Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Species Review Helwraith

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: To create a Dark Side Spirit for the Dzara
  • Image Credit: Link and Link
  • Canon: N/A
  • Permissions: N/A
  • Links: N/A
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Name: Helwraith
  • Designation: Sentient
  • Origins: Created by The Dzara
  • Average Lifespan: Usually indefinite, unless cut short by violence or starvation.
  • Estimated Population: Scattered
  • Description: Ephemeral, malicious officer-caste spirits created by the Dzara.
PHYSICAL INFORMATION
  • Breathes: N/A
  • Average Height of Adults: 2-2.5 meters
  • Average Length of Adults: N/A
  • Skin color: Usually translucent blue, red, pink, or purple.
  • Hair color: N/A
  • Distinctions: Ghostly form, high intelligence, possessive abilities
  • Races: N/A
  • Force Sensitivity: All
Strengths:
  • Ghostly: In their natural state, Helwraiths are incorporeal. As such, they can pass through solid obstructions, operate at full capacity in air, water or vacuum, and shrug off many conventional forms of weaponry.
  • Master of Puppets: Helwraiths are naturally inclined towards skill in the arts of possession and mechanical alteration, and are capable of turning these abilities on almost anything or anyone available, friend or foe.
  • Adrenaline Rush: Helwraiths are capable of pushing any such possessed victims or devices past their natural physical limits, though not utilizing their learned skills with great efficiency.
  • Dimension-Walker: Helwraiths are capable of transporting themselves to and from the Netherworld/Chaos, as well as bringing others along with them.
Weaknesses:
  • Dispelled: Helwraiths cannot enter or exist within the radius of a Force-Nullification effect, nor possess anyone inside such areas.
  • Exorcism: Being Dark-Side spirits, Helwraiths are vulnerable to Force Light, and other similar concentrated Light-Side manifestations.
  • Bred For Purpose: Helwraiths are not actually free-willed beings. They are unable to engage in direct treason against the Dzara, nor to choose non-Dark Side alignments or utilize Light-Side abilities. Their nature is a fixed and immovable quantity.
  • Computer Virus: Helwraiths are vulnerable to ion weaponry, and doubly vulnerable when possessing a machine or electronic device.
CULTURE
  • Diet: Living Force energy
  • Communication: Spoken languages (usually Galactic Basic), Telepathy
  • Technology level: Helwraiths, being a young species, have no technological standard of their own. Nonetheless, they are capable of adopting and using the technology of other peoples and factions.
  • Religion/Beliefs: As a rule, Helwraiths hold nothing sacred but their allegiance to the Dzara's triune leadership. These persons are held in near-deific reverence, and their commands obeyed without question. Other than this, their individual beliefs and ideals might vary wildly, though they universally encompass destructive Dark-Side related philosophies.
  • General behavior: Generally speaking, these creatures care only for power (as one might expect from such a being) and their standing within the Dzara's Great Chain. When not occupied with the duties of their station, they are often found conspiring against one another. Nonetheless, they are fully sentient beings, and may take a liking to any number of interests or pastimes. Given their nature, these most often include aggressive, competitive, or strategic entertainments.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION

Despite its short time with the Dzara, the Firewisp has shown itself to be surprisingly useful and versatile. However, as with any naturally-occurring (or perhaps, supernaturally-occurring) creature, its shortcomings are many and varied. Never one to be deterred by the apparent limits of the universe, Helix set out on the bold and questionable road of altering (and where possible, improving) such spirits.

Utilizing a combination of sorcerous rituals and barely-understood arcane science, the Helwraith was born. Typically, Helix could not resist the urge to attach his name to this scientific breakthrough.

The resultant creature possesses a strange, alien grace, and an equally strange appearance. Like their predecessors, Helwraiths are largely physically insubstantial. They can freely pass through solid objects or energy barricades, often fading in and out of visibility as they do so. Energy bolts, slugs, and all manner of other weaponry simply pass harmlessly through them, though strong ionic or electromagnetic energies can weaken or destroy them.

Likewise, they seem entirely unaffected by gravity, and can gracefully fly or hover under their own power in air, water or vacuum.

Helwraiths do not possess any known finite lifespan, but can be destroyed by a variety of violent means, or if they fail to feed regularly. Helwraiths (perhaps unsurprisingly) feed on the Living Force, an energy they siphon from living and conscious beings. All are Force-sensitive, though they cannot at any time learn to use Light-Side abilities.

