Private Healing the Healer

[Kyyrk]

LOCATION: Arriving at SpriteGate Shore
EQUIPMENT: Armored Tunic, Lightsabers (In Signature)
TAGS: Gianna Aegis
​

The mood aboard Voph's shuttle was somber, at best. Voph was the lone passenger, riding in the cabin undisturbed as he meditated on what was to come. The lone individual within the shuttle besides him was a crimson clad guard, who had insisted on accompanying Voph on all his appointments, public or private, since the venture to Ilum. Voph's hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, and the cloth that served as his mantle was wrapped close around his head. Voph's visit was no secret. In fact, one might say it had been a long time coming since the winter party hosted on his home planet.

The shuttle touched down on the landing pad at the small estate, and Voph disembarked shortly after. The Vylmiran Guard followed him down, head turned to ask a silent question. Voph lifted a hand in an equally silent answer, telling the guard to wait with the shuttle. He was safe here. No need for a bodyguard. As Voph strode deeper into the estate, he felt something...sour. And he knew it had little to do with the lemons. It came like an itch in the back of his mind. The Force was strong here. Bright, and mesmerizing. Akin to the brilliance that kept drawing him to Alderaan. But there was a sour undertone to it. And it was not one he brought with him.

Voph moved with a reverence that suggested he was almost afraid to touch anything. As if his very presence was an offense to a place such as this. While he was not fully dark, his presence cast a shade on his surroundings. Not a being that enacted the dark, but one certainly haunted by its scars. Voph made his way towards what appeared to be a guest house, sensing that his target was within. He'd met Gianna Aegis before, even if the two of them hadn't spoken at length. He knew at the least that she had been close with another associate of his, John Locke. Had. Voph didn't know what had transpired between the two. But Locke had no memory of her when asked. Voph couldn't help but wonder why.

As Voph entered the guest residence, he understood the source of the illness. Gianna stood over what he presumed to be a patient. But she seemed almost as sick as the person she was tending to. He stepped aside, and stood beside the doorway, hands folding at the small of his back as he waited. The thought crossed his mind that he should help her. But he knew little of the healing arts. It was best, perhaps, if he wait. A being like him didn't belong here. The Dark Side had tainted him. He was not fit to be among the Jedi. He was their enemy. The very bane of a place of light such as this. But Gianna needed his help. That much was readily apparent from what he saw before him. And Voph was ready and willing to provide it. "Master Aegis. My apologies, I did not realize you had other guests."

 

[Gianna Aegis]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore [Guest House]
WEARING: X-X-X
TAGS: Kyyrk

Sunlight filtered softly through the sheer curtains. It was dim enough not to bother the eyes of the occupants, but, present enough that they could tell the time of day. A fan twirled lightly overhead and the air was filled with a warm, spiced scent, that teased the nose and opened the passageways. It was designed to soothe and encourage a restful state. Too many passed through these days. Injured. Sickly, weak. Though the largest of the wars against the Mandalorians had stopped it seemed that there was no shortage of trouble. The universe was part of a two-sided coin. War and peace. She couldn’t do much for those that were heavily saturated in the Dark Side—But they didn’t often come here.​

​

The Light caused them to keep their distance. It wasn’t like the Holy Site on Monastery. It physically burned those with an alignment that ran towards shadows. This…This was softer. Serene. It would be a little too bright, for some, as if they’d been locked in the dark for years. Then suddenly—Light. Illumination. Warmth and acceptance of which they’d never known. There was no judgment here. Only rest. Harmony.​

​

Her current patient was a soldier from Theed that had contracted some sort of new infection in the Nabooian wilds. Everyone saw and idyllic world. But, the people knew what lay beneath the surface. Past the Gungan Cities. She rinsed a cooling cloth and wrung out the extra so she could place it back on his forehead. The attuned woman felt a presence nearing long before it arrived. It took her a moment to place him, but by the time his voice rang in her ears, she knew. The High Councilor of Vylmira. “Knight. Though…I’ve told you before. You may call me Gianna.” ​

​

There had been talk of progressing her rank in some circles after the events of Taanab but the flame-haired woman was hesitant. The summons had remained unanswered. She had seen many things. Master Pharr had passed into the Force in her stead, incapable, of seeing her suffer. Why should she be rewarded for his sacrifice? It seemed backward, strange, and undeserving.​

