Private It's Not Your Fault

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Jedi Temple
Coruscant​

The gravely wounded Lion awoke to find himself behind the glass of a bacta tank, hooked up to a rebreather and submerged from head to toe. The light panic subsided upon recognising his whereabouts and the medical personnel observing him on the outside: He was once more a guest of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, under the care of Jedi healers. He strained his neck to look down the side of his torso to find a hideous scar where the broken blade of Derriphan had been thrust, and suddenly his whereabouts made sense.

The Nobles must have brought him here.

Upon being released and urged to spend the next few days in bed, Thurion found himself hobbling around the Temple halls in the dead of night. No rest would find him this night, for all the comfy pillow would offer was time to mull over his failure to land the killing blow. That, and he felt the need to locate a means to let his wife know of his whereabouts. Last she knew he was heading off solely on a hunch that he was needed.

The Jedi Temple was very different at night; its vast halls were largely empty, cleared of any daytime visitors and with only a handful of padawans scurrying through the corridors. Temple Guards maintained their statuesque vigil, only receiving relief at dawn. All you could hear was the tapping sound of his cane striking the hard floor with each arduous step, the slightest loss of balance causing immense pain.

Feeling the need for fresh air, Thurion stumbled his way towards the courtyard. He found that he wasn't alone in need of solitude.

"Master Noble," he caught himself as soon as the words left his mouth. "Kahlil. Forgive me, didn't think anyone would be out here. I'll leave you to your thoughts, I've no doubt they're no less troubled than my own."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

It wasn't at all what he'd expected.

Kahlil's gaze stayed distant, staring off towards nothing. The Coruscant skyline seemed too distant and cold most nights. Ever since the Wellspring it'd been like this. As if some darkness had taken the light out of the stars. His father's darkness, probably. One of the advantages to be raising a Sith, if it could be called that, was learning how to compartmentalize emotions. They were tools to be used, not felt.

Didn't mean he wasn't still in his own head. Kaahlil, no, Kahlil. The real one of them both. Gone. Consumed by their father as a vessel. How could he do that to his real son? Kahlil had long resigned to the fact that he was the copy, and that was why he was treated so disposable and marked as a vessel. The reality was far more simple though. The children of concubines weren't really children, just tools.

That's just how it was.

"Master Noble,"

His grip on the railing loosened immediately as he glanced towards the source. And smiled, just briefly.

"We sent word to your people we were treating you here. They were quite thankful to know you were alive. .. You're welcome to stay. I don't own this railing or anything. How are you feeling?"

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion was glad to avoid having to turn back the way he came, for in his delicate state one wrong step would surely put him on the floor with an aggravated wound. Feeling invited to join the Shield, he instead shuffled his way to Kahlil's side, relieved at being able to support himself against the sturdy railing and put down his cane for once.

"My thanks," he replied. "Never been a fan of bacta tanks. On Midvinter we're forced to rely on simple medicine and trust our bodies to do the rest. Still, one cannot argue with the results."

He turned his gaze to the horizon, watching the neverending lanes of speeders against the bright lights of a city planet that never sleeps. As a boy, he spent each night stargazing, wondering what lay out there. Knowing what he knew now, the comfort of everyday life seemed all the more appealing.

"How about yourself," he asked the Epicanthix, genuinely concerned. He couldn't recall whether she was wounded or not. "And Valery, and the little ones? I imagine they must've cheered at your return."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"There's few things better. At least that aren't painful." Briefly Kahlil glanced to his arms. More than once he'd had them reattached or simply remade growing up. And the process was never painless. His expression stilled for a moment, his eyes lingering there. He couldn't bring himself to look at Thurion with his question.

"Valery, myself, and the triplets have been fine, at least physically. Vera is.. Strong. Even when Carnifex kidnapped her she made sure the triplets were safe. Physically she's recovered, but knowing my father and what he's done to his own children, I worry she might have nightmares or other troubles. So far I haven't seen a sign of that, and hopefully there is none, but it's still very.. It's alarming."

