Private Hot, but also, Cold

[Aeris Lashiec]

The small cooler in her off-hand was counterbalanced by the slightly bigger tray in the other. People gave Aeris a curious glance as she passed them by in the halls and she gave them a warm smile in return which felt weird given the nature of what her intent was. A friend of hers was in need, and Aeris knew better than to not provide. Despite what it may have seemed like at times, she was actually quite adept when it came to matters of the heart. After all, she had read many books on anatomy and they couldn't all be wrong.

Jokes aside, the doors swept open and Aeris took a step inside Valery's quarters and deposited her tray and assorted collection of teas on a nearby surface before she dropped the cooler on the ground with a heavy thud to announce her arrival. The second that Aeris saw her friend she would move over to provide her with a tight hug that lasted perhaps a little bit longer than need-be, but just long enough to not be creepy.

"I am so sorry to hear the news," Aeris started with a thoughtful frown before she let in a deep breath and put a smile on. "And I know this may be a bit unorthodox in a time such as this, but with how insistent people are with dwelling on the hurt of others, and because I figured that since you are a woman of action, I want to do something fun instead. So, instead of dwelling on the sad parts, we will celebrate the good ones."

Aeris raised her arms in triumph as she rapidly walked backwards to where she had left her tray and the cooler.

"To help with this, I bring you," Both of Aeris' arms pointed at the tray of teas and a curious looking pot. "My collection of different assorted teas," She pointed a finger directly at the pot. "My alchemized tea set; it never gets cold," Finally she patted at the top of the cooler. "And last but not least, a boatload of ice cream."

"We are talking muja fruit, chocolate, even vanilla… Any assortment of flavors that you could dream of, I have it." And then she slowly nodded before Valery could ask the most obvious question. "And yes, naturally, I brought some for Vera too."

A decidedly pointed finger motioned for Valery to take a seat on a nearby couch.

"You will sit down, and I will get the rest started. Choose your tea and I will deal with pot."

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

Valery was sitting alone in her quarters, which were somewhere up higher in the Temple. She had positioned a seat near the window, allowing her a view across the entire Coruscant skyline that she hoped would help her drift away to an empty state of mind. Thinking about what happened and what would come next hurt too much, so all she looked for was a way to feel completely numb to it.

But nothing really helped in the end.

So even though she wasn't necessarily in the mood to surround herself with people, she had agreed to Aeris coming over. The librarian was one of the first Jedi she met after coming out of stasis and a woman she had always respected a lot. Of those outside her very close inner circle, such as her Padawans and daughter, Aeris was one of few she did want to talk to.

When the doors slid over, Valery was quick to rise and moved over to hold her friend tightly. Perhaps it was a long hug, but she already felt sadness creeping up inside, drawing tears into her eyes, so the long embrace gave her the time she needed to keep herself calm and collected. The words that followed from Aeris very quickly confirmed why Valery had wanted her to come over — she was here not to drag Valery down through the most painful thing in her life all over again, but to focus on something that would actually help her. "Thank you, Aeris," Valery said with a weak smile, but unlike those of late, this one wasn't forced.

Valery then looked at the tea and ice cream, and slowly but surely, the smile began to widen, "You didn't have to do all this, but I do really appreciate it, and- oh is that mudleaf tea?" She asked, and a little spark seemed to ignite in her fiery eyes. She then grinned at all the ice cream flavors and nodded, "Vera will love it, but I'm a little afraid to see her get even more energetic," she said with a soft chuckle.

"You will sit down, and I will get the rest started. Choose your tea and I will deal with pot."

Valery blinked but wasn't going to argue — never a good idea to argue with librarians. She lowered herself onto the couch and pointed at the mudleaf tea, "It's good to have you back at the Temple," she said after a moment. "You've really been missed." It was very obvious by her tone that she was definitely one of them.

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"Thank you!" Aeris smiled and slowly began to pour water into the open lid of the pot. "And hey, no worries about the kid. From my experience, the more energetic they are, the better they will sleep later."