​

The soldier could not hear them. He was lost in a place that was far kinder than the waking world. She made sure of it. The agony he would have otherwise endured was too much. “One of the local microbes has undergone a mutagenic shift. What was once little more than flu symptoms has become deadly. It is cause for concern, because what can affect one Nabooian, contains the potential to affect us all.”​

​

“His sickness is…Aggressive. I’ve been keeping down his fever with analgesic suppressors and coma induction. White blood cell counts are extremely high, and I fear, his kidneys may shut down. There’s fluid in his lungs, an erratic heartbeat secondary to cardiac tamponade, and his liver is working overtime. It’s…Getting tired.”, she trailed off softly. Despite her appearance, her voice had not changed, and still filled the room with a dull sense of joy. Everything she touched seemed brighter. Less harsh. Strange, that it also applied to someone that was likely facing imminent death. “On the bright side—You needn’t worry. He isn’t shedding pathogens.” ​

​

Gianna paused. Some understood medical jargon, and on occasion, she forgot to hold consideration for those who didn’t. “He isn’t contagious. Just…Very, very sick.” ​

​

She let the cloth lay on his forehead before reaching out to rest her hands on his chest. One atop the other. The pale-skinned beauty exhaled and began to draw on the Force in the same way she drew breath. It was natural. Effortless. She channeled it through her form and a faint glow began to emanate from the very center of her being. It was something that could be seen and felt with and without sight.​

​

“I’ve been keeping him stable through the Force. It’s mutating fast, oddly enough, and might cure itself before it kills him. We just…Need more time. I can buy him that. Either to find a cure or let it run its course.” ​

​

Voph would be able to see the man begin to settle. He breathed easier. By the time Gianna stopped, he seemed to be visibly healthy. Even the sweating seemed to lessen. He would remain this way until the infection broke down what she had repaired. By this time tomorrow, he would need another treatment. Jade eyes opened and she sighed heavily. Her shoulders, too thin, bunched slowly while she tried to stem a soft dizziness that began at the base of her neck. “If he wakes—See that he eats. Diet, bland. Broth, banana mash, ghoba rice. Water. He’ll need an electrolyte cycle in an hour.”​

​

There was a medical droid that had been waiting patiently nearby. “Yes, Ma’am. Anything else?” ​

​

“Alert me if he destabilizes.” ​

​

The young woman pulled from her chair easily enough. Her slender form seemed to find every footstep as if she were made to be there, a part of the fixtures, versus some sort of interloper. Naturally tinted primrose lips formed a welcoming, tired smile, while she extended a hand to the blindfolded Miralukan. “Let us leave my patient to rest. Come. I’ll make you a cup of tea.” ​

​

She gestured toward the door. They would cross the property, return to the main building, and then perhaps get to the nature of his visit. He was truly a long way from home. ​

​

 

[Kyyrk]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore
EQUIPMENT: Armored Tunic, Lightsabers (In Signature)
TAGS: Gianna Aegis ​

Voph watched quietly as Gianna worked, though he was not sure if she spoke to him, to her medical Droid, or to herself. He understood most of the terms she used, even though he himself was no healer. He did not possess the expertise that Gianna might, but he understood the basics. As did any soldier from the war. Voph's brow knit in concern, as Gianna's movements drew attention to her figure. She was skinny. Far too skinny to be healthy. All the better that he had arrived when he had. Perhaps she needed his help, perhaps she didn't. Either way, Voph couldnt help but wonder if her current state was related to his visit.

As they walked, Voph commented quietly, "if your Droid can get me a sample of the virus, I would very much like the information from it." Voph turned his head to look out across the sweeping plains. "If it is as deadly as you say, a permanent solution would be best found quickly. Vylmira's labs would surely be a boon to such an effort." Voph's voice took on a wistful tone. Thinking back on eons past. "Naboo has always been one of my favorite planets. Calm. Peaceful. Of all the worlds I have visited, I think I missed this one the most."

He pointed off into the distance, at what, the naked eye could not discern. "There was a retreat, some kilometers that direction, where I stood guard over a dear friend of mine. A Princess of Naboo, destined to inherit the throne in her mother's hour of ailing health. But she abandoned it to pursue a position among the Sith. Bartering with the devils for the freedom of this world. To my knowledge, it never did succumb to imperial rule."

