First Reply Looking for a way back

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant

It had been another night of binge drinking, soul searching and casual sleeping with a random stranger. Waking up somewhere unfamiliar and with a massive hangover, it was not a pleasant feeling. Kat left in a rush, avoiding the stranger who was in the bathroom when Kat woke up, reaching her place with little walk of shame interaction Kat was able to shower and drink a lot of caf to help with the migraine. She knew why this cycle was still happening, there was an unbalance in her life and she was just defaulting to self-destruction. It wasn't healthy but ever since Kat felt that she wasn't a Jedi anymore, she was unsure where she stood as a Force User and just wanted to figure out who she was. Her training had been minimal though she pushed herself to progress and did plenty of self training to reach the point where she was, however that offhand training meant that she was unsure what it meant to be a Jedi and whether she wanted to be one herself. Being around the New Jedi Order had brought back feelings of wanting to be a Jedi again, but there was so much doubt and anxiety around it that Kat couldn't be sure that jumping back in was the right decision. Of course, there was the issue with whether NJO was right for her as well since they were in constant war with the Sith and Kat left the SJC due to them constantly being in war. War wasn't for Kat, she hated it and hated losing those that she had grown close with, which were many of people who trusted her as a leader. A role Kat didn't think she deserved or was suited for.

Dressed in her casual attire, white shirt with a low neckline, tight jeans and thick combat boots. Her long white hair was still damp and hung loose, she remembered a new braid that she had learned the other day that she felt the need to try today. Brushing her hair till it was smooth and neat, Kat started braiding her hair in the style she had see. Looking at herself in the mirror, she admired the look, it was nice and she liked the way it worked with her long hair. Letting out a sigh of relief, Kat ruffled the rest of her hair and styled it into a wavy mess. Grabbing her cropped jacket, she headed outside and decided that it was a pleasant enough day to wander around and admire the city in the morning. It wasn't too cold for the early morning, but not summer hot either, she enjoyed the quiet that this time of morning brought, before morning work rush while still being light.

Letting her feet guide her on where to go, she found herself walking through the empty markets, stalls closed for now before arriving at the temple. Shaking her head, clearly her thoughts of being a Jedi had led her here, perhaps there was someone or something she could find that would help her out. She wasn't sure what she was going to find that she hadn't tried reading or listening to before but she just had to hope that this time would be different. Wandering forward, Kat stopped outside the archives, placing her hand on the door. No, she didn't want to stuck in the archives all day again, too many days she had found herself there. No, this time she needed to search somewhere new. Her feet guided her to the cantina, her noses inhaled the intoxicating scent of freshly cooked breakfast. Perfect, she was starving and if someone wanted to join her and help her out then all the better. Paying for a sizeable meal, Kat sat at a table and slowly starting eating. Looking around, clearly hopeful to find someone help her out in finding balance in her life once again.

 

[Aayla Shan]

Some of the black dye in her hair had begun streaking out, leaving her hair a patchwork of black, white, gray, and what seemed like ash in some places. It worked for her still somehow, as Aayla stepped from the back of what ironically doubled as a safehouse for her side duties, her eyes briefly rested on the woman that was already inside eating. "Mornin?" she said, not intending for it to sound like a question, though it probably did. In any case, someone being in there broke her stride for some reason, seemingly tugged into a seat and shaking her head. She yawned, and stretched, signaling she hadn't woken up long ago, and would get something to eat herself.

It was interesting for Aayla to be in close proximity to someone like this, quite frankly Kat Decoria 's current lifestyle was one Aayla was headlong for on her current path. She wanted to strictly follow the Jedi Code, but she had a fire that most didn't. The stoic, straight-backed mysticism of the Jedi didn't suit her very well, and in that regard perhaps that gave them the impression that Aayla in turn didn't suit them well. Now, she was in training to become a Jedi shadow.

She had no interest in networking with other Jedi, outside of a Grand-Master that she would report too, preferring to do things her own way. As she ate, she would turn partly, and look over the other... Aayla was born and raised on Kashyyyk, and would remember most faces that were around... It was for this reason she pointed at the other off-handedly.

"Hey, I know you from somewhere?"

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Jedi Temple cantina, Coruscant
Tag: Aayla Shan

As Kat drank the strong, cheap caf from the cafeteria, she noticed someone new heading into the room. They were clearly just waking up, and decided to take a seat by Kat while they both ate. Kat eyed the person carefully, trying to get some assessment of who they were and what she might be dealing with since she didn't recognise them. Taking a couple mouthfuls of food, Kat figured that she might as well strike up a conversation with the stranger. Nothing indicated that they were untrustworthy yet and she really needed someone to talk to and perhaps even open up to. The white hair normally indicate that they could be Echani but something about the way they carried themselves suggested that they weren't to Kat. Though she could be way off base in that assumption, judging a person was never a strong suit, hence the terrible one night stands and dates that she had been on recently.

