A sense of pride flashed in her eyes as Master
Syn
spoke about her performance so far. She knew she had come along way from the young girl she had been when she first met him. How she used to scream in terror whenever she saw something scary. It was a great relief the day she learned how to convince the beasties to take a disinterest in her. The mystery of this place however gave her just about as many goosebumps. She felt a bit of trepidation not knowing exactly what to expect, finding his explanation cryptic. Deeply emotional stuff was never her forte. Even when she meditated she would concentrate on the physical nature of the Force, rather than the spiritual or growth aspects.
The memory of her youth flooded her thoughts. Tempest had often frozen in her steps as a great icky thing approached, tossed her head back and shrieked bloody murder. This thought came to the forefront of her mind the instant she crossed the threshold into the
Confessional. She shook her head lightly, as the memory seemed too real.
'Is it already starting?' her own thoughts echoed as if she began a bad trip.
A gentle voice reached out to her.
"You are hesitant because you don't trust in the Force as much as you could."
Had Master Syn just spoken to her?
'Why would you say that?' She turned around but did not see him. She no longer saw the giant Crystal formation, but her vision seemed caught up in an illusion. She tried to fight the onset of the visual manifestation, telling herself it is unreal, but could not return to reality. The Force would show her what it meant by its determination.
Tempest's mind drifted to memories of her past, farther back than eleven the age she had been when she met Syn. She was just about three when her mother long endured a terminal illness. Her daughter in her arms to the last breath. She was then sent to be raised by her father a Jedi.
"You make the right choices based off your instincts we grant you, but you hardly ever raise an inquiry to the Force directly. We have helped you all along."
She saw her father, her real father. He raised her to the age of five, until he was murdered.
Then she saw the man who took her into his home as his own daughter. He along with his wife, raised Tempest, and she had been so traumatized by the event of her father's death that she had for years forgotten about having been witness to his murder.
Her adoptive father had died of natural causes, vowing her to find the Jedi for her training. That is when the Force led her to meet Master Syn.
During her travels around with her Master, he led her into a Temple. She becomes awe inspired by the feel of the Temples, but doesn't go into them if not prompted. She learned that Temples can stir frightening realizations. In that particular Temple on her mission with Master Syn, the Force revealed to Tempest the reality of her past. Her adoptive father whom she presumed loved her, had murdered of her real father. Her perceived reality up to that instance had been happy. Because of this, she felt she had betrayed her real father's memory and his genuine love for her. Everything she felt about her adoptive father tarnished in that instant, yet she also learned that it is because of her presence in his life, that the man who stole her and raised her as his own, became redeemed. Her rage at his sin, her sadness over the true nature of her loss, love destroyed which the spirit of her adoptive father vehemently attempted to reaffirm, and her pity escalated within her spirit all at the same time. The emotion of that moment was most traumatic.
She felt the dysfunctional emotions boil within her being, having no clue what is about to be uncovered next.
Her thoughts took her to the moment she had left Master Syn, when she was only 14. After her awakening, she secretly feared he would hurt her as much as her own father figured had. She refused to give Master Syn a chance to assume the role of father figure, a connection which she perhaps desperately needed.
Master
P
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Grayson too offered to train her in the force, and she left his side without word of warning as well. She thought of Cedric at that moment. How it is true, that the Force had lead her to him as a second choice and her fear lead her to reject him.
She only took her lessons from Jedi on the move.
"Oh my god," she murmured at her revelation, as her knees suddenly buckled under and she slipped down upon her heels landing to sit upon the cave floor.
How should she proceed?
“You decided year’s ago that you don’t want family. While you live your life much like most teen girls, you are against falling in love and having children of your own. You have your whole future planned out regardless of that of the Will of the Force. Asking us not of Our plans for you. Life is short, Tempest. You have numerous decades of your life already decided, all people shut out without justification, all because of what happened in your life before you even reached the age of reason, a tender age when your ability to pass critical judgement was far too immature.”
Her solution must lie in how she ought proceed.
Will it be to continue to follow a path of her own design? Or will this Padawan surrender to the Will of the Force to move her forward?
She sat there for a while, still and not saying a word, struggling to focus her thoughts by ignoring all manner of additional mental intrusion. She perceived that the cavern resounded with beasts that encroached upon her personal space to challenge her, but she cared for them not in the least bit. To confront them now would only be a fleeting moment in time, while the Force requests immediate answers which shall affect her lifelong commitment to it.
Tempest found her center. She felt her mind connect to the Kyber Crystal, all personal memories thrust aside. Inside the Living Force were stored memories of anyone who ever confessed their weakness within this holy place. Her own were recorded here today, Syn's own, and those of hundreds of thousands of Jedi who walked before her. Each was unique to their personal story, and yet many were very similar in nature to her own inhibitions. Each recorded for the taking, to reflect unity, to represent the heart of the Jedi.
She sat there and soaked it all in, feeling one with all others, a welcoming sense of belonging which she ran away from for all those years during her life as a youngling. Then finally she asked her question,
"How shall I proceed?" beseeching the
Will of the Force she had shut out all those times before.
And the presence would answer…