Voph turned back to Gianna as they arrived at the main building. "Your work here is admirable, Mistress Aegis." As instructed, he'd refrained from calling her Master. But his tone still carried a formality of one that was on a very strict leash. One who was present by only the good graces of his host. "If only the galaxy had more like you than I. It would surely be a happier place. Though you would do well to be mindful of your own health, if I may be so bold to say. You'll do your patients no good if you wither away into nothing yourself."

 

[Gianna Aegis]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore [Guest House]
WEARING: X-X-X
TAGS: Kyyrk

The Knight had probably been speaking to everyone, everything, in the room. Herself, for clarity. The medical droid for record-keeping. The High Councilor, so he wouldn’t think he’d walked into an infirmary infested with plague. This was not another Melida/Daan incident. The dead were not re-animating and devouring living tissue. It wasn’t a corrupted affliction. Just nature, natural science, that had spiraled out of control within the untouched depths of their waters. As she moved from the wooden chair, she could feel eyes on her person. Strange, because her visitor did not see in the traditional sense. ​

​

Still—She felt it.​

​

The flame-haired woman fell in-step beside the blind-folded Miralukan and began to lead the way back toward the main house. The modest estate was filled with cheerful, well-kept flowers, and twining vines that ran along the sides of the buildings. It almost seemed too picturesque. Too peaceful. The soft scent citrus and roses, combined with a sense of security, had a strange effect of dredging up distant memories. Some good, some not. It either promoted the good or helped her visitors overcome the bad.​

​

The closer they got to the temple at the back of the property the more visceral the feeling became. Safety. Understanding. Infinite patience. There was no judgment here. ​

​

That was what made her current state so strange. It would not be immediately obvious what had caused her light to dim, only, that she physically suffered. She was every bit as put together as she always was. Red locks twined about a plain copper comb. Half-up, half-down, with pristine robes in varying shades of cream and a vest of pale green. It didn’t change the fact that it was at least a size too big. In a place like this, it should have been near impossible to dwell here and be anything but well. Only, she wasn’t. ​

​

“As you wish. I can have my notes copied to a datapad before you depart.”, she responded kindly, obviously, seeing the reasoning in his request. Gianna had acquired different pieces of necessary equipment over the years but her resources were limited. She didn’t have the entire weight of a planet, or even a nation, supporting her efforts. Gia relied on donations and her own monetary means. Considering her vocation…It could sometimes be a struggle. “I would appreciate any solution you may be able to offer. My patient has a family and a life to return to…He does not deserve to suffer any longer than absolutely necessary.”​

​

A sentiment that was not her own washed over her when Voph spoke of Naboo. It was a doorway. She had to fight the instinct not to take a step back. With that single thread came a deluge, that for one single moment, she could make perfect sense of it. Years in a moment. A blur. Eventually, it eased, and she could focus only on what he intended. She would need to be more mindful in his presence. Empathy was just as much of a curse, as it was a gift, and was always a two-pronged sword. ​

​

“I don’t believe so. We like our freedoms a little too much…”, the edges of her lips curled just a little while she added a touch of humor. Jade eyes would express that the Knight meant no harm. But, it was true. Why else would she choose to take roots in the middle of nowhere? Nabooians were full of heart, however, they were also as stubborn as the dawn. Her head shook a little when he insisted on keeping to formalities but she let him have it. If it made him comfortable—Who was she to deny it? “It’s home.”​

​

“I think most people, had they the means, would take care of their home.” ​

​

To be truthful—Her words were not exactly correct. She treated everyone she met as if they were a friend, family, brother, or mother. In the end, they were always someone’s child. They were all bound by the Force, all part of it, and she would care for them all the same. That had never been more evident than Taanab. She had remained on-world for weeks tending to the wounded on both sides. Even, when some of the Mandalorians would rather kill her than accept aid. “If the galaxy had too many of me I think it would be a little boring…Don’t you?” ​

​

Another gentle tease. Her good nature would shine through all things, even, when he called her health into question. Her smile remained steady as she walked beneath the low hanging branches of a flowering tree. A delicate hand rose and the branches moved, rising, so that they no longer blocked their path. “Thank you.”, she murmured kindly, before turning toward the front door. ​

