Family is More than Blood (Keira, PM for Invite)

[Yasha Cadera]

The message was clear enough for Mand’alor the Infernal to step out of her duties at the Palace and come to a lonely member of the Mando’ade. So it was Yasha Mantis took her bes’uliik Solus Rekr into the wilds.

Draped in her armour, helm doffed for the comfort of her braided hair atop her head, the tall Epicanthix came to the rebuilding homestead of [member="Keira Verd"]. Word reached Mand’alor that Keira lost her son in the divorce, and feeling such grief could never be pertinent baggage to carry.

[member="Adara Raxis"] was safe with Kain’ik and the Nannies, [member="Beth Australis-Mantis"] was getting some much needed schoolwork done. Mandalore spun on, yet it seemed for the two broken women that life stood in statuesque stillness.

The statue needed tearing down.

“Keira.” Black painted lips spoke into the stillness. Yasha held out a peace offering, her ferocious expression the dimmed ache of a woman, who with a glance, understood some of the similar pains between them. “Tihaar?”

 

[Keira Priest]

Distraction was the next best thing, and it was what Keira had sought out once the liquor stopped doing its job properly. There was only so much release that could be found in destruction, and so she turned to creating something instead. That led her to what remained of her clan's home on Mandalore, and what was to be done in order to restore it, here or elsewhere. So few of Verd remained that the decision truly only lay in the hands of herself and her two siblings, and much like them she cared little for location, only that they have a home to return to once more.

Grief, however, got in the way of decision-making much like it had everything else recently, but being ever stubborn she pressed on. That is, until the sounds of an engine overhead broke the silence. Departing from her work, she responded to gift and greeting both with only a nod, uncertain of what to say. Words escaped her recently, nothing capable of encapsulating the wave of emotion she'd been riding for these past few days. Silence hung in the air for the next few moments as she again imbibed in her single long-standing vice, this brew decidedly not Corellian.

"Y'know, my brother offered to kill him. Maybe I should have taken him up on it."

[member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

For the longest time there was nothing to say.

Two women, whose marriages tanked, one spectacularly and the other with a casual, offensive note. Yasha took the tihaar and let a long drag seep down her throat. She sat on the crest of the small hill leading up to the rebuilding Verd Household, watching construction supplies laid fallow of their craftsman. Construction.

Rebirth… one heck of a retirement plan.

“I could put a hit out on him, you know, for that stupid ‘come with me, Ms. Mand’alor and answer questions of things that happened when you were 12’ thing… dang. Time travel’s a di’kut.” Sipping another mouthful of the hard liquor, Yasha passed it back.

“You still could… I could get Nibs to make us little rage flags and everything… tiny arm guards to put on in solidarity.” Yasha tapped her bicep and sat with her elbows on her knees.

“If memory serves, you’re not stellar on a bes’uliik… are you?” [member="Keira Verd"]

 

[Keira Priest]

Keira would be lying if she said that wasn't a tempting offer, and for a moment or two she heavily considered it. To have the Sole Ruler sanction something like that would cause a manhunt spearheaded by the most deadly among the vode, a prospect all too tempting in its entirety. However, her better judgment prevailed, and she shook her head. "It wouldn't be worth it. Besides, our son is with his father. No matter what was done, Desric deserves to live in peace." Her child was the only thing staying her from violence, and she supposed that was ultimately a good thing.

The two sat in silence for a moment, passing the bottle back and forth as each dwelled on their own separate memories. Finally came the seemingly out of the blue question from the other woman, and she couldn't help but flash a smile. "No, I've only ridden once. On Kashyyyk, when Ra first ruled, when we brought the Republic to their knees the first time." It was a welcome change of topic, and it was probably a good thing to think and talk about something else, for a change.

[member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“So, your Mandalorian-hating Jetii-mook riduur breaks up with you in a sticky note, and hides behind your growing and impressionable son to save himself from our collective and vicious spiny wrath? Did I hear that right?” Yasha raised an eyebrow and nudged [member="Keira Verd"]’s shoulder. “I knew he was trouble the second he thought he could separate me from our vode. Strider took care of that debacle, though. Was good to have the old ba’buir around… who’ve you got around? Hmm? [member="Alkor Centaris"]? [member="Ginnie Dib"]? Anybody else I don’t know about? Sounds lonely.”

