His Light Casts No Shadows
Blaster fire rang out behind my head. Lightsaber clutched with white knuckles. Holding tight to what was ahead of me. A shroud in shadow as they charged to me. A blade of power swung with strength. A hand released my saber to tilt to my side. Letting the blade slice through the space inches from my face. Feeling it part the air it violated. The buzzing of its tone hummed past me. My own saber retorted. Coming out with a quick jab towards center mass. A wide flick of my wrist to press into the length of their space. Applying pressure for me to step inward with my left foot. My saber hand lashing out to pommel strike the shade. Yet no damage was done. Just fading through its head as if it were not there. Overhead the sword came down quick. Quicker than I could react. Even trying to bring my hands up to shield myself.
The dream broke. I awoke with a start in my bed. Breathing heavy and labored as if my nightmare had been what I dealt with. Eyes scanning the room with lit saber in hand. Outstretched and preparing for danger, when there was none. A deep breath in as my eyes closed. Releasing the tension and letting the horror fade from my mind. The ripping of the air led to silence as the saber turned off. I needed to steady my breathing. Taking deep breaths with my diaphragm and my stomach. I moved unconsciously to pull my knees to my chest. Arms wrapped around them. Holding tight to anything. Focusing deeply for a moment before I felt someone's presence. I knew who it was without looking. Head down in my knees as I could hear her voice.
"Bad dreams?"
The question didn't need answering. Her voice rough for who she was, but it had the smallest point of charity and consolation. Another deep breath drawn into my chest. Slowly releasing it while counting down. 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...
"Yeah. Same as last time."
"Many go through what you are. You should seek help about it."
"I did. Didn't work out."
"And so you give up?"
"No. I'm being practical."
There was a silence before her voice started to speak, then stopped. Slowly I could feel her presence fade. Not leaving me completely, but enough to give me time. As if she were watching me from the door of my room instead of being directly next to me. Even if she wasn't really here. One last deep breath before I stood. Walking over to the mirror. Eyes scanning myself for a mere moment. The Scars deep into my flesh before the mirror shifted to open into a closet. Grabbing my clothes and gear, I got dressed. Sliding things on one at a time. Just trying to keep myself sane. Hands shaking softly as I tied my boots. A hesitation as I looked at my fingers. Shaking akin to the leaves in a crosswind. Hand closing to a fist as I closed my eyes. A shake of the head before finishing up the tying of boots. Ignoring what was going on. Standing up as if it was going to steele my resolve and determination. A farce to hold something, anything.
A few moments later, I walked down the ramp Explorer Class. A pit droid skuttling away. Roaches that skittered when yelled at. Eyes scanning as I walked through the port. Not caring about others or what may have been anyone's attention. Just taking my own time to move through the port before sliding through a side door out to a rocky outcrop. Looking out as the star in the sky provided light to this world. Teth.
"Time to work."
Eyes scanning out to what was ahead of me. Just... unsure what work actually was now.