​

It wooshed open and she led her visitor though a modestly furnished living area. The space was serene, filled with local carpentry, and obviously made for more than one person. If he chanced a glance through the southern facing window he would see a few younglings playing in a shallow wading pool. Perhaps from the farmstead a few miles down? Gianna never worried, aside, from their happiness. “You don’t need to worry for me, though, I am grateful for the concern. The Force will provide.” ​

​

Gianna led him to the larger of two kitchens and gestured that he take a seat at a wooden kitchenette while she put the kettle on. Many relied on auto-chefs for their daily meals. She did not. Everything he ingested here was from scratch. Once done she picked up a tray of fresh lemon bars and sat them down before him. Little things, little sweets, that all her visitors seemed to love. ​

​

“Help yourself. Please, let me know if I can get you anything else. But…Tell me—”, she trailed off as her eyebrows knit together for a brief moment, furrowing, while she tried to discern his purpose. “—Why have you come? I did not expect anyone today, though, you are most welcome.” ​

​

She slowly took her seat. It was with the same achingly graceful movements that she’d held before. If Voph could see through the cracks of her well-intentioned façade…He could see the truth. She was tired. Deep within, more than that, she grieved. As if someone had passed. ​

 

[Kyyrk]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore
EQUIPMENT: Armored Tunic, Lightsabers (In Signature)
TAGS: Gianna Aegis

Voph nodded as his host offered to provide a record of the notes. "It would be appreciated. I am sure that his family would wish for his safe return. And it would do us well to avoid further incursion, guided or random." Voph didn't dwell on the idea, but it was valid, if slightly morbid. A virus with the ability to mutate on that scale would make an excellent basis for a bio-weapon. Not many beings stopped to such depths, but Voph had been charged to both keep and combat enough of them in his time to be wary of the true depths evil would reach.

Voph did not respond to her jest about the galaxy being boring. He frowned slightly, but the tilt of his head suggested it was not of her doing. As they stepped inside the main building, Voph paused, glancing to the side at the sounds coming from outside. Children, frolicking and playing in the water. Voph smiled softly at the notion, but he could feel the wave of sadness growing within him. He turned to follow his host, but his already solemn mood took a rather dark turn.

Gia, of course, did not know the truth of what had transpired on Vylmira not one week ago. The children served as a stark reminder. Voph sat down as instructed, hands folded before him and staring blankly at the table. Even when food was set before him, he did not stir. He sat in silence until Gia asked him why he had come. Voph did not answer immediately, instead reaching into his belt, and removing a flask. He undid the cap, and took a quick gulp, setting the metal item on the table in front of him. "I came because of something that happened during that party you attended on Vylmira."

Voph turned to look at Gia, internally working to suppress the pain he was feeling. He did not hold her gaze long, instead opting to look back at the table, idly rubbing his hands together as he tried to find the words he sought. "I...find it reasonable to assume that you are aware that something happened to John. He...was not himself at the party, and...upon several prods on my part, it became apparent that he has lost his memory."

Voph paused before looking back to Gia. "Through... unfortunate circumstances, I am...shall we say, intimately familiar with the effects of wiping and individual's mind. And I know when it's been done to someone." He sighed quietly, and looked away. "John doesn't remember you. Doesn't know you exist anymore. And it's killing him."

Voph took another swig from his flask. "I could...feel it in him every time he trailed off. He... Wants so desperately to remember you but he can't. My only question is..." He turned back to Gia. "Was it you? And if so, why?"

 

[Gianna Aegis]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore [Guest House]
WEARING: X-X-X
TAGS: Kyyrk

Naboo held many unexplored regions. Especially, those that lay deep beneath peacefully rolling waves. It wasn’t the first time that someone found their way to something they shouldn’t have. This was just the first time Gianna had seen it take the form of a mutated virus. It wouldn’t occur to her that someone would want to take such a terrible thing and make something terrifying from it. A malady like that was begging for a cure; Not weaponization. It wasn’t naiveté. She knew that the galaxy was full of things that were dark and cruel. After Taanab, how could she not?

It simply wasn’t the first place her mind went. It was full of light. Gentleness.

Deliberately decimating a world with a plague didn’t register.

