Codex Denied Kricelos

[Okkeus Dainlei]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: To create a planet made of Kyber Crystal that Younglings and Jedi can use in future RPs.
• Image Credit: (x)
• Canon: N/A
• Permissions: N/A
• Links: N/A

GENERAL INFORMATION

• Planet Name: Kricelos (Cry-cell-os)
• Demonym: Kricelions
• Region: Outer Rim Territories
• System Name: This planet is not part of any system. It is a Rogue Planet.
• System Features: There is no other planets/moons/asteroids orbiting Kricelos. The nearest ones are over a million miles away
  • There is no rotation of the planet. It is stationary.
  • The planet does not orbit any star, sun, or planet. It sits complete still.
  • There is no night, and no day. This is caused by the Nexus. Since the planet is stationary, the Nexus creates its own light. The planet's light is like a sunset; there is still light in the sky, but it is somewhat dark. It is a spacial anomaly.
• Location: The nearest planets to Kricelos are Dosuun and Skism, even though these planets are around a one and a half million miles from Kricelos.

(Would not like to add to the Chaos Map at this point in time.)

• Major Imports: Food, Building Material (ex. Wood and Stone), Tools and Machinery (Excavating Jedi Temple), and droids
• Major Exports: Kyber Crystals
• Unexploited Resources: Gold, Iron, Aluminum, Platinum and located near the planet's core.

GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION

• Gravity: Standard
• Climate: The perfect temperature. Not too warm, not too cold. No exact measurement (explained later.)
• Primary Terrain: Planet is covered in small hills and has around 10 explored lakes. The terrain is covered in Ranite. The Ranite goes about five feet deep, then a layer of Kyberite starts. The layer of Kyberite is iced in with stones and metal, making it harder to find. A few veins of Kyberite can be found on the surface of the planet.
  • The few lakes on this planet have Ranite layering the bottom, just like the serface. However, these lakes have clean drinking water that is not affected in any way Ranite.
  • There is no vegetation on this planet. With no soil to plant vegetation into, nothing could survive. This is also why there is no Fauna on Kricelos.
  • Inside of the ancient Jedi Temple is a very large Kyber Crystal that is around one hundred feet tall. No one know why it is so big or why there is only one of it, but many believe that is causes the nexus around the planet (it doesn't.)
• Atmosphere: Type I

LOCATION INFORMATION

• Capital City: This planet does not currently have any permanent residence.
• Planetary Features: Many small ruins or small villages
• Major Locations: A VERY destroyed Jedi Temple. Built around 134 ABY, the ancient Jedi that lived here built this temple to act as a meet up point for other Jedi on the surrounding planets. This is also where Knighting Ceremonies took place. A large Kyber Crystal is located inside. Many strip mines can be found where previous Jedi Padawans ventured into to find their Kyber Crystals.
• Force Nexus: Neutral. Although only Jedi are currently on this planet, Sith are still able to come and get a Kyber Crystals as they please.
  Intent: The force nexus was put at Neutral so any Force wielders can come here. It doesn't matter if they are a Jedi, Sith, or Grey, as long as they have the Force within them, they can come.
• Nexus Name: N/A
• Nexus Alignment: Neutral
• Size: Planetary
• Strength: Strong. As mentioned previously, the Nexus does not care what side of the force you believe in, as long as you are connected to it. A major event involving tens of thousands of Jedi or Sith would be required to sway it one way or another.
• Accessibility: Easy to find, since it is planetary.
• Effects: The Nexus does not affect force-wielders, but it does affect nonforce-wielders. Those foolish enough to try and land on the planet with no connection to the force will be given mind-numbing headaches, severe soreness in the bones, and organ failure. This Nexus does not take kindly to nonforce-wielders, and will do everything it can to keep them off the planet. The Nexus causes severe discomfort to people not connected to the force. If they stay long enough, they might even die.
  • Each person's experience on this planet is different. If you are used to cold temperatures, the planet will feel cooler to you, with more wind. If you are used to muggy environments, you will start to feel the moisture in the air. It all depends on the person. This is caused by the Nexus trying to make its inhabitants feel like they belong here, and that it is a safe place.
  • Only people with a baseline amount of 5,000 Midi-Chlorians are able to enter the planet. This is the Nexus's way of keeping regular people off the planet. By doing this, regular people can't come onto Kricelos to use the Kyber Crystals as resources for any weapons or technology.

