Lay it on me

[Sanya Val Lerium]

I don't care if im been viewed as paranoid or what but I'm going to say something now. This is the one chance I'm giving people to be 110% honest, I know I'm not favored by many of you. I know a few of you hate my guts. End of the day I can't please you all. Nor do I want to please everyone. I know I'm not the best writer and I can take things out of perportion sometimes. I know I have also said something bad about another writer when I was venting. But I apologized for that and Spencer can confirm that.

This is your opportunity to not hold back and tell me straight. You even have my permission to be as mean as possible. Mostly I'd rather you tell me to my face.

If you don't feel comfortable saying what you have to say publicly the my pm is open. (This thread even applies to site staff on their opinion.)

 

[Garza]

This thread even applies to site staff on their opinion.

As far as I am aware, Staff is not allowed to "Bash" or "Roast" another member of the site. For many reasons. I am sure they take it kindly to you offering, but I doubt they will take you up on the offer.

If staff posts about you being a good writer, then that's fine, but as far as I can tell, and from the lack of seeing it on the board, the Staff are not allowed to belittle someone. Its rude to have another member do it, but to have the leaders, admins, or people who are looked up to bashing someone? It only makes the situation worse.

 

[Isamu Baelor]

I would assume that any honest replies would end with the poster getting warned, or banned.

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

[member="Nick Imura"] by staff I implied rpj's FJ and CJ's too

 

[Raachwaroo]

I was at Demon's Gate. Didn't see too many things wrong, only thing that really stuck out was some spell checking. Other than that you're fine from what i've seen baby grill.

[member="Sanya Val Swift"]

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

[member="Raachwaroo"] I can't spell and a phone poster

 

[Garza]

I would assume that any honest replies would end with the poster getting warned, or banned.

Nick Imura by staff I implied rpj's FJ and CJ's too

[member="Sanya Val Swift"]

 

[Vazela]

[member="Sanya Val Swift"]

I'm going to be frank. I don't like your character. I don't like your character because of you as a person out of character or anything personal to you. I happen to think that your factory and codex submissions are interesting and normally layered out, which is why I believe you've fulfilled the position of a factory judge in the past. I'll explain why I don't like Sanya as a character now.

To put it simply, Sanya Val Swift has nothing to do with Star Wars. Sure, she has been responsible for the creation of Star Destroyers; she wields the lightsaber of Darth Revan, who I am sure you're a big fan of out of character; and you have got her up to the position of a Jedi Master, so my aforementioned point wouldn't make sense to you at first. But I would like you to think about this for a moment.

Sanya Val Swift is a Jedi Master who builds weapons, war ships and generates tons of wealth, that she then goes onto spend a whopping 56 billion credits on the recovery of a lightsaber, that in turn bankrupts an entire world for the foreseeable future, in a Galaxy that is currently in an era coming from a Four Hundred Year Darkness that had a virus that reduced entire economies to it's knees; people who died due to starvation, disease and criminal esque actions brought on by a lack of law and order; and where tons of history was lost. She then joins a faction that was begun by a Sith Lord (the Black Rose) and uses that as a means to collect Phrik and other rare materials, as well as an excuse to zoom around in war ships 1000m+ in length.

That's what I know about Sanya, so maybe I am missing something, but to me, based on your aforementioned actions, she doesn't display any characteristics nor the tenants required of a Jedi Master. She is borderline a Sith Lord. She isn't wise or knowledgeable, at least in my opinion. I'm going to list some suggestions, to try and help you going forwards:

- Find a reason why Sanya is generating wealth, beyond the means of profit or status. For example, another Jedi Master on this board- Taeli Raaf- uses the credits she generates from the many businesses she is involved in to track down rare and powerful weapons, such as the recent acquirement of Freedon Nadd's Holocron, so as to keep it safe and away from other Sith Lords.

Taeli's money is used for good intentions. We haven't seen that from Sanya.

- Calm down. You take things way too personally. I don't really know what else to add here.

 

[Raachwaroo]

[member="Raachwaroo"] I can't spell and a phone poster

I told you my shtick and you just shot it down? No real explanation? C'mon man you asked for some criticism don't do that. That ruins any improvement that could happen.


[member="Sanya Val Swift"]

 

[Darth Veles]

You want it, you’ll get it. And I had 5 beers too after a day of work, so this is not racist or whatever.

First off, your writing. I won’t criticize it, you know about it,I care about the content more than the form, so moving on. As a person, I hate you as much as I hate everyone, so you’re cool there as well! I don’t think I have anything against you, really.