The young woman felt his distraction when she made her way into the well-kept, rustic, eat-in kitchen. She couldn’t tell immediately what it was that drew his sadness; however, it wasn’t long before her heart put the pieces together. Was he projecting? Or was she focused too hard? Gianna couldn’t tell. The flame-haired woman could have never guessed the details of what it was that drew on his darker memories but she did recognize the ache.

There was no pain so powerful, so poignant, as a parent that had lost a child.

Gianna did not mention it out of respect. Instead, she busied herself readying the dessert bars while he sat down. It always surprised her how well a Miralukan could see without their eyes. She knew that all things were possible in regards to the Force—But that didn’t mean she stopped being amazed by it. When she sat down at the table, she felt a swell of concern rise from beneath her sternum. Anytime someone approached a conversation with a flask in hand it rarely boded well.

Her lips formed a gentle frown when he spoke of the gathering on Vylmira. Her thoughts immediately trailed back to the evening with piercing clarity. She could feel the struggle. The attempt to suppress his pain. For a Jedi not so sensitive to the emotional states of those around her, perhaps, he might have succeeded. Her right hand came to rest across her heart. She didn’t only sense pain. She felt it—As if it were physical. Her own.

Then it came. The reason for his visit. John.

Pain welled. It overtook what she felt from the High Councilor and buried it beneath a wave of emotion she had no name for. Her expression never changed, but jade eyes that reflected honeyed starlight in every glance seemed to dim. “I am aware.”, she murmured softly, honestly, but with tones that suggested this was the last thing she wanted to discuss. Still. She would not lie.

The notion that it was killing him nearly caused her to flinch. She didn’t bother correcting him. John could still remember her. He knew who Jedi Knight Gianna Aegis was. He knew she was a healer. He knew where she lived. He knew her love of lemons and sour fruit that most people wouldn’t touch. It was only his own heart he no longer recalled. The memories that made them close. Every touch, big and small, wiped away and replaced with inane banality. A strictly professional relationship. As it always should have been.

Gianna remained silent for a long moment. Processing. The answer to his question was simple enough. High Councilor Voph was from an age that had long since passed. He would know the rules. He would know every tenant she had studied as a child. Her eyes grew soft, though, she didn’t break his gaze. Voph would know in that instant that she was the reason John’s memories seemed incomplete. “You are correct. I altered his memories on Illyria. John knows I exist. He just…Doesn’t remember things as they were.”

Her chest felt tight. She paused. Every time she remembered his face…Remembered his anguish when she explained that her heart wasn’t her own to give—It was hard to breathe. “I erased myself…Because I love him with everything I am. Because I love him, and he loves me.”

And that affection…The kind that shook the earth, that she could feel, spanning star systems—Could not exist for her. It was wrong.

 

[Kyyrk]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore
EQUIPMENT: Armored Tunic, Lightsabers (In Signature)
TAGS: Gianna Aegis

Voph sighed quietly. There was a knot in the middle of his chest, burning with...shame? Disappointment? Voph was not sure he could identify the feeling properly. Or that he really cared to identify it. He looked down at the flask in front of him. "I know." The words were hardly a whisper. He knew they were in love. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. "You might never understand what I mean when I say that...the galaxy is a tapestry. The Force is woven through everything. And to look upon it, and see it for how it truly is..." Voph looked up at Gia. "I don't know that I would be able to describe it. But to see how the Force has bound the two of you together..." Voph took another gulp from his flask. His head began to ache in that all familiar way. He...wanted to remember. Needed to remember. He was...sad. He...missed something. SomeONE. But he couldn't think who. Or why.

Voph leaned forward over the table, and rested his forehead in the palms of his hands. "I understand why you did it. Because they forbid such a thing. Because they're scared of what comes after." Voph didn't stir for a long moment after saying this. Finally, however, he looked up, folding his arms across the table in front of him, and sniffed quietly. "Don't do it like this. He may forgive you, when he learns what happened. But trust me. This...this is no way to live." Voph smiled sadly at her for a moment. "If it is not meant for the two of you to be together, then that is for the both of you to decide. Not you. The Jedi have their rules. And I respect that. You respect that. But don't do this to him just because you don't have the strength to tell him no. Don't do this to yourself."