POPULATION

• Native Species: No native species.
• Immigrated Species: No "specific" immigrant species. All "immigrants" are force weilders from millions of different species.
• Population: Insignifigant
• Demographics: No exact species count, as stated above.
• Primary Languages: N/A
• Culture: All current inhabitants believe in the Force, so that is their religion.
• Government: The Jedi on the planet follow a mix of a democracy and and monarchy. If there is a master or grandmaster on the planet, they are automatically put in charge. But, they listen to their fellow Jedi on how to run things.
• Affiliation: Order Of The Silver Jedi
• Wealth: Low. The Jedi and Sith take the Kyber Crystals off of this planet for their personal gain, not to sell. No money needs to be made on this, planet since all of the resources come from personal sources.
• Stability: Low for inhabitants, High for outsiders. Current inhabitants rarely have conflicts, usually between Jedi and Sith. These fights are very rare, as those two are mainly not near each other at all. High risk for outsiders if you are not connected to the force, becuase you could possibly die from the nexus.
• Freedom & Oppression: The is a free planet. The Jedi and Sith that come and go on the planet never have "territory" fights, only skirmishes because they have different views of the Force.

MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY

• Military: Very much demilitarized. If an aerial attack were to happen, there is no way to defend. But if a ground attack were to happen, the residences could very much defend since all of them have lightsabers and are skilled fighters.
• Technology: Galactic Standard

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
This planet was discovered by a group of Jedi looking for a planet to build a temple on. When they landed on the planet, they saw that the ground was covered in Kyber crystals, almost like it was dirt. Once the group of Jedi arrived, they saw no supplies to build with. They left the planet to go and find some basic materials to build with eg. Wood, stone, brick. After gathering these supplies, they made the flight back and began building the village. This planet was settled into around 125 ABY. With the plentiful amount of Kyber, these Jedi stayed in hopes to bring future Jedi here and train them, then build their own lightsaber all on the same planet. It was like a Jedi sanctuary. But with no natural resources, the group of Jedi built a very unique Jedi Temple that went straight into the ground. In the hole of a Jedi temple, outlets were dug out to create training halls. It was around 160 ABY when the first Sith arrived on the planet. It was a group of two, a master and an apprentice. A battle broke out between the two Sith and around thirty Jedi. The Jedi won with no casualties, but killed both of the Sith. This made them realize they need to get more defense in their village and at the temple in case more Sith came.

The Jedi first realized the planet had a Nexus around 200 ABY. One day a light starfighter came tumbling out of the sky. The pilot landed on the planet. He opened up his cockpit to see the Jedi surrounding him. Suddenly, the man seemed to turn to mush. The Nexus had killed him since he had no connection to the force. This made it so the Jedi are very weary about who they take to this planet.

Kricelos is the only know planet with the time special anomaly. There is no day/night cycle on the planet, with no star around to provide light, the nexus "created" this day/night mixture to provide lighting. With no star also measn no seasons.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Srina Talon Zak Dymo Scherezade deWinter if there is nothing I need to change, this is ready to be moved to live judging

 

[Zak Dymo]

Okkeus Dainlei

Under review.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Updated spelling errors

 

[Zak Dymo]

Okkeus Dainlei

My apologies for your wait. I wanted to read through this a few times and then take my time in crafting the questions that I have for you. As you may already be aware, planets go through a two level review process. After I've finished my review, you'll then have a second review with an Administrator.

1. Intent/Terrain
To start, I'd like to open a dialogue and ask some questions that I have, the answers to which I think will help me in finishing my review. This is intended to generate a dialogue between us, so that I can better understand your concept here.

Intent: To create a planet made of Kyber Crystal that Younglings and Jedi can use in future RPs.