She tipped back tihaar until her fingers buzzed and her lips went tingly, taking a sigh and laying back on the dry grass, arm over her light-sensitive eyes. “Kashyyk… oh man I remember that battle! Take it as you will, but I was six during that war.” Chuckling sardonically, Yasha leaned her head to the side and peeked from under her arm at Keira.

“I snuck aboard a drop ship much to my father’s later chagrin. Wasn’t my fault! I’d just gotten back from the Netherworld, and my favourite bedtime storybook was ‘Wembley Woo and the Ewok’ie Gang’. Heard Mama and Daddy talking about him ‘fighting Wookies’ and I heard ‘Ewokies’, and went ‘wait, that’s not fair! Ewoks are Yasha sized!’ grabbed my beskad, and my tomahawk and boots and just…. yep. Faced down a wookie. Screamed like the little girl I was and ran as fast as I could back toward the war turkeys. Found a pistol, shot some 'pubs, though. Saved my Dad...” Shaking her head, Yasha couldn’t help the laugh that came out of her armoured chest. “That was a battle, for sure… seems like you could use some more practice. There’s a canyon not far from here, it opens on the Vong Plains… and they, well, require some careful evacuating, of you catch my lingo… what’d you say? Want to ride on bes’uliik and blow up some vongshapen invasive landscaping before we terraform the heck out of it? There’s explosions in it for you. Wind in your… helmet.”

Sometimes a woman just needed to let her anger spill over, and her trigger finger run dry.

 

[Keira Priest]

"Six?" Raising an eyebrow, Keira didn't bother to disguise her disbelief. Certainly she was well aware of the age difference between them, but with the way the Mand'alor held herself, it hadn't seemed that significant. "Shebs, I didn't think you were that young. That battle was my second time on Kashyyyk, and it definitely wasn't my first time trying to destroy the Republic." It was difficult not to smile at the mental image of a toddler running across the battlefield as if she belonged there, doing her best to take down the enemy with weapons that just weren't made for her size. There was no doubt she was born and raised Mandalorian, that was for certain.

"You didn't hear it from me, but that was one of my brother's first full-scale battles for the Mandalorians. He was still growing into the armor back then. That was a sight to see." It was only his second or third fight since learning how to utilize the beskar'gam properly, and his first time donning the armor had been in a live-fire situation as well. None of them believed in anything short of learning as you went, and she could still remember his confusion when the HUD lit up in front of his eyes for the first time.

Looking across the plains, she nodded. "Suppose now's not a bad time to learn. I don't make any promises."

[member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

"If I told you Ember Rekali and Time Travel were involved, would you believe it? Everyone is still raw from a war I made peace with eight years ago. Or, if not peace, survived too much to let old battles linger. Sure, I'd killed before, monsters, apparitions, hellspawn, prey, but the Civil War... Eh, must be good tihaar, I'm waxing poetic.

It's... Strange is all. I got sent back to this time, for the galaxy to... Implode? Do whatever it's doing. To fulfill the duty an aging gurlanin gave me to look forward to, when I was older, if I didn’t make trouble and learned well. Didn't matter that all he had to do was point, and whatever enemy was in front of me was dead. I was a child soldier. Ruling? It was never supposed to be now. By rights I should be a thirteen year old learning how to function in beskar'gam, like Alkor on Kashyyk. I don’t know how to help you, [member="Keira Verd"]. Not really, not when if I’m honest, my marriage is over. It’s… just done… so…”

Dusting herself off, Yasha hopped up and reached for Keira’s hand. “We fly, we fire, we blow things up. The vongspores are propagating too quickly. We can trust the bes’uliik and go from there.”

