Private Haunted By the Memory Of You

[Revna]

Tags: Jackson Lesan
Wearing: casual traveling clothes in darker colors with a splash of red, a black cloak with hood
Gear: a vibroblade, and a standard issue blaster pistol in a holster at her hip


Revna sat in a booth in a rather unassuming town on a desert planet named Jakku, sipping on an iced cup of caf she had ordered while she waited patiently for her prey to come to her. No one around her within the tavern seemed aware of who or what she was, and this was all by design as she did her absolute best to keep her Force presence hidden.

Especially here, being so close to the Jakku Jedi Enclave. She was a Sith, practically sitting in the den of the Jedi themselves. She couldn’t afford to not be hidden. But, contrary to what most might think or believe, Revna wasn’t here for nefarious reasons.

No. She was simply here to see someone; a young man with whom she had crossed blades with a couple months prior while on a mission with her Sith Mentor and his forces. A young Jedi she had almost killed. Probably should have, by Sith standards. Instead, she had wounded him-her Sith sword leaving an ugly wound on his face that no doubt would have left behind a decent scar- then retreated when her position had become compromised, choosing to live to see and fight another day. But from that moment onward, the young Sith woman found herself facing a problem she hadn’t anticipated: her memories and thoughts being haunted by the young man. So much so that it had begun to impact her training and her studies. She had spent weeks trying to understand the reason why she couldn't get him out of her head, but every time she shut her eyes, his face was there staring back at her. No amount of meditation or days cram packed with obligations and duties to do could cast him away from her. It was almost as if the Force was the one behind all of it, trying to push her in a direction where she would follow its leading.

So she made the perhaps reckless decision to figure out why he was haunting her like this, by finding him and letting the Force answer that burning question. That was why she was here, in the heart of her enemy’s territory. She had followed the tug of the Force, and let it guide her to this point.

Finding the Jedi and his location had not been easy. It had been like looking for a needle in a planet-wide haystack…but she was resourceful and intelligent and had used the resources and web-like network her Sith Mentor had built up to aid her in her search...all while doing so under the nose of the Sith Lord (or so she hoped). She had done her searching in secret, made her plans in secret, and had waited for a time when Darth Strosius was away to tend to other matters within the Sith Order to make her escape from Formos aboard one of the many smuggling ships that came in and out of the spaceport, and began her hunt in earnest. The Sith Lord wouldn't be back for some time, and hopefully she would be back at home base before he returned and discovered she was gone. Others at the Dresuoti would notice her missing, sure, but she hoped that they would assume she was on a mission and not rat her out.

Revna knew that her Mentor would definitely not be pleased to discover that she had gone out on an unsanctioned “mission”. She had left her home base without so much as a word to anyone. It was incredibly foolish and dangerous, but she felt that she had little choice in the matter. She doubted the stoic and masked Sith Lord would approve of her taking leave from her duties to go visit with a Jedi.

Maybe he would have if he had been under the assumption that she was going to kill said Jedi. But that was not her plan. At least, not right now.

She took another sip of the caf, relishing the refreshing coldness that intermingled with the bitter caf bean taste that was blended with assorted sweeteners, and continued to wait with the patience of a hunter. She had managed to find a way to slip a request for the Jedi’s presence at this tavern, hoping that the town’s proximity to the Enclave would draw him in without too much issue. She hadn't know his name at the time, only a description of him, and had used the excuse that he had helped her a while back and she only wished to thank him in person. Thankfully, the individual who had agreed to pass her message along didn’t probe much further than that, and had gone away to find the young Jedi…and in the process had let slip the young man’s name to her:

Jackson.

She hoped that when he saw her and eventually recognized her, that he wouldn’t blow her cover. She knew for a fact that her Mentor wouldn’t come to her rescue if she found herself in a compromising situation, or captured by the Jedi, being that this little escapade she was on was unauthorized. The stakes were high, and the danger of exposure extreme, but sometimes following the prodding of the Force required one to take a leap into the unknown.

Besides, Revna could use this little outing as a means to learn more about her supposed enemy, and to satisfy the ever hungry need she had to learn and gain knowledge of things she didn’t understand.

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

A mirror was designed to do one thing… reflect what was in front of it. Jackson had been spending too much time in front of the mirror recently. The scar was something he was still getting used to. He had been fortunate that the eye had not been lost. The wound had been deeper than what any of the field medics had known. They had been correct in their original assessment. The bacta had helped, but the slash had definitely scarred.

It had been no more than a week that Jax had been without a bacta patch. The new skin was still pink, and the scar tissue was unmistakable. It would always serve as a reminder to keep his lightsaber up, but also it ensured he would never forget his first encounter with a Sith.

He would not hesitate again.

Jax ran his right hand through his hair as he sighed and walked away from the mirror. Perhaps he could forget the scar was there. If the pain would only subside from the dull ache that seemed to be hanging on as if life depended on it. Pain killers took the edge off, though some in the villages surrounding the Jedi Enclave had tried convincing the young Jedi he needed to try using death sticks or spice to manage it all.

Uncle Judah would have freaked out if Jax had taken them up on the offer. It was as much a deterrence as simply not wanting to. They were going to keep hitting him up though. It happened every time he went to the markets to run his weekly errands in the past couple of months. The enclave had certain needs, and Jackson found it easiest to take care of his own while he was at it. The first of which was something cold to drink.

Jax hated feeling dehydrated, so he was constantly drinking water. He had his favorite booth. The vendor knew him well enough, and treated him with dignity. His injury had never come up between the two of them in their conversations. Somehow the man found a way to normalize what Jax was going through without even bringing it up. That brought more healing to the Jedi than any amount of medicine could.

His water came with a note.

“What’s this…”

“Some pretty brunette handed it to me. You seemed to have left some kind of impression.”

“Huh…”

Jackson Lesan… ladies man… who knew. That was certainly more a Judah thing than it was his. The last thing he needed was anyone trying to compare him to the most senior Lesan on that front. Still, Jackson was curious. There were not too many brunettes he knew that he would have left an impression on… was it Addy maybe?

As soon as he arrived at the tavern though, he knew. His stomach just about dropped out of him completely while his heart leaped into his throat. Of all the brunettes that he could have left an impression on, she was not the one he wanted to see. Jax could have gone an entire lifetime without seeing her again. She was the reason he had a scar on his face.

Something was different about her. Her appearance was not what he would have expected of a Sith, a smuggler or mercenary sure, but not a Sith. Jackson swallowed hard, sure he had been spotted already. He had come this far, so he might as well see what she wanted. It was a public place, so at least he could assume she was not there to kill him. This was the exact kind of atmosphere a person chose to keep conflict at bay, at tempers in check.

“You,” he said as he sat across from her. “Come for a look at your handiwork?”

 

[Revna]

Tag: Jackson Lesan


She was almost done with her iced sweetened caf when the door to the tavern opened and she felt a Force presence enter into the establishment. It drew her eyes in that general direction immediately as her belly tightened and she physically tensed when she saw who it was.

The Jedi she had fought. He was here. He had actually come, just as she had hoped.

He looked around the tavern briefly before their eyes met, and she knew that he knew who she was. She could almost feel his apprehension from where she sat, and she half expected him to turn around and walk out, leaving her hanging. She wouldn’t have blamed him if he had.

If she were in his place, she certainly would have walked out.