Unexploited Resources: Gold and Iron located near the planet's core.

Primary Terrain: Planet is covered in small hills and has around 10 explored lakes.

From the above, I'd deduce two things (please tell me if either is incorrect)

1. The planet has a metal core.
2. The planet has water on it.

In the intent statement, you use the phrase "To create a planet made of Kyber Crystal." What did you mean by "made of," exactly? Is the planet literally composed of crystalline structures (a giant kyber crystal rounded by its own gravity, perhaps)? If yes, then how is there an atmosphere? You mention hills and lakes, so is there a sediment or top soil? Is there vegetation? In the alternative, is this merely a terrestrial planet on which kyber crystals appear (such as Ilum or Ossus)?

2. Missing Template Fields.

Region: Outer Rim Territories
System Features: There is no rotation of the planet. It is stationary. There is no night, and no day. The planet's light is like a sunset; there is still light in the sky, but it is mainly dark.

As per the template, System Name should follow Region and precede System Features.

System Name: [ Example: Abrion, Herrik. ]​

​

Image Credit: (x)
Canon: N/A
Permissions: N/A

As per the template, Links should follow after Permissions.

Links: [ Provide links to any relevant threads, characters, companies, locations, etc here. Canon or otherwise. Especially obscure references, or events important to the submission.]​

3. System Features

System Features: There is no rotation of the planet. It is stationary. There is no night, and no day. The planet's light is like a sunset; there is still light in the sky, but it is mainly dark.

This describes only the planet, it provides no detail on any astrological objects that share a common orbit or star system with Kricelos. At the same time, I'm confused how a tidally locked, stationary orbit would not result in a day/night side. That gives me the impression that this planet isn't in a star system. Is this a rogue planet?

Please note what the template is looking for here: System Features: [ Here you may list suns, moons, other planets, important asteroid belts, spatial anomalies, or other features of the star system. You may also include orbital position, rotational period (length of day), and orbital period (days in a year) in this section. if you have submitted Astronomical Objects for this system, you may link them here, and if you would like to expand on the system in more detail, you may use that template to do it at your leisure. ]

4. Location

Location: Not adding to map

Note the question that the template is asking here: Location: [ This can be a screenshot of the hex from the map with a marker, or you can say that it is located "in X planet's hex" and give a general description of positioning. If you intend to add this planet to the Chaos Map please review the rules thoroughly.]

The question is: Where on the galactic map is this planet located? You mentioned that it was in the Outer Rim Territories region, but that's a very vast area of space. What are its closest neighbors? Is anything near it? Whether you submit it to the map or not is immaterial to the fundamental question of "where is it?"

5. Incorrect Template Field (Capital City)

Capital Name: This planet does not currently have any permanent residence.

As per the template, this field is correctly titled Capital City, not Capital Name.

6. Remove Template Instruction Language

Force Nexus (Optional): Neutral. Although only Jedi are currently on this planet, Sith are still able to come and get a Kyber Crystal.
Intent: The force nexus was put at Neutral so any Force weilder can come here. It doesn't matter if they are a Jedi, Sith, or Grey, as long as they have the Force within them, they can come.

The words (Optional) should be removed here. That's part of the template instructions and not meant to be part of the final submission.

7. Final Thoughts/Questions For This Post
I'm going to circle back to the Intent here.

Intent: To create a planet made of Kyber Crystal that Younglings and Jedi can use in future RPs.

From all of the above, here is what I've garnered. Please let me know if any of these perceptions are incorrect:

1. The goal in creating this submission is to provide a location for lightsaber crystal related roleplay stories.
2. There are no cities or major locales on this planet.
3. There are no stores, business, or economic activity of any kind on this planet.
4. The submission is designed so that Non Force Users cannot come here (I have more questions on that later).

I posit those four assumptions to ask this: Do you envision this submission being used for anything other than lightsaber crystal related stories?