Yasha whistled, and two bes’uliik swung over, the first coming close to Yasha’s body, shuffling with an electric growl. Yasha patted it on the siding. “This is Solus Rekr. It’s a bit eccentric, Shia Kryze and I found him with her old Red Eye, hasn’t been defragged in centuries, and gives it…. character. I found the other bes’uliik in the docks, it’s new and quiet. Should be better for someone who hasn’t spent much time bonding with one. Hop in the saddle, and connect your HUD to the interface, and we’ll get started. Nothing says ‘anger out’ than blowing up a bunch of crazy stuff.”

Jumping into Solus’ saddle, Yasha ran her fingers into the controls and Solus shivered.

 

[Keira Priest]

"The galaxy isn't fond of waiting for when people are ready. But if it means anything, you're the first Mand'alor I've seen finally doing right by the people." Keira had followed Isley, then Vilaz, finally ascending the throne herself before retreating from the greater galaxy for some months, returning to see an empire rebuilt and a new ruler at its head. This one had proven herself beyond measure, and so she and her clan willingly followed, exercising their autonomy but backing the Sole Ruler in every way. This meeting, in her mind, was just another example of how this regime stood above the rest in that it demonstrated individual care for each one of the vode in a time of need.

Allowing [member="Yasha Mantis"] to help her to her feet, she approached the second war droid, climbing into the saddle. "I've witnessed more than my fair share of splintering among our people, but this is the first civil war I've watched a unified empire rise from and remain standing. Everyone who's taken the title before has dealt with usurpers and infighting, but you've managed to maintain a unified front. That's something to be proud of." Taking her helmet from her belt, she slid it overhead, a handful of eye movements connecting her to the interface as instructed.

"The point I guess I'm trying to make is that you might not have been ready, but no one ever is, especially not when it comes to a responsibility like leading an entire nation. What you do with that power is what ends up defining you and mattering the most, and so far you're managing better than what I've seen from your predecessors. Everyone starts somewhere. And no matter where you end up, you've got a helluva an army following you."

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“I’m supposed to be helping you feel better, not the other way around.” Yasha shook her head, a brief smile on her face. “Thank you, Keira. I was trained in only three things growing up. Surviving battles by killing, ruling an empire and... Okay if this gets out I deny everything... but... ballet.”

Shaking her head, Yasha put her buy’ce on and the audio projectors filtered her voice. “Even in the Netherworld, Mama refused to let her little killer be undignified. We could be knee deep in the blood of our enemies and she insisted I get my three hours of ballet per day. Made learning diplomatic stratagems and engineering outputs more like a break… I want us to be strong. Untouchable. We’ve already proven we’re unbreakable, we’ve proven we can weather any storm that comes. We can rebuild, and do so much sooner than many thought we could… just like you and I can rebuild our lives, [member="Keira Verd"]. Here, follow me.”

Yasha tilted Solus up into the sky, hovering a good twenty feet above the Mandalorian ground. “Piloting a bes’uliik is one part pilot, one part intuition. They’re complex creatures, and older ones like mine can even develop some form of sapience over time. They’ve got attitude, in other words. Think of it as… commanding one of your siblings. Follow me. Feet in the grooves, fingers in the docking points. keep your weight forward. If all else fails, the bes’uliik will swerve according to your line of sight. So, look where you want to go, not where you’ve been.”

The bes’uliik took off, veering over the Mandalorian landscape. It wasn’t often Yasha got the chance to enjoy herself like this, flying through Manda’yaim and experiencing the planet as it was. Dangerous, admirable fauna combined with the regrowing flora and new landscapes.

A landscape she built even before she was the Infernal. Back, when she was Katlaydr, the Cuir Rekr of Technology and Science. Delight in the journey tempered with her constant recheck of Keira’s position. Soon, they would reach the Vong Wastes, and along the borders of it, Yasha and Keira would burn.

 

[Keira Priest]

All instruction was noted and followed, and as the bes'uliik rose into the air alongside [member="Yasha Mantis"] she adjusted her position just slightly, getting a feel for the relative weightlessness that came with being airborne. The idea of a droid with all the attitude and only slightly less sentience than her younger siblings was a lot to undertake, but if anything she supposed it would give her more experience at governing a family. But then, if it was anything like her brother or sister, it would always have a mind of its own regardless of her suggestions, and that was enough all by itself.