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion grimaced at the mention of Vera's kidnapping. No child should have to pay for the sins of the father, nor become a pawn in some madman's scheme. If there was ever a way to make the Lion's blood boil, it was callousness and maliciousness towards little ones, who deserved nothing less than love and hope for the future.

His strong hands firmed around the railing so hard it might come apart, but soon took a deep breath and felt the rage evaporate, leaving only tranquillity.

"Vera's actions were as you taught her," he turned to Kahlil, patting him on the shoulder. "We can't always be there to protect them, much as we'd like to be. All we can do is provide instructions and offer what wisdom we've accrued in life. The rest, I'm afraid, is up to them. They are stronger than we expect, smarter than we think, and braver than we believe. As parents, we can only hope they rise to become greater than ourselves."

What began as a light pat on Kahlil's shoulder soon turned into a squeeze, firm yet supportive.

"The monster who sired you is no father," he continued, steering the conversation towards the Son of Kaine instead. "He failed every duty as a father, save one: He unknowingly made you an infinitely greater man than he could ever be."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Technically he cloned me from his then dead son. All to jump start his vessel program so those like Nida could be made. I just.. I don't get why he brought him back. That version of me that was there, the one he took over, he was the original." Original, the first. It didn't matter too much to Kahlil which of them was the 'real' one, as he already knew his own life was real. He'd made his life real.

"He was his real son, and Carnifex erased him."

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Who knows these things," said Thurion with a sigh, long past trying to understand his arch-enemy's motives behind the atrocities committed regularly. "He's switched bodies so many times now even he probably cannot keep track. Perhaps he merely kept him around as a backup plan."

His features twisted into disgust for having even uttered those words, knowing there was likely truth behind them. The sacrifice of a son for the sole benefit of the father is... heinous to even consider. He took personal offence to such a loathsome notion of fatherhood.

"Honestly, it doesn't matter. All it does is make his eventual downfall all the more deserved. Every life he's taken, every wrong deliberately made, will finally spill over and prove his utter ruin. There is justice in this galaxy, and he can only elude it for so long." The Lion had once pitied Carnifex; pitied how a brilliant mind like his was wasted on failed empires and set on bringing as much misery to the galaxy as possible. The invasion of the Wellspring of Life - the cradle of all life ever - removed the last ounce of pity he could spare for such a creature, bereft of a soul.

"No, you are no son of his," Thurion confirmed, risking a great deal of pain by now placing both hands upon his shoulders. "I look in your eyes and I see no trace of Zambrano, clone or trueborn. You are Kahlil of House Noble, Shield of the Jedi, husband and father, and a good man. I am truly proud of who you've become, and what you've risen above."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

Kahlil blinked slowly as he listened to Thurion. Then he smiled, just a little. He understood what Thurion was trying to say, and he did agree. Somewhat, anyway. "I'm grateful. More than you know. But I am still a Zambrano. I have to be, if I want to help my people. The Epicanthix need someone who will help them, and too many still follow the House of Zambrano for anything less. There's still so much to be done."

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion stood silent as he declared his stance on the matter of his heritage. At that moment he recalled the floating remains of Panatha, the Epicanthix homeworld, and the sheer dread of the same fate ever befalling Midvinter. Yet the Shield of the Jedi, demonstrating his quality in full, still hoped to unite his scattered people and lead them into a better future.

The Lion was at a loss for words, and he could no longer bear to hold Kahlil's gaze. He flashed a mirthless smile and patted him on the side of his neck before carefully going back to leaning against the railing, hissing at the minor pain emanating from the wound in his side.

"I wish to bare my soul to you," he spoke anew, eyes to the horizon. "It's been troubling me ever since we first met, just over there," he pointed towards the exact spot in the gardens. "You, Valery, sweet little Vera. Of course, the triplets were yet to be born at the time."

He afforded himself a soft chuckle only to wince at the spike in pain.