Voph's head turned away to look towards the window. He was silent for a long moment, then said, "You know I don't remember my name? Nor my parent's names. Home, family, friends...All of it...gone." Voph looked back to Gia. "Because I did what I had to do. The Sith threatened our home. My home. And I stopped it. I took the fall. But the price I paid was too great. Too many lives were sacrificed. I...I had become one of them. And for that, my people would have executed me." Voph watched Gia for a moment, as he thought back on the false memories, retellings of his own past that he could not remember.

"The woman I loved...My dearest friend...couldn't bear to see that happen. As I had done what must be done, she also did what must be done. Now I am haunted by ghosts of a woman I can't remember, no matter how hard I try." Voph took a third gulp from his flask, head hanging under the weight of his story. "She died a long time ago. And along with her, any hope of remembering her. And...I know that I'll never have her again. But it would have been nice to hold her memory. To remember what she meant to me." Voph sighed again, reaching up to rub his forehead. "If you love him, let him know you for who you are."

Voph looked up at Gia again, an air of resolve forming around him. "It will hurt him. It will hurt you. I'll not sit here and tell you the easy way, because there isn't one. It will hurt. But you will both be better for it. I...know that you and I are...acquaintances at best. But John is my friend. The only friend I have. The only friend I have ever had. But I understand the convictions you hold so dear. You will have my support, if you chose to undo what you have done. And to tell John that the two of you cannot be together. It will be hard. But you will both make it through."

 

[Gianna Aegis]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore [Main House - Kitchen]
WEARING: X-X-X
TAGS: Kyyrk

The fact that he knew burned her. Was it so obvious? ​

​

Voph explained how it was that he knew and the flame-haired Jedi remained silent. The steam rose from her teacup in even waifs, rolling upward, and jade eyes followed the curls as if it were incredibly interesting. She could feel his focus. “I understand.”, she breathed quietly while he tried to find words to explain what should have been impossible. She had seen the bonds that the Force created in others. How it tended to bind them. It was a little disconcerting that she could not see herself clearly.​

​

The blindfolded Miralukan leaned closer and still her eyes remained low. She brought the teacup to her lips and took a tentative sip. It was still too hot. But it was better than acknowledging the conversation that was slowly weaving its way through her merry sunlit kitchen. “It’s not a matter of being frightened, exactly, though I assume that does hold a place in this. It’s what I know to be true. If I had to choose between John and another…” ​

​

“I don’t know if I could choose correctly. Objectively. I know…I know he can’t.” ​

​

That was why she needed to stay away. Why he needed to stay away. She could still feel his admission from Taanab deep in her bones. What he had been tempted to do, willing to do, when he thought the Mandalorians had shot down her frigate. John was willing to kill for her. To kill, because of her. Her presence in his life, knowledge of her existence, was harmful. Voph spoke of forgiveness…Her head shook. Hard. “…I don’t seek forgiveness. It is my sin to bear...”​

​

For John—She would bear it gladly.​

​

The sad smile the High Councilor offered struck a chord. She sensed a familiarity with the topic at hand and couldn’t help but acknowledge a certain kinship he exuded. Someone had removed his memories. Wiped his mind. This was evident long before he explained further. Voph seemed to think that she hadn’t denied the Confederate Minister, but she had, and the pain that followed was insurmountable. Voph looked out the window while weaving his tale and the pressure decreased.​

​

Instead, it was replaced with his feelings, his emotion, seeping into her being. If the Jedi knew him better, she would have risen from the table to wrap her arms around him. Required or not, the need to console, to soothe, was written along her bones. The phantom suffering was distant. But still there. And drawn back to the surface by the situation with his friend.​

​

“He will learn to know me again. As a colleague.” ​

​

Her words tasted of ash. She set down her teacup with an audible clink and closed her eyes for a long moment while she sorted her thoughts. For a woman that was the epitome of composure and gentleness, it was almost painful to watch her exterior crack. She was already hurt. That ship had long since left the port. The pain that rolled through her being was that of a brand, searing, and constant. It had not ebbed in his absence.​

​

“I am an empath, Voph. A true empath. I don’t have to focus on you to understand how this makes you feel or to grasp your motivations in coming to me.”, Gianna began quietly. Her words were sweetly lilted but touched with a sadness so deep that there seemed to be no end. It would become clear that she could never accept forgiveness from John, no matter the form, because she could not forgive herself. There was no betrayal that ran deeper. No wickedness so profound—Than to delve into the sanctity of the mind and steal that which made one who they were. Memory. “I told John that my heart, my life, is not mine to give. I told him the truth. The pain he exuded…” ​