"Not sure? I was part of the SJC before staying here on Coruscant, travelled around a bit, hard to stay put as of late." Kat confessed, unsure why she was admitting this much but she figured that she might as well since part of the reason she was here to get help. Only way to get help was to talk as much as Kat despised talking and opening up to people. "How about yourself? Are you around here often or just visiting?" Kat asked, it wasn't uncommon for Jedi of various factions visiting other temples and learn from different teachers based in different factions with very different ideologies.

Kat continued to drink her caf, finishing her cup and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes. The hangover was still kicking her butt, headache was not coping with the bright light of the morning. She rubbed her temples slowly, deeply as she tried not to let the nausea that her stomach was feeling overcome her. She hadn't thrown up from drinking since she was 19. And she swore that was due to a dodgy drink more than admitting it was her drinking twenty shots plus the several whiskies. Had been a great night though, terrible morning, but great night. Wolfing down her food, she poured herself a glass of water and sipped at it slowly, deciding hydrating herself might help. Looking over to Aayla, curious to hear what brought the Jedi here.

 

[Aayla Shan]

Aayla listened to the other speak in full, gratefully taking a tray of food from the tender of the establishment. She wasted no time digging into the plate; eyes periodically glancing from what she was putting in her mouth, to the mouth of the person sitting just aside of her. After Kat Decoria said her peace, Aayla would chuckle a bit, upnodding once. If there was one thing no one would take away from her, she had one hell of a memory.

"Mhm... I'm apart of the S-J-C as well..."she admitted, also feeling a very low amount of threat from the other. All the same, acting as a Shadow currently she probably should've omitted that information. It just didn't seem as though she needed too. She observed the other though, noting and quite literally smelling the alcohol that was still on her flesh. Not to mention another smell that she wouldn't acknowledge at this moment. She kept eating, and would allow a few beats to pass before continuing.

"I'm on a mission here... I can dig it being hard to stay in one place, if I'm being honest. I was recently on house arrest, you could say..."Aayla said, noting that this person was indeed a Force Warrior of some sort, or perhaps had the propensity to be one. Of course she had no reason to engage her in battle, but wasn't a fool enough to not note the possibility that the other could be dangerous.

"I'm definitely not around often, I'm heading back to Kashyyyk this morning. I have to report on my most recent mission, and hopefully they'll send me to the front to fight the Bryn'Adul..." Aayla seemed to freeze up when she said that, glancing over at the other.

"No doubt you've heard of them... Anyway.. Why did you get away from the Concord?" Aayla asked, putting down her food, and this time turning partly to face the other. The answer to that question would interest her greatly, for reasons Kat wouldn't be aware of yet.

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Jedi Temple cantina, Coruscant
Tag: Aayla Shan

Kat did have a shower before coming to the temple, she didn't think she reeked of alcohol and other scents but from the small reactions of Aayla's nose and expressions, perhaps she didn't do a good enough job. Frustrating issue, she had hoped to avoid being judged for drinking and living a little recklessly but she was sure she would be able to avoid this. Finishing her glass of water, she poured herself another glass and then looked over to Aayla as they explained that they were part of the SJC. Curious, Kat figured that they must have been around after Kat left awhile back, it would be interesting to see how different Kashyyyk and SJC was now, though they were constantly plagued by the Bryn'adul and Sith so it was not likely to be a warm welcome.

"House arrest? Must have done something really bad to earn that. Seen plenty of Jedi Padawans get away with a lot in SJC in the past." Kat was never one to get into trouble herself when she was a Padawan but she had friends that would get into trouble and thrived on causing chaos. It was fun to watch them get caught. "Don't have to explain what happened if you don't want to." Kat added, realising that she didn't want to force the stranger to confess to something serious that might bring up difficult memories. "Anything that I should be worried about?" Seemed that Aayla was a no nonsense type of Jedi. Not something that Kat ever was, she was much more carefree.

Finishing her second glass of water, she could feel her stomach settle a bit more. It would be easy for her to use the Force to remove the hangover affects but Kat wanted to make herself suffer the consequences. Her decisions were reckless and she felt she needed to deal with the aftermath. There had been times, when she had perhaps a little more than she wanted or didn't care about the aftermath that she avoided the hangover, but today, she was willing to suffer in hopes of moving forward and getting back on track. Figuring that if she wasn't suffering for last night then she wouldn't feel the need to get back on track in her life.

"Bryn'adul? I hear fighting those monsters is tough and dangerous work. I wouldn't look to rush into battle, eager to risk your life means that you aren't thinking about the serious consequences. Especially if you don't know how to keep yourself safe and alive." Kat had been a healer for too many Jedi, young Jedi, who rushed into war for glory and came back seriously changed, both physically and mentally. While physically she could help them, mentally was a whole different wheelhouse that she was not trained for. "Frontline is where most soldiers die, while it is brave to fight and die for a cause you believe in, don't seek out death." Kat warned in a tired voice.

