Private New Minions

[Stormageddon]

Nar Shaddaa was not the kind of place one wanted to visit. Not unless you were a thug, gangster, or crime lord. Or in this case, the dark prince of the underworld. Least that's what this little scrap droid was calling himself. The rusted yellow SP unit had been installed with a combat matrix some years ago but was deactivated. After the Force knows how long, the droid was activated and all of its processors were malfunctioning. Now, not only did this droid not accept being a cleaning bot, it believed it was some all powerful sorcerer who would take over the galaxy.

So that's what he was doing on Nar Shaddaa. First he needed an entourage. Stormageddon, as he went by, could not very well make a crime family without some minions to follow his beck and call. And what better place to cultivate his needs than the gangster planet? The tiny droid rolled around on its single wheel zipping through the crowd as it pleased. It wasn't fast per se, but it did have a good advantage being how small he was. He could navigate around people fairly easily. Not that the back streets of Nar Shaddaa were really all that crowded.

Stormageddon would turn a corner and stop for a moment while its eye port took in the sight of some rundown building. His eye scanned the exterior for any signs of life; there were none. "This will do perfectly!" the droid said aloud.

Determining that this location would be his new base, he rolled his way over to the entrance and went inside. His scanners looked around the broken down home and all of its imperfections. "Home sweet home," he said again.

 

[Cato Harth]

Stormageddon​

Nar Shaddaa was an objectively cruddy planet if you asked Cato. The name was synonymous with rampant crime. Which unfortunately was why he was here. Being a Jedi, Cato had his fair share of duties to helping keep the peace throughout the galaxy, and especially in Silver space, as Nar Shaddaa has relatively recently found itself in. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that Jedi had to be called in from time to time, but it didn’t make him any less unenthusiastic whenever he was sent on assignment. Attrition was the name of the game on the Smuggler’s Moon, and it didn’t have any signs of wearing down soon.

Cato had been tasked with dismantling a small-time spice ring hanging out in the nearby slums. Nothing big, which is why he was here alone. But tracking it had been a mission all of its own. After receiving a tip from a local urchin, who admittedly, is probably not the most reliable of sources, Cato was pointed in the direction of an old condemned building. Seemed quiet, but the gangsters had proven they were good at hiding their trail already. Maybe that kid was right.

“Knock knock.” Cato quipped, before immediately kicking the door down, finding an empty floor. Well, other than the droid that was now standing in front of him, “Oh.”

 

[Stormageddon]

A sudden knock and a thud was heard as the door behind Stormageddon was kicked down. Stormageddon would roll around and investigate, his eye port scanning the doorway for whomever had just entered. There was a brief moment of silence as the two took one another in. His scanners went off, explaining to the droid that he was standing in front of a human. Minimal threat. Humans were so weak and fragile.

The two panels on the sides of the robot would open up and arm joints with clamps would appear. For a second it might have looked like he was drawing a gun, but the Jedi would find that he was weaponless. Instead, he raised his arms as if he was excited about something.

"Minion! You came!" The droid shouted loudly at him in his annoying little robotic voice. "I've only been waiting for who knows how long but you showed up anyways! Are you ready to get to work?"

The droid would lower its arms and then wheel itself over to you. It barely reached up to his belt. It had to lean back on its wheel to look all the way up at the Jedi. "Wow you are tall. What are they feeding you?"

Cato Harth

 

[Cato Harth]

Stormageddon
​

Cato waved away the cloud of dust kicked up from the fallen door, barely taking note of the grating voice at first, “...What?”

The droid wheeled up to his lanky frame and Cato stared back with a raised brow, “Turns out the whole ‘eat your vegetables’ thing was true.” He deadpanned, patting the top of the droid’s chassis as he did. “Look, you seen anybody suspicious around here? Smelled anything… spicy? You can’t smell can you?”

Cato strolled further into the main room, glancing around for any signs of his search, evidently not giving the droid his undivided attention and somewhat dismissing it as a non-issue. “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

 

[Stormageddon]

The robot would reply admittingly "I don't eat vegetables. They clog up my fuel line.

After petting him on the head, the stranger would walk into the room after asking if there were any suspicious people around. Stormageddon rolled back around and followed after him. His eye looked up and down again and then he would make a gesture with his arms like he was pondering.

"Suspicious people? No such luck, minion. I'm the only one here. Though I didn't check the upstairs. I can't do stairs. A defect in my programming doesn't allow me to ascend them."

Rolling away from the Jedi, Stormageddon would turn on a flood light from his main eye and trot through the darkness until it lit up a tall staircase. "Here you are, minion. You'll have to carry me if you want to have my company. I'll protect you with my all magical powers of wonder.

