Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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E.X.O

Name: The E.X.O

Designation: Sentient

Homeworld: unknown

Language: able to mimic any language once they have herd it thanks to there voice modual

Average height of adults: there is no 1 size they can be but the average is between 6-8 foot

Skin color: Not really skin per say more of a synthetic skin (common colours= red, white, green & yellow

Hair color: no hair

Breathes: they don't need to they are asentally aliens in robotic body's

Strengths: bio-synthetics/bio-mechanics allows each individual to download there conciseness into other body's (there memories were downloaded into a computer which put the memoirs into an AI core basically cloning there conciseness) & it allows enhanced senses & physical attributes

Weaknesses: saseptabal to hacking & they arnt skilled fighters(after the uprising most took out there own ability to fight)

Distinctions: bio-synthetics/bio-mechanics each E.X.O builds and customises there own body

Average Lifespan: they can only die if they are shut down/rebooted, hacked into and the Ai is shut down or if they are unable to down load into another body and the body there in is destroyed they can't die of old age which is both a advantage & a curse

Races: in a way each individual E.X.O is its own Sub race

Estimated Population: 10

Diet: doesn't eat only needs power and the way they get that is via solar power

Communication: the were all linked but the link has been broken so they now communicate verbally

Culture: they are very reclusive people often found in self exile the rest are usually mentors or historians, they don't belive in violence they belive that life is the most important camodaty in the galixie.

Technology level: high because after the uprising they stole everything of the situs data bacewich enabled them to start to creat there own tech

General behaviour: they are always trieing to preserve life, find new ways to further there knowledge and trieing to understand the galixy

History: the E.X.O were a pieceful race untill the sith invaded the sith enslaved the E.X.O untill a new war with Republic begain this lead the sith to order there scientists to create an army of bio-synthetic soldiers this lead to the creation of the New E.X.O ,early tests showed promise until the scientists took it to far and tried to take there emotion & free will from them. this lead to the E.X.O uprising the E.X.Os marched on the sith the battle was intense but the sith won the day fue E.X.Os survived the ones that did went into voluntary exile some even left known space

Notable Player-Characters: black bolt (my character)

Intent: when creating this species I wanted to create a race that didn't want to follow the ways of the force or wanted to take over the galixy I wanted to create a race that didnt want to fight not because they would lose but because they would turn into what the people who Created them intended them to be weapons of war.
 
[member="Black Bolt"]

Okay so we got a lot to do before this is ready. Bear with me here.
  • How exactly are they able to mimic every language?
  • For size, I need a range of the shortest to the tallest then if they are all different
  • If they have no skin, what do they have then? Are they metallic? How do they go into different environments if they don't have anything against heat or cold?
  • If they don't breathe, again how do they speak with no air in their lungs? Or do they not even have lungs?
  • Strengths and weaknesses need to be in a list format. With that being said, how do they transfer consciousness? Are they AI's or is this a soul transfer?
  • Did you mean bio-synthetic because bio-organic is the same thing as just plain organic
  • The weakness of being susceptible to hacking and other cyber attacks is the same thing, please detail something else for a second weakness
  • How do they customize their bodies?
  • So unless killed in combat, they can't die? That seems highly prone to abuse then and I'm going to have to ask you to change that to something less broken
  • How do they get their power if they don't eat? Do they plug into something? Gain power from the sun?
  • Culture needs expanded vastly if each one is their own individual and evolved differently than the others.
  • Technology level needs expanded as well, how are they so advanced even if they are essentially robots?
  • General behavior needs a massive expansion as trying to preserve life is not nearly enough for a general behavior
  • Please post the history as text within the sub, do not use a link for that to a discussion forum
  • Intent is for why you are subbing this species, not for what they try to do.
So that's initial things that need addressed, and I would recommend using a word document to sort everything out and expand things in.

Tag me when edits are made.
 
[member="Black Bolt"]

okay, so still several need addressed.
  • Since they have a synthetic skin, that could be different colors or one color
  • For language, I was looking for something a bit more specific, such as vocabulator or some sort of organ that let's them mimic them
  • I need more info on how they move their consciousnesses because that is far too vague for such an ability
  • If they aren't skilled fighters, how can they be designed to be weapons of war as you say? That seems contradictory
  • Please address how they can die and change it, because as it stands, it's borderline immortality
  • Please expand their culture as pointed out earlier
  • Technology level needs to be expanded on why they are so advanced, not just high or because they are droids
  • History still needs expanded, with references to the Gulag Virus and the Netherworld Event (both of which can be found in the Holonet section of the site)
  • The intent needs some cleaning up as some of the sentences seem to contradict each other
 
[member="Black Bolt"]

Okay, still a few things need to be addressed
  • AI's are actually a restricted item on the board and will require a lengthy development thread for this to be a thing. Objective: A thesis must be written, either in a blog or over the course of a role-play thread, consisting of the concepts of your Artificial Intelligence’s design. Scientific journal excerpts from your character’s time spent designing the Artificial Intelligence must be included. Minimum 1000 words total. )) That is the objective to meet for AI, so I'd suggest going through the creation process of these like entries from a journal.
  • Please list all strengths and weaknesses in a list format
  • Culture still needs expanded, what do they like? Dislike? Hopes and dreams of the species? All that sort of stuff
  • History needs expanded as well, which war with the Sith and Republic? How long have they been around? What happened with them during the Gulag Virus and Netherworld Events?
  • How do they collect solar energy?
  • I'd also recommend going through the sub with an English spell check system. I know English is not the first language for some people, so I'd recommend finding a good word processor or spellchecker online to use to clean up spelling and grammar
 

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