Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Nameless

Having essentially made her home on Kashyyyk, Ra was given the freedom to come and go as she wanted. Even though she did not consider herself a Jedi in any manner, she far from an enemy to them. They had accepted her presence here and even allowed her to participate in several missions. Though her actual role for them was business, the fact she could use the Force granted her these invitations.

Time had passed since she lost her home on Vjun to the Sith. Once again they had partially destroyed her life and she still wanted to see them go down in the flames as her life had at their hands. There was seriously only a few good things in her life that helped keep her in check. Josh was the most important one and it was to him she had turned when things had gotten rough on her.

As she remembered everything that had happened to her, the sudden urge to have a drink came up. Grabbing her cloak, she threw it on over her shoulders and headed to the nearest cantina at the Rest. Sliding in, she took a seat at the bar and ordered herself a quick drink. It had been far too long since she had any that this was going to be a treat.

While she waited, she turned to look around at the various other patrons here. Not expecting to meet anybody she knew, her eyes fell on features that looked quite similar to Josh's and she lifted an eyebrow at that. Once her drink arrived, she turned away from her observation of the man and took her first sip. She was unaware of he had noticed her gaze or not, but right now, she made no move to approach him.

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
’Nice. Lost again.’

Gherron shook his head with a small smile as he realized he’d gone down the same path three times now. Good thing he wasn’t in a hurry. Then again, where was he going in the first place? He shrugged his shoulders gently. If it was really that important, he wouldn’t have forgotten. It was nice not having so much on his mind these days. He remembered a time when he thought he had to fix everything in the galaxy. Not only is that completely irrational, but all it ever did was stress him out and get him into trouble. Since he had joined the Silver Jedi on behalf of his brother, he’d taken more of a mentor figure for anyone who could use his knowledge. These days, he found he opened his mouth to impart a lesson more so than to yell at a Sith for doing bad things. It was nice. He stopped walking when he realized his feet had brought him to a humble bar. His mouth twitched in amusement. A bar? In a Jedi outpost, and on the wookiee homeworld, no less? Clearly, there were still things in the galaxy he had yet to see.

Stepping inside, his eyes scanned the small room for a few seconds before heading toward a seat. He had just sat down when he saw a rather attractive looking woman staring at him. He wasn’t looking for anything involving a woman these days, especially after his wife just up and vanishing, but something told him he’d better investigate. Getting back up with an exaggerated groan, he made his way over to the woman and sat across from her, eyebrow raised and smirk on his lips. ”Can I help you?”

[member="Riamah"]
 
It wasn't that Ra thought she was exactly staring at Gherron, but maybe her glance did linger on him longer than she expected. The groan he let out as he stood back up and headed to her table was missed. Not because she wasn't paying attention but because it was from across half the room. She hadn't actually heard it.

"Help me? I think I might be a little beyond that at this point."

She said this with a bit of a smile and looked at him again closer.

"You remind me very much of somebody quite close to me. I am Ra'a'mah Numare. But please, just call me Ra. So much easier to remember and pronounce."

Holding a hand out as she said her name, her other hand was wrapped around the glass that held her drink.

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
Gherron winced involuntarily, though only for the briefest of moments when he heard the tone the woman used initially. It was one he knew too well, having dealt with his own demons on several occasions. He made a note of it, perhaps he might prod a little, provided the conversation got that far. Reaching forward, he took her hand and shook it as she introduced herself.

"Ra. I like it, short and simple. I'm a bit new around here, so still learning my way around. Would you believe I literally stumbled on this place?" He shook his head with a small chuckle. "Sorry, manners. I'm Gherron Va-. Gherron Dragonsflame. But please, just call me Gherron."

He laughed softly at his joking reversal of Ra's introduction, while also shaking his head at himself. He was still getting used to the name. It wasn't so long ago that he was Gherron Vael, but everything had changed when it was discovered that Josh, his old master, and greatest friend, was also his blood brother. The galaxy could sometimes be a strangely small place.

[member="Riamah"]
 
The handshake was fast and Ra was thankful for that because when he introduced himself, she would have probably squeezed his hand rather hard.

"Well, that would explain why you look so much like him."

It was not that surprising to meet his brother, but she had expected that to happen at some sort of family function and not a random encounter like this. Now she was caught by surprise and she was pretty sure he would be too after she told him she was the partner of his brother.

"Let me just mention when I said you remind me of somebody I am very close to, that person is Josh. And well, we're partners. In quite a few different ways. It is nice to meet another person in his family."

Picking up her glass, she felt calm enough to take a drink from it. Holding it up for just a moment, she took that sip and set it back down on the table.

"So Gherron, I suppose I'm rather new here myself. I recently lost my home to the Sith and stay here with Josh now, but I sort of came and went before that happened. What brought you back here?"

She did not mean the cantina they sat in but The Rest itself and hopefully, Gherron would understand that.

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
Gherron's eyes widened slightly when he heard his brother's name. The galaxy surely was a small place...