"Your f-- Carnifex and I have been mortal enemies since long before you were... well, brought to life. We've fought each other to a standstill on countless occasions, seemingly shaking the very foundations of the world in the process. I look back at any of those old battles and I can't help but think: What if I'd bested him? What if my sword arm exceeded his for but a fleeting moment, and I ended the Dark Lord's reign there and then?"

His words were those of a soldier, a veteran of countless wars, long weary of combat. And he was. So very, very tired.

"You would not be here, and neither would Vera or the triplets. But trillions of others would." Having said the words, he was able to look at Kahlil once more. "So you see, I feel rather responsible for you. All of you."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"I know what you're saying, but you did just say my life cost trillions." That couldn't help but stand out. At least in a funny way for the Shield. He just chuckled, shaking his head as he glanced off. He wasn't sure how to feel. They'd fought side by side against his father, and everything he was saying was.. Nice. Kind. A type of kindness he wasn't used to in the slightest.

"You're always welcome around my family. I'm sure Vera would enjoy spending time around you, anyway. A legendary hero in the flesh. Superhero, no less." A grin formed this time as he glanced back towards the King. "You should hear the stories about you."

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion chuckled with enough effort to make the pain flare up, turning laughter into a groan. It didn't bother him, though. He clutched his side, having to sit down then and there. He slumped down to the floor, leaning against the railing and knocking over his cane in all the excitement. He gave Kahlil a playful shove from where he sat. "Superhero, shut up..."

The Lion smiled, unable to mask his delight. The mental image of all the kids bundled up in bed listening to wild tales of his exploits was too silly and heartwarming to dismiss. "It's all true, of course," he said with unmistakable amusement. "Just don't skimp out on the classics. My favourite was always Luke Skywalker." Leaning his head back and closing his eyes, he smiled fondly at the memory.

"My master would share stories of legendary Jedi whenever I asked. I never imagined I'd star in such tales myself. Not while still alive, at the very least." For a brief moment, his features fell sorrowful. He always did when thinking of his mentor-turned-mother.

"I suppose our latest outing would make for one hell of a tale if anyone were to find it even remotely plausible. I scarcely believe it myself, if I'm honest."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

Kahlil just snickered, even more so as Thurion needed to sit down from his own laughter. To think they'd be laughting together, and what's more, that Kahlil wasn't even thinking about how impossible it might've seemed.

"People won't believe it. Our world is just too unbelievable to those who can't feel the Force as we do. And even then, the Wellspring is a realm of it's own. The normal rules don't apply where the Force finds it's home."

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Tell me about it," the old man concurred. "The physical feats the Force allows us to do on a daily basis alone are strange enough for the average person. Then take into account not only the concept of the Wellspring being the cradle of life itself but that it's an actual place, and it would probably literally blow their minds."

Thurion did his best to sit upright, not even attempting to pull himself back on his feet. Instead, he made himself comfortable, crossing his legs at the ankles and patting the ground next to him, inviting Kahlil to sit with him.

"Listen, son... What happened back there, what he did to Vera and... the other you... None of it was your fault. Gods know I blame myself enough to go around, I don't need you to go down the same road as me. What I need from you is to keep being the good man I know you to be; a husband, a father, and an inspiration to others. That's how we best him - through simple acts of kindness and love, the very concept of which he knows nothing about."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

Kahlil raised a brow as Thurion sat, but didn't hesitate to join him when the offer came. Then, he just listened. In silence, letting his gaze linger on the distant skyline of endless city skyscrapers. And all he had was a distant smile on his face. He knew it wasn't his fault that those things happened. But it was his daughter that was taken. From their house. His expression didn't show it, but the Force trembled with the anger he felt.

"It's very difficult to stay a good man. But I will, as best I can at least."

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion glanced at Kahlil sitting beside him with ever-increasing fascination. It was like staring into a mirror and seeing himself some 40 years ago, full of vigour and spirit; a father of several, and a true soulmate at his side. It was as if the powers that be had deemed to repeat history by finding the most unlikely person to "succeed" him, for lack of a better word. To think that the spawn of his age-old nemesis could remind him more of himself than the Dark Lord who created him.