If they slept at all. Aeris left that part out and instead focused on the tea ceremony, she figured Valery was all too aware of what Aeris meant. Her thumb covered the spout for a second as she gave the water inside the pot a quick shake and twirl to truly have it wash across the insides of the rather large container. The thumb slid away to let her pour the remaining water out as a hint of steam began to push from it. This was a gift from a very thankful Atrisian woman that Aeris had helped once. Parts of it may have been Sith magic, but even Aeris had to admit that some parts of it were useful. Potentially dangerous, but useful.

"And of course it is mudleaf tea! Hard to not appreciate those earthy undertones when the monotonous nature of city living grips at your soul." Aeris chimed up as she put some more water in the pot and slowly walked on over to the couch to take a seat on the other side from Valery. "I mean, I have always wondered why something so dedicated to life and peace such as the Jedi Order was so keen on living in a place so artificial and… Bland."

Without saying much more, Aeris got to work on Valery's tea. With another quick twirl and a slight dip that would have to substitute for a proper tea ceremony, Aeris poured up one consistently hot cup of tea that was just warm enough to grab a hold without scorching one's fingerprints from their hands. It went with saying that if the pot was alchemized, well, so were the cups. When it came to grabbing a tea flavor of her own, Aeris went with a green tea spiked with lemon and mint. A rather standard choice, but this evening was just about getting started. They had all the time in the world to get wild and crazy later.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

"Seems about right. She definitely has all that energy from me, and I didn't start sleeping well until I was much older," she said with a faint smirk while she watched Aeris prepare the tea. Talking about Vera was maybe one of the few things that really brought a happy smile now, so it was a welcomed subject, even if it was only for a minute.

"It's a flavor we always had at my old Temple on New Cov, so it brings back good memories and warmth," Valery said with a nod as she studied the fairly strange way the tea was being made, but she wasn't really in that mindset to think too hard on it all and question everything. She was far more focused on the familiar scent of the tea, as it was being poured into a cup. "I understand why we're here — it can be useful to have our main Temple on the Alliance capital for symbolic reasons. But I do agree that it feels very bland. It's why I still prefer to be on New Cov when I can."

And that wasn't just because her husband had arranged it to be rebuilt as a surprise gift for her.

"Maybe one day we'll be on Tython again. History does seem to repeat itself a little too much," she hinted at their first-ever conversation with a soft smile.

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"History does repeat itself a little too much." Aeris laughed and took a sip of her tea. "At times you have to wonder if the whole galaxy is run by some sort of cabal of re-enactors or something."

Deep breath and amused exhale. A cabal of re-enactors, what nonsense. There was nothing about the past that warranted re-enactment. The past was the past, that was why it was called just that: the past. The only reason that things seemed to repeat themselves over and over was because people still held onto the same ideals. That wasn't a conversation for now though. Aeris took another sip from her tea and began to look around the room to get a better idea of how Valery liked to live. There were traces of a child around here, for sure, it was hard not to notice them if you knew what to look for.

"You know, I am not sure that I ever told you — or that anyone seems to remember for that matter — that I spent years tending to a small group of children while I was on the run from inquisitors." Aeris said and looked back over at her friend. Perhaps now at least one person would understand why Aeris' mind always seemed so focused on 'survival' and 'preservation' at all times. "Taught them how to control their breathing when the agents were too close to our hiding spot for comfort, or how to tell what to look for in people when it came to trust."

"Trust like that, the responsibility, it helps you understand very quickly where your priorities lay." Aeris slowly nodded and sipped from her tea. "I think for me it was the realization that no matter how hard we try to do the right thing there will always be shortcomings. Personal ones, external ones, things beyond our control."

"Things that we can learn lessons from that we cannot really share with others." Aeris said and took another sip of her tea. "So, to try and pry open those lessons…" She then said and gave Valery a knowing look to say that Aeris was all too aware that whatever Valery felt right now was Valery's alone, and there was no way to even comprehend what that was like. Only that she could be there for support when the need arose.

