what she'd done? The places she'd visited, the things she'd endured...

She didn't respond right away though.

Something within her eased up, and instead of some snappy reproach she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. He was right, why was he always right?

"Be that as it may" she began, her voice quiet, "I'm not going to inconvenience you every time I run into trouble."

She kicked up some water, before beginning to walk on again. No longer felt like standing around to enjoy the view. Kyne was quick to follow, at her heel as ever.

[member="Connor Harrison"]