Private First Steps

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"Our whole life is about training, so there's no reason to rush anything," Valery said as she sat down herself and began pouring the girl a cup of her finest tea. Made using local herbs, so it was likely a flavor she hadn't tried before. After sliding the cup over, Valery poured herself one and leaned back into her chair, already feeling even more relaxed than before. "I also value the bonds and relationships we form with each other. Jedi often find themselves together in situations that are about life and death, or severely impact the futures of other people."

"Making sure we know each other and that we're open among each other to speak about ourselves, our troubles and the things that we enjoy... well, it's important." She smiled and raised a cup to her lips to gently blow over the surface of the hot liquid. It helped cool it down, and also spread its calming scent.

On the topic of differences between the Jedi, Valery paused for a moment. She hadn't really wanted to get too deep into some of these differences, knowing how sensitive of a topic it could be, but the Padawan asked good questions. Questions that deserved an honest answer.

"We all have different thoughts, and in most cases, they don't separate us enough to start new Enclaves. We can accept different views because some things are still quite subjective. But there have also been Enclaves who deviated from the typical Jedi a lot more. The Corellian Green Jedi are an example, and so was my old Enclave."

"My old Enclave's views regarding the Dark Side were far more extreme. They did not believe in the redemption of Sith or fallen Jedi, so members of that Enclave were more aggressive and their focus was on hunting down anything touched by the Dark Side." It had been her job for many years, both as a member of that Enclave and as a Jedi Shadow.

"But you're right — it's complicated," Valery said and began to chuckle. "The Jedi these days are very different. More open to differences and better in tune with themselves."

Teynara Jeralyr ​

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Valery Noble |​

Teynara sat quietly and with a touch of expectation in her posture as she waited for Valery to sit down and pour the tea. Part of her thought it would have been more appropriate for her to serve the older woman – after all, she was the student, not the Master – but she also had to remember that she was the guest in someone else's home, so-to-speak, even if the Jedi Temple was open to all. Though she's been a resident here for longer than I've been around, judging by her story, so it was best not to try and usurp Valery's prerogatives as a host. Besides, it's nice to let someone serve you tea every now and again. There was something charming about it – a good beginning to any relationship or encounter. Maybe if we served our enemies tea, we'd have fewer of them. That thought amused her considerably.

Valery's words about getting to know each other struck a chord, and Tey paused for a moment to reflect on them, whilst accepting a cup of tea and sitting back comfortably in her chair. She liked the feel of the teacup and saucer in her hands, too – they were made of some smooth stoneware, solid and weighty, but equally looking delicate enough that they would smash against the floor if she were to let go. Very appropriate for our conversation: light and relaxed on the surface, but heavy beneath it. She could appreciate the symbolism there, as well as the tea.

The idea that Jedi had to be open to each other and cultivate relationships among themselves – that helped to explain what a Jedi Master was doing sitting here talking to a student that was fresh-off-the-shuttle rather than doing something considerably more important. I suppose we're all going to be in this together, whether in the field or at home in the Temple. Perhaps that was the reason behind that strict hierarchy that the Jedi had spoken about: here and now, it could be one person to another, but on duty, you had to know exactly how you fit in, who was giving orders and who was taking them. Otherwise things could get considerably muddled. It'd be screw-ups by democracy, otherwise!

"I'm sorry, some of what you're saying is going a little over my head," Teynara had to admit, looking at the other woman with a touch of concern. Jedi hunt down others? That didn't strike her as in keeping with what she knew about them. And then the terms she used... "Fallen Jedi? Sith? Dark Side? The way you say them...they don't sound like anything particularly positive." Indeed, it had been hard to mistake the way Valery's voice had cooled ever-so-slightly when she spoke of them. "Though I'm glad things are more tolerant now. I'd probably struggle more if they weren't. I was always taught that it was important to accept and embrace the differences between us." She took another sip of her tea, enjoying the warm scent of it running through her. "If we were all the same, it'd be a very dismal universe."