"Well, people can pry all they want. It would still be pointless, and quite frankly it is none of their business."

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

"It sure feels that way," she said while she shifted the warm cup of tea between her hands to enjoy the comfort of its warmth. Her eyes then briefly wandered about, taking in the relatively simple room. She didn't come here too often, but especially now that it was much harder to be at her normal home, it offered an escape. Which is why some of Vera's toys were scattered around as well. Finding time to clean up was getting harder and harder.

Her eyes then shifted back to Aeris, and Valery found herself quietly and intently listening to the story, and especially its purpose. Aeris always had a way with words and offering advice or perspective in interesting ways. "I agree. Being a mother has really changed the way I look at a lot of things in life," she softly added before taking a sip from her tea.

"So, to try and pry open those lessons…"

Valery lowered her cup back down and nodded at the knowing look she got from Aeris. She rested the tea in her lap and looked down at the liquid for a moment, "I've never been one to be very open about my own problems. Sometimes just because I'm too busy helping others with theirs, but mostly it's because it is as you say, pointless... to an extent, anyway." She looked up and smiled a little, "People mean well when they approach me, but it's very hard to find rest as is."

"So when the few moments of peace I do find are disturbed and end with me being dragged down through everything that happened again, I just..." she sighed and took a small break for herself by sipping from her tea again. "I knew you'd understand this, so this has been a welcomed change of pace."

"I've talked to some others I'm really close to, and I'll find a way forward. I just don't want the constant prying and I want to try to focus on better things when I can. Like my kid." All that really remained was for her to also find the time and energy to focus on herself more. It was easily forgotten by someone in her position.

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"People generally mean well," Aeris nodded. "They want to shoulder a weight before they even know what it is. A crate, a car, a whole shipwreck. But for you, and I hope you do not mind me saying," Aeris sipped tea to ready them both for this. "I think that the more important distinction is the difference between 'focus' and 'learning'. Focus is great, focus is the most powerful driving force we have, but also our worst enemy if pointed in the wrong direction or just not given enough direction in the first place."

"As a friend, I guess what I mean to say is, I do not want you to 'focus on better things', because nothing is more important right now than you giving yourself exactly the amount of time that you, and you alone, need to process what is happening. To do so on your own terms. Council call? Hang up. Someone interrupting quality time with Vera? Definitely hang up."

If anyone complained, Aeris would more than happily withdraw their library credit for a month. Still, Aeris' cup found her lips for another sip as her eyes began to dart around the room.

"Speaking of which, where is she? Tell me more about her, you! And do NOT tell me I missed her and she is outside right now."

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

This time, Valery was much quieter while she listened to her friend and allowed the words to sink in properly. Even now, in these darkest days of her life, Valery afforded herself very little time to actually process what is happening in her life. She was finally starting to realize it, and looked at Aeris with a smile that showed her gratitude.

"You're right, Aeris... you're right," she said before she looked down at her tea for a few seconds, before raising the cup up to her lips for a small sip.

"I really need the time and not just for me alone. I want Vera to be with me; she needs me more than ever before." Auntie Yula was fantastic, and Vera loved spending time with her to learn the skills of a mechanic and mess around with droids. But she was also just a child who lost her father, and that trauma was something she needed to figure out with her mother.

"Speaking of which, where is she? Tell me more about her, you! And do NOT tell me I missed her and she is outside right now."

Valery chuckled and looked up at Aeris again, "She's actually down in one of the classrooms, attending one of her first classes here." There was a very proud, motherly smile now. "It's a little scary to see how much she's like me, or well... my younger self. Very energetic, competitive but she's such a joy to watch and be around."

"If you'd like, we can go down there after we finish our tea, and I can introduce you?"

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Valery Noble

"Uh uh." Aeris shook her head. "As much as I would love to do that, this evening is all about staying in, staying comfortable, and staying happy." She chuckled. "And besides, I know better than to get between the instructors and their wards."