He hesitated, and she could see a flash of something, memories perhaps, cross his face before he walked over and sat down at the table she was at, sitting across from her. He remarked, perhaps a bit bitterly, if she was there to “admire” her handiwork.

Her stormy eyes traced the pink scar that marked his face, not bothering to hide the fact that she was looking at it more closely. He had called attention to it…not that it would have been hard to miss. She tilted her head ever so slightly to the left-a thing she did when she was trying to figure something out-before her eyes looked briefly around the tavern once more at the other patrons before she looked back at him.

Last time they were this close she had been on a warfront and he had been trying to arrest her, and she had been trying to fight him.

“Perhaps it serves as an important lesson. Always keep your blade up when on the field of battle. You never know when your enemy will strike their blow. It was one of the first lessons the Battlemaster taught me when I started learning how to use a blade for combat.” she replied in a low voice, devoid of any sort of negative emotion. Her gaze flickered to the scar again, and her brows dipped ever so slightly in a frown. She was familiar with the pain that he no doubt was still feeling…both the physical and the emotional pain.

She had done that to him. Wounded him, left a permanent mark on his skin-something he would see everyday for as long as he lived. She should have felt proud, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, she had her own scars that were reminders of sufferings she had endured. Once, those scars had been a reminder of her status as a slave. Now they were a symbol of her fight for freedom.

Not to mention the scar on her left flank from her more serious injury procured from one of the battles she had fought in a couple months prior still itched as it healed.

“I do not regret doing what I did.” She said before she paused for a moment, her heart practically hammering away in her chest from her sudden anxiousness and nerves. “But neither am I…excited to see it.” Revna tore her gaze from the young man’s face and looked down into the last bits of her iced caf. She had suddenly lost the desire to finish the drink, and gently pushed it to the side for a server to come and take whenever they swung by the table again, folding her hands on the table before her, purposefully done so that he could see her hands, and know that she had no intention of reaching for the blaster at her hip to finish him off.

“No, seeing my ‘handiwork’ is not why I have come, Jackson.” the little Sith woman said quietly, letting his name slip of her tongue with a soft hiss as she raised her eyes to meet his once more.

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

Now she was teaching him lessons in combat. Had he not already thought about it, he would have been offended more than he already was. The mystery in front of him is why he stayed, however. She was there to seek him out, but not to hurt him. He might as well give it a chance considering she had gone to a lot of work to track him down.

Jackson…

Apparently she had even learned his name. It was odd hearing it from her, mainly because it was not the name he was accustomed to going by. Jax was what his friends called him, but that was not a name she was going to get…

…ever.

There was no way they were going to be friends. How could he be friends with someone who had hurt him so badly. Her eyes did float to the scar, and he was conflicted about her response. How could it be that she was not excited to see it. Did Sith not take pride in the pain they inflicted on their prey or their enemies?

He just nodded.

“I don’t need you to rub it in. I am actually better than that… I just…”

Jax took a sip of the water and asked the server for a menu when they came.

“...some of what you said seemed a little conflicting. I was confused.”

He set the menu down.

“You confuse me.”

That truth came with a shrug. He ordered a noodle dish of some kind and handed the menu back to the server. It was quiet, a little. But Jackson eventually broke the silence with a question.

“So why did you come then?”

 

[Revna]

Tag: Jackson Lesan


The little woman remained quiet, respectfully letting the young man sitting before her respond to her words. A waitress came by the table with a menu for the Jedi, and looked at Revna almost expectantly. She ordered some water, but no food. Her stomach was too full of knots for her to eat right now.

She offered a small smirk when he said that she had confused him, and the things she had said had been a bit conflicting. It wasn’t the first time she had heard that her beliefs were conflicting…especially when they were held up against the wider practices and beliefs of the Sith.

The young Jedi, Jackson, ordered a meal for himself before silence fell between them. It was a tense silence, and Revna couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that a Sith and a Jedi were sitting at the same table, and they weren’t trying to kill each other.

…yet.

Revna had no intention of causing issues. And while she could have intruded into the mind of the man before her with her own and listened in on his thoughts, his intentions…she chose not to. Sometimes, the mystery of the unknown was better than knowing what may come. But, she was still somewhat tense and ready for action should it come.

The man before her finally broke the silence and asked her the question she had both been waiting to hear, and dreading to answer.

The reason why she had come to find him.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, accepting the glass of water from the waitress.

“After we…parted ways…I went about business as usual. Went home. Went back to my training, the things I knew. Then…” She paused and pursed her lips a little. Was she seriously about to confess this to him? To a Jedi? Her sworn enemy? At least, that’s what he should have been to her.

“...then, I started seeing you in my mind. Every time I closed my damn eyes, your face was there, staring back at me.”

A flash of irritation rippled through her, but she quickly quelled it. She didn’t want her presence to be given away in this place, not when she was so close to who knew how many Jedi who could easily have killed her. She was confident in her own skills, but she was still an Acolyte, still learning. She wasn’t foolish or stupid enough to think that she’d be able to handle her own against older, wiser, more experienced Jedi.

“It was beginning to impact my training, my studies. Enough so that those in charge over me noticed, and not in the way I wanted them to. I tried meditating, I tried overworking myself, I tried training extra hard until I was practically falling unconscious. I even tried burning the image of you out of my head with anger and hatred. But nothing worked. It drove me crazy.” she hissed through clenched teeth. She then blinked and took a sip of water to wet her suddenly very dry mouth.

“I began to think that…maybe…the Force was trying to tell or show me something. So instead of running away from it, I stopped to listen, and to see. Then I came up with the brilliant idea of finding you, so I could find some damn answers. Easier said than done, when I had no idea what your name was or even where you could be found. Truthfully, I could have gone the rest of my life without ever seeing you again. I think it would be safe to assume you feel the same.”

The waitress swung back by the table with the bowl of noodles he had ordered and set it down in front of him before walking away. Revna let her eyes follow the woman’s retreating back, her skin tingling and her head buzzing. She hadn’t felt this vulnerable with someone since her slave days, and part of her was telling her to just forget it all and leave before she got herself into an even bigger mess than what she was already in.

Instead, she stayed sitting where she was, even crossing one leg over the other at the knee. It kept her from bouncing or tapping her foot in nervousness. She lowered her eyes to her folded hands on the table before her, falling silent herself.

“All this to say…that I came here because of you. You’re clearly not dead, so I want to understand, to learn, why you are haunting me like this.”

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

Haunting was the word she wanted to use. Jackson did not know how he knew that, maybe it was because it was the word he would have used. It was odd. He should not have continued to appear in her mind as such, unless she felt guilty, or as she put it the force was telling her something. The padawan could not really speak to it as he was constantly reminded of the woman every time he looked in a mirror. It was not a pleasant thing either. He was forced to look at the wound she had left, and knew it was a combination of his own mistake and her intent.

It was an unavoidable truth between them, one which created the tension that remained thick between them.

They had both tried to harm the other.

Her admission should have moved the Jedi, but in a way it accomplished the opposite. He should have been flattered, and would have had they not tried to kill each other at their last meeting. Then she did use the word… haunting.

Jax stared at his noodles.

“The force does things sometimes. It connects people for reasons. I would not be able to even suppose why the force would do that with you… about us.”