Helwraiths, like their primitive forbears, have a strong affinity with the arts of possession. Unlike them, however, these creatures bear not only far greater intelligence and judgement, but the ability to possess inanimate objects.

Their possessive attacks are far more difficult to defend against than those of their smaller cousins, and they can often prove a challenge even those trained to resist such attacks. Nonetheless, sufficient willpower and focus can and will repulse these attempts. Should they succeed in seizing a body, these creatures gain access to their host's mental faculties and Force powers, though not their memories or skills.

Interestingly, this fine control often leads to the creatures possessing friendly personnel and equipment. While having a sadistic monster rooting around inside one's brain may seem undesirable (and it is), there is a method to the madness. As with the Firewisp, Helwraith possessees exhibit significantly-increased physical attributes. Such persons can shrug off grievous wounds, run or fight for days or weeks without sleep, and snap bone and armor with their bare hands.

As such, Helwraiths can (at least in the short term) make their host dramatically more dangerous and capable, while still allowing them to retain full control of their will and faculties. Of course, humanoid bodies were not designed to operate at this capacity, and Helwraiths do not actually prevent damage to a host. Their ability to push a body past any natural sane limits can cause significant long-term health problems, or even death, as normally-fatal wounds will still take full effect if and when the creature leaves.

For example, a possessed soldier might fight on despite blood loss, dismemberment, or even decapitation, but will expire instantly when the entity ceases its attentions, returning the body to its normal operating limits. As such, Helwraiths attempting to keep their hosts alive for any length of time only push them to a very limited extent.

This ability to enhance the combat prowess of friendly troops is made more interesting by the Helwraith's ability to possess inanimate objects, including advanced technology. This has lent these creatures great success as emergency engineers and repair crewmen, as they are capable of keeping a machine running even when operation should not be physically possible. A possessed droid, for example, will remain operational despite the clear loss of its central processor, or a possessed starship engine might continue propelling the vessel despite being largely destroyed.

Of course, they can readily perform the reverse to enemy weapons and technology, turning them against their masters with glee (at least until forcibly expelled). This expulsion is best achieved with strong electromagnetic pulses (such as ion weaponry) which can not only eject the spirit from its housing, but harm or kill it in the doing.

As they are creatures created from the energies of the Netherworld, Helwraiths can return there easily enough, and bring other creatures with them if need be. This is of dubious use at first glance, as whatever challenges one might be facing in the physical galaxy will almost certainly pale in comparison to what one might find there. Nonetheless, this ability's practical applications are under exploration.

Being creations of the Dzara, these creatures are exclusively seen within their ranks. They are intelligent and reasoning beings, but are nonetheless created for absolute obedience to the Dzara's leadership, and will sneer at attempts to command them by anyone outside the Chain's ranks. This unprecedented full-sentience (a rarity for Helix-created creatures) is an unfortunate necessity, but one tolerated by Dzara command.

Given their very useful natural skillset, these creatures usually enjoy significant status and privilege within the Dzara. In many cases, they rank just below the Dread Three (Helix, Lirka Ka, and Darth Nefaron) themselves. As such, it goes without saying that they tend to be prideful, arrogant, and manipulative, constantly jockeying for more power and status.
 
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Delila Castillon

#GhostlyRedheadsReign
Helix Helix

Sorry for a delay! After looking this over, it feels this species isn't in the spirit of Star Wars, its giving me DnD vibes. The species can use technology(and learn new technologies!), have hobbies, and assist in basic vessel/technology maintenance by possessing it? The possessing a body and keeping it going through using it as a vessel does make sense to me, yet the other portions mentioned do not.

I would suggest either reworking the sub to be more Star Wars-y (this wookieepedia entry may be useful) or I can archive this submission.
 
Delila Castillon Delila Castillon


I'll admit I don't quite understand what the issue is, but I'll address these and see if I can't be clear on the offending issues (the better to bring them into compliance).

The species can use technology(and learn new technologies!

Learning is part of sentience/sapience, yes. Almost any thinking species can learn to utilize tools and technology, as per Wookiepedia's page on sapience.

have hobbies

What exactly is wrong with a sapient species being able to enjoy a hobby/recreation? I'm especially confused by this part, but I can remove it if you wish. I just wanted to give these guys a bit more depth beyond generic evil spirit vibes, and describe what they might do when not doing bad guy stuff.

assist in basic vessel/technology maintenance by possessing it?

Both possession and supernaturally controlling technology are well-documented throughout Star Wars, so I'm kind of confused here too. I just want to understand why exactly these features are problematic.
 
