Feedback Feed Me Your Feedback

[Darth Bellum]

A lil drawing I did for Vexen out of boredom​

So, I'm fast approaching the three-year mark for Vexen's life as my primary character as well as my overall time on Chaos and wanted to do a quick check-up to see where I'm at and also jump on the Feedback bandwagon. I've already planned for some rather massive changes to occur in his future as a character, but I also wanted to gauge his present self to see what aspects I should keep and what I should try to avoid carrying over when I do bring about the next chapter in his story. Feel free to rip and tear till it's done, no need to hold back. This is both a gauge for Kor Vexen the character and myself as a writer.

- Sincerely, ​

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Your Favorite Brain Slurper​

Some points I'd like feedback on from anyone wishing to partake in this feedback thread are the following -

• | Presence | Does Vexen being around have any bearing on anything? Does he make your character feel anything or notice them; does it add any sort of meaningful weight to the thread itself? Do you dread or enjoy it when he joins a thread from an OOC perspective? How does he make you feel overall?
• | Writing | Is he an interesting character to read/write with or is he dry and stale? Is the way he's written done well or poorly, and what (If applicable) could be done better. Is my writing of him on the boring side or does it compel you to want to read more?
• | Enjoyability | This is pretty straight forward. Is he fun to roleplay with or does he make you want to stay as far away from as possible?

Those are the three main points I'd like feedback on about Vexen as a character, but you're free to add/comment/critique any other aspect you can come up with.

 

[Grrwunhoooll Agaburry]

Spoiler

Presence: ICly THE Lord of
Assimilation very much has a Darth Marr/Darth Vader feel to them and because of that it makes your character feel very in charge of whatever environment he is in. A calm in the storm but no less dangerous. Intimidating on the RP scene. Without words or dialogue its established. There is a weight or heft to it most def. Kor Vexen is a perfect example of someone that could say nothing and still speak volumes. A Tywin Lannister type.

The writing: Your writing of Kor Vexen is interesting. To simply say, its exact, precise and the writing style helps add to and flush out Kor's overall personality. I havnt read too many threads of the character in combat. Id like to see him in the field of battle more often. Get dirty, wounded or even Also It would be nice to get a solid good look into Kor Vexens inner emotions. The "whys" essentially. His inner dialogues and mental struggles. Happyness, Doubt, sorrow, guilt, despair, woe and etc. Kor ICly is a aged character with plenty of experience in life where could that be shown and reflected in his emotions or thoughts?

Oh the joys: I dont need to interact with your character directly to say I enjoy reading your posts. Always a cool read.

 

[Darth Empyrean]

• Overall -
  • While I don't have as much reasonable experience with Kor as many on the site, I'll give what I've seen through viewings of your threads and writings. The first being that I can agree he comes off like a 'Darth Vader' type, at least seems to be the hope - but I can't rightfully say he fills that gap for any of my characters, nor reading him as 'oh wow' sorta spooky. Not to say the 'tall, dark, and brooding' isn't a totally achievable style one could go for with the character, just that it never really came off all that amazing. More mundane? If possible, I'd definitely look at giving him interesting ticks, things that really define his character that aren't necessarily predictable - as the one experience I have of him taking serious damage, he suddenly went 'FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO CAN HARM ME', which seemed... very anime villain ish? Certainly could be a nice angle to approach about what defines him from other brooding sith, and how to break out from that very saturated crowd.
• Writing -
  • To reiterate, Kor isn't a bad character by any means, nor is your writing of him. However, there are times where he simply doesn't differentiate himself from traditional sith on the board. If that's the point of him, then there isn't many critiques to make, he is an excellent generic bad guy that falls into the legions of others. Yet, I'd hope there's more to him than the cold, dead commander that comes off very... cold and dead. Theres depths to be reached, and subtleties that could be tied into to play into that trope, without being too much the same.
• Enjoyability -
  • There isn't so much a like for Kor as a character, nor is there a dislike. Again, I think his biggest issue is he simply doesn't seem to break free of the mold too much, and it really hinders his enjoyability. The writing skill is there, the detail and prose is exceptional, but the characterization just seems to be playing the smallest bets it can at a table that all-in is all that's remembered. Exceptional potential, but no follow through at the moment.

All that being said, I hope his next arc in the NIO lets him expand on what he does, how he does it, and allow people a chance to find fear in him - for what he can be. Theres a lot there, but there definitely needs to be some work in making him more identifiable beyond his picture and aesthetic, or else we might just have another 20 Sith Lords in big armor who talk small and spook people with force powers, and wheres the fun in that?

Darth Bellum