"I left the SJC because I didn't see myself a Jedi. I didn't see myself able to be a Jedi part of them. It was during a time when the SJC was constantly warring with Sith and Bryn'adul forces. I am not built for war, for seeing people I care about die while I am unable to do anything to save them." Kat admitted, feeling the need for another drink or three as flashes of memory of people she once led, dying all around her. "I became a Jedi to help people, going to war and killing people, I just felt that I was losing the Jedi I thought I wanted to be but I am unsure what it means to be a Jedi and whether I am suited to be one."

 

[Aayla Shan]

(Whoops, my mistake about the scents :OOC

"I acted well above my station, that's pretty much the long AND short of it..." Aayla immediately answered, having gotten over the whole situation as a whole. "I wanted to protect, and... Well what can I say I pretty much told my superiors to screw off at the time. I did end up protecting those people, and getting them off of the planet we were on; but they sat my butt down for a little over a year after that fiasco. About two months ago I got cleared to be back in the field." she said, eyes perking up and listening to the other as she spoke.

When Kat mentioned not seeking death, Aayla could only chuckle at that, picking up a piece of sausage and munching on it. After she swallowed the food down, and took a sip of water, she would glance over again. "If there's one fact of life I can tell you at this point.... Only two things that are certain are Death and Taxes. I'm not looking for death, but I'm not shying away from my fate... If its the Bryn, or a blaster bolt to the back... Or a Shiv, or whatever the heck... A shoddy life support system. I know for a fact, that in that moment when it comes there is NOTHING I can do about it... And while it sounds crazy.. That brings me comfort. That allows me to live freely, and without regret.. Mostly, anyway."

Aayla grimaced then, remembering her friend was still somewhere laid up with a snapped spinal cord from the Bryn'Adul. That was something she regretted, but the honest truth was she couldn't have done anything to stop it anyway. She wasn't there after all, and for all she knew if she was she might've been crippled, or killed alongside her.

She slid the tray away from her, and glanced over with a sullen gaze."Anyway, I know what you mean... I'm such a hothead, eventually they'll kick me out; or I'll make a mistake too big for me to redeem myself from.. Something, I just feel it. And yeah, in war..." she shuddered thinking about how the Bryn'Adul's war machine worked first hand.

On one hand, it was an envious perfect machine... From a warriors standpoint they were a perfect fighting force. From the other side?

"All I know is every last one of those things need to die. They have no respect for life, they don't give chances, or... Anything, anything at all... They just exterminate, and move on... Sure, I'm sure you're talking about something not so dire but... The truth is sometimes bad people only speak one language"

Aayla said, producing her lightsaber, and lightly pressing the base of it atop the table. She offered the other a smile, and stood up, clipping it back to her waist. Her shuttle was leaving soon. "It was nice to meet you.... I didn't get your name" Aayla said, lightly stretching again and taking a single step back from the other.

 

[Kat Decoria]

Hearing about what happened with Aayla, Kat nodded her head in understanding. It can be hard to follow orders, especially when you are trying to save lives. She might have disagreed in punishing Aayla for it since the woman was clearly just trying to do her best and follow the Jedi Code in prioritising life of innocents. At least, that was how Kat was seeing it but she didn't make a comment, it wasn't her place. Nodding her head, "must be nice to be able to go offworld and have some fun." Kat commented as she thought about how bored and frustrated she would be stuck in a Jedi Temple.

Aayla mentioned that there were only two things in life that were certain, Kat knew where it was going. While death was inevitable, it did not mean one could risk their lives, especially in dangerous situations because they believed that they did not fear death. Everyone feared death, it just took death to be in view for them to fear it. "Have you fought the Bryn before? I fought them several times and it was terrifying. Death is something to fear, always, especially when there are things in your life worth living for and you should always have things to live for. Otherwise what is the point in existing?"

Shakes her head, "no one is perfect, there are no big mistakes to be irredeemable, as long as you are willing to learn from it and better yourself." Kat pointed out, "as long as you want to be a Jedi, strive to learn and work to be the best Jedi that you can be then no Jedi Order is going to turn you away." Hoping that could help Aayla out. There seemed to be deep aggression and hate towards the Bryn'adul, a feeling that was all too familiar to Kat who felt the same way before. "Don't lose yourself in your hatred of the Bryn'adul, it is all too easy to do so."

Standing up, she offered her hand to Aayla, "I am Kat. Kat Decoria." Introducing herself.

Aayla Shan

 

[Aayla Shan]

That hand was taken, grasped even, a sound of flesh meeting flesh briefly audible as she almost slapped her own hand happily into the others. A welcoming nod was added to it, smirk given in response.