Aeris reached into the cooler and grabbed herself a neat little cup of ice cream. Chocolate-pear, a mixture that intrigued her more than it probably had any right to. Her free hand pushed at the side of the cooler to get it to slide closer to Valery so that she could have her pick. There was quite the mix there for her to pick and choose from.

"So," Aeris began and shoveled a piece of ice cream into her mouth and gave a quick swallow. "Do you think the galaxy can handle two of you?"

"... I mean, with just one around we saw some serious butt get kicked. With two…"

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

"You make a good point," Valery said with a soft chuckle. "I used to get really cranky if my lessons were interrupted as well." That and the idea of staying up here, warm and comfortable with tea and ice cream was quite nice. Not that she'd ever admit a desire of using ice cream to feel better — as far as her Padawans were concerned, she only ever ate what fit her incredibly strict diet. They probably didn't associate cheat days with her.

Valery then leaned forward as the cooler was shifted over, and picked out cherry-flavored ice cream for herself. Simple, yes, but at least it wasn't vanilla. She just liked the sweet taste of it.

"Well, the Galaxy better learns how to handle it quickly," Valery joked before she stuffed her own face with ice cream. "But I'm not sure if she'll be like me. She has my energy and spirit, but very different things seem to come naturally to her. When she was three, she was starting to receive visions already, and she still does."

"Perhaps she'll become a Jedi Seer one day." Of course, Valery would make sure Vera still learned how to protect herself and others properly, but not all Jedi were as focused on combat training as Valery. "Maybe even a librarian," Valery added with a wink. "She always loved me reading her stories, and now she's picking it up herself."

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"Well, I will be around and see to her reading when the day comes then." Aeris quipped about Vera's potential as a librarian. "I have to warn you though, it is not necessarily a branch that makes a lot of friends. Delayed returns, having to enact disciplinary action when people access areas that they are not meant to have access to…"

A chuckled spread her lips into a smirk. "Or maybe that is just me."

"I have no doubt that Vera will have a whole Order's worth of potential caretakers there for her." A small shrug lifted Aeris' left shoulder and her head tilted to meet it. "The kid will be just fine."

Perhaps to that effect there was a smidgeon of envy from Aeris. To have a whole Order there behind her and how such a prospect was even more realistic than when Aeris was the same age. Vera didn't have to worry about food or where to sleep, whether the temple would be razed by the morning…

Kids these days had it far too easy. Right? It didn't matter. Aeris' smirk mellowed out into a warm smile.

"So, was the love for reading something she got from you, or am I right in feeling like she might have gotten that from her father?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

"I don't expect anything less," Valery said with a grin in response to Aeris' quip, "And I think she'll be okay. She made a lot of friends in school and is very easygoing. But I suppose that could always change when she gets older." She was already fearful of her teenage days, knowing how difficult she was herself when she was that young. But it was all part of raising kids, and she loved it too much to really get frustrated over it.

"That too. We decided early that someone else should become her Master, and I have quite a good feeling about the NJO's future, so there will be plenty of options for her, I hope." Of course, Valery would still play a role in her training, but it was better for Vera to study under someone else, and take steps of her own in life as well. That is if she even decides to continue her training.

"So, was the love for reading something she got from you, or am I right in feeling like she might have gotten that from her father?"

Valery smirked, "Believe it or not, I actually loved reading when I was young, too. Some fictional works as well. But I will admit that she got a lot from her dad. He always..." she paused. "He used to always read her stories and encourage her to read more. Helped her become a pretty clever kid."

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

It was an admittedly probing question. Aeris had never actually met Kahlil, at least not to her knowledge if her memory served. And of course Val had loved reading at some point, Guardian and Sentinel was just a name tag, but that didn't mean Aeris held onto some small preconceptions about individuals who leaned more into said tags. Call it having too much experience with the kind of leather-wearing jocksters that fought crime and called themselves Jedi.

"Well," Aeris said and brought forth her cup to clink with Val's to change the topic and focus on the here and now. "Here's to that."

