Letters Home

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer sat on her bed as she quietly stared at the letter she had written several times over. The woman she wrote to was someone she hadn't spoken too in some time. Her mother, the Clan Mother of the Singing Mountain - her home. Closing her eyes, Spencer finally felt the letter was finished and with that she pressed the send button.

Some time later, it arrived to Satara.

Attn.@[member="Satara Hawk"]
From: Spencer Jacobs


To my mother, I know I haven’t called or written home for some time now – years even. I just wanted to let you know I’m happy and I’m safe. I’ve seen the galaxy, I’ve been to places that were only in my dreams as a child, and all I’ve thought of was to make you proud. Aston is good, I can still feel him – he’s with the Jedi last I checked, I try not to pry into his private affairs – we’re a lot older now, we’re not kids anymore.

I miss home though, I miss it so much. I miss being with the Rancors, I miss seeing the traditions that made our people who they are. If I could, I would go back a thousand times, but most of all what I miss of home is you. So much has happened in my short life and I know so much more will happen, I just wish you were around to talk to me, to help me figure things out. I’d like to come home soon, I want you to formally meet my Mate. I know I was young when I met her, but everything just felt right…

You know of her already, she’s the reason why Ti’Cira banished me from Dathomir. @[member="Ashin Varanin"], I’ve stayed with her since I met her when I was a padawan of the Order, once I left the Order she gave me refuge and began to teach me – helping me with my unique abilities. She is an amazing teacher and mentor, everything I’ve learned since I left Dathomir can be attributed to her. I don’t know how or when it happened, but an evening everything in my mind registered how I felt about my teacher – she felt the same. From then, I’ve never left her side. We’ve conquered lands, saved people and provided refuge to those in need. We made a home on Annaj and she’s the Grand Admiral of the Fringe. My home is where ever Ashin is. She asked me to marry her soon after she had disappeared for so long. Mother I never felt so much sadness in my heart, my world doesn’t exist without her. Knowing that and when she proposed – I knew I couldn’t live without her.

We married and she became my Mate on her home world – I’ve never been happier, I wish you could have been there. It was our choice not only for safety, but for the spontaneous nature of the proposal – we eloped it just made more sense and I do apologize for not letting you know this sooner Mother. We’ve been married for a year now and I know we haven’t come by to receive your blessing – I just feel I can’t come home not yet. Soon I promise you, I want you to meet her – she makes me feel amazing.

Other things have happened of course, I can’t leave out my personal adventures. I did say so much has happened to me. One very distinct day that sticks out in my mind was after a fight on Mustafar. A woman threatened the safety of our hiding after the Empire removed Ashin as their leader. She was on the hunt for us and I was tired of hiding. I’m a Hawk I do not hide I take each challenge head on. I went looking for her and found her on the fire planet of Mustafar. We fought the battle was hard, she was strong, but I was stronger. My years of training with Ashin and the things I learned from Kamon and others that had contributed kept me alive. Though as prepared as I was – I did fall. She broke through my defenses and a piece of debris stabbed me in my torso. I couldn’t die there, my first thought was of you and my memories of home, then I thought about my life and how I wasn’t ready to die just yet. My strength and my heritage kept me going as I removed the debris and made sure I was going to take her with me. I was saved though by Ashin.

As much as my letter has conveyed my desire of home – I cannot come yet. Your fears of me falling to the Dark Side have somewhat come true. I continue to desire balance, but through my actions and my youth I have done things that have forced my hand, forced my change. I’m too young for the responsibilities that I have. I was foolish in thinking I had finished growing, that I had learned everything this Universe and the Force had to offer. My foolish desires to claim territory drove me into a battle that I was responsible for. I attacked someone, not for revenge, not for the greater good, but I attacked someone because I wanted what they had – I wanted to protect the Fringe from hurt and I saw the Atrisians as a threat. People died for my worry, for my desire and I don’t know if I could live with that. Frustrations came after Ashin worked out some sort of peace with the Emperor of the Galactic Empire. I had failed and saw the disappointment in everyone’s eyes. Thinking of the people that were lost because of me, I couldn’t take it and went into solitude. My anger manifested into storms that clouded the planet I was hiding on, only one brave enough to find me was Ashin. She pulled me back before the darkness could really take me. I’m working on returning to balance, finding Allya again. When that happens I’ll come home, I’ll bring Ashin.