He started with the broth. It tasted good, and the noodles were a bit on the mushy side, but that was how Jackson liked them. It was a quirk of his, but that was where he was at with it. The best part of the dish though, the soft boiled egg. While he tasted the rest of it to start, he really wanted the egg. The meat was also something he knew would hit the spot. Unfortunately the turn of events had his appetite turning on him.

Jax forced himself to eat regardless.

“I will say… I did not expect that you were wanting to help the boy. I empathize with the fact you have a past you would like to spare others from. I can maybe even understand how it took you down the path you are on now. But we do the same thing. Jedi help. Did you really think that I was going to leave that boy with some orphanage?”

He looked at the soup and then looked up.

“I know what it is like to be alone and unwanted. I would have never abandoned that boy to the same fate.”

 

[Revna]

Jackson Lesan


At first, Revna wanted to balk and reject the young Jedi’s words, saying that there was no ‘us’, at least-that was what her mind growled at her as she listened to his response about the inner workings of the Force.

Was it…possible? Had the Force played some cruel trick on her and somehow tried to form a connection between her and a Jedi, of all people?

“The Force must have a strange sense of humor then if it is trying to…form a connection.” She rumbled, voicing her thoughts aloud as she watched him regard his meal before him.

She could tell that he was struggling to eat his noodle dish, even though it smelled delicious. He pushed himself through and continued to enjoy the meal as best he could, given the circumstances. When he finally spoke again, it was about a topic that had perhaps perplexed him: her saving the orphaned boy a couple months back, when he had first come across her.

She could have fed him lies or deception, as it was true that the Sith were rather good at that. But she chose the harder route: speaking the truth.

“When I saw you come around that corner, and I realized who and what you were…all I felt was fear for that boy. All I wanted to do was get him out of the situation we found ourselves in. I fully expected a fight. I expected you to fight me, and I wanted to spare him the sight of that, spare him from further fear.” Revna paused again briefly before she continued.

“ ‘The path that I am on now’? And what might that be? I’m curious to hear it from a Jedi’s perspective.” She scoffed lightly. “No…we don’t really do the same thing. We are not the same. If we were, you wouldn’t have tried to arrest me.” She growled in a low voice before she shook her head again, but continued along to answer his more direct question. “I wasn’t assuming you were taking him to an orphanage. I assumed you would be taking him to the city center where all of the ships were at since that was where the evacuations were taking place. I didn’t want to see another child end up in chains somewhere else. I had it in my power to see to it that he remained safe and sound and free. And I wasn’t going to let anyone stop me.”

Revna fell silent once more, and tore her gaze away from the Jedi to look at her folded hands again. Despite her best efforts, some emotion was welling up to the surface, and she had to re-focus herself in order to keep her Force presence hidden. Once she had composed herself, she looked back at him.

“I think you might like to hear that he is safe now. He is no longer ...alone. He is no longer unwanted. He is with an adopted family now, back where I live. I get to see him grow up, free. He wanted me to be his mother. I had to tell him no, but I was at least able to give him a name, since he didn’t have one of his own.”

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

“It has happened before. A Sith and a Jedi.”

Jackson simply answered with what he knew was true. Was it often, no. The phenomenon was rare, but when it did happen it was significant. That did not mean her hunger to see him in person, or the fact she could not get him out of her mind, was that. Jax had not felt the same desire. From what he could tell this was all one sided. The padawan was not going to deny she was pretty, or that she was intriguing. That did not mean they had a force bond.

Their fear had been the same, in a way. Jackson was surprised to find she ran with the boy to keep him from seeing their fight. That was… compassionate.

Compassion was not a Sith trait, or so Jax believed. She continued to confuse him.

The woman.

The girl.

The Sith.

It dawned on him that while she knew his name, Jackson had not asked for hers. They were not on equal footing in that regard. She held the upper hand. Once again he looked up from his noodles.

“So uh… you know my name, but I don’t have yours. What is your name?”

Naturally he asked after she answered all of his other questions first. It was good to hear the boy had been adopted by a family, which only furthered to confuse the padawan. She had displayed compassion and empathy once more. Of course there were other emotions that she was trying to keep in check. Anger and frustration were trying to break their way through, but it seemed the Sith had held them in check for the moment.

It was another anathema. A Sith controlling their emotions was almost Jedi-like.

Jackson let the quiet sit between them for a moment as he finished off his noodles. He did not quite know how to answer her questions right away, save for the one he already had. What path was it she was on… from a Jedi’s perspective. All he could answer was his perspective. Yes he was a Jedi, but he did not speak for all of them.

“Well… I cannot speak for all Jedi, but…”

He pushed the bowl to the edge for the server to come and take it.

“...you seem to want power to make those that once had power over you pay. Revenge, hatred, anger, power… those are all things Sith chase after, but in the end those are the very things which consume them. The things they think will get them what they want often robs them of everything else they have left.”

Of course, Jackson was not an expert. The answer just seemed to make sense.

“Does the dark side really make you a better version of yourself, or is it just killing what humanity you had left?”

It was his turn to ask a question.

 

[Revna]

Tag: Jackson Lesan


She pondered that statement he made: that Jedi and Sith have been connected before. It made her wonder if it was possible…

…what if that was happening here, between her and this Jedi? What was she to do if that was the case? Truthfully…the thought, the idea of that…frightened her.

His voice drew her out of her internal thoughts, and she looked at him as he brought up the fact that she knew his name, but he did not know hers, and then he asked her for her name. She remained quiet for a few heartbeats, weighing her decision on the matter. Names had power. Knowing another’s name gave an upper hand over that individual. Right now, she had the ‘high ground’ over this Jedi.

“Revna.” She replied softly as she held his gaze, deciding-perhaps foolishly-to surrender her name to him. It felt…strange…to give him her name so willingly. He hadn’t even been given the same option; his name had been given to her by someone else.

But now they were on even ground once more.

Silence fell between them once again, both just simply existing in the moment as he finished off his noodle dish; neither seemed pushed or rushed to talk, letting the conversation naturally flow-be it for good or ill. Revna started off tense, but she was slowly starting to relax though she did not lower her guard. A warrior was always alert-whether they be at peace or at war. She watched as he pushed the bowl to the edge of the table, and watched a waitress approach to take the dish and refill her water before walking away. Revna returned her stormy eyes back to him before lowering them to her hands, waiting patiently for his response to her question.

His perspective on the path of the Sith was a personal one. He couldn’t speak on behalf of all his kind, just like she couldn't speak on behalf of all the Sith. She felt a measure of respect towards him for that. His assessment of the way the Sith was was mostly correct…though there were some differences, and she saw an opportunity to maybe shed some light in those areas, if given the chance.

Still, his question about the Dark side took her by surprise. She saw an opportunity in that moment: she could speak from her experience, her perspective-and plant a seed in the process. She needed to tread this path carefully; as much as she wanted to launch into a sermon like her Mentor would have, she knew it would only overwhelm the young man.

“I can only speak from my personal experience, from my understanding which is not entirely complete. Yes, there is power in it, incredible power. Yes, I wanted that power to free myself from my enslavement, and I did. Yes…I was being consumed by it - until I met the Sith who would take me under his wing and teach and guide me.”

She took a deep, slow breath before continuing. She wanted to speak on this in a way that he might understand, if it was possible.