"Padawan Aayla-Senn Shan... And no, not yet... Soon though, if they keep up the way they are? I know I'll be called to do so"

Aayla gave her own name in return, continuing to shake before letting the others hand go. With that, she nodded and took another step back; turning to leave. She got near the door, then slowed to a stop, turning back to the other again. Her eyes went from Kat, to her already eaten food, then back up to her.

"You know... Kashyyyk is pretty nice this time of year. I'm sure you probably have way more fun here in Coruscant, but... We have space, if you... If you wanna' give more tips on being a Jedi."

She clearly teased the other with those words, but also offered something she wasn't even aware of. It was a path back, if Kat wanted it. Whatever she did after she hopped off the shuttle was her own business. Aayla just wanted to speak with her more. She was wise, even for someone that probably hadn't kept the Jedi Code in high standard as of recent. She still spoke like one, something like that didn't get past Aayla.

There was no good reason to invite her back to Silver Rest, but for some reason something in Aayla told her to do so, and she followed her instinct. Not like she expected Kat to take the offer, but it was extended all the same.

 

[Kat Decoria]

As Kat shook hands with Aayla, she could see the optimism in the Padawan's eyes. It would be curious to see if it was still there after her first experience in war. Kat knew that her first ever battle changed her forever and seeing the destruction of her homeworld was devastating, war changed a person and it was never in a positive manner. It would be sad to see the hope and optimism in the girl fade away.

"Well I hope that you cause the Bryn'adul to retreat in fear to never return then Aayla." Kat offered a small smile in hopes that Aayla defied the odds.

Spotting Aayla turn around, she felt her eyes widen and was surprised by the offer. She had never considered Kashyyyk home really, while she had been part of the SJO, she felt never felt like she belonged there. That her destiny lied elsewhere. While she was still lost as part of the GA, something felt a little different. However, she couldn't help but appreciate the offer. It had been awhile since she had last been to Kashyyyk so a visit was not out of the question if she ever found herself in that area.

Chuckling deeply, "well, not sure I could do much preaching as a Jedi. Not exactly setting the high standard as one." Kat gestured to her hungover self with a smirk etched on her lips. "I'll be sure to look you up if I am ever in the area." Offering a slightly flirty wink to Aayla as she poured herself another glass of water. Remaining sat in the room, thinking on the meeting and where she stood in her life.

Aayla Shan

 

[Aayla Shan]

She smirked at that, and nodded at the commentary. Aayla raised a fist, and lightly thudding it into an open palm. "I'll kick the crap outta' the Bryn'Adul.. They won't know what hit em'" the girl said naively, even having seen photos, and videos of war with the creatures, she still held that much optimism for what she would be able to do, unaware just how far her first contact would drive her away from her path. As far as the invitation, Aayla would only shake her blackened hair with a laugh. She didn't expect the other to really take that offer anyway. She could understand why at that.

That wink would cause Aayla to blush, thinking about something herself. She had been getting a lot of attention from both genders lately. She never really did give much time or attention to such things, and generally ignored it, but in this instance receiving a flirtatious gesture from another woman caught her completely off guard. She took a step back, almost tripping over a bench that was pulled out, and let out a cry of surprise. Turning quickly, she righted herself, and chuckled, quickly glancing back to the other.

"Stupid bench, An-.. Anyway, yeah I'll see you Kat... I'm on floor one, bunk 6-A... If you ARE ever in the area" Aayla would say, offering the other a smile and a wave, before turning and sliding out the door with a smile, and a red tinge on her cheeks. It was nice to meet new people...

Kat Decoria

 

[Kat Decoria]

The optimism from Aayla was nice to see, Kat felt much older than she actually was in her views on war and combat. Could be due to the fact that she was very experience in loss and the tragedies of war even at such a young age, between the conflicts that she had actively taken part in and the war that came to her home, Eshan. There was plenty that she had seen and personally felt. Kat watched the enthusiasm that radiated from Aayla turn into sudden embarrassment and red flush of Aayla's cheeks after Kat winked at her.

Kat couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, it was nice to see that she still had her charms after all this time. Stretching her limbs, she felt her flexible form stretch in the sunlight and wake up somewhat reluctantly. Aayla left in a rush, with Kat offering her a wave in farewell, keeping in mind to perhaps meet Aayla at a later date. Taking her tray, she binned the waste, now that her hangover seemed to have faded somewhat. Kat felt curious once again, she was sure that she could learn from the grand library here on Coruscant, hands sliding into her pockets, she wandered on her way to the library. Whistling a little tune as she thought about the things that Aayla said to her.

Perhaps that enthusiasm rubbed off on Kat, letting her just enjoy the day.

Aayla Shan