It started off pretty good with your character as an average Padawan. She was a cool Jedi, yes. And then suddenly all that followed. She makes weapons, gets turned into a catgirl, fights against Sith despite working with tons of Sith, butchers a planet’s entire population by turning them into Sithspawn to “free” them, then suddenly shifts into a protector of the planet who blames others of killing civilians although she did even worse to them… it is inconsistent. That is one of your writing’s biggest problems. Your character’s a Jedi, she’s a catgirl sithspawn a moment later, then she is a Jedi Master who has no trouble with forcibly infecting innocents while claiming she protects them… IDK. And I feel your posts lack self-awareness. Everyone who gets turned into a lesbo catgirl is very happy about the change, every NPC thanks Sanya for being such a good ruler. Why?

We allhave our fetishes, but focusing a faction around it is silly, especially if said faction promised to be an alternative to the 0S, to follow a different Sith path. Well, I have seen strange things that claimed to be proper ways of the Sith… but turning it into an empire of lesbian feminazi catgirls? Just what the f*ck? Just how twisted does one’s brain have to be? Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!! That has nothing to do with Sith no matter what you think. How did that even happen?!?! This was supposed to be a splinter faction of the One Sith, play that cool civil war plot or something. False advertisement. I blame the BR’s fail on Venefica, though. They claim to be Sith yet the official policy is to fight Sith and the BR hates Sith and distances from Sith despite the fact most of the members are Sith themselves, no sense it makes no sense why oh why

But it is dead now lol

Why the Croa, anyway? Why are they so crucial to you? Would a normal human or any other canon SW race not work?

I would also like to thank the admins for locking this thread and giving me a juicy banana as well as deleting this terrible post. I am Stalin and Hitler combined. I cannot care, as I have moved to higher spheres of existence, your power cannot touch me.

 

[Lord Ajihad]

I hate you as much as I hate everyone

[member="Sanya Val Swift"]

It's true, he does hate everyone

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

[member="Lord Ajihad"] I know he hates cats especially. Although I never knew why.

 

[Kadala Kotyc]

I think I should start with some gifs, as they often manage to capture my feelings on things. Explanations will be included within spoilers.

Revan's Mask, and the debacle that the thread was, for the whole bit I was able to follow before giving up on existence:

Spoiler

I believe I already made my opinion clear in the OOC thread. The idea of walking into a PVP thread and saying you don't want to do any PVP is kinda ridiculous. The only reason I'm saying 'kinda' is to feign a certain level of politeness. Regardless of how that thread is currently doing (which I wouldn't know, since it hurt my head too much to continue reading), your conduct within the starting stages was, well, rather off-putting.

Immediately bringing in a fleet that was, what, 2.5 times the size of your attackers' one in the Phrik thread?

Spoiler: Gif in here to avoid potential lag

Spoiler

While I understand that at least some edits have been made, I was rather surprised by the... ahem, large size of your initial reaction. You brought a very large fleet in, including a ship that is supposed to be used for major faction things only (due to the ability for a minor faction to abuse a vessel that is, you know, around 3000 freaking meters long), to defend a single planet. I get the fact that you want to protect your world, but I like to see a bit more... balance and realistic nature to things. It just seemed like overkill to me, really.

Sekalus and the Croa in general:

Spoiler

Spoiler

Despite being drunk, I think [member="Darth Veles"] summed up my thoughts fairly well, for the most part. Minus the 'feminazi' thing- I have a serious hate for that term. Since he summed up the rest of my endless suffering, I think I'll end this here.

Your spelling + whatnot:
No gifs needed. Honestly, this is the part that I have the least amount of issue with. Not good at spelling? Alright, neither am I. I'm definitely better than I used to be, of course, but there are still plenty of times where I reword an entire sentence just so I don't have to use a word I can't, for the life of me, spell correctly. So it's safe to say that I 'feel you' on that part. However- yes, I am bringing in the dreaded 'however'- I would seriously suggest trying your hardest to improve. Work on it, don't just lay down and let your weaknesses run you over. Seize hold of your writing! Grab it by its throat, lift it up, and do your damnedest to get better. This goes for more than just spelling. Really, it goes for any part of your writing that you think, or know, you don't excel in.

Writing is an art, and like Leonardo da Vinci once said, "art is never finished, only abandoned".

 

[Zeradias Mant]

I share the same feelings as those who've posted above me.

That being said though, let me be the first to commend you for welcoming actual criticism. It may not be agreeable, but it's necessary. It's not easy hearing others' gripes, but if you can be receptive to it, you'll only improve as a writer - and I truly hope to see you respond positively to this criticism and use it to improve yourself as a writer and also your characters through that!