“He taught me how to control my powers and my emotions. How to recognize them, harness and channel them, then release them so they didn’t consume me. He taught me how to control myself. Those who…allow…the dark side to control them become monsters capable of great evil. You’ve seen it time and time again, throughout history. They are beings controlled by their own arrogance, pride, and lust for power. The weak allow their power to rule over them. The strong and wise learn to wield it like a blade, for that is what it is: a weapon. But you don’t use a weapon for everything, only for when it is needed. That is how I view the power that I have access to.”

The woman fell quiet for a moment, almost slipping into a trance as she recalled the story of perhaps the only ancient Dark Lord who had left a lasting impression upon her from her studies of Sith history…enough so that she looked to him for inspiration and even guidance as she walked her own journey in the Dark.

“Lord Marr is one such example. He was a great warrior, a Dark Lord who was feared, respected, and despised by friend and foe alike. Beloved by his people-those he ruled over on behalf of the Emperor at the time. He used his powers, the dark side, to protect and provide opportunities for the common folk under him. He even allied with the Jedi Order of his time to defend the galaxy against a greater evil. He fought for equality for all races and species within the Empire-even though he was looked down upon for it. He defied his Emperor and refused to bend the knee, choosing his people over gaining more power…and he was executed for it." She paused once more, staring at her hands for a heartbeat before her eyes flickered to his and she continued in the same low tone of voice.

“As a Force spirit, he formed an unlikely bond, a friendship one could say, with a self exiled Jedi Grandmaster...the same one he briefly allied himself with before he met his demise. They didn’t have the same ideologies, but they respected one another. They valued the other for their strength and wisdom. It is written that the dark side did take his emotions, his humanity, to the point where he couldn’t even feel love anymore, let alone hate or anger. Yet he still gave of himself to his people until the day he died. He wasn’t controlled by the dark side; he controlled and used it to make the world around him a better place for others while he could. And that is what I want to do with my life, my strength…my power. Even if it means being hated by others around me, by my own kind even.”

The woman sighed and rubbed her face with her hands, realizing that she had dumped far more upon him than what she had intended. “I…I am sorry. I didn’t mean to go on a rant like that. Tell…tell me about the path you walk. It seems only…fair that you share your nonsense with me, since I shared mine with you.” Revna replied with a small half smile.

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

"Revna."

Jackson tried the name out. Names were a powerful thing. Certain cultures believed they were a way to speak over the life the child would live. Others used names to try and declare traits over their children they wished for them to have. To many a name was simply a name. Jax found it to be useful in a way of knowing someone. They could not remain a stranger or a mystery for too long if their name was known.

He smiled.

"It's a nice name."

There was no reason not to compliment it. From what he could tell this meeting was about learning from each other, developing a rapport. Her perspective on what it meant to be Sith gave the young Padawan insight into who she was, what her goals were, and what she wanted. It seemed to be altruistic and parts even came across as noble. Yet, why use the dark side to accomplish something that seemed pure, aside from the revenge piece.

She wanted to know about his path… to that Jax simply scratched the back of his head.

"Well… um… my training hasn't been traditional."

He shrugged. It was a short answer, but once again it was to let her know that whatever he told her was not going to be indicative of all Jedi.

"The Enclave here believes in more individualized learning, and I did not get a master for a while. She's now in some trouble or something. I have not seen her in some time. What I can tell you is that outcomes are important. We don't let our emotions get the best of us, but as Master Judah says, emotions can be helpful when kept in check. He was never a traditional Jedi either."

Jax looked away.

"He is a shadow and walks a fine line between light and dark. Sometimes I feel I'm supposed to do the same. Other times I think I'd be a good soldier, a fighter. All I know is I want to see the Galaxy become a better place, and that only happens one life at a time."

 

[Revna]

Tag: Jackson Lesan


The young woman huffed with a small half smile curling on her lips, her blue-gray eyes glinting with a touch of warmth at the compliment to her name.

“Thank you. It was a name given to me…when my old self ceased to be.” A hint that her original name hadn’t been Revna, but something else.

Jackson had remained polite and quiet when she went on her rant, and she noticed that. She in turn listened as he perhaps awkwardly explained that his training hadn’t been traditional. Revna studied him, his movements and how he responded or reacted to words and questions and statements, and listened intently as Jackson began to share a bit about his own journey, her eyes and face lighting up with hunger as she devoured every bit of information the Jedi shared with her. It was the same expression she often gave her Sith Mentor whenever he passed on his knowledge or instructed her during her training.

"Not traditional? In what way?" She questioned with her hungry curiosity.

Her brows did dip a little when she heard the term ‘master’. Her Mentor had used the same term when referring to his late Sith teacher as well. Though she knew the Jedi wasn’t referring to a slave master, it was still something she was getting used to hearing and understanding. Still, the term evoked stronger feelings within her, and her bright and curious eyes darkened a touch.

She made a mental note when he dropped the name ‘Judah’, storing it away within the confines of her mind for later recall. Interestingly, this young Jedi put the term ‘master’ in front of the name. She internally wondered how her own Mentor would respond if she referred to him as Master Strosius. Maybe she would at some point just to see how the stoic and sometimes cantankerous Sith Lord would react. No doubt it would be rather amusing to her.

Revna tilted her head when the young man turned his head and looked away from her. He spoke about this Judah, saying how he was not a traditional Jedi either…but a ‘shadow’ who walked the line between light and dark. Now that she found intriguing. She also found the young man’s lack of clarity on what he wished to do with his career interesting.

“I suppose not knowing what one wants to do with their life, their career, is normal when at the…beginning phase of training, though if I can be honest it was made clear to me from the very beginning before I was even accepted as an Acolyte what my purpose would be, and I accepted it.” Revna paused for a moment, bringing her hands up from the table to rest her chin on them as she narrowed her gaze at him thoughtfully.

“You say that you want to perhaps follow in the steps of this Judah you mentioned, and become a ‘shadow’... do you think you have what it takes to walk that line? And, while I have no doubt that you could make a fine warrior…again I have to ask-can you see yourself fighting and killing someone? How about many different people over the course of your life? Someone has to die in order for another to live, especially in war. That is the ugly truth to it. I guess if you are a soldier and you are taking orders, then that’s that. But what does a Jedi say to themselves to justify taking another’s life? Forgive me if my questions are harsh or blunt. I… honestly do not know much about the Jedi, other than what little my Mentor has told me.”

She purposefully left out his opinions and views of the Jedi; views that she was still deliberating on herself, which was also part of the reason why she was sitting here speaking to this young man. She wanted to know if the Jedi were as deserving of death as her Mentor said they were.

“It does seem kind of…strange to me that a Jedi would be willing to walk a line close to the very thing they want nothing to do with, or otherwise shun or teach others to despise and even kill others for. You said this Judah teaches that emotions are…helpful but should be kept under control. That sounds awfully similar to what my Mentor taught me and continues to teach me. In fact, you could say that we are rather non-traditional, compared to how others of my kind are taught. I find that to be very interesting.”

Revna fell quiet and searched his face, his eyes, with her own for a moment before giving voice to some thoughts that were rolling around in her mind.

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a teacher who is supposed to be there to guide you, then to have them just vanish from your life. If my Mentor walked away from me or vanished or even died…it would utterly devastate me. Sure…there are others out there who could teach and guide, but it wouldn’t be the same. There is a bond that forms, you know? I know I would certainly feel abandoned and alone and unwanted, and I do know what that feels like, having been a slave for most of my life. It is not something I ever wish to feel again, and I certainly don’t wish it upon others. Funny words coming from a Sith, huh?”