Magic powers? What was this droid going on about? Did he have an actual weapon with him. Or was he somehow a Force sensitive? It wasn't the first unheard of droid to have gained sentience. But those were typically humanoid at first and had been transformed into a robot. The droid didn't look like it had any human components. It supposedly could have a brain locked away inside.

Cato Harth

 

[Cato Harth]

“Maybe try a blender?” The fact that this droid was even entertaining the discussion of eating food was amusing to Cato. The comment about defective programming prompted the knight to look down at the wheel it used for a locomotion. “Right…”

He followed the droid to the staircase, opting to lift the robotic form up with the Force and levitate it up the ascending stairs alongside him. Much easier than actually carrying the thing. The magical powers line actually got the slightest chuckle out of Cato. “You uh, got a name? Designation? Maybe an owner?” He asked during the climb, before plopping the droid down against the creaky floorboards.

Stormageddon​

 

[Stormageddon]

"A blender?" thought the droid. He made a pondering gesture with his arms. "Yes that could work. Maybe I will. Thanks, minion."

And then something magical happened. Stormageddon would start to float. Cato used the Force to grab him and raise him off of the ground and up the stairs. Stormageddon flailed his arms like he was trying to swim. "What's happening? What's going on? I'm flying!? I'm flying!"

After getting his bewilderment out of his circuits, the droid would look over at Cato -to the best of his ability since he couldn't move himself- and reply, "Owner? OWNER?! Nonsense! I am the great and powerful STORMAGEDDON! DARK PRINCE OF THE UNDERWORLD!!!! I have no master. I am the one true ruler of this galaxy."

Cato Harth

 

[Cato Harth]

Stormageddon
​

Cato set the droid down once they reached the next level, “Next time I’m gonna have to charge ya. Airfare ain’t cheap these days.”

The droid responded to his next comment with a sudden outburst, which Cato regarded with a bemused series of blinks, “...That’s pretty rad. Dark Prince huh? What’s the underworld like?” A droid this peculiar was a rare encounter, one which Cato was intent on seeing through. It was fascinating. Also, it was pretty amusing too.

He stepped into the room and gave it a quick scan, checking for any hidden signs of life but still finding none. The Knight sighed before leaning up against one of the support pillars as he waited to hear the droid’s answers. “I’d love to have a look at your inner systems some time, if you’ll let me.” A confused look grew onto his face as he pondered his phrasing, “That wasn’t an attempt at flirting, just so we’re clear.”

 

[Stormageddon]

"The underworld?" the droid said in confusion. "Isn't that where we are now? It's dark and gloomy here. Unless.....oh no! Have I been taken away from my dominion?! Tell me it isn't so!"

Stormageddon would start to spin around in distress. It was totally oblivious to whatever Cato was doing as he searched the upper floor. When Cato asked to see his systems, the droid would stop its little tantrum and roll over to face him. "Oh minion. You're such a tease." It wasn't much of an answer as it was a deflection of the question.

From there, the little droid would roll around again taking in the sights of the room and everything on that floor. "I have to say, minion. This spot is going to be perfect for my new hideout. We just need to install a ramp. You any good with building, minion?"

Cato Harth

 

[Cato Harth]

Stormageddon​

“Well, I guess the argument could be made that we are, in fact, in the underworld.” Cato offered, only for a few distant blaster shots to ring out in good timing. He pointed his thumb at the window in the direction of the noise as confirmation of his point. Nar Shaddaa really was something else. Even under Concord supervision, there was just no wiping away all that scum and villainy.

The droid’s deflection of his request did not go unnoticed, but Cato withheld pushing the topic any further for now, at least not so directly, “At least somebody thinks so.”

He meandered casually just behind the droid, closer now, as he tried to get a further sense of what exactly was going on with it. “Uh, I usually prefer a bit more flair with my hideouts, but I won’t tell you how to live your life.” He shrugged, looking back towards the staircase, “Depends on what we’re building. I could probably fix together a simple ramp with time. Alternatively, just lay a solid, flat surface over the stairs and that’ll work as a decent substitute. Some kinda plank or something.” That was a lazier option, and therefore the more appealing one.

“Soooo, Stormageddon, huh? Can I call you Storm? Stormy maybe? Where do you come from, anyhow?”

 

[Stormageddon]

"We are? I mean...of course we are! I would know my own kingdom. Of course I would! Who told you I wouldn't!"

At the sound of the gun blasts, Stormageddon would turn and look around as if scanning for the cause. His eye socket whirred in and out as he observed. "Well minion, of course it isn't ready yet. There needs to be work. Bronze statues of me first off. How can you be an all powerful leader without statues of yourself?"

Cato would ask Stormageddon if he could call him by a shortname to which Stormageddon turned back around and slapped his calf with his arm. "Absolutely not! You can address me as Lord, Sir, or all powerful master. The audacity. Hmpf!" Stormageddon would then cross his arms in a huff showing his distaste for the subject. "But you want to hear where I came from? Sit down, minion. It's a long story."