Of course, she had a feeling that such a simple philosophy couldn't be applied to everything the Jedi did – as they'd already discussed, sometimes Jedi had to fight and even cause harm to others, so there clearly had to be a dividing line in there somewhere. Otherwise you'd simply let anybody do anything they wanted. But if you stand in opposition to another, there's clearly a point of no return. She wasn't sure what that was yet, but Valery had made it clear that Jedi were there to help people – perhaps that simply meant that the dividing line was what the Holonet had talked about: Jedi would only fight if people were being hurt by others. Though that sounds like a long morality lecture all by itself.

"This tea is delicious, by the way," she added, resting the cup back down in her lap. It was an odd thing: on a jungle world with the humidity such as it was, she wouldn't have thought that hot tea would be something overly helpful, but this one was a variety that she'd definitely have to get the recipe for. Weird to have something that can be both hot and yet cooling at the same time. She was just starting to see parallels in everything today... "Thank you for sharing it with me."

​

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery blinked, realizing she was talking to a Padawan who hadn't quite learned about everything just yet. The Dark Side and its various flavors of users were still unknown to her, but it wouldn't be for long. Perhaps she should have already been taught before coming here, unless this was her very first day as a member of the Order. Either way, she needed to understand the darker side of the Force and the various risks that came with expanding one's knowledge of the Force.

The temptation of the Dark Side.

"Well, as Jedi we use the Force but we do restrict our use in certain ways. We connect with what we call the Light Side, and use our gifts to help other people. There's also the Dark Side of the Force — an aspect that can cause great harm to people and corrupts its users with a lust for power and control. Its call begins with simple temptations. Using the Force for selfish reasons or to take the easy way on the expense of others."

"Much of its use is unnatural and defiles nature, such as the manipulation and twisting of animals or other living beings." There was a lot more to say about it, but she figured this was a good starting point.

"A fallen Jedi is a Jedi who has gone down this darker path, and the Sith are an organization built around the Dark Side and a code that promotes the idea of control and power over others."

Teynara Jeralyr ​

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Valery Noble |​

Cradling her cup of tea in her lap, taking a small sip every so often while she digested what Valery had said, Teynara had to admit that this was all definitely out of her realms of experience. Sure, she understood the idea that the Jedi used what they called "the Force" as a means of performing the great abilities that they had, and that they did so with a view to helping others...but what the Jedi Master was saying was a whole different school of fish. To use the Force for selfish reasons is dangerous for you as well as for others? That was new.

In some respects, it tracked with what she had known about the Jedi before first approaching them: they were always the heroes of their stories (except for a handful of the older ones, which suggested that the Jedi had been traitors to the Old Republic, but she didn't buy that), but that invariably meant that there had to be antagonists: slavers, pirates, droid armies, but every so often...people who also used lightsabers and tended towards severe megalomania. But that's surely all hyperbole, just a cliche evil bad guy there to make the Jedi seem more benevolent. Isn't that how it was supposed to work.

Thus, what Valery had said was something of a revelation – a feeling that Tey was getting used to at this point – as if to suggest that the bad guys that the Holonet had depicted were actually real. And maybe had started out as Jedi themselves, until they ended up - what was the term she used? - corrupted. That was perhaps the scariest thing she'd heard in some time. Not necessarily because they were something to fear – it was more that they'd started out in the same place that she was doing now, and yet had been corrupted and become the very thing that the Jedi fought against. Could that happen to her? Or to Valery? And, if so, how did one protect themselves against that? It can't be as simple as just not being selfish.

"I can't imagine wanting to have control over others in the first place. We have enough to do just trying to keep our own lives on track!", the young woman noted, shakily taking another sip of her tea in order to help calm the tempestuous thoughts that were parading through her mind now. "And it doesn't sound like it's something done to willing participants, so you'd have to use threats, coercion or violence." The student shuddered a little at the thought – she'd known bullies before, but to learn of some that possessed the powers of the Jedi (and perhaps even more!) elevated that concern considerably.

"I'm starting to see why you chose to specialise in protecting others, if that's the sort of threat that must be out there," Teynara added, taking a deep breath and reflecting on the reality that being a Jedi meant more than just providing humanitarian aid and trying to keep others from getting into trouble. It could well mean the difference between life and death. How do you navigate something like that? "You can't just be a "Keeper of the Peace", as they call it, can you? Not if there are those that would shatter the peace in order to assert control. You'd have to actively fight people like that...". Her voice trailed off as she considered the implications. This all just got a little more complicated – do I really want to have to go to war to do my duty as a Jedi?