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

“She did not vanish… she was put on trial for something I know nothing about.”

Jax shrugged. It was likely not the answer Revna was thinking it would be. Romi had not abandoned him entirely, not in the way that it was being suggested. He almost wanted to take offense at it, but she did not know. How could she? The internal workings of Jedi politics were something Jackson himself still did not understand. Whatever it was Romi was going through, there was nothing Jackson as a Padawan could do about it.

That made him feel powerless.

“Which is maybe why I like the idea of becoming a Shadow. Yeah they walk the line of the very thing they despise… I’ve even seen Judah use abilities which are common among dark siders. Somehow he maintains his commitment to the light side of the force, almost dogmatically so. The thing that confuses me is that as absolute and black and white Shadows are… it is not that much different than what Sith are.”

What were they?

Jackson supposed he did not know much about what Sith were, but he also knew they were not what he wanted to be. Based on the things he had heard and seen from many of them, they were not good.

“I guess that is in part why my training has not been traditional. I have learned a modified version of the Jedi code. The first line is a great example. Emotion; yet peace. Rather than what most Jedi learn which says, there is no emotion there is only peace. One seems to acknowledge our emotions exist, but rather we choose peace. The latter seems to deny emotions. Judah says you cannot deny your emotions and be true to who you are. You cannot be a Jedi if you deny your true self.”

“It’s why a Jedi does not simply take a life carelessly. Well, there are some who think it is the only way to deal with a Sith, but I am not so sure. Life is sacred, and we don’t just get to choose who lives and who doesn’t. Me… self-defense would be the only way I think I could justify it.”

 

[Revna]

Jackson Lesan


“I misunderstood. I apologize.” she murmured, dipping her head in acceptance that her original thought behind the reasons for his master’s disappearance had been misconstrued. “But still, I can imagine it must be difficult to know that something is going on, and she isn’t really there to guide or teach you at this time.”

Revna listened as he voiced his thoughts on why he perhaps wanted to become one of these Jedi ‘shadows’. He voiced his confusion on the similarities and differences between shadows and Sith, and she tilted her head slightly again to the right in thought.

“I…can perhaps understand the confusion. It is a little perplexing to me. What…would a Jedi think or say about a Dark side adhering Sith who used the light side?” Revna questioned, taking his statements about this Judah using dark side abilities while as a Jedi shadow but still professing faith or following this ‘light side’ of the Force, and turning it around.

The little woman returned to her silent listening as Jackson explained a little more what he meant by ‘non traditional’ in regards to his Jedi training. He mentioned something about a code, and she perked up a little bit. She, too, had a Code she lived by. Though she had been taught and guided to perhaps interpret differently than most other Sith. The young Jedi’s explanation of part of his code versus the code of the wider Jedi brought a small frown to her face.

“I am not…familiar with this Jedi code, only my own by which I live by. Though admittedly I have been taught to interpret ours differently than the wider Sith. But I believe that only a fool would deny that emotion exists, or that they should not be felt. Emotions are not something to be afraid of, or shunned. Without emotions you would just be a walking bag of bones…dead inside. But I sense that I am missing or not understanding information here. I can only base my response off of my reactions to what I am told or what I hear.” Thus the reason why she was wanting to expand her knowledge on this. She couldn’t really understand her enemy if she didn’t know how her enemy thought or perceived the world around them. It gave her insights which could be useful to her in the future.

She found this Judah to be…intriguing, the more she heard about him from young Jackson. Almost enough to make her curious enough to perhaps speak with the man himself. But…she didn’t imagine that would go very well, since she was a Sith and all that.

Revna found difficulty with the rest of his statement, about how the Jedi didn’t, or shouldn’t, take a life carelessly. She had heard too many stories from her own Mentor, and those who made up the cult she called home and her family, to accept that as truth. Would Jackson be ashamed of the Jedi if he heard what they had done to others through first hand accounts? She could almost feel her Mentor’s frothing rage at the audacity of those words, and she was very thankful in that moment that he was not there with her. She was sure his saber would have been out and relieving young Jackson of his head from his shoulders.

Oh if he ever found out why she had left in secrecy the way she had-to meet with this young man, this Jedi-then she just might find herself walking a precarious line between life and death herself. But she would face that time when it came, for she knew that he would learn the truth sooner or later. She didn’t think the Sith Lord would kill her, but she certainly would be in some deep trouble that was for sure.

The young man finished by saying that, for him, self defense should be the only way that another met their end if fighting him, and she couldn’t help but scoff lightly.

“That would explain why you put away your fething weapon when we were facing one another on Tund.” She growled. “I won’t lie, seeing you put your weapon away made me angrier than knowing there was a Jedi in front of me. I felt insulted by the mere action of it. Not to mention it just seemed so damn foolish for someone to put their weapon away while facing an enemy who had the capability of killing them.”

She heaved a sigh and downed the rest of her water, a flash of her irritation at the memory coming over her before it vanished and she returned to her normal self…but there was a darkness to her eyes that wasn’t there before. She regarded the young man, his scarred yet still handsome face, and opened her mouth to speak the words that had been rolling around within her. She could have kept them to herself, but that just wasn’t her way.

“You know…I have heard plenty of stories and first hand accounts of people who suffered terrible losses at the hands of Jedi. People who were, and are, Sith, but are like the average man or woman or child you see on the street. People who don’t wield the Force, or a red lightsaber. People who work and care for their families. People who have had loved ones felled by the very individuals who claim to want peace. If a Jedi slaughters citizens of a nation just because they bear the name or title ‘Sith’...then doesn’t that make that Jedi no better than the Sith they claim are evil and should be executed? Maybe…the Jedi’s lack of willingness to feel emotion has robbed them of their humanity, their compassion.” Her voice held a slight bitter edge to it as voices of those who had shared their darkest memories with her whispered through her mind, and she felt the echo of their pain briefly.

“If…if a Jedi showed up on the doorstep of the place I call home now and attacked us because we call ourselves Sith…you bet I would unleash unholy chaos upon that individual. And I surely would feel a deep and abiding hatred for them, and would seek to destroy all that I came across so that it never happens again.”

The Sith woman lowered her gaze to the table in front of her. She hesitated briefly before speaking in a low voice that held a hint of the confliction she felt within her. “You seem like a good man who wants to do the best with this chitty galaxy we live in. I won’t fault you for that. I applaud your efforts. But if I ever see or find you attacking my home, my loved ones, because we are Sith, because you’ve been told to by other Jedi…I will not hesitate to try and kill you, to defend all that I hold dear. And that doesn’t just go for the world I personally call home. I mean for any place that we Sith call home. And I will try to kill any Jedi who dares to say that we don’t have a right to exist. Not just the Jedi, but anyone really. I would even unleash hell against other Sith if they came for my family, my home.” Revna continued to stare, unblinking, at the table surface and the small moisture rings that had formed over time on its surface, before she lifted her gaze back to look him directly in his eyes.

“Somehow, for some reason…the idea of you being killed makes me feel a…hollowness in my chest. I shouldn’t feel that way…but I do and it scares the utter chit out of me because they are directed at someone who is supposed to be my enemy. And I know you don't feel the same way I do. Why would you? I am your enemy, I am someone who expressed violence towards you...gave you that scar across your face. And if you challenged me now I'd probably do it again if I can be frank with you. But it doesn't stop nor change what I feel. I...don't know what to do with it, with this. "

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

“What about me putting my weapon away made you mad? Because I was trying not to fight you?”