Helix Helix Delila Castillon Delila Castillon

I'm going to chime in here to cut to the chase.

The issue isn’t really individual mechanics (although some are strange due the species being ghost-based) - It’s the overall flavor profile of the submission. Nothing in it is technically impossible in Star Wars. Possession, Force spirits, Sith alchemy, etc. all exist. The problem is that when you step back and read it as a whole, the tone and conceptual framework feels more like D&D demons than Star Wars Force entities.

The way it's currently written does not align with the spirit of the Fandom and reads more like a port or crossover... Which we don't do.

Does that mean it's unsalvagable?

No - Far from it. It's mostly just the wording and tone. This is why the CJ gave you the option to make adjustments.

Helpful Notes:

There is an overarching theme of "Hell" and demons from the beyond but in the SW setting we'd usually refer to: Dark Side spirits, Force wraiths, Sithspawn, or entities bound through Sith alchemy... We don't have to be exact in the Lore because this is a creative space but it needs to lean more into Star Wars.

Even the Netherworld in Star Wars isn't typically treated like Hell...It's the Netherworld of the Force, a metaphysical afterlife tied to the Force itself. So when the submission frames them as literal demons from hell, it shifts the tone away from Star Wars and into fantasy which is what we want to avoid.

Going along with what I've already mentioned...This can also be noticed in the way the structure of an "officer-caste demon" species serves the Dread Three. It resembles infernal hierarchies which can often be seen in fantasy settings but no so much in SW. Additionally, abilities like possessing machinery to act as engineers or repair technology feel closer to supernatural fantasy ghosts than the way Force entities usually interact with technology. The almost "super soldier" posession is a little jarring too. Their influence tends to focus on living beings, artifacts, or the Force itself rather than mechanical maintenance...

If it was just one of these things it probably wouldn't raise an eyebrow but it's a combination of form and function that's throwing us. An example of a line that gives this impression:

Original: Helix set out on the bold and questionable road of weaponizing demons.

Star Wars: Helix began experimenting with binding hostile spirits from the Netherworld of the Force, seeking to weaponize them through Sith alchemy.

TLDR: The CJ is asking you to swing through the submission and make it more Star Wars and less D & D in nature. You don't need to change everything about it - Just tweak up the wording and consider the concept in a Star Wars setting.

Hope that helps!
 
Srina Talon Srina Talon Delila Castillon Delila Castillon

Fair points across the board, and I see the issue. I've gone through and tweaked some of the language. I've been using the wookiepedia article for demons as reference, but it's a bit light on detail, so I've been seeing how much I can fill in the gaps. Hopefully there's nothing too objectionable in there now, but if there's anything else that needs to go or be changed, please let me know and I will fix it asap.
 
Helix Helix Delila Castillon Delila Castillon

The thing to understand about the Wookie Demon article is that it is referring more to unknown creatures and superstition. Not religion as we know it, nothing biblical, nothing "Hell" related. You'll note that the Netherworld isn't mentioned in that article at all.

Example: Before the birth of the Jedi Order, many lone Force-sensitives were regarded as demons by those who did not understand their powers.

It's a culmination of misunderstood folklore/beings that couldn't be understood by conventional means. I can 100% relate to the stress of trying to fill in the blanks...We just need to make sure that the submission is still Star Wars coded at the end. I know it seems like an arbitrary line to draw, but unfortunately, it must be drawn, and the buck stops with me.

It appears that a few instances and examples of the word "demonic and leadership" were updated, but the structure of the submission is almost identical to the previous. I mentioned that it was having issues because of function and form, and if those things are not adjsuted the issue is still there. So, I'm going to start from scratch for you with a fresh review.

1.) Strengths: Be sure to list ALL of them. You have things hidden in the submission that are not explicitly stated...

- Combat Enhancement of Hosts: Shrugging off grievous wounds, fighting for days or weeks without sleep, snapping bones and armor with bare hands...That effectively gives the Helwraith the ability to create temporary super-soldiers, which is a major combat advantage but is not listed as a strength. You also say that Helwraiths gain access to their host's memories, skills, and abilities.

This is a problem because Star Wars Canon directly contradicts this for possession:

Mother Talzin Proved being able to use this ability when she possessed Dooku to fight Darth Sidious, though Sidious remarked that even if she had possessed Dooku's body she lacked all of his skill, Talzin was defeated easily.