"So you're the reason Josh has been so happy lately. Seriously, I haven't seen him moping around nearly as much as he usually does." It was a small fib; he was mainly picking at Josh's character the same way Josh did his, though for good reason. However, with the tenseness he sensed in the woman, something told him that it was something she needed to hear. Losing one's home to the Sith... Well, he couldn't relate to that, but the Sith had taken away several of those close to him in the past. He knew where she was coming from.

"Honestly? Just exploring, as I do sometimes. I'm still adjusting to being back in civilization, and with the fact that I have a kid, and that even more recently the wife just kind of poofed...Well, it's nice to be around other people that I can count on. Josh introduced me to the Silver Jedi some time ago, and I just recently started coming around more often."

As he spoke, he flagged waitress over, and once she had arrived he ordered a small glass of rum.

[member="Riamah"]
 
The surprise was hard to miss, but that had been her intention in a way. She had picked her words carefully and couldn't help but smile a little at what Gherron said about Josh's mopey attitude changing. Maybe she had played a role in that and Ra liked the thought if it was true. Hearing the story he said about his won wife, she nodded in understanding. It was a tale far too familiar and so similar to Josh.

"I am sorry to hear that, Gherron."

Her tone indicated she did mean that. Not meeting him in the eyes, she wasn't sure how much he knew about what had happened with Josh while he was away. If his brother did not already know what had happened, she didn't feel she was the person to inform him of everything.

"Finding people to count on and trust can be difficult. Josh is the only one here that has really earned that so far, but I keep to myself quite often. So I guess it is my own fault."

Shrugging her shoulders slightly, even if there weren't many here at the Rest she trusted, she had a group of friends outside of the Jedi. They were the ones she trusted fully.

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
Gherron heard and recognized the tone in her voice as she apologized. It seemed the two were quite similar in what they had seen and been through. So too was Josh. The galaxy was strange that way, finding lost souls and bringing them together. Gherron wasn’t much of a believer in fate, but it was moments like this that made him at least consider the possibility of something larger at work.

”Josh is a good guy. Even back before we knew we were brothers, when I was just his padawan and testing his patience every day, he never gave up on me. He has his faults like all of us, but I learned to be patient and kind from him.”

His drink arrived then, with which he raised up slightly in toast before taking a small sip. He let the liquid rush over his tongue for a few seconds, enjoying the flavor as it washed over his tastebuds before finally swallowing it.

”I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to thankfully, but I still enjoy a good glass of rum every once in a while.”

[member="Riamah"]
 
It appeared Josh has been like he was with her for quite a long while. As Gherron had pointed out, he did have flaws, but everybody did. Some more than others and even now Ra was still working with her demons. There were times when that former Sith thinking came up and she lashed out. Those moments were getting rarer and she was thankful for that.

Her face grew a bit soft and she smiled with a small nod in agreement. Picking up her own glass, she joined him in making a slight toast and took a sip of the drink within. She didn't drink as much either, but the only time she had really indulged before was in her castle of Vjun. Her home the Sith had forcefully taken from her.

"My picks varied depending on my mood. If you like sweet drinks, I would suggest giving this one a try. It can be drunk like juice and before you know it, you're totally wasted."

Chuckling a little, that wasn't her intention today.

"Yes, Josh is a very good guy. I sometimes wonder what even brought us together. I don't regret it at all and he has made me a far better person than I could have ever done on my own."

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
A small chuckle escaped his lips as Ra mentioned her own drink, and held up a hand in denial. ”Oh no, I could never. I don’t trust myself to have something that goes down that easily and expect to not wake up with a hangover in the morning. I’ve had my share of bad mornings, but that’s not me anymore. For me, rum is just the right amount of goodness and bitterness so that I know when to stop.” He took another sip then to further his point.

”I owe that man a lot of things, if we’re being honest. But I like to think that I’ve taught him a few things along the way too. We’re eerily alike sometimes, but other times we couldn’t be more different. It’s amazing to think that we grew up separately.” Gherron rotated his glass as he talked, watching the ice swirl around. “But what about you? What’s your story Ra?” No matter how much she smiled, there was still a deep sadness in her eyes, one that he couldn’t quite let go. If there was any way he could help... Even by listening, he would do it.

[member="Riamah"]
 
"I wasn't offering you my drink! Just suggested giving one a try."

Understanding his point though, Ra nodded and set her glass back down on the table. Listening to what he had to say about his relationship with Josh, he got a half smile from her. He had helped her learn a few things as well, but she wasn't sure she had done the same. Not that she was keeping score or anything, but it did cause her to pause in thought.

"Siblings can be like that though. Maybe it's in the shared blood. Who knows?"

To her knowledge, she did not have any blood relatives. Several years ago, she had been adopted by Stardust and made a sister of her, but it wasn't quite the same as a blood relative. When he asked what her story was, her eyes narrowed slightly and a sigh escaped her. Picking her glass up and taking a sit, it gave her a few moments to think of something to say. In the end, a question answered him.

"What do you want me to start?"

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
”Whatever you feel comfortable with”, he said gently. Gherron knew she had something deep inside that she told almost nobody. Everyone had that, even him. As he thought about his own demons, he absentmindedly rubbed the scar on his chest. He didn’t even realize he was doing it; that’s how engrained that memory was.

