[SIZE=11pt]As Pharazon drifted back into unconsciousness his whole body relaxed, and by the time that Irajah slipped her hands from his he was already asleep. Thankfully, his sleep this time was blissfully dreamless and peaceful, the lines of pain and grief easing on his face, even if the redness remained around his eyes. The only slight awareness his mind experienced was warmth, and a release of stress built up over months of combat deployments, killing, and seeing his men die, sent to their deaths by his own hand. His black hair, usually impeccably clean and combed was unkempt and strewn across his face and neck as he lay on the hospital bed.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]Pharazon was not sure for how long he had been unconscious and sedated as his eyes once again slowly opened. For all he knew it could have been hours, or mere minutes, Pharazon was not sure and cared little. Slowly blinking his eyes open, memory and awareness greater and clear than the first time he had awoken, he took in the room. Sterile white medical equipment and monitors hooked to his body, monitoring and recording his vital readings and the level of various drugs in his system. Vision finally clear, he could also make out various medical staff scurrying about in the corridors outside his room, which he also noted, he was not in a ward but in a private, at least for a hospital, room. Turning his head slowly to look around in more detail, he considered that it may be because of his rank or a favour from someone high in Central Command or… he looked at his right leg, his right thigh more accurately, or because of... that [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]he thought, disturbed, closing his eyes for the instant it took for his legs to move out of his peripherals.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]As he looked again out into the corridor, Pharazon saw what appeared to be civilians, family members of the wounded or the dead he supposed. He paused, watching as a woman and two small children walked past, the apparent mother keeping her young son and daughter close, pointedly saying to one of them to no gawk at a patient. She must mean me [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]he thought dejectedly, his mind taking it as evidence of his abnormality, of his irregularity, that he was now a sad spectacle and cautionary tale rather than a man. As they finally passed beyond his limited viewpoint out the doorway, he rested his head back onto the pillow and bed.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]Relaxing again, slowly so as to avoid aggravating the plethora of bruises that covered his body, still capable of causing him pain despite the painkillers if he moved too violently. As he placed his head down, a thought came to him No one will visit me like that, my family will not come, by the mists… they don’t even know I am here, I wonder whether they would even care [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]he thought in a mix of angry frustration and surprising sadness. He had thought of his family sparingly in the two years since he had fled Hapes, but the old anger and sadness connected to them was still strong as the feelings descended upon his mind. He pictured each of them in turn, his beloved sister Elenthyia, as beautiful as any Hapan but with a magnificent intelligence and capacity of empathy. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]She was always closest with me even over her full sister… but does she even live? [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]Thoughts of her made him even more angry at his current state, cursing his incompetence at allowing himself to be wounded. Then came the visage of his other sister, not so much beloved, Bethelthyia the very picture of a Hapan noblewoman, conceited and viscious yet brutally capable given her training and service in the Chume'doro, the infamous within the Consortium Hapan Royal Guard. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]I am sure if she were here she would shoot me or drag me back to Hapes or one of our family's compounds elsewhere in the Cluster [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]he continued his conceited internal dialogue with himself decisively. There was little love lost between half-brother and sister, there would be a reckoning should the two meet again. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]She will pay for hounding me through the Outer Rim.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]His thoughts then turned to his uncle Lithaldor, his father figure, the man who had effectively raised him and protected him within the cut throat realm of Hapan palace politics. If only he could see me know, squandering everything he put himself through, everything he sacrificed for me [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]Pharazon was growing increasingly distressed again, emotions overtaking his rational mind again, eyes welling up once again. Then his mother appeared. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]Why mother… [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]was all he could think, any other memories too painful for him to contemplate in such a public place. All he felt were mixed emotions concerning the woman that had born him. He sympathised with but also despised her.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]Then, suddenly, he found himself pondering his biological father. He had never been able to learn anything of him, not even from his uncle. He only knew that his name was Pharazhar, and even that he only knew because it was a part of his own name, which, according to his uncle, was in the style of his father’s people, whoever they were, which gave sons the middle names of their father and paternal grandfather. I am sure wherever he is in the galaxy, if he is still alive, he doesn’t care, perhaps he doesn’t even know I exist... [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]Pharazon’s mind cleared after that thought. He knew dwelling on all the people who would not be coming to see him or care about him was dangerous, and liable to make him furious or anguished, and he had enough of both for a lifetime.[/SIZE]
Perhaps Cain or Sandalphon might be here… Cain and Sandalphon, Mustafar… Do they even still live… Did we carry the day… or am I a survivor of a disaster… [SIZE=11pt]his heart rate increased, he began [/SIZE][SIZE=14.6667px]fidgeting[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] in his bed, sweat began to bead on his face. He opened his mouth, and tried to call someone in, but could only wheeze before he broke into a cough that showed him the futility in trying to say anything above a whisper.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]But then a voice came over the hospital intercom, Grand Moff Fortan... she lives [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]he recognised weakly. As he listened to the announcement his heart quieted and he lay back once more. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]Victory… the 189th and the rest of the army must have broken through to the mine... but who died under my command when I lost unconsciousness, who in the 189th is in this very hospital [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]his mind grimly pondered. However, there was no way for him to discover answers to any of these questions now, and he knew it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]And so he lay back in his hospital bed still, trying to keep his emotions in check, his face was still red and distressed, he still despised himself, but he allowed the news of their victory and his now confirmed knowledge of the survival of [member="Irajah Ven"] and Grand Moff [member="Natasi Fortan"] survival to comfort him. His eyes fluttered, and again he drifted back into sedative induced unconsciousness after emotionally exhausting himself.[/SIZE]