"I know," Thurion said. "You must lean on your loved ones, take heart from their strength. Without Coci, my kids, my grandkids... I'd have died a broken man a long time ago. It is them I turn to in my many moments of weakness, just as they look to you for strength. That is the nature of being a father, a leader, or a king. You won't always have the answers, but that's okay. Surround yourself with people that you love and trust, and you will never falter."

He realised now what it was that drew him so to the situation of the man beside him. Here was a chance to advise his younger self on matters he was forced to figure out as they happened, without a parental figure to draw wisdom from.

In Kahlil, formerly of House Zambrano, he saw an opportunity to atone for the mistakes he made so long ago.

"You're gonna be alright, son," he assured him with a pat on his shoulder. "You're in the right place, at the right time, with the right partner by your side. Together, you and Valery will achieve wonders the likes of which have never been seen before. This is your moment, Kahl."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Part of me wants to argue for the sake of argument on whether or not things will be fine, and yet, I actually believe you." For the first time in a long time, facing down his father and family didn't leave him wondering if all of this was temporary. Him being a Jedi, him having his family, him just existing. Now he did. And there was no doubt left in his heart.

"We'll see. If I end up having Padawan's asking about stories of what I've done, I'll be sure to let you know I've made it big like you, mm?"

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Sounds good," the elder Jedi nodded smiling. "And I can't wait to bask in the light of your legend years from now. I'm rooting for ya, kid."

A moment's pause as Thurion took a deep breath, readying himself for the inevitable pain of getting back on his feet.

"Right, I'd best get back into bed else I forfeit tomorrow's complimentary ice cream. The nurse already threatened to withhold it for being a difficult patient." His feeble attempts to pull himself up proved fruitless, for he could not bring himself to risk causing further self-harm. "Won't you be a good sport and give an old man a hand, my boy?"

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"You're not old, c'mon. .. Unless you are. Epicanthix age slow, not sure about your folks." Kahlil shrugged indifferently about that thought before reaching down to help Thurion up to his feet with a slight smile. This was weird. To a young Kahlil this was the weirdest thing he'd ever experience. But for who he was now, this was normal. Welcome. Right.

"But yeah, don't want you missing out on your ice cream, huh?"

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion steeled himself for the physical effort of being pulled to his feet, as it wouldn't matter how careful Kahlil was. It was like ripping off a band-aid, only a hundredfold in intensity. Though the physiology of the Valkyri allowed his body to heal effectively and quicker than the average human, it did nothing to diminish the pain. A loud groan forced its way out of his lungs as he was hoisted off the floor with one strong pull - not an easy feat considering his size and weight. Once on his feet, Thurion hung on to Kahlil so as to not lose balance.

"Thank you, my boy," he spoke under laboured breath. "I did not relish the thought of spending the night on cold hard stone." Extending his hand, he summoned the cane into his palm so he might ease his grip on Kahlil, yet still maintained an arm around his shoulders for good measure.

"Seventy-eight," he then said as he took a tentative first step, leaning on his cane. "My age. I know I might not look it, but I sure as hell feel it. It takes a toll on you, watching those around you grow old and wither away, one year at a time, whereas you more or less stay the same..." His smile grew sad as it lingered on his face, thinking of one person in particular.

"So when I say I'm old, be a good sport and amuse me. It makes me feel better."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

Kahlil kept a pretty calm expression as he watched Thurion. He helped as best he could, but he recognized just how painful it was going to be. It was a warriors pride after all. Don't make a big deal of it all. He'd be there to support the aged Jedi, but he certainly wouldn't suggest he was weak. Though his expression stilled from the smile to something more complex as he listened. The folly of being slow to age, watching all those who aren't slowly die.

"Well. Stay alive as long as you can, then. It'd be nice to have someone to still talk to when everyone else is gone."

He kept his gaze forward, but eventually smiled again as he glanced to Thurion once more.

"What kind of ice cream do you think they're gonna have today?"

Thurion Heavenshield