Her flight path followed that of the other woman, and she slowly became confident as she spent more time in the saddle. Part of it was similar to picking up riding a bike after years of absence, but most of it was learning to adjust and adapt in the moment to an experience that was, for the most part, entirely foreign. Her HUD was alight with readings, calculating their height, distance traveled, wind speed, and other notifications she didn't have time to process at the moment. It would have almost been overwhelming, had she not learned which information was pertinent and what was better to ignore at the time.

"If this thing gets half of either of my sibling's attitudes, I might have to rethink it. I love them to death, but they're both a handful on their own." The lighthearted banter was a nice change and distraction, and perhaps an outing like this was just what they both needed to process and get through what was bothering them. The hardships of their daily lives could wait, as right then all that mattered was taking some time to simply breathe and exist.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Drifting through the air was freedom, yet that same freedom came at the security of knowing that Solus would not allow its’ rider to suffer the indignation of ‘falling off’. Ultimately, being able to fly on her beloved bes’uliik was a lesson in conquering fear.

Maybe it would help if Yasha wasn’t secretly terrified of heights and free falls. Solus, well, this bes’uliik was special. Eccentric, yes, but Solus’ hood meant Yasha would never tumble out of the saddle. She could feel safe.

“Aim the same as you fly for now. Look where you want to go, look where you want to shoot and dig into the controls. I’ll steer beside you so we don’t have a friendly fire bes’uliik brawl. See those spores?” Yasha worked her HUD and Solus’ computer, sending targets and data details to [member="Keira Verd"]’s bes’uliik and ‘gam through their own tether.

Being a bes’uliik rider was becoming a technological symbiote to a machine built for fire power and flight. It was dangerous and wonderful, a harrowing beauty to the ability to blow something away.

“Trust your targeting, and your eyes… Hah, no kidding right? You know, Ginnie was the first girl I’d ever seen. I was pulling Mama from Sinner’s Rue, and I got to the Warlock Gate and Isley helped me the rest of the way. Picked Mama up and carried her out. We got medical attention on his ship, and Ginnie showed up, said she had a bead on Preliat… your siblings saved my life. Course Ginnie also had me discover chocolate, and then all bets were off…

… I think I stabbed one of your clansmen? Maybe two? I don’t remember.” Yasha shook her head and triggered the front lasers of Solus Rekr to fire at the Mandalorian countryside. The Vong Wastes needed to be contained…

… was there a better way to grieve?

“You going to tell me how you’re really holding up, or do I have to get us blowing something bigger?”

 

[Keira Priest]

Her responses came slower, her focus on learning to control and appreciate this new facet of being a Mandalorian. She'd never been one for flying before this, but there was something different about a bes'uliik in comparison to piloting a ship. Maybe it was because the droid had a mind of its own, and was in that way comparable to one of her vode. Or maybe it was just because over the years she'd developed an instinctual trust in anything Mandalorian-made, and felt no need to fear for her safety when these were machines crafted by their own people.

Regardless, the thrumming echoed in her armor when she fired, and the destruction was something to marvel at. It might just be worthwhile to put more time into learning how to work with one of the war mounts, and build a lasting bond. If anything, it would be a new hell to rain down on their enemies.

Keira didn't restrain her laugh when there came about the admittance of stabbing her clansmen. "With the direction we'd been heading before I took charge? I don't blame you. They probably deserved it." Not that she was one to talk, given that she'd been seconds away from shooting or stabbing her clan's former scion on multiple occasions. There were some people that simply deserved whatever was coming to them, and those of her ex-family just happened to be part of that select few.

It was, as always, talk of emotion that tripped her up. "I'll be honest with you and say that I have no clue." That was all she could manage for a moment, taking an unsteady breath and swallowing hard. "I...feth, I loved him, and I guess I still do, in a way. He was the love of my life, my world, the only person I'd met who could put up with all of me at the end of the day. Losing him was so hard. Is hard. Makes me wonder if he was lying all those times he said he loved me, and makes me wish I had been when I said it back."