She downed the rest of her drink and put the cup down on the table to grab the still warm pot.

"For me, books were always a handy escape from reality." Aeris chuckled and grabbed a new bag of tea, put it in her cup and poured water over it. "I would keep a small datapad with a miniscule copy of the Ossus library on it when I was about her age. When I was nervous I moved the icons around like they were placed on the shelves of the real albeit bombed out archives back home."

"And for that, you know," Aeris laughed. Mostly at herself. "There's a small part of me that is envious of her."

"You know?" She turned to look at Valery. "There is stability now. In fact, the Jedi Order now is far more stable than it has been in decades. Back then there was not a single hope of reconciliation with the Silver Jedi, and when things started to look particularly bad for the Galactic Republic, parts of it splintered off to form the New Jedi Order in what I like to call the old Galactic Alliance, the one that collapsed and was rebirthed into this — the Alliance that we are currently living under and at the mercy of."

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

With a smile, Valery raised her cup to clink it against Aeris' before taking a sip and listening to her friend, "That's what I read them for as well... an escape," Valery admitted. Her days as a Padawan shifted from quite fantastic to some of the toughest of her life after her face was scarred. Reading had been one way for her to escape everything and keep herself distracted.

So she could understand being envious of Vera as well, who had amazing support all around her, and a mother who would always be there for her.

"That's what I've heard from others as well. I wasn't here yet during those unstable times, but even I have seen quite an improvement when it comes to the Jedi, as well as their relationships with the Alliance and its citizens. Aside from the war, it'll be a good time for Vera to grow up," she said before she kept her eyes locked on Aeris for a long moment. Valery could talk for hours about her daughter, the way almost any mother could. But she didn't want it all to be about her, even now.

"How has it all been for you? I know adjusting after strange time phenomena can be quite difficult. You holding up okay?" she asked with sincerity while she sipped away from her tea.

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Aeris wasn’t so blind to social cues that she couldn’t recognize when someone was trying to find the words to ask something they knew could be loaded. She took a sip of her tea as her eyes wandered to meet with Valery’s before Aeris put her cup down on the table again. For a second she considered just telling Valery to ask, but by the time she herself had mustered the courage to do so the question would already linger in the air.

A small smirk, pulled the corner of her lips. She considered just waving it off for a second before her senses got the better of her. A joke would have been easier than the risk of opening up.

“Well,” Aeris swallowed as she fought the urge to shut up. “I guess?”

“The Temple is still a copy of a copy of a temple.” She shrugged. “I still sleep with a bugout bag under my bed, and the younglings are safer than ever.”

“All in all things are just about as good as they have always been.”

“Why?”

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

"I'm not talking about the Temple, how safe the younglings are, or what the Alliance and Jedi are like now," Valery said, her tone a little less careful than it had been a minute ago. She knew that something wasn't quite right, but she wasn't sure if it was up to her to push the subject. Sometimes it was best to leave that initiative to whoever was going through hard times, but she considered Aeris a good friend. She couldn't let it be, especially not after all the help she had gotten from her.

"I'm talking about you," she added with a soft, caring smile.

"I know that when you feel like you need to be there for others, it can be hard, to be honest about your own situation." It was something Valery understood all too well, especially now, after the loss of her husband. "But I'm here for you, too."

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"Look, Valery, I…" Aeris began to deflect before she stopped herself. "What I feel and what I do does not matter."

"Nothing that I do will ever really matter." She said, and this time truthfully. "The Jedi are what matters, the fact that the younglings can live a life and breathe fresh air is—"

That wasn't answering her question. Aeris' brows furrowed as she struggled to beat against that wall. From the outside it might have looked like she was just angry from having been asked, but beneath it all she just didn't know what to say. No, she didn't want to say anything. The distinction was important.

"Valery, I…" She sighed, closed her eyes and shook her head. "I am scared."

