Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Kyr'am Manor

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Kylo Kyr'am

Clan Kyr'am Alor'ad/Grim legion Leader
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* Intent: Kylo Kyr'am's personal manner

* Image Credit: House
* Gym
* Shooting Range
* Indoor Dojo
* Outdoor Dojo
* Movie Theater
* Grand Kitchen
* Armory
* Library
* Bar
* Indoor Pool
* Outdoor Pool
* Master Bedroom


* Canon: N/A

* Links: N/A

SETTING INFORMATION
* Structure Name: Kyr'am Manor

* Classification: A mansion

* Location: Kyrayc


* Affiliation: Kylo Kyr'am

* Accessibility: The manor is restricted from public access, it is hidden just on the outskirts of the Kyrayc Jungle

* Description: From a distance the place looks old, creepy, and massive, it all includes 11 bedroom, 8 bath, basement, attic, gym, shooting range, combat dojo, movie theater, grand chef kitchen, armory, library, war room, meeting room, bar/cantina, indoor and outdoor pools and hot tubs, a obstacle course for training purposes, and a outdoor combat dojo.


POINTS OF INTEREST

\ GYM /
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A personal Gym Kylo uses to keep in shape constantly, it includes various equipment for weight lifting, sit ups, pull ups, cardio, boxing, yoga, and as well as various others to keep Kylo fit.


\ SHOOTING RANGE /
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The personal shooting range for Kylo to practice his firearm skills

\ COMBAT DOJOS /
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The two personal combat Dojos of Kylo to practice his various combat training styles and hone on his combat skills.

\ MOVIE THEATER /
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A personal home theater where Kylo can entertain guests, watch the holonews, catch a holo movie and relax.

\ GRAND CHEF KITCHEN /
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A master kitchen set up for Kylo to cook meals, as a passion of Kylo's is indeed cooking. It included a dining room, everything needed to cook gourmet meals, and a lounge area with a holo screen.

\ ARMORY /
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The Armory contains hundreds of weapons that Kylo's company produces as well as various other weapons Kylo has collected over the years. If a war were to ever strike Kyrayc, Kylo has enough weapons stored to arm an average size military.

\ LIBRARY /
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Kylo's personal library which hundreds of books on various things that are within the galaxy. Another passion of Kylo's is reading, meaning he spends a lot of time in this room.

\ BAR /
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The bar was a great place to lounge about and have a good time including a pool table, holocreen, couches, a bar with over 200 types of Drinks, was a really great place to entertain and have a good time.


\ SWIMMING POOLS /
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The two swimming pools and hot tubs are great places to relax, go for a swim, and just swim laps. The outdoor pool comes with a lounge and fireplace.

\ MASTER BEDROOM /
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The private bedroom of Kylo Kyr'am, comes with a holoscreen, private balcony overlooking the estate property, a huge washroom with a shower big enough for 5. The bedroom even has a fireplace.



SECURITY
Rating: Average
The entire property is secured with security cameras and guarded by The Grim Legion Mortem Squad


HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Before the Planet's destruction this place was a manor of a wealthy business man. After it's destruction it became abandoned and nature begin reclaiming it. Kylo discovered it and begin rebuilding and restoring the property. When finished the property had 11 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, a basement, attic, gym, shooting range, combat dojo, movie theater, grand chef kitchen, armory, library, war room, meeting room, bar/cantina, indoor and outdoor pools and hot tubs, a obstacle course for training purposes, and a outdoor combat dojo. Kylo does not spend much time here, but when he does, he's not to be bothered.
 
[member="Kylo Kyr'am"]

We have a problem with most of these sources you've stated for your images. Many of them are pinterest-like sites that take content from other places (the first one even states so in its disclaimer). Some of them even list the original source. I'm going to have to ask you to re-do this list and either find proper sources or change/remove the images.

Additionally, your entire points of interest section needs work. The point of them is not just to mention they exist, but to actually describe them. What you've written here is less than bare bones.The point of a submission is to provide rich and detailed information, there is no need to create a submission just to mention that a house as a kitchen in it, for example. I have seen your IC posts and I know for a fact that you can provide more immersion and quality than what can be found in the current version of the submission. If you require guiding questions I will be happy to provide them for each section, but either way, the verbiage will have to be done.

Same for the historical information.


I am moving this submission to Pre-Codex for it to be worked on. Please tag [member="Allyson Locke"] or [member="Jyoti Nooran"] once you are finished to move it back to judging.
 
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