Those are my thoughts and I look forward to yours in reply. This is a fascinating concept, though I fear I do not yet fully understand your vision for it. I'm hopeful we can bat questions such as these back and forth so that not only do I understand your concept better, but the end result will be a planet submission that the community can draw inspiration from.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Zak Dymo now reading back through my submission and your questions, I can see how I left some things misleading or unanswered. Give me some time and I will revise this and get back to you.

 

[Zak Dymo]

Okkeus Dainlei

Awesome. Please tag me when you're ready.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Zak Dymo I have updated and rewritten most of the submission to fix the mistakes and flesh out ideas.

To your question, I am creating this planet as yes, a place for Jedi to get their Kyber Crystals, but also as a research planet for Jedi to understand the mysteries of this planet. Also I hope to RP with some other Jedi one day to rebuild the temple for useage.

 

[Zak Dymo]

Okkeus Dainlei

Thank you for those edits. I think those help me to envision this better.

1. System Name

System Features: There is no other planets/moons/asteroids orbiting Kricelos. The nearest ones are over a million miles away. There is no rotation of the planet. It is stationary. There is no night, and no day. The planet's light is like a sunset; there is still light in the sky, but it is mainly dark. It is a spacing anomaly.
System Name: This planet is not part of any system. It is a Rogue Planet.

As I noted in my original review, System Name goes after Region, but should appear before System Features. So you should move that up.

2. Primary Terrain

Primary Terrain: Planet is covered in small hills and has around 10 explored lakes. The terrain is covered in Kyber Crystals. As dirt were to cover our planet, Kyber Crystals covers Kricelos's. For paths and small settlements to be made on this planet, the Kyber Crystals had to be crushed down into very small shards and pieces to make flat surfaces. Otherwise the entire planet is just Kyber Crystals sticking out of the ground. The layering of Kyber goes around twenty feet deep, then after that it is just stone mixed in with other metals.

Reviewing the lore on kyber crystals, there are several elements that seem out of step with both the current canon and Legends lore regarding them. In both cases, the creation or manifestation of natural kyber crystals is described as a rare occerence in the galaxy -- hence why they are prized so much (and used a plot device as such in both Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and Star Wars: The Clone Wars). So the idea of a planet literally covered in kyber crystals as plentiful as grains of sand on a beach is contrary to everything established about these crystals. Kyber crystals are also said to be found in veins of kyberite, hence why they are associated with caves.

I say that in order to preface this, have you considered having the surface covered with Ranite (false kyber) crystal shards? And then have veins of kyberite under the surface of the planet? That would put this in line with the existing lore on kyber crystals while keeping the thematic elements of the submission intact, I believe.

3. Force Nexus

Force Nexus: Neutral. Although only Jedi are currently on this planet, Sith are still able to come and get a Kyber Crystals as they please.
Intent: The force nexus was put at Neutral so any Force weilder can come here. It doesn't matter if they are a Jedi, Sith, or Grey, as long as they have the Force within them, they can come.
Nexus Name: N/A
Nexus Alignment: Neutral
Size: Planetary
Strength: Strong. As mentioned previously, the Nexus does not care what side of the force you believe in, as long as you are connected to it. A major event involving hundreds if not THOUSANDS of Jedi or Sith would be required to sway it one way or another.
Accessibility: Easy to find, since it is planetary.
Effects: The Nexus does not affect force-weilders, but it does affect nonforce-weilders. Those foolish enough to try and land on the planet with no connection to the force will be given mind-numbing headaches, severe soreness in the bones, and organ failure. This Nexus does not take kindly to nonforce-weilders, and will do everything it can to keep them off the planet. If someone who is not connected to the force stays on the planet for too long, they will die.

A few questions here.

To start, throughout most of this section, your terminology deals with connection to the Force (yellow highlights above), but then the effect adds the term "Force wielder" (spelling error there, btw, in case you want to fix that). These two concepts are not entirely synonymous. According to Wookieepedia, all living things are connected to the Force. This includes Non-Force Sensitives or Non-Force Users (of note, in Clone Wars, Yoda remarks that the clones all look different when viewed through the Force, meaning the Force perceives them as unique individuals). The exception to this is someone or something that is Force Dead, which is to be cut off completely from the Force.