I miss you, father and my family, I know I’ve been gone for so long and all my heart craves is to feel the ground of Dathomir under my feet. Until then, I have my dreams and my memories. I want you to know that I’m okay and I’m doing well for myself. I know it’s been 3 years since we’ve spoken, but you’re forever in my heart and on my mind.

I love you.

Spencer

 

[Satara Hawk]

The Ma'tra had been spending her day outside, visiting members of her clan and listening to their problems. When she finally returned home, she had been ready to crash but instead, she heard a small beeping sound coming from further in the main room. She had forgotten what it was. During her time with the Jedi, Satara had spent more time using the device but after returning home, little use had been found for it. But now that the beep kept repeating itself, she finally remembered what it was and started looking for it.

It took her some time to finally catch it when when she did, there was a long letter waiting for her, from her daughter Spencer. Satara smiled and settled in on the couch. There was certainly plenty to read. First thing she learned that her daughter was happy and safe and that just made her smile grow wider. She continued reading through the entire letter, some things making her happy while others sad or even surprised. It was such a long letter that it made her go through an entire range of emotions.

When she finally finished, she adjusted herself and began writing a response.

Attn. @[member="Spencer Jacobs"]
From: Satara Hawk

My dearest baby girl, thank you for writing to me. I wish we could say these things face to face but unfortunately, we both know how our clan is and how the people of this planet are. Things I understood and accepted wholeheartedly a long time ago, I've rethought in the recent decades. I can thank my children first and foremost. I've seen you all range from Jedi to Sith and all between in the galaxy and yet I've seen you still keep your love for your family. I has made me understand a lot. Even made me see that the hate I have for the Nightsisters has been intense in the past. A woman asked me a question the other day, she asked whether I would see all the Nightsisters destroyed but under the condition that I can never see Dathomir. I realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave my home and I couldn't end an entire group of women and men. Despite their choices. We all make our choices, darling. I understand that now and unless given reason, I have no reason to judge.

I miss you. Your father misses you. And, this will come as a surprise to you, your brother is here. I'm sure he misses you as well. Aston came home not to long ago and has been living here. He's also began his training. You can imagine how happy that makes me. Though he doesn't seem to sleep. Hopefully, we'll be able to address this soon enough. Just have to give him plenty to do, sleep will come. He's doing fine though, don't worry.

Ashin Varain, I remember hearing about her. Sadly, I have no yet had the chance to meet her but hopefully that day would come. It sounds like a wonderful bond you to have. We've never really talked about this but that is how your father I first connected as well. He was my first student. A bond between a trainer and their student is a powerful but of course, love is certainly above it. I know Allya would disagree but she was a Jedi. It's human to love, darling girl. So as long as there's that, you know you have my blessing.

I do how to complain though. It's nice that you claimed Ashin, however, you know I would have loved to have performed the ceremony. We'll have to do that when we see each other. It's a mother's prerogative, after all.

As far as your little Mustafar adventure, choose your battles. If you are sure you can survive, good luck. However, never run into battle without thinking about it. That is how we lost many good members of this family, when the Nightsisters attacked. So many of us rushed without thinking, thought only of war and didn't think our actions properly. We were attacked but it haunts me every day what we could have done differently, if some of the ones that we lost could be saved. I still haven't found the answer. Keep yours and you mate safe.

Other than Aston home, the clan is doing fine. It's just the three of us now, your sister Kytarra keeps to her ways, Adel'aide and Arik have their little world and I don't see much of others. But I know in my heart they're alright. Remember, you can just reach out and feel everyone. You'll know everyone is fine. I do that often. I need to know everyone is alright so I can focus on here and the now. We're still protected by the Mandalorians though they stay out of our way as promised. It's mostly just the clans to themselves. The union from before fell part but thee could be something started. Perhaps we'll have better luck this time. And maybe, the Witches and the Nightsistes will finally understand we all belong here together. Perhaps then you'll be able to come home. I'd really like that.

Jaa’mae, hi’ja. No matter what. Always remember that.

Nitiwa Ma'dri

(Jaa’mae, hi’ja - I love you, my daughter
Nitiwa Ma'dri - Your Mother)