Marka Ragnos possessed Tavion Axmis in 14 ABY in his bid to return to the material world. While possessing Axmis, he was able to use his powers through her.

Spirits that possess someone CAN use their innate powers, but that does not inherently come with their skills and memories. You will need to adjust the strengths accordingly and remove this aspect.

2.) Advanced Infiltration: The submission states they can spend months or years undercover while infiltrating command structures. That makes them highly covert agents whis is another major strength not listed.

3.) Technology Manipulation: It's mentioned "briefly" in strengths, but the body of the submission expands on it significantly. Items such as "possessing droids, controlling starship engines, and repairing or sabotaging advanced machinery." I will allow it for a "Sithspawn" but it needs to be added to the strengths accordingly, and it needs to be noted and managed according to the Codex. This states:

  • Species possessing extreme/unique powers, abilities, or attributes are advised to be balanced with suitable strengths and weaknesses. When creating your species consider actionable PvP related weaknesses to balance PvP related strengths.
  • Completely Force-sensitive species may not start off with fully developed Force Powers. That is a matter of the individual, not the race. They are born force sensitive, but that is a potential, rather than an absolute. All Force-sensitive species may have passive abilities that do not require training (improved reflexes, low-grade pre-cog, etc), but are prohibited from having active abilities (force lightning, telekinesis, etc). Exceptions are made for artificially engineered species (Sithspawn, etc), if they have been tailored for specific abilities. Racial abilities that are not affiliated with the Force (Ex. Zeltron Empathy/Pheromones) are exempted from this. These species should include appropriate weaknesses, such as difficulties with Force Null fields.

They are all force-sensitive, but their powers are not fully developed. This must be clear, so you may need to tone down some of the absolute wording. What they have the potential to do must be clear from what they are able to do now.

4.) Incorporeal Strengths: The strength is listed, but the weaknesses mentioned in the body of the submission are not.

They can freely pass through solid objects or energy barricades, often fading in and out of visibility as they do so. Energy bolts, slugs, and all manner of other weaponry simply pass harmlessly through them, though a truly overwhelming amount of fire can still disrupt their form.

5.) Weaknesses: For all that they can do, even on a base level, their combat weaknesses are not enough. What kind of "overwhelming fire" can disrupt them? They are incorporeal creatures of the Force. Can a strong Force-User not dispel them, light or dark? What about the strain that possession can put on the host body? Currently, the possession almost reads like an auto-hit. What about strong willed inviduals or trained force users? Do they have any agency against them? Spirits in Star Wars are usually tied to something. What about being tied to a nexus, artifact, or a summoner?

Since they interact heavily with machinery, technology should also threaten them. I suggest a tech-based counter because THAT fits Star Wars through and through. So, something like a weakness to ion weaponry, strong electromagnetic fields, or even certain shield systems that they can't pass through or can destabilize their form. There are so many creative ways to flesh them out that fit the Star Wars Universe, I could go on forever...

What about being vulnerable when they transition between the Netherworld and real space? It could weaken them or make them visible in the Force. What about a dependency on the Living Force? If there's no access to living things to drain, they could weaken and disperse. Possessing multiple minds could fragment them mentally...

Please understand that I DO NOT expect you to add all of these or even half of them. I'm just offering examples about what I'm referring to so that you aren't stuck at a loss, holding the bag, trying to guess what I mean. That would be a douche move. At the end of the day, I have no problem with OP species existing, but I expect them to be Star Wars, and I expect the legwork. If you help me, I'll help you.

The three things I'd recommend the most (other than what should be added because it was in the body of the sub):

Limit possession, strong-willed hosts can resist, and have a weakness to certain tech like ion.
 
Srina Talon Srina Talon Delila Castillon Delila Castillon

Alright, I've gone through and made the following changes as suggested, which I'll list here for the sake of documentation.

1: Added the part about increasing their host's physical capabilities into the Strengths section, and removed any mention of accessing skills or memories.

2: Removed the natural inclination towards infiltration entirely, that can just be left on a case-by-case basis and didn't serve much purpose.

3: Edited the parts in the Strengths section referring to possession/technology manipulation to make it more of a natural tendency/skill rather than an innate knowledge.

4: Put ion vulnerability under the weaknesses as suggested, as it makes sense that something attuned to possessing machines would be vulnerable to the same countermeasures.

5: Fleshed out the main sub a bit to make it clear that the possessive aspects can be countered or nullified by sufficient willpower on the part of the potential possessee.

If there is anything else, please let me know.
 

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