So, I'm confused on what this is doing exactly. Does it only effect people who are Force Dead? Or is there a baseline level of Force Sensitivity required by the planet? If the latter, is there any explanation why the Force would attack someone connected to it?

I also note this in the History section:

Each person's experience on this planet is different. If you are used to cold temperatures, the planet will feel cooler to you, with more wind. If you are used to muggy environments, you will start to feel the moisture in the air. It all depends on the person.

This sounds like the Force power of Tapas, and I'm assuming it a result of the Force. As such, this should also be included in the Nexus effect.

I think once those points are addressed, you'll be ready for the second level review. Please let me know if you have any questions. Otherwise, tag me when you have completed any edits.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Zak Dymo I took your idea of using Ranite as the surface layer to make the planet more reasonable. This also helps add to the in ground Jedi Temple, where the Younglings had to mine for their Kyber Crystals.

Also, it tried clearing up the temperature thing more. It is not like Tapas. I'm trying to say it feels like a different planet to everyone. So that you were from Tatooine and I was from Hoth. While on Kricelos, you will feel the warmer temperature like Tatooine since you are used to it and grew up with it. Since I grew up on Hoth, Kricelos will have cooler air for me since I am used to that. Does that makes sense?

 

[Zak Dymo]

Also, it ride clearing up the temperature thing more. It is not like Tapas. I'm trying to say it feels like a different planet to everyone. So that you were from Tatooine and I was from Hoth. While on Kricelos, you will feel the warmer temperature like Tatooine since you are used to it and grew up with it. Since I grew up on Hoth, Kricelos will have cooler air for me since I am used to that. Does that makes sense?

I understand that that is the effect, but what is the cause generating that effect? In terms of practical physics, the physical temperature of any particular should be X degrees (dry bulb) and then the "feels like" temperature adjusted for perceptions of humidity and wind if this is a natural world. Some planets have artificially controlled weather.

What is the case here? Is this perception of varying temperatures by individual due to the natural planetary physics? By some artificial construct or regulation? Or is the Force creating this effect?

If its the latter, that should be accounted for in the submission. If its either of the former, that should also be detailed and further fleshed out.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Zak Dymo

"This is caused by the Nexus trying to make its inhabitants feel like they belong here, and that it is a safe place."

I am adding the weather portion to the Nexus's abilities to keep it somewhat simplified.

Also, I forgot to mention that I added the baseline amount of Midi-Chlorians required to enter the planet is 5,000, which according to the Wookiepedia link, is the around the lowest a Jedi can have.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Zak Dymo update the submission to flesh out the ideas more

 

[Zak Dymo]

Okkeus Dainlei

I, again, apologize for your wait. This past week didn't give me adequate time to get back to this. Having read back through it again, I both like and appreciate the changes that you have made thus far and now simply want to focus on the Force Nexus.

Effects: The Nexus does not affect force-weilders, but it does affect nonforce-weilders. Those foolish enough to try and land on the planet with no connection to the force will be given mind-numbing headaches, severe soreness in the bones, and organ failure. This Nexus does not take kindly to nonforce-weilders, and will do everything it can to keep them off the planet. If someone who is not connected to the force stays on the planet for too long, they will die.

• Each person's experience on this planet is different. If you are used to cold temperatures, the planet will feel cooler to you, with more wind. If you are used to muggy environments, you will start to feel the moisture in the air. It all depends on the person. This is caused by the Nexus trying to make its inhabitants feel like they belong here, and that it is a safe place.
• Only people with a baseline amount of 5,000 Midi-Chlorians are able to enter the planet. This is the Nexus's way of keeping regular people off the planet. By doing this, regular people can't come onto Kricelos to use the Kyber Crystals as resources for any weapons or technology.

1. Spelling
A minor thing, but the yellow highlights a word that should be corrected before this is approved. The correct spelling is wielders.