She had to blink away her tears, the line of her jaw hard beneath her buy'ce. "I don't know if I miss him. I think I mostly miss what he represented and what he did for me. But him as a person?" She shook her head. "He sent it all back, y'know. The ring, everything I'd ever given him. As if I'm going to know what to do with all of it." Already she'd burned the note, but she hadn't been able to throw away the rings, or part with the sabacc card he'd given her. Even still, there were some things that were still too sacred.

"I don't hate him for that, though. I would have done the same. But keeping our son? Even he's smart enough to realize the lines that crosses. But he doesn't care. And he's going to be raised a Jedi, with no idea about his heritage. His family. Better to keep him blind than give him a choice, I guess."

[member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“He’s forcing your child to be dar’manda before he even knows the Manda exists. You’re a far kinder woman than I. If Kaden were here and did that, I’d murder him, travel to the Netherworld, chop his soul to pieces and feed them to creeper vines, while letting a terror bird peck out his nethers… and that’s day one…”

Adjusting in the saddle, Yasha sent another line of fire into the Vong Wastes, “I don’t know what love is. I know comfort, possession, mutual defence, the security of knowing the other will stop death from creeping up in the middle of your rest, but love?

We’re supposed to fall, topple off our good sense like the saddle of these bes’uliik and become vulnerable. Definably weak by someone else, who is also in free-fall. We damage our bodies, give them children and for what? I know Kaden loved me, I know he possessed and owned me, hemmed me in and maybe that is love, maybe I just don’t know the Mando’a word for it… but for what?

A baby with Carnifex’s eyes, one he’s hungry to keep close. An empty bed. I saw my parents love each other and it was watching an opera of pure nitroglycerine instead of musical notes. Explosions and stunned, gaping, wounded silence.

Love was destruction. The horror of never leaving, or leaving too soon. Daddy tried, and when he was lucid? When he was present, it was amazing. I… I thought then, ‘this must be love. A man taking his daughter on a trip, a man waking up in the morning to get his daughter ready for tutors and hunting, helping me kill better’, but he left in anger, said he would listen to, but not attend the events in my life and I realized if that was love it was separation. Just like Mama and Ra and Kaden and Silas and… Eli. To Gray, love is hard, it’s a parent with tough boundaries, and to Baiko it’s learning how to serve the right kind of tea…”

A sordid shaking sound came from Yasha’s buy’ce, a sniff paired with the expulsion of air from her lungs. “I don’t know love, Keira. I’ve never truly seen it… but I know death and I know Manda… and your son is called by name to Manda, for he is ours. He is Mando’ad, regardless of his father’s machinations. One day Manda will call your son and he will answer on his own. Any separation you have now is a temporary measure… trust me on that, I’ve seen death and the hereafter more than any sentient being ought.

You will reunite with your son. You will be in perfect congregation one day in Manda, and that day will last eternal. Because all of this pales in compare. All this… all of it is like casting our eyes to a shadow through a darkened buy’ce.” Another shudder stole across Yasha’s audio-augmented voice, the software in her buy’ce attempting to rectify the stuttering noise and increase in moisture within the technological marvel.

“I don’t know love, I cannot help you, I have not felt more than a stroke’s shadow of it. But I know absolutely that it wins. What is Manda but an abject act of communal love, to bind and remain together in eternity as one glorious will, as one hymn and conflagration in direct and accompanying synthesis. Just as I know not love, I know not fear, for I have seen where we go when the end draws our ragged final gasping.

I’ve reached out and in my infancy attempted to grab hold of it and felt the swathe of the Manda whisper in my ears, ‘Not yet, little one. Not now.’ It turned my path back to the Infernal Hell I endured, reminding me that my tasks would not end until Manda’yaim was whole and her bastions eternally defended.

You loved him, and he failed you. He couldn’t become one with you in the way you deserve. Dar’riduur, is his name and no other. I guess… I guess love beyond the eternal Manda is a series of temporary measures. Shoring us up until the next in a compounding litany of events thrusts, or fires or sickens us into Manda’s embrace… I guess I have seen love, then.