Jackson chuckled. He did not mean to find her anger funny, but it seemed odd to him that someone would be more upset about not getting to fight than the fact he was a Jedi. Was it foolish to put the weapon away in the middle of battle? Maybe it had been, considering the scar on his face now, but Jackson took a calculated risk. His intention had not been to kill the woman… to kill Revna.

It seemed as though they had reached the point of the conversation where they would try to justify their positions. Had the Jedi committed acts that were unforgivable. There were those who would say yes. Judah was one of them, and Jackson knew the older Lesan did not hide his disdain over such things. As far as Jackson was concerned he was too young to know what to think about such things. On one hand a Jedi should not seek to kill. On the other… sometimes killing was the only way to stop evil.

He would never forget the interview he saw of one galactic leader who answered a question on how to deal with genocidal maniacs that thought they were fighting a holy war. There was only one answer…

…kill them before they can kill you.

It did not feel right as much as it did. The galaxy was complex, and not as black and white as anyone wanted it to be. It was why he could not understand the absolute position this Sith seemed to be taking.

Whatever argument he would try to make was silenced with what Revna said next.

“Somehow, for some reason…the idea of you being killed makes me feel a…hollowness in my chest…”

“…But it doesn't stop nor change what I feel. I...don't know what to do with it, with this.”

Feelings.
Emotions.

Emotion; yet peace.

Passion; yet serenity.

They were two closely related parts of the Jedi Code which Jackson often struggled with the most. Those who knew him well were aware of how easily frustrated he could get. He had a temper that he did his best to hide. More often than not he had to remind himself to remain calm, or that the smallest of things that upset him were never worth the energy expended. He did not feel anger in the moment, but rather, he was surprised.

“I don’t want to sound dense here, but did you just admit what I think you just admitted?”

Did she say she had feelings… feelings for him?

“I can’t say I do feel the same way… but I can’t say I don’t either.”

Jax shrugged. Should he have said that out loud?

 

[Revna]

Jackson Lesan



She tilted her head at his question on what exactly angered her when he put his weapon away and she huffed softly and shook her head. “I suppose it made me mad because it…I was trained to never do that. So I guess I was surprised that you would. It was risky…and I was shocked that a Jedi would put their weapon away even when face to face with their mortal foe. To me, it was almost as if you were asking for me to kill you. I don’t really desire to fight an unarmed enemy…where is the honor in that? The glory?” She shrugged, before diving into the things she felt that she needed to say, even if they were harsh or direct. To his credit, Jackson remained quiet and let her speak, though when she confessed about how she felt at the idea of something happening to him, she noticed a look of surprise cross his face.

She was just about as surprised as he was, when she realized what she had said. She blinked a few times as she stared into his face, before she tore her gaze away and sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

What was she to do with this? It perplexed, confused, and scared her all at the same time. The young woman kept her face turned away from him, staring off at the floor or idly watching other patrons of the restaurant. More people had come in and were being seated; voices filled the building, along with laughter and the clink of plates and glasses.

Revna returned her attention back to the young Jedi when he spoke again, and she raised a delicately arched eyebrow at him when he asked her if she had just admitted what he thought she had.

…Had she? The petite woman’s face suddenly flamed red as she blushed furiously. What had she just admitted to?! What was she doing??

Then he said something that left her momentarily surprised. A confession that he couldn’t say one way or the other how he felt about her. This was turning into a very delicate and personal and maybe slightly embarrassing conversation…at least, for her it was.

Revna cleared her throat and looked away again in an increasingly rare moment of shyness. “I…don’t know what I am admitting or trying to say. This is…uncharted territory for me.”

Her expression suddenly became intense and she leaned forward across the table one more, getting a little bit closer to him than she had before and speaking in a lower tone of voice to him. “What…what if the Force created that kind of…bond between us? The one you mentioned earlier? I’m not saying that it did, but what if? And if it did…what in the chaos are we supposed to do with that? What the feth am I supposed to do once I leave here and I keep seeing your face in my dreams?!” Not that she really minded seeing his face in her dreams. He was a good looking young man, and if she could be honest with herself…he looked even more handsome with that scar she had given him. The fact that she actually found him attractive further complicated everything going on within her. She sighed in agitation with her confusing feelings and sat back again and rubbed her face, then paused and looked at him with narrowed eyes.

“Wait a minute…what do you mean by that? That you can’t say that you don’t feel…something? The only thing you should feel is…I-I could have killed you. I should have…”

But she hadn’t. Why had she decided to spare him, truly?

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

Feelings were overrated, at least Jackson was beginning to think so. He had his childhood crushes, and none of them seemed to go anywhere. Now there was a Sith sitting across from him at the table explaining her feelings about what happened between them. He did not know what to make of it all and expressed that plainly. What followed was only more questioning. This time it was her, and she wanted to know what he meant.

At least he could begin with the bit about putting his weapon away. It was a place where they differed to a degree.

"I was taught to try and resolve things without conflict. Ironic I know considering I drew my weapon first, but I was not going to let you take the boy back to the Sith. Which is what I thought you were doing."

Jax paused for a moment. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he let the irony hit him right between the eyes. He had been the aggressor, and he had been the one to put his weapon away to find a non-violent outcome.

"You are the first Sith I have faced off with. I suppose I assumed ill intent because I have never seen Sith as capable of the opposite."

It was as close to an apology as she was going to get on that front. She did try to kill him after all. Which had been her point all along. Why had he lowered his weapon when she could have, and likely would have, killed him.

Her blush caught him off guard. It was unexpected, about as unexpected as the rest of her questions. Naturally she did not know what she was admitting to, because neither of them had expected anything like what they were currently doing. Jedi and Sith did not sit across from the table and have a friendly conversation, especially about feelings.

He was quiet now. It was not because he was letting her talk, but because the padawan did not have any answers himself. The questions she was asking were the same ones he had, save one. Jackson was not sure the Force had bonded them, not that he was an expert in the matter. It would be a cruel trick if that were the case. For Revna it already seemed to be. Though, perhaps her dreams were more of guilt than supernatural interference.

"I don't know what you're supposed to do with it. I just know what you did."

His eyes looked up at her.

"Should have killed me? Really? In the end you still got the boy where you wanted to, and I have a scar to remind me never to lower my weapon when facing someone with hostile intent."

Had her intent been hostile? Not at first, but she had certainly made it clear as they fought she would hurt him before turning the child over.

"Killing me would not have changed anything, and for all you know, your dreams would be worse."

A pause.

"You would be dreaming about a dead man instead of one that is still alive."

Jax shrugged as he stood up and set some credits on the table to pay for their bill.

"Follow me," he said as he started walking toward the door.

He knew she would follow because they still had questions. Jackson was just beginning to feel this was not the place where they could talk openly or freely.

"I don't know what I feel because even though you tried to kill me and gave me this scar, I cannot say I hate you for it. You are supposed to be my enemy, and I am not sure I can say that I see you that way either. Nothing about what I have seen from you is characteristic of what I thought about the Sith."

He grinned.

"So let's say I feel curious, at the very least."