2. Toning Down Negative Effect
As per the Roleplay Rules "You may not kill another character without that character's permission." This is the basis for the Codex Rule that states "Language that could be interpreted to force another player to do something they do not wish for their character is prohibited." (General Submission Guidelines). Giving example of possible negative effects is fine, but as is this gives a very definitive account for an outcome for someone else's character, which is what we want to avoid. This could be satisfied as easily as changing the word "will" to "may" I think. But, over to you for however you want to tackle that.

Those are my thoughts. Please tag me when you have completed any edits.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Zak Dymo i have fixed the spelling errors and I have also changed up the wording a little bit. Now, people have "severe discomfort" and they could possibly die if they stayed too long. Thanks again for taking your time and giving your suggestions on how to make this planet better.

 

[Zak Dymo]

Okkeus Dainlei

I believe that addresses all of my points. Approved by me.

Srina Talon

 

[Srina Talon]

Okkeus Dainlei

Greetings! I'll be handling your secondary. It's a very interesting idea, but, there's a lot to go over. I'll get started.

1.) System Features: It's fine if the planet is stationary without a rotation - But what about orbit? Is it completely still? Even if it doesn't spin it's still hurtling through space which would cause light, etc, to change. Does the Force Nexus block that out while causing an anomaly? Please elaborate.

2.) Location:

This does not state what hex the planet is located within. Dosuun and Skism are in two different hexes. Please choose one and provide a general description of positioning. Whether or not the planet is to be added to the map or not is irrelevant - We still must know clearly where it is. I understand that the idea of the planet is "rogue" but if you need to sub-mod to update the coordinates at another date and time you may do so to reflect the nature of it.

3.) Unexploited Resources:

"Other Metals" isn't quite enough. Per the template, they need to be listed. Anything special or rare should be linked.

4.) Force Nexus: The language that I'll quote below for you is still too strong and is also mighty confusing. I'll quote and highlight the sections for you in red that need to be toned down still. Try using phrases like "may cause" or "could cause" versus stating definitively that "this will happen" to avoid calling damage for other writers. The portion I have highlighted in blue contradicts what you've written above it. If "regular" people can't get onto the planet how would we know that Non-Force Sensitives would experience any sort of discomfort? This second section should be edited to reflect the first.

You should also remove the specific number of "5,000 Midi-Chlorians" from this section. The attempts to gatekeep the planet from Non-Force wielders/NFU's are a little bit too strong and specific whilst at the same time being terribly confusing.

Why not use more concise wording and simply state: "Individuals that are less capable of sensing the Force or those who are considered Non-Force Sensitive may have a difficult time adapting to the conditions on this planet. It has been documented that those with no connection to the Force may endure...Etc, etc..." and remove the portion in blue below.

A Force Nexus doesn't typically "want" for anything, though, it may appear to. The part about the "This is the Nexus's way of keeping regular people off the planet. By doing this, regular people can't come onto Kricelos to use the Kyber Crystals as resources for any weapons or technology." could be added to the history as a myth as to why non-force sensitive may avoid it.

But - It doesn't belong here.

• Force Nexus: Neutral. Although only Jedi are currently on this planet, Sith are still able to come and get a Kyber Crystals as they please.
  Intent: The force nexus was put at Neutral so any Force wielders can come here. It doesn't matter if they are a Jedi, Sith, or Grey, as long as they have the Force within them, they can come.
• Nexus Name: N/A
• Nexus Alignment: Neutral
• Size: Planetary
• Strength: Strong. As mentioned previously, the Nexus does not care what side of the force you believe in, as long as you are connected to it. A major event involving tens of thousands of Jedi or Sith would be required to sway it one way or another.
• Accessibility: Easy to find, since it is planetary.
• Effects: The Nexus does not affect force-wielders, but it does affect nonforce-wielders. Those foolish enough to try and land on the planet with no connection to the force will be given mind-numbing headaches, severe soreness in the bones, and organ failure. This Nexus does not take kindly to nonforce-wielders, and will do everything it can to keep them off the planet. The Nexus causes severe discomfort to people not connected to the force. If they stay long enough, they might even die.
  • Each person's experience on this planet is different. If you are used to cold temperatures, the planet will feel cooler to you, with more wind. If you are used to muggy environments, you will start to feel the moisture in the air. It all depends on the person. This is caused by the Nexus trying to make its inhabitants feel like they belong here, and that it is a safe place.
  • Only people with a baseline amount of 5,000 Midi-Chlorians are able to enter the planet. This is the Nexus's way of keeping regular people off the planet. By doing this, regular people can't come onto Kricelos to use the Kyber Crystals as resources for any weapons or technology.