​

“I’ve never felt anything like it. He was in shock. Tried to rationalize, come to grips, but in the end? There was only sorrow. To feel the heartbreak of someone you love…To know that you are the cause…To know that you can end their suffering?” ​

​

She breathed.​

​

“How could I not take away such agony?” ​

​

Gianna slowly stood up from the table. The kettle was going off. More hot water for more tea. Everyone knew that a good cup solved even the worst of problems. Her eyes overflowed the moment she gave the force user her back. The Jedi Knight didn’t cry often, but here, she couldn’t help it. Shame caused her to hide her tears despite the fact that he could probably sense it. Hear it.​

​

“I appreciate your offer, but, I don’t know if I can undo what has been done. He is safe, now. I can take my love for him and bury it. Treasure it—Where it will grow and remain evergreen. John will forget in time. He will…Adjust.” ​

​

He had to. If Voph only knew… If he could feel what she felt, on Illyria, he would know.​

​

Gianna could not plunge that knife back into the man she loved.​

 

[Kyyrk]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore
EQUIPMENT: Armored Tunic, Lightsabers (In Signature)
TAGS: Gianna Aegis

Voph's brow furrowed deeply as Gianna spoke. Empath. That word triggered a deep response from him. Empath. Just like her. Though the gesture conveyed a fair amount of concern, it was very clearly not directed to Gia in its entirety. It caused him to remember something. Or some one. Not that the girl would notice, as she soon became consumed by her own emotions, turning her back to him. His head bowed. A sudden feeling of vulnerability washed over him. He did not hold the secrets he used to, but he still didn't like it when others could so easily read his true emotions.

"Pain...is a natural aspect of the order of life. As a healer, you know this as well as any." Voph sighed quietly as he leaned back in his chair. "Through pain we become stronger. I am not misguided enough to suggest that one inflict pain for the purposes of growth, but one cannot deny that with pain comes learning. John will heal. He will understand. And he will forgive you. He will move on. He will find someone else. Someone that made him as happy as you did."

Voph watched Gia for a moment, as she sobbed with her back to him. Of course he knew that she was crying. A turned back mattered little to a being that saw as he did. His arms folded over his chest, and he looked down at the table. "There's another option." Voph mused quietly to himself for a moment. "Embrace it. Not something the Jedi would instruct. Or...look kindly on, for that matter, but...why run from it?" Voph sighed quietly, shifting in his seat. "Pain may be part of life. But so is Love. And some days..." Voph shook his head as he continued to stare a hole in the table. "It was all that kept me going. In the dark depths of despair, my love for my wife and child was the only solace I had. Doing what I did to protect them. To provide for them. And...knowing that I was loved in return...well..." Voph scoffed at this. "They wouldn't, if they knew what I've done."

Voph looked back at Gia after a moment of silence. "The Jedi believe in purging all emotion. The Sith believe in becoming consumed by it. But there is a balance. John loves you. You love him. You don't have to be consumed by it. Just let it guide you. Motivate you. The Jedi would teach you to fear connection. To fear your ability to love. Or be loved. But I can tell you...love itself is not evil. Never was, and it never will be."

 

[Gianna Aegis]

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LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore [Main House - Kitchen]
WEARING: X-X-X
TAGS: Kyyrk

Gianna stiffened. ​

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Voph couldn’t have known how his words would affect her. It was one thing for her to imply such things, but it was another entirely, to hear it from him. She was gladdened he thought John would heal. Understand. She had no right to ask for his forgiveness. She had no right to feel a swell of sadness and loss at the thought of the Minister finding someone else. That was what she wanted. What he needed. Wasn’t it?​

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She kept her back to the blindfolded man. She knew, that he knew, but the illusion allowed her to maintain what little dignity she could muster. Taking herself from the picture had been the right thing to do. The only thing. If that was the case—why did it feel so wrong? ​

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“Embrace it.”​

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Her shoulders tightened when her arms crossed over her chest. As if the act could somehow protect her from the temptation that Kyyrk presented. Embrace it? Accept it? Allow their affections to pour forward regardless of the consequences? What she felt for John was powerful. Tangible. Jedi had destroyed themselves, fallen to the dark, for far less. This was forbidden fruit. ​