They stopped at Jax's speeder bike, and he motioned the extra helmet before getting on and putting a helmet on for himself. He was not about to tell her where they were going. All he would say…

"...trust me."

 

[Revna]

Jackson Lesan


Revna raised an eyebrow at his comment about resolving conflict without turning to violence, and he admitted that he had been the one to draw his weapon first, though she could understand why when he explained why he did what he did. She did feel her lips curve in a small smile with his remark about not wanting to see her take the boy to the Sith; in a way, she had brought the boy to the Sith. Little Veradun was now living in an adopted family who were Sith in the same way Revna was Sith…minus the Force capabilities or connection to the Dark side, of course. Everyone who lived in the Dresuoti were considered Sith by the High Priest; they were his flock, members of an extended family really. Veradun himself was now considered a Sith, and he would be raised to view and believe himself as such.

But Jackson didn’t need to know that.

Her smile widened slightly when he confessed that she’d been the first Sith he’d ever faced off with. It seemed their meeting on Tund was a first for both on many levels.

“Surprise.” she said with a playful smirk with his assumption that she had ill-intent because she was a Sith. She paused briefly, choosing her next words carefully. “But make no mistake, Jackson…the Sith are a violent and savage group. But some of us are…different. No less Sith, but we see things differently than others.”

The conversation carried over into her comments about a possible Force bond between the two of them, and the young Jedi remained silent, offering no words of his own to what she had to say. He seemed just as stumped about the whole thing as she was. His silence allowed her to come to terms with the fact that he really didn’t know what to do either, and had no solutions for her or for himself with this matter.

He confirmed her suspicion when he admitted that he really didn’t know what she should do about all this. Her last statement brought his eyes to hers and he mildly retorted back against her statement that she should have killed him, and she averted her gaze from his briefly. He…was right. In the end…she did get what she wanted, which was to make sure the boy stayed out of his hands.

Though she did wonder what would have happened had the Jedi before her taken the little boy instead. What would have become of little Veradun? What would his name be? His new family? Where would he have ended up?

Revna returned her gaze to the Jedi’s face as he continued to speak, saying that killing him wouldn’t have changed anything for her. She remained silent as his words sank in, and she turned reflective for a moment.

She wouldn’t have felt guilty for killing him, had she done so. She didn’t feel guilt or remorse for slaying her enemies, if anything she felt vindicated in doing so. But it would have driven her crazy if he had haunted her dreams and nightmares as a dead man. It was equally possible that she might not have ever seen his face in her mind to begin with had she put him down that day.

“It is possible you are right, yes. But it is equally possible that I kept seeing your face in my dreams because I let you live.” She murmured softly, shrugging her shoulders as she did so. She watched as the young man pushed his chair back and rose to his feet, fishing out some credits to lay on the table, enough to cover both his meal and her drinks.

Revna blinked for a moment. Was…was he leaving? She supposed it made sense. Not like he could stay and talk with her forever, or that he really wanted to in the first place.

She suddenly felt a pang of…something… squeeze her heart, and she turned her face away from him to look at something else for a moment. A sort of strange emptiness was starting to settle over her as she imagined him walking out and her being left to sit alone again at the table.

She...really didn't want to be alone.

Her head snapped back as she heard him bid her to follow him, and he started walking towards the door. She hesitated for a moment, before laying a couple spare credit sticks down as a tip to their waiter before she cautiously and curiously followed the Jedi out of the building and into the light of the day, finding that he was already a few steps ahead of her. She caught up to him with ease, falling in step beside him as she turned her head to regard him with narrowed, mildly suspicious but equally curious, eyes.

She kept her silence as he spoke again, and she turned her gaze to the walkway ahead of her, occasionally glancing at other people as they passed by, feeling eyes upon her as she went. His words caught her off guard a bit; he didn’t see her as his enemy? He didn’t…hate her for what she did to him? For trying to end his life?

The little woman glanced back at him in time to see his grin, and she raised an eyebrow at him as he said he felt curious.

Well, that made two of them, then.

“I…don’t really hate you either, if I can be honest with you.” She said softly, speaking before really realizing what she had said. Her cheeks colored up a bit at the confession. “I…reserve the depths of my hatred for those who I feel truly deserve it, like slavers and slave-masters and criminals who abuse and use others. Even other Sith who fall into those categories have my hatred. My Mentor would argue that you deserve every ounce of my hate because you are a Jedi, and while I respect him and almost worship the ground he walks on, I…prefer to make my own judgments of people, instead of just taking someone at their word.”

The small Acolyte followed him until he reached a speeder bike, and she regarded him once more in cautious suspicion as he gestured with a helmet in hand towards her, indicating for her to take it and put it on.

For a moment, Revna was torn. She knew that what she was doing was very un-Sithlike for her, and no doubt her allegiances would be called into question if the truth of this ever came out. Yet…she couldn’t shake her curiosity, the almost forbidden feeling she had at the idea of just…being free and living in the moment. In this moment.

He asked her to trust him. That…made her pause even more and she stood at the side of his speeder bike, her stormy eyes searching his own gaze, his face, trying to read his intentions. There was a sense of vulnerability that revealed itself; her pale face and blue-gray eyes expressing her cautious, wary nature. Trust was not something she gave so easily…but she had come this far, hadn’t she? She had trusted him to sit and hold a civil conversation with her, despite what she had done to him. And he was trusting in her to not kill him the second she had the chance to do so. She had chosen a public place to give them both that blanket of security. But now it was being purposefully removed.

The seconds ticket by as she stood on that edge, deciding on if she would go with him or not.

Feth it, she thought to herself as in the end, her curious nature won her over and she took the helmet from his hand, slipping it over her head and fastening the straps as she clambered aboard the bike as well, saying as she did so:

“I want you to know that I don’t just give my trust over to anyone. But like you, I’m just too damn curious for my own good. So…lead the way, Jedi. But if you take me anywhere where there are others of your kind and turn me in...I will fight like a cornered animal and with every ounce of strength and power the Force has given me.”

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

This one was more and more curious by the minute. Everything she said was an attempt to contradict what he said. She truly seemed to want to be his opposite in every way. Jax could almost understand it. She lost him when it came to her hatred, or what she reserved it for. He could not imagine being that full of such a strong emotion. Hatred was a poison that ate away at the very soul of a person. It had the power to change the very core of who someone was.

Jackson did not wish that on anyone.

He shook his head for a moment.

"Hate changes people, and never for the better. It is one of those things we think we can control, but in the end it consumes everything good about who we are."

His eyes met hers.

"Don't let your hatred destroy the good parts of you… the parts I…"

Jax wanted to say the parts he liked, but considering their conversation it was only going to make things more awkward. He was not even sure if it was the right thing to say. Imagine a Jedi finding a Sith likable, or visa versa. That was the matter which was so conflicting in all of this. He would have to ask Judah about it later. No doubt that particular Lesan had particular insight on where the line was in all of this.

She had followed him, and even agreed to trust him for the moment. Her threat was understandable considering he had tried to arrest her the last time they met. He just shook his head.

"Not taking you to the Enclave. Not anywhere near it even."

When she was secure on the bike, Jackson hit the engine and they took off. The Corellian in him loved the speed with which he moved through the dunes of Jakku. Whether she liked it or not would be another story. Hopefully the scenery made up for it. While it seemed like sand and rock as far as the eye could see, the planet offered more. It served as a burial ground for crashed ships as well.