 

[Danger Arceneau]

A) If you are phone posting, I've found that Google docs app helps out. It has a spellchecker automatically in it and it is a platform you can go from mobile, to desktop, to laptop very easily and it saves your info. Then when you are ready, simply copy and paste it over to post - I do that all the time at work. My process is the following:

1. Type up my post on google docs.
2. Copy paste from the mobile app into the forum.
3. ???
4. Profit and post!

B ) Sometimes, it is just best to walk away if you feel something on the board is irking you. Take a breather. I've learned that it is best to just walk away and let things cool down before I come back to talk to people.

C) If you are having trouble with Sekalus and phrik, how about just doing some mining visas? Def take a leaf from the Mandalorian Empire; it has seemed to work well for them. Maybe if you just presell some for people to freely come over and mine phrik instead of raiding would make things work out a lot smoother for you. That way, you don't have to be concerned about every mining thread on Sekalus. It is unfortunate that the planet has a restricted material, but having it also flags it as a potential place to go to get phrik -- all the more now that it is neutral. Maybe if you invite people in, they would be more apt to collaborate rather than instigate?

D) I think more people would be more willing to work with you if you are willing to compromise. It tends to be a give and take in things. Just be honest and see where parties can come to a resolution.

Since this is a writer feedback, I won't go into the characters.

Honestly, just write what makes you happy. The only thing is that ic actions come with ic consequences. Being able to take a step back, and try to see how ones actions may be perceived by others in a different angle helps.

This place is a place to relax and have fun after all.

 

[Tefka]

I get the impression you know how you're viewed.

The question is if you posted this thread to validate it or because you want to improve your image.

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

C) If you are having trouble with Sekalus and phrik, how about just doing some mining visas? Def take a leaf from the Mandalorian Empire; it has seemed to work well for them. Maybe if you just presell some for people to freely come over and mine phrik instead of raiding would make things work out a lot smoother for you. That way, you don't have to be concerned about every mining thread on Sekalus. It is unfortunate that the planet has a restricted material, but having it also flags it as a potential place to go to get phrik -- all the more now that it is neutral. Maybe if you invite people in, they would be more apt to collaborate rather than instigate?

I put phrik on the world for people to actually come along and explore the world that I've put effort into building up. (Call it a pet project) I'm aware @solan char dose the same with kesh. But it dose get me down when people do come along and go 'let's bombard this. Slaughter hundreds of people here and there.' As a character Sanya has an obligation to do everything she can to protect them from such events.

Honestly if people had a public thread where they where going to just simply mine or even go to the mining villages to buy the material I'd be fine with that. I might bring in a char to be noisy or even help out. That is my reason for phrik there. Also it is a good recourse to have for a company trying to get contracts.

Anyway if you have opinions of the chars too then shoot.

It's not easy hearing others' gripes

I can take a puch when it's a honest one. I like things out in the open without a sugar coating. (Simply because I'm not aloud to much sugar)

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

[member="Tefka"] it's because I'd rather have people be honest to me and in a way it helps me understand why they feel that way.

So far I've had some good advice and I'm thinking on what they have said. Like my char hasn't had a stable story. At first I had a plan for this char and those plans miserably failed so I kinda decided kark a story line and be free. But the other month I actually asked Spencer advice on where to take Sanya next. She's achieved many feats and yet I want more because she's my favorite char.

 

[Alkor Centaris]

[member="Sanya Val Swift"]

You take the good with the bad in any scenario. If the Sith decide to come calling, you should always expect there to be some kind of fight or for people to be losing their lives. That said, Alderaan and Arkania are both closer to Sith space, so I'm not sure why they flew all the way out to the Outer Rim and further for Phrik. Not my kind of move. Of course, it's turning into a great story, and if you can accept the attack and the losses, it can turn into massive character development and a reason for you to fight, and to do more good for the Republic.

Getting upset about it won't make anything better, and it certainly won't change what happened. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches and sift through the dirt to find diamonds.

Think about it.

 

[Sanya Val Lerium]

[member="Alkor Centaris"]

That said, Alderaan and Arkania are both closer to Sith space, so I'm not sure why they flew all the way out to the Outer Rim and further for Phrik.

And kamakazing an extremely expensive ship. Although I did feel the need to prevent the original target because luss city contains a good 70% of the population. If that happened then it would be close to genocide and immediately makes the croa an endangored spieces before it's even approved. So now I'm feeling the urge to rectify that and begin to sub many locations for new cities, towns and other setelments. (Also wanting to draw out maps for the day it dose get dominioned and have a rebellion on and add them into the submission for the planet.)

So yes to me the thread is a horror show for me but at the same time it is making me want to sort out the story I have for the world and add to it.