5. ) Sentient Nexus? Sentient Planet?: There are many statements that make it seem like we're attempting to make the planet sentient through the Force Nexus.

• The Nexus does not care what side of the force you believe in
• This Nexus does not take kindly to nonforce-wielders, and will do everything it can to keep them off the planet
• This is caused by the Nexus trying to make its inhabitants feel like they belong here, and that it is a safe place.
• This is the Nexus's way of keeping regular people off the planet.

These things can be written, but, it should be stated as an "Effect" not an "Intent":

Example: The presence of this Force Nexus makes it so that this planet is not hospitable to non-force wielders - or - The Force Nexus provides an environment that can cause visitors to feel more at ease. In these examples, it describes the effect of the Nexus without forcing the effect on others but giving them a solid idea of what may happen there.

Please read through and rework this Force Nexus accordingly. Any notes or motivations about why it affects NFU's can be moved to History.

6.) Conflicting Details: There are several points in which the details in this submission do not match in the slightest. They will need to be reviewed and corrected.

How do the residents not import anything but stay on this world? They have no food and no way of making it has been provided. How do they survive?

If they have no economy as described in "Wealth" how are they exporting Kyber Crystals? Shouldn't that just be an unexploited resource?

Culture, Government, Wealth, and Stability all describe some sort of inhabitants, even if, they are transient. There are small villages but nothing further? Does no one caretake them? This seems very off given that the History describes Jedi staying there.

7.) History: This section seems very incomplete. We don't go much further than 200ABY and there's nothing really here that addresses the SWRP Timeline either. The effect that this planet has listed here needs to be removed about turning someone to "mush".

The planet itself is located in the Outer Rim but is actually affiliated with the Silver Jedi? How did that come to be? What else has happened here? What is everyday life like? Does the temple still exist? Do Sith still fight here or was it just something that happened a long time ago? Is the world mostly barren?

The submission is a great start of something, but, it needs to be fleshed out severely. I will be moving this submission back to the Pre-Codex due to the extensive nature of the changes that will be required for this Planet to pass. Please tag if you need help, have questions, or if you're ready for it to be moved back to live judging. Thank you.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Srina Talon while I'm not going to deny that I'm a little saddened that there is a lot to rework, I actually want to thank you. My mindset when first seeing this was "shoot, now it is going to take EVEN longer to make this official." But I quickly stopped myself. Being an Admin must take a lot of hard work to make sure everything is balanced. So thank you for giving me these points on how to improve and better this planet.

 

[Srina Talon]

Okkeus Dainlei

I get being a little saddened that it wasn't able to be passed through right away and thank you for your understanding. As I mentioned in the submission, it looks like you have the start of something great, but it's not quite there yet. The biggest issue is conflicting data and ensuring that we aren't using language that accidentally forces some sort of effect or damage on other writers.

I have confidence that you'll be able to work it through. Just remember "cause" and "effect" when it comes to Planet Submissions. If you state one thing in one section you have to make sure it lines up everywhere. Or, if something is incredibly unique? Be sure to explain and if at all possible try and liken it to something that exists in Star Wars for solid reference.

It sounds like a cool place - I'll be here when you're ready, or, if you need help in the meantime feel free to give me a tag.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Checklist for Updates:

1. The planet is stationary with no orbit. Since it is millions of miles away from any sun or star, the Nexus creates the light for this planet.

3. Took out “Other Metals” and listed the actual other metals located there.

6. Updated Import and Export sections. Will further describe the Capital in a newly-written description.