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This was the very thing Jedi were schooled to avoid at all costs. She should have locked herself away. Meditated more. Fasted, more. Perhaps gone to Monastery to seek the guidance of a Master. ​

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The memory of a kiss, far too short, caused a shiver to run down her spine. ​

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“…He will never forgive me.” ​

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And he shouldn’t, nor, would she ever ask for it. Voph would know that from before. His words in some circles would have made perfect sense. For Gianna…It was agony. All of the things he said they could keep it from being, it already was, and she didn’t know how to change that. “Love is never evil—But he consumes me. Enough that I went against my own principles to try and set him free.” ​

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“I don’t know how to find balance. How to maintain it. He thought I was dead on Tanaab and told me that he wanted to kill them all for the loss. Murder. Some, innocent people. In my name.” ​

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Her eyes pressed closed. How could she be so selfish? To place others at risk—Just so she could be happy? To have this love was to court the slaughter of hundreds if someone managed to cut her down. Her free hand reached up and brushed rapidly at her cheeks. ​

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“We consume each other. We don’t react rationally. We don’t…We can’t stop. If he knows we’ll never be able to see each other again.” ​

 

[Kyyrk]

LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore
EQUIPMENT: Armored Tunic, Lightsabers (In Signature)
TAGS: Gianna Aegis

Voph sighed quietly, pushing himself to his feet. He stared blankly at the back of Gia's head for a moment, before turning his head to look out the window towards the children still playing down the path. "You're scared because you've hidden from it all your life. And now that you have it, you don't know what to do with it. How to use it."

Voph stepped over to the window and leaned a hand against the wall beside it, stooping to look out down the field. "John is willing to kill on your behalf, yes. Frankly...it's natural. Love will drive people to actions they previously didn't think possible. All because they wish to keep what they have. It's a dark desire that lurks in all our hearts, not just something induced by love or grief."

Voph turned back to look at Gia. "John's only human. As are you. Mistakes will be made. But never out of love. John wasn't going to kill a planet because he loved you. It was because he was grieving you. All I ask is that you take the risk, and see what might come from doing the right thing."

Voph folded his arms over his chest as he exhaled quietly. "I'll...as you humans say, keep an eye on him. Keep him from doing anything rash. Just let things take their course. See where it takes you."

 

[Gianna Aegis]

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LOCATION: SpriteGate Shore [Main House - Kitchen]
WEARING: X-X-X
TAGS: Kyyrk

The sound of the chair scraping the floor was harsh enough that it caused her lips to press tightly together. It was a noise that almost felt like it was scraping along the walls of her chest. The Knight tried to compose herself. Voph had come all this way to see to the wellness of his friend. He hadn’t come to watch her break and sob over what could never be. The words that followed were hollow…Barely there. Love. “It will destroy us both.”

Perhaps she didn’t know how to use it. But, Jedi were never meant to. Forming attachments was a quick path to the dark. If she went through with it there was nothing to hinder or temper their wants and desires. What would happen when she chose him over all others? What would happen when he did the same. Again. Gianna visibly flinched when Voph claimed that John’s willingness to kill for her was natural. “How? How can that be natural?”

How could her presence, driving him to murder, be natural? How could that be normal?

Her form turned so that she could face him again. Yes, they were only human. That was the problem. She wasn’t built to withstand both her duties to the Force and the duties to herself. How could she protect John while keeping to the rest of her oaths? The only way revolved around removing herself from the picture. But…Even that, was a poor solution. It was hurting him.

“…There is no way through this. If I restore him…”

She paused. Her eyes closed and pain blossomed in her expression. It was sharp, deeper than he might have assumed, but present all the same. It was all she hid from the light of day. All that she mourned when she spent her days in fasting and meditation. Almost as if one of them had died. “If I restore him—It will end in disaster. But if I don’t—There’s a possibility that he’ll keep suffering.”

They were damned either way.

A heavy sigh escaped her and she slowly deflated. If John was spiraling without his memories? She would resolve to meet Voph halfway. She had to. What was the point of removing his pain if it only resulted in more?

“When I see him next…If what you say is true? I’ll remove the mental blocks. I’ll let him remember.”

She didn’t actually promise, however, her tone was firm. Gianna always kept her word.

No matter what.