In Kaden's angry desires to protect me. In the face of a married man, who had no business looking at me at all. The same man that brought Adara to my arms after she recovered from her birth and taught me how to hold her… I suppose the way he looks at Adara is love. The way he looks at me… but he too will dwindle and fade. He’ll return to his family, be the husband and father they deserve, or he’ll fracture or he’ll be stabbed, torn, shot or twisted into the waiting hymn. My only hope is to reduce the sting of our eventual parting… and to give you the ability to reduce your own… sorry Keira, I’m terrible at advice, it’s… everything is strange here. I know bes’uliik and war and battlements, but love? The art of living? No, I’m sorry, I’m incapable of understanding it as you do. You can’t know something you’ve never had. The wound of your dar’riduur will cauterize and heal, but don’t call it a lie. It wasn’t a lie for either of you. There were parts of it, which were comforting and beautiful and those parts are worth holding in our hearts as long as we can.

It just wasn’t eternal, and that? It has to be okay.” Yasha Mantis sat in the saddle of a bes'uliik she and Shia Kryze pulled defiantly from its' snow-capped tomb. She thumbed the controls for another round of fire, watching the controlled burn of the landscape before them. If love was temporary, it was still enjoyable. If love was fleeting at least it existed...

"It has to be okay, because love wins." The Infernal's eyes stung. She didn't know where Kaden was, if he was in Manda or if he'd disappeared and refused to return. She couldn't see where Kaine was with Beth and Adara, or off on business, or on Myrkr with his wife and children. Yasha was a being out of sync, a terrible calamity of a child thrown where none should enter nor return.

"Love wins. Manda wins. It has to."

[member="Keira Verd"] [member="Cassiopeia Australis"]

 

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

Cassiopeia was looking all over for [member="Yasha Mantis"] and [member="Keira Verd"]. She headed towards their last known location. She needed to speak to them about some official government stuff, military stuff, and just... In general, stuff. Okay, maybe she didn't really need to talk to them but a lot of stuff had happened to both of the women. She wanted to check in with both, make sure they were okay and handling their bad luck okay. She meandered around the palace in search before finally running into a Death Watch guard who told her they had taken some bes'uliik's into the Vong Plains.

With that information, she found her own bes'uliik and hopped in. She punched in some information on the computer systems as it located Yasha through its communications systems. It only took a few seconds for it to lock on her location and she began to drive the starship towards her and Keira's position. She noted that it was going to the Vong Plains which was... Interesting, in truth. Why in goodness where they all the way out there? It would take a little bit of time to reach them even with the ole' bird taking her there.

In either case, she came in at a probably bad time - she overheard almost the entire conversation between Yasha and Keira. Keira, confused about the love she had for her ex and her worry for her son. Yasha, a woman whose husband died after her daughter almost did as well. And... Kaine, Kaine was in love with Yasha? She had seen the looks, the gestures. The signs were there but... She hadn't paid enough attention. Yasha hadn't told her. Cassiopeia honestly wasn't sure if she should continue to come close or leave. It was... A lot to take in, from both women.

But she decided to make herself known to the women. "I'm so sorry, I was looking for you guys and... I heard everything," she said quietly through her comms. Hopefully, they wouldn't be too upset at her eavesdropping. Cassiopeia wasn't sure what else to say. She was happy - she had just had her twins. Her marriage was going great, despite the increasingly difficult roles that strained Raiz as he took over more responsibility. How could she really say anything of comfort without sounding like... Gloating? Things were going okay for her and Raiz. And Cassiopeia was finally feeling back to herself after a very long, hard, illness-ridden pregnancy. Her marriage was okay.

All in all, Cassiopeia felt guilty. "I wish I had better advice, and that I didn't completely just barge into this... But... I believe you both have more love in you than either of you will ever realize and know. For yourselves, for your families, for your friends. I believe you both have hearts of gold and while neither of you may see it, others will always see it." She paused, her hand gripping the throttle as she carefully thought on her phrasing. "Love is tricky, love is hard, but... It is what drives us forward. It is what keeps us going in our darkest moments. And it manifests in so many ways. Such as in this moment."