She felt as though she had a million questions that she wanted to ask Valery now, but Teynara had a sense that they weren't the sort of thing that were best rushed into. After all, I don't even know what it means to be a Jedi yet, much less what it looks like to fall away from that path. Still, it was definitely something she needed to look into. I need to know what to avoid, and how to prevent myself experiencing that 'corruption'. She didn't like the sound of that at all – and the last thing she wanted was to become the sort of person that would hurt others for the sake of her own ambition.

"I can't help but think that every answer you give me just provokes more things I want to ask, Master," she noted with mild chagrin. Perhaps that was just the nature of Jedi Masters: always provoking students into learning, whether they wanted to engage with it or not. Or it could just be that you're overthinking things again, Tey. That was never a possibility to be discounted. "I really don't know how it is you do that."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

The gears were starting to turn.

Valery could see it, as Teynara thought about the answers she was given. Every topic provoked more questions and each answer Valery gave to try and satisfy her curiosity, only sparked a whole new wave of questions. It made the Jedi Master chuckle, and it certainly made this discussion a lot more interesting than the typical conversation over tea.

"That's the wonder of being new to this. There's so much to learn and if someone can trigger you just right, you can easily get motivated to learn and ask more questions." Valery smiled warmly at the girl, then raised her cup to her lips for a careful sip. There was still something she wanted to share about their current topic, but it was something serious.

Something she needed to think through a little.

"To answer some of your questions though, there's something important to know. There will always be people who try to raise themselves above others. They will usually do this with intimidation, corruption, or even violence, and it's not just limited to these Sith or fallen Jedi either." It was a grim reality, but it was an important one to understand.

The Galaxy was not perfect.

"So, in a way, you're right. I'd like to think we're still keepers of the peace when we fight against this evil. If we didn't fight, there could never be peace, after all. But in that process of resisting these Sith, fallen Jedi or anybody who seeks to do harm, it's crucial that we never lose ourselves."

Teynara Jeralyr ​

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Valery Noble |​

"Oh, I've never had trouble finding motivation for learning," Teynara noted in response to Valery's words on that front. Yes, it was always helpful to find someone willing to encourage your curiousity, but Tey was the sort that would seek out answers regardless of whether anyone was there to prompt her. "The difficulty isn't in wanting to learn – it's in knowing what direction to go with it, and what to do with what I've learned". As she was finding with the Jedi Master, every answer prompted a dozen more questions, and it sometimes felt like that would never really stop. And I'm not entirely sure that I want it to. When you run out of questions, you probably run out of novelty. That sounded like a cruel and unusual fate for anyone to have to suffer.

It was true what Valery said, though: there would always be people who tried to elevate themselves above others in one way or another. Teynara had never really understood it: that drive to be better, even when there was no real competition to be had. She'd always taken it as a sign of insecurity or self-hatred, someone trying to prove either to themselves or to the world that they weren't really as bad as they genuinely knew themselves to be. Thus, if I'm better than you, you must be inferior to me, and I can't be as weak as I thought. Ridiculous idea, really, and one that would always lead to a state of discontent, she felt – after all, you'd never be better than everyone at everything, so you'd always come up short. That would only ever make you feel frustrated, or perhaps even angry. It's a vicious cycle that only ever comes back to bite you.

Was the Jedi Master suggesting that those that the Jedi actively opposed were all like that? I can't imagine someone with Jedi powers being that way – the damage they would be able to inflict would be horrifying, to say the least. Perhaps that was why the Jedi trained as they did, and why Valery spoke so casually about being a warrior, someone whose responsibilities would have to include inflicting violence where it was called for. If you've got those willing to hurt others for the sake of their egos, then you'd have to have someone willing to stand up to them. That definitely felt like the right thing to do.

"It sounds like it'd get frustrating after a while," she admitted, thinking it through. "If there are always people that will hurt others out of ambition or frustration with themselves, you have to know that you'll never truly put a stop to it." It would be an eternal struggle – and she should know, having seen the same things thousands of years ago and seeing them again now. "I think I'd find it hard not to feel despairing of that fact after a while – or maybe just angry that I couldn't fix it." And wouldn't that cause problems in turn?