This wasn't about Aeris though, this was supposed to be about Valery. This wasn't about Aeris at all, it was supposed to be her getting to feel good about helping someone else, not the other way around. For a moment her face froze up as a stone cold, blank expression fell over her. Anyone who had come to the library had seen this one, the almost detached stare into the distance that carved holes in the soul of whoever she looked at.

And then, it disappeared. Aeris shook herself awake for a moment.

"My words and actions got people killed, on Ilum." Aeris swallowed, again. "On Denon."

"On—" Jedha. She exhaled. "On…"

"I can't."

There were no tears. They should have been there but they weren't.

"I am not a leader."

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

"It does matter," Valery said with a gentle frown, having picked up on the conviction in the woman's voice when she spoke. She agreed that the Jedi as a whole mattered, as their presence was so vital to the safety of so many more, but a chain relied on each individual link to be strong. The way she felt very much mattered to Valery.

"Valery, I…" She sighed, closed her eyes, and shook her head. "I am scared."

"Hey, it's okay," Valery said, her tone softer as her gaze met Aeris'. She could see that distant stare, the void of emotions behind her eyes, and the lack of tears despite the pain that lingered deeper within. She blamed herself for horrible things that happened, and as much as Valery wanted to go against it, she didn't know enough, nor could she reject something Aeris felt so strongly about.

"There's a lot more to being a Jedi or a leader than the war and battles. So many of our younger Jedi have looked up to you, and for good reasons," she said, her tone caring. Valery didn't mind at all that the focus of their meeting had shifted from herself to her friend — this was important, and it mattered a great deal to her.

"But what scares you, Aeris? Nobody is holding anything against you, and you're rightfully well-respected."

​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Valery Noble

"I— I know." Aeris tried to explain herself. "I know that there is more than the battles, I know that the young ones might misplace their adoration."

"In the end, I…" Aeris shook her head. "Valery, this isn't about me. We are here for you, and… Vera, and… Kahlil."

"Any other day, I would—" The blonde caught that look. She relented. "I would tell you how much I recognize that feeling. Not entirely, it was never a real thing for me, I think, but… It strikes a chord, I guess. I mean, you have read my file."

Aeris glanced over at Valery who shook her head. For a second she seemed surprised by that. She would have assumed that as the Sword and somewhat something of a Shadow Valery would have been in the know of just about everything. Then again, perhaps not.

"Oh, well…" Aeris swallowed. "I was forced to kill someone I loved when I was a teenagers. Years later I found out that they were alive, except in the very same moment that we met again, they killed themselves for real this time. Right there in front of me. Back on Jedha."

"I have been on the move since I was three years old." Aeris frowned and reached for her tea. The cup was empty. "Every home that I ever had was eventually destroyed."

"I have never known stability in my entire life, and the idea that what I have going now would end up much the same is…"

"I am fully expecting it. Every day. Every hour."

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit | Weapon | Appearance

Outfit | XoXo
Location | Coruscant | NJO Temple
Tag | Aeris Lashiec

It was a good thing that Aeris relented after catching Valery's look because she wasn't having any of it. Without knowing all the details yet, Valery could already tell that this problem had been suppressed deep within for far too long. She recognized it because many years ago, she had done the exact same thing, and regretted it ever since she did open up to someone and got the support she needed.

"I don't read files unless necessary," Valery quietly added. For her work as a Shadow or as a Council Member, she sometimes had to, but when there was no pressing reason to go through private files, Valery always honored the privacy of others.

Valery then listened quietly, and the story that followed made her heart feel so much heavier. Loss was never an easy thing to process and move on from, especially not with those closest to you. But to have a feeling of guilt attached to it as well was... something else entirely.

"Aeris, I..." it was hard to find words for this, as nothing could truly bring comfort with something as terrible as this. So instead, she shifted over and wrapped an arm around the woman's shoulders to pull her close, "I understand the pain, as well as the lack of stability. It took me nearly 30 years before I had it in my life, then I lost it again from one day to another. But it's still always worth fighting for. Living your life in fear is..." she frowned knowingly, "One day it'll be too much."

"But it's not something you have to do alone."

​