 

[Keira Priest]

"I don't know if I understand it either." Her voice was uncharacteristically soft, having lost all of its usual edge. This was a side of her few had witnessed, and it was one she hesitated more and more to reveal as years went on. "I've only known it twice." A quiet, bitter laugh. "Or, I thought I had. My brother was right when he said there's a reason we don't marry outside of our people. Especially not shabla dar'jetii and jetii." Both had been a matter of coincidence, something that was now realized as being in the wrong place at the right time.

The next line of explosions brought temporary clarity, even as the weight of it all made itself at home on her shoulders. "The only thing I know for certain is war, how to fight and kill. I knew violence when I was still too young to fully understand it. Death tore my family apart when I was twelve. Seven years later I killed for the first time. Since then, no matter the cause, it hasn't stopped." Keira wasn't proud of her first battles, or her first kill. She'd ended the life of an innocent woman to save her own, and maybe it was the kinder fate, as opposed to leaving her in the captivity of a Vong. It was something she'd never come to terms with.

"I haven't been certain of anything until I was brought into the people. The only love I know will remain is the family I've built here, and the aliit that remained, even after everything. I know the love of a brother and sister, and that we would all three do anything for each other, no matter what it came to. I know the ferocity of clan and home. Of our people." She had learned, through unfortunate circumstance, to not betray the full extent of her emotion. That was a weakness, and she couldn't afford it.

The quiet voice of another broke her from her thoughts, but when her HUD marked the third arrival as a friendly she visibly relaxed. They were on Mandalore. They were safe. It was difficult to reconcile that with her present vulnerability, but she was trying. That was all she'd been able to do in the recent days.

"You don't have to apologize, it's...thank you. It's been a lot, and I..." She searched for words, but there were none. "I don't know."

[member="Cassiopeia Australis"] | [member="Yasha Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“And you can trust the aliit to stay beside you, stalwart to the end?” Yasha asked, mystified that a family could stay…

Simply stay.

It was the utmost outside her experience, that idea of never parting or perhaps of never leaving. For, one could part and enter Manda, without leaving those who still drew breath, but to stay?

To linger beyond battles, beyond disagreements and changes in the tide, to stay despite decisions and fights and bitter words…

To stay….

Mand’alor the Infernal bowed her mighty head, wolf-helm twitching as the limited cognizance could not comprehend the stimulus entering its’ data banks.

Yasha was sobbing.

What was it to stay? What was it to live and linger in a place, where those she loved neither died for or because of her? What was it to live in a universe where Aditya Mantis did not die, too pregnant to run from a volcanic cloud? What was it to live in a cosmos, where the bitter words of a terrified riduur did not shatter the heart of her failing beau? What would life have been if [member="Kaden Mantis"] survived their reunion? If he stayed… If Aditya stayed… If Ra stayed… If Preliat stayed…

Perhaps the Infernal fought so viciously and worked so hard to prove her value to the Vode, who would never love her like she craved to be loved. Here she was, Ruler of the Vode, commander of the armies of Mando’ade, and the closest she came to love was her childhood friend and a failed marriage destroyed by death at twenty years old. There she was, the Infernal, who commanded the keys of the bastions of Chaos itself and she could not command a man to stay.

She could not command herself to release the fear clinging to her ribcage… and love him as he should be loved. “I shot my first sentient to death at six years old, clinging with both hands on the pistol, because it had too much kick. I pretended it was my rifle, it was big enough to be in my tiny hands… You married dar’jetii and jetii?” The voice which entered [member="Cassiopeia Australis"] and [member="Keira Verd"]’s ears was a whisper augmented by audio projectors. It echoed, resounding syllabic gongs, in the ruin of their silent guns.

“Something kept me alive in my darkest moments, and it wasn’t love… or if it was, it wasn’t a recognizable love. Instinct, maybe… unless… unless I’m too much the monster to see it… but that cannot be it.”