Taking another sip of her now-cooling tea, the young woman sat silently for a moment, wondering how it would be possible to escape that particular emotional trap. I suppose some awareness of the fact that we can't fix everything would help...but equally, if you can never solve the puzzle, why attempt it at all? That sense of nihilism felt ridiculous to her, but it sounded like the Jedi were stuck in some form of long-term loop that just kept repeating itself. Maybe we all are...and nobody's found a solution to it yet.

"How do you cope with that awareness?", she asked softly, her eyes flicking between the Jedi Master sitting opposite her, and the tea set that rested between them. "Nothing we can do is ever going to be enough, by the sounds of it. Do we just have to limit ourselves to the small successes in order to stop ourselves going crazy?"

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"What I don't believe we can achieve is peace forever," Valery began when it seemed that this eternal loop of fighting was weighing heavily on Teynara's mind, "But we have enjoyed peace many times — decades of it, even. We fight and work hard for those moments, and do our best to make people's lives worth living, even if we all go through harder times as well." Valery smiled softly and raised her cup back to her lips for a sip and a moment of thought.

"For me personally, I also look at my children and find a lot of strength. What I do can help them be happier, or may even keep them from having to fight the same battles that I'm involved in now. I'll happily throw myself into the suffering of war to keep them from ever having to do the same." War always meant suffering one way or another, and Valery had gone through some extremely difficult times because of it. But knowing who it helped, both within her own family circle and across the Galaxy, she'd never make a different choice.

"Some, perhaps myself to some extent, also fight and continue as Jedi, hoping that it might one day be possible for peace to last despite the Galaxy's history. That we don't see a new emerging of the Sith anymore, or any other group capable of the destruction and harm we've seen too many times." It was what every Jedi wanted, at the very least, but perhaps her own history made her less positive about this prospect.

Her time in stasis had changed a lot about her views.

"If anything, we should do what we do to make tomorrow a better day for everybody."

Teynara Jeralyr ​

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

| Valery Noble |​

Of course, it's obvious, isn't it? If you can't achieve long-term peace, you should focus on settling for the short-term, and do your best to sustain it as long as you can. Val's thoughts on the matter gave Tey a little more perspective on the nature of the Jedi there: she had said that there were healers and others who worked in the shadows...perhaps that explained the room that they had to perform such roles. Instead of fighting in present wars, we spend our time trying to mitigate the harm they cause, or trying to prevent them. That made a great deal more sense to her – and it fit better with that notion of serving life that the Masters had spoken of.

Master Val must think I'm a real idiot, Teynara reflected sourly, irritated at herself that such an obvious conclusion hadn't sparked more immediately, and that she'd needed so much input in order to figure that out for herself. She'd always thought of herself as being a little mentally sharper than that, but apparently not. It was frustrating...but equally, she noticed that Valery hadn't demonstrated any impatience at the lapse, so clearly she was well-practiced as a teacher dealing with slower students. Lucky for me, then!

"Does having children change your perspective about your role as a Jedi?", she asked, putting aside her personal misgivings for now in order to focus on something more useful. "They must be quite a commitment, so I would imagine you'd have to put aside your Jedi duties for a while to take care of them". In truth, Tey wasn't sure she could see having kids being in her own future – it felt like she was signing up to something that would be all-consuming. And I bet kids are a real complication on more than a few levels. "Are you training your children to be Jedi, so that they follow in your footsteps?"

Probably too many questions, but she doesn't seem to mind that. That was no doubt the downside of their lopsided positions: Valery knew everything that Teynara wanted or perhaps needed to know, and there would be little that Val could gain from their exchange other than a distraction, or perhaps insight as to why someone would come to the Jedi – as if she didn't already have a fair idea of that already.

"Though, in thinking about it, I could see your children being a strong motivating force for your Jedi service," the young woman remarked, recognising that whilst family could well be an obstacle that would require a lot of time and effort to be devoted to it, it might equally serve as a driving force: Valery would want to change the galaxy not for herself, but for the betterment of her family. "I heard that having children wasn't encouraged much in the old Order – when I had my induction, the Masters said they also usually didn't train adults. It sounds like a lot of things have changed."