Feedback on Miss Blonde and Syndicate's New Direction

[Miss Blonde]

So I've never done this before and it's normally because I had this idea that I know I'm terrible and I shouldn't care what people think about me or my writing. But as I develop myself and my style of writing more and more I find myself wanting feedback on my character and plots that I've been laying down.

So when I first started off the Black Tie Syndicate it had heavy themes and references to Quentin Tarantino who is my favorite director, and since then I've sort of been evolving it. Blonde used to be about the ultra violent and witty dialogue and while that was certainly fun to write, it really wasn't what I wanted as a writer, I wasn't happy with it.

Lately though as Syndicate has evolved and I've had it hit this patch of Existentialism and Nihilism they just fit the character and the organization perfectly. And I think that it has something to do with my depression and my general sadness that I feel towards the world at large, maybe Hemingway was on to something. Anyways.

We see a lot of these summer action blockbusters here on Chaos in the form of invasions and dominions, and while we can have fun and watch some force user in a robe lightsaber some other guy in a robe, we don't really connect with it. We are simply sitting back and watching events as they unfold and enjoying them, and while there's nothing wrong with that because I certainly enjoy reading invasions. It's only problem is that it doesn't provoke me in any way.

I think what I want with my writing on both privately and on chaos is to not have people sit and watch from afar, and not to have them imprint themselves onto the character and experience the events. I want my readers or fans or people who just enjoy reading my threads and private works to follow my plots, to feel from them, and to learn and be discipled by these thought provoking themes and moments.

SO! Here are some of my most recent threads and if you would be so kind I'd love feedback on Miss Blonde and the more recent threads that we've been doing. I thank you and I hope that you can all really let me know how you like it. If you don't want to read any of these threads then that's ok, just give me your opinion on Blonde in general.

The Beaten Path
Savages
Cities Made of Glass

 

[Zaazz Amako]

I know nothing barely anything Blonde or the Syndicate, but looking at these posts, you have a pretty good character.

[member="Miss Blonde"]

 

[Natalie LaForte]

Very good and down to earth character

[member="Miss Blonde"]

 

[Delila Castillon]

[member="Miss Blonde"]


Haven't followed much of your Syndicate stuff, but I enjoy reading Miss Blonde's relationship with Abyss. You two work good together.

 

[RC 212]

[member="Miss Blonde"]

Writing

Miss Blonde,

I am a huge fan of your work. I have written with you over the years with Many different Chars and Alts. All in all I've enjoyed every bit of it. I like the way you space your paragraphs, and color your dialogue. I like that when I'm reading your posts as well, your char feels believable to me. I can actually feel what she is feeling and put myself right there in the scene and look around.

Your character development has been impeccable. You are branching out in a new direction, which I admire. Most folks stay in their comfort zone.

My Challenge

• I would like to see you enter more Open/Public threads now that you are a civilian and simply interact with newer chars and folks.
• I'd like to see more of how her past affects raising her child.
• I'd like to see you run into someone you've wronged horribly as your new self. What happens then?

All in all, excellent!

Cheers!

 

[NightSister]

I like Miss Blonde, she's a good character and her story is well done. Honestly don't know what else to put - she's very nicely fleshed out and your writing's pretty neat. Keep doing what you're doing.