Gherron didn’t want to seem like he was trying to hit on her; the sad part was that these days, simple acts of kindness were so often treated as such, especially when said acts happened to be a little physical. However, for some people physical touch was more comforting than any words could ever be. So, he reached out and took her hand in his, a simple way of saying “It’s okay, I’m here.” The way he saw it, all he was doing in that moment was letting another soul know she wasn’t alone in the galaxy. Besides, he was sure it was something Josh would do.

[member="Riamah"]
 
When his hand moved to his chest, her eyes followed it. Something was there he kept to himself and he probably didn't even think about his action. Ra did not ask about it though and she returned her look to his face as he reached out to take a hold of her hand. For just a moment, she stiffened up, but her hand remained within his.

Shaking her head, the one holding her drink let go and she wagged a finger at him slightly with the shake of her head. The whole interaction so far was very similar to when she met Josh. Not here at the Rest for business this time, Josh had done the same move back then as they had talked about Codes and calling. Even if the topic was entirely different, the act was the same.

"I am a different woman than what first stepped onto Kashyyyk. No longer do I call myself Sith. However, I don't call myself Jedi either. That is something I have never figured out. What am I?"

It was a starting point and an important one. The meeting of Josh and their conversation that had come had been a catalyst for Ra and the walk down memory lane she was having with Gherron, well, it made sense to her.

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
Gherron listened to Ria's thoughts and concerns, and they hit a little close to home. While he had never considered himself Sith at any point in his life, he had struggled with the dark side. On that, maybe he could empathize. However, when she asked the inevitable question, "What am I?", his heart went out to her. Suddenly, he found himself speaking before he had the will to stop himself.

"I spent nearly a year in isolation because I couldn't face myself or anyone else, because of a horrible thing i'd done. I didn't think anyone could possibly forgive me, because I couldn't forgive myself. Every day for that year, I asked myself the same question. It took Josh of all people to tell me to get my head out of my ass." He smirked slightly at that. "I know all too well that some scars run a lot deeper than our skin. Some never go away, and i'm still dealing with my biggest one. I know what it's like to feel like you don't know yourself, and i'm only just recently finding myself again. You've gotta find your anchor, and it can't be a person. It needs to be something inside."

[member="Riamah"]
 
She and Josh had a conversation quite similar when they had met. She had asked almost the same thing then and it was still yet undecided by her what she was. No longer was she Sith and with some of her beliefs in things, Ra did not feel she would ever be Jedi. Then again, she didn't know if she wanted to be one. Allied with them and helping them out was not an issue at all, but their code was just confusing and not something she fully agreed with. Granted it was always open to be interpreted in many ways, she didn't feel any way could apply to her.

Listening to what he said about himself, she nodded in understanding. Taking a year off to go into seclusion wasn't an option for her and she didn't feel there was anything she had done that needed forgiving. Scars lasted forever though and there were quite a few buried that nobody would be aware of unless she said something. Josh knew much of her past, where she had come from and some of what she had done. There wasn't anything she had intentionally kept secret from him, but not everything had been talked about yet.

"Something inside? I've been a lone wolf most of my adult life. It wasn't until I met Josh that I started changing. I realized I didn't have to be alone. You speak of an internal anchor. I am not sure that is what I need."

She didn't know if it was going to make sense, but that was how she felt. Josh was her anchor and had been there almost since day one.

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 
Gherron opened his mouth in rebuttal the instant Ra had spoke, then promptly shut it. That’s right, not everyone was like him. Maybe it was because he had been burned by so many others, or because he had pushed everyone away when he needed them most, but he found he could trust very few people on that level these days. That was why he was so adamant about finding something to keep him in check, instead of someone. Ironically enough, that anchor he spoke of for himself was the very thing that had put him in his current position. It was sobering to him; a reminder of what was and what could be again if he stepped out of line or screwed up. It tore him up inside, knowing what he did and thinking about his son. He loved him with everything he had, but was everything he had enough?

”I... understand. I wish I had that someone, but trust comes slim for me these days.”

It was strange for Gherron, baring his soul like this to someone he’d just met. Riamah was the kind of person he felt he could trust, though he couldn’t quite explain it.

[member="Riamah"]
 
He mentioned trust and it being hard to come by. Lifting her drink, that was something Ra could toast to. Tipping it in his direction in a salute, she took a sip and set the glass down on the table with a slight thud.

"Trust is difficult to place in people. They come and go so quickly from our lives or find ways to betray it. Josh has earned mine and I will never do anything to betray the trust he had put in me."

Alone Ra was nobody, with her friends and those she did trust, she was force to be reckoned with. She wasn't a powerful person, it was the people she knew that were. One thing Ra did not do was use or abuse them, but worked with them and appreciated them for who they were, not what they could offer.

"Trust takes time for me."

The question might be asked if she trusted Gherron and that answer would be no. However, she did not automatically not trust him. At the moment, she was quite neutral to him. He had one thing going for him and that he was the brother of Josh.

[member="Gherron Dragonsflame"]
 

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