Jackson weaved about the wreckage until they cleared a large part of the mess. All of them were holdouts from the days when Rebels took up against the Galactic Empire. There was one ship in particular Jax wanted Revna to see, a crashed Star Destroyer. There were ways to get inside with the bike. He had done it before many times.

The center of it, or what Jackson considered to be the center, was open to the sky. Metal and wire provided a canopy of shade and protection from the afternoon sun. It was the perfect time of day to simply hide, and it was here Jackson often went to be alone when he needed to be.

It was quiet with the engine stopped. For a moment Jax closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as he took the helmet off his head.

"This is my private sanctuary of sorts. We can talk freely here without anyone hearing or knowing what we say. We can be honest here without fear of any reprisals."

His gaze turned to the brunette.

"Here, it is just us. No Jedi, no Sith. Just you and just me."

 

[Revna]

Jackson Lesan


Revna regarded the young man in silence for a moment when he shared his opinions on hatred. She couldn’t say she disagreed with him, because she knew the truth for herself. He was right, for the most part.

Their eyes met, and he almost seemed to plead with her not to let her hatred destroy what he thought or what he felt was good in her. He started to say something else but stopped halfway through his sentence, and the young woman tilted her head at him and raised an eyebrow.

…the parts he what, exactly? - she pondered internally. She didn’t ask her question aloud; he seemed too reserved in speaking it aloud, speaking it into life perhaps?

“You are right. Hatred is…a dangerous thing. Out of all the emotions I have tapped into, that I have used to…fuel me…hatred has been the hardest to control. It can be done, but it takes immense strength of will.”

For some reason, she found that talking about these things with Jackson felt…easy. She wasn’t afraid of sharing who she was with him, in the moment at least. She wasn’t ashamed of who or what she was.

She was relieved to hear that he had no intention of taking her to what he called the Enclave, where she figured others of his kind stayed. She did make a mental note of that, storing it away in her memory banks as she settled herself on the bike and held on as he engaged the engine and they both sped off from the town, headed in a direction that only he seemed to know.

Revna had never been on a speeder bike before; it was an exhilarating experience, and the speed at which they flew over the sands of Jakku thrilled her. Despite the fact that she was so close to him, to a Jedi, she found herself smiling in undiluted joy at the experience.

This…this was fun!

The excursion he took her on brought them both into a field, a graveyard, of crashed starships, and the Sith woman looked out across the burning sands at the wrecks in awe. They weaved between the wreckage of countless ships, before approaching one that seemed to dwarf the others. Her awe only increased further as the Jedi brought the speeder into the wreck itself and the shadows fell over them both as he traversed the interior until the pathway opened up into a large hidden chamber where he brought the bike to a stop and killed the engine. Revna slid off the bike and undid the straps to the helmet, setting it on the bike as she looked around the area in amazement and wonder.

Above their heads was a hole torn into the ancient ship, large enough to let in the sun’s light, but still allow for plenty of shade for coolness and comfort against the sun’s intense heat. Jagged metal and wires protruded everywhere, creating a sort of roof or canopy above them.

This was a hidden place, a secret place. It was quiet and still, besides the occasional whistle of the wind as it blew across the desert sands and against the wreckage. She let her gaze travel over the sights, only turning her attention back to Jackson when he spoke, his voice almost echoing through the expanse around them. So this was a place where he could come and hide out in.

And he had brought her here, to one of his secret sanctuaries, so they could talk more freely and not be bothered by others.

That gesture, that show of trust, was not lost on her.

Her eyes met his as he said they could just be themselves here. Here, he was not a Jedi, and here she was not a Sith. Just two people, trying to figure the other person out, and make sense of what was happening between them and after a moment of searching his face and his eyes, she nodded in understanding and let down her defenses, releasing the hold she’d had on her dark Force presence and letting it flow from her as it naturally would have.

She didn’t need to hide here, or so she felt. He already knew who and what she was anyway.

“Bringing me here where we are alone and without the safety of being in public view, is very…trusting…of you.” Revna said softly as she tilted her head and regarded the young Jedi for a moment with a serious expression on her face. “And we both know that our superiors would not be pleased knowing that we were here like this. I’m sure your Jedi friends would be appalled if they learned you were alone with a Sith. And my Mentor would be very upset with me if he learned of this, of me sneaking out without him knowing to meet up with a Jedi.” She paused, then scoffed lightly as she turned her face away and reached up to her neck to release the clasp of her dark cloak and then laid it down on the sand and sat down upon it, crossing her legs underneath as she began to run her fingers through her dark hair, pulling out any knots or tangles, and pulling the hair off of one shoulder and over the other, fully exposing the ugly scars that encircled her neck, a visual sign of her previous life as a slave.

“This place has a history. I can feel it…almost hear it, even. It is…peaceful here. Much in the same way a tomb is peaceful.” She said as she looked around herself once more. “I can see why you come here though; it is a good place to come to if you want some peace and quiet, to get away from duty or demands.”

She paused, briefly, before turning her gaze back to Jackson to simply just look at him while she debated on if she should tell him what was going on in her head or not.

“In the spirit of being honest and open with each other here…I suppose I’ll take that leap into the unknown and say that…I don’t think that I’ll be able to stay away from you. I don’t know if the Force bonded us or not. I don’t know what that feels or looks like. It’s more likely that it hasn’t, but Force bond or no…I am drawn to you like a moth is to a flame. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. And I’m almost certain this is one sided; I can’t imagine you feel the same way at all. I’ve never felt this or experienced this before and as I’ve said several times already…I don’t know what to do. I will understand that when I leave here and you say you never want to see me again or have anything to do with me…I will respect that. I will leave this place and never return. And you can live your life without fear of me hunting you down because of what and who we are.”

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Revna

Jackson was still not sure how to answer her. Much of what she said sounded like a profession of love and obsession, and they had only met once. She was being honest however, and it afforded her the opportunity to drop the mask she’d been using to hide her force signature.

It almost tainted his sanctuary. The sudden intrusion of the dark side was a shock to his system. His mind flashed back to their last encounter where the steel tip of her sword cut into the soft flesh of his face. The bacta had helped heal, but the scar was still there. She had already looked at it several times. Perhaps she was proud of herself for it, or maybe she was feeling bad about it. There was no way to truly know.

“Well, I did not bring you here with the intention of anyone finding out,” he grinned.

She was correct about the others at least. They would likely frown upon him being alone with the Sith that carved a line down his eye. He shook his head at the thought. Maybe he was crazy for entertaining the girl, but they had both been hiding behind whatever it was they were not saying in the cantina.

He stayed quiet long enough for her to say everything she wanted to say. Jackson was appreciative of her honesty, but it took time to process it. That was why he smiled. The Jedi was buying time. While it was not a spar like they had before, they were still dancing around each other with their words. Only now had she taken a strike at him once again.

“Who said I was afraid of you hunting me?”

The insinuation was almost an insult. Jackson was not a coward.

“I think I am more concerned about whatever this thing is. I cannot say it is a bond, and the way you talk it’s like you’re… well… I don’t know. I just know there is part of me that is curious about you. And not just because I think you’re cute.”

They were being honest, right? As far as Jackson was concerned there was no harm in confessing it. It was not like they were confessing feelings. Besides, Jax still had his crush, even if it seemed juvenile.

“So… umm… what is training like for you?”