"It was a warm summer evening on Cato Nemoida. I was in battle with a powerful gorgon monster of Malchior Six. The great beast tried to turn me to stone but my magical shield of Galtreeth kept the evil out of my eyes. With one last strike of the unending sword of truth I slay the powerful gorgon and dropped its body into the pit of grueling agony. And that was how I got my name as the Slayer of Gorgons."

Stromageddon would take a deep breath and continue his....odd story unless Cato decided to stop him for some reason.....

Cato Harth

 

[Cato Harth]

Stormageddon​

“Eh, I always found statues to be a little much. Feels like you’re compensating for something, y’know?”

Cato gave the droid an offended look as it slapped his thigh. Eventually he raised up his hands in acquiescence, “Alright, alright. ‘Lord, Sir, or all powerful master’ it is.” He’d just have to avoid referring to Stormageddon directly, he supposed. Getting told to do something was a pretty good way to get Cato not to do it.

At the droid’s request, he slid down against one of the support beams and took a seat, taking great enjoyment at listening to the droid’s story, though with no small amount of perplexity mixed in. “Well that is… very fascinating. I read a holomag a lot like that once.”

As entertaining as it was, it continued to bring up more questions. Just who was this droid? What even happened to it? Obviously whatever it was saying couldn’t be taken at face value, which made it all the more curious of a case. “What about before you were the Dark Prince and Slayer of Gorgons and all that. Were you ever just a…. a 'normal' droid?”

 

[Stormageddon]

"Compensating?" the little droid would ask. "What does that mean?" Apparently he didn't understand Cato's humor.

After telling his story. the Jedi would ask Stormageddon about his past. Even further of his past. The droid stopped short and scanned him with his eyes. In and out the socket went as if he was thinking. Or rather, lost in thought.

"Before.....?" Stormageddon didn't understand the question. Something in his data base was loading but it wouldn't find the answer. "Before....." He repeated the word again.

Stormageddon looked away and backed up from the Jedi. He put his hands to his "chin" and pondered much like a human would. He repeated the word a third time but still could not find the right words. He looked totally stumped. There was no answer. No memory. Or it had been wiped. He couldn't answer the man's question. Suddenly he burst out crying. Well, as much as a droid could actually cry. He made the sounds just as well. But there were no actual tears.

"I don't know! I can't remember! I don't remember being born. I don't remember learning to walk. Why can't I remember?" He then stopped and froze for a minute. "..."

"Wait a minute. Someone stole my memories! That's the only explanation! Minion, we have to get my memory back! Up up up! On your feet. We have to find my brain."

Cato Harth

 

[Cato Harth]

Stormageddon
​

“Don’t worry about it. Hey, don’t let me stop you from achieving your dreams.” He smirked, nudging the droid's ‘shoulder’.

Cato went quiet again as the droid tried to recall its previous life with unexpected results. His brow raised as the droid began crying, leaving the knight confused as to how to respond to this level of emotion from a droid like this.

“I don’t think most droids are ‘born’ in the strict sense of the term… or have to learn how to walk for that matter.” He cast even further suspicion, considering the droid locomoted using a wheel, not legs.

“Well, you almost certainly wouldn’t be functioning right now if your processor was missing. So I think your brain is probably right where it's supposed to be.” Cato pinched his chin in thought, a few more gunshots sounded off in the distance reminding Cato that he did have a job here on Nar Shaddaa he was supposed to be doing.

“Dammit. Look, uh, I’d love to analyze your processor if given the chance, but I got things I need to get done or I’m gonna get fired or something.” Jedi didn’t exactly get ‘fired’, but he wouldn’t be looking forward to whatever strongly worded lecture he may get for failing to complete his mission. Not to mention that not doing his job could lead to someone getting hurt. Cato practically stuck himself out the window, turning back to the droid again, “Uhhhh… call me? You could get someone else to do it, but they probably won’t be as cool. Also they’ll probably charge you for it.”

He gave the droid a salute and prepared to leap off. The sudden departure wasn’t exactly uncharacteristic of the knight, but it was hard to drag the guy away from something he was quite so interested in.

 

[Stormageddon]

"Do you think so?" the droid asked when Cato suggested his brain was right where it was supposed to be. "Yes I suppose you are right. Good thinking, minion. I knew I hired you for the right reasons."

Cato would move to the window and nearly out of it causing Stormageddon to roll over to him then. "MInion! You can't leave me. What about my missing memories? My quest for galactic domination?! I have plans, minion and I can't do that without you!" Stormageddon looked like he was about to cry. Again, as much as a droid could. His posture slouched. His arms sank and his wheel slightly retracted.

Cato Harth