Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Species Dravala

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"If this is to end in fire, then we should all burn together."


Name: Dravala
Pronunciation: (Drah - vah- la)
Designation: Sentient
Homeworld: Solaris (Destroyed)
Language: Dravian
Average height of adults:
  • 8ft11 (Tallest)
  • 5ft11 (Shortest)


Skin Color: Dark Gray | Black | Brown | Blue | Purple | Red | White
Hair color: Varies
Breathes: Type I


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Strengths

  • Monstrous Strength: Being a species built and designed for war the Dravala are an extremely sturdy species capable of impressive physical feats. They have fought their entire lives and combat is as vital to them as food and water. The Dovah are blessed with very solid bones and extremely enveloped muscles to compensate for their heavier center of gravity. They display strength that appears to be a bit stronger than that of Wookies and are incredibly dense, capable of taking large amounts of damage and physical harm before beginning to crumble and show signs of exhaustion.

  • Heat Resistance: Dovah have unique cells in their bodies that grant them the ability to withstand extremely high temperatures, given their home planets close proximity with the sun it is an evolutionary trait that has given them a couple of interesting perks. One of which is complete and utter immunity to fire and their 'partial' resistance to electrical charges where are negated when coming into contact with their scales and slightly nullified when touching their skin.

  • Weaponized Tails: Different for each gender, the Dovah have special tails which can be used as weapons in their own way to compensate for their crippling weaknesses. The Male tails have mace-like spires at the end of their tails useful for things like bashing and smacking into most threats. However, as a result the males tails tend to be shorter and bulkier, sacrificing its prehensile mobility for blunt force. A females tail however is longer and more easily manipulated as a fifth limb, and rather than having a blunt weapon at its tipped they have sharpened bone spires useful for impaling those who dare venture to close. The scales on their tails, being heavily protected by thick scales have the sole ability to deflect energy attacks from Blasters and Lightsabers without taking damage.

  • Fire Breathing: A very circumstantial strength which is only ever active a certain percentage of the time, Dravala are capable of producing fire from their bellies given they have had a full meal within the last couple of hours. Food they digest is stored and converted into the source of this fire and once used, it cannot be used again until they have had another meal and digested it.



Weaknesses

  • Uneducated: While the Dravala have been known to be very wise and educated on their own planet, the fact of the matter is this species has never once left their home world and thus the knowledge of the galaxy and their technological advancements they have made tend to go right over their head. They do not know what Jedi are, what 'The Force' is, or anything of the matter. And after the fall of their planet and the genocide of their people the Dravala have been killed for their precious stones and/or enslaved as exotic creatures because of their special abilities. They do not know how to speak any other language but their own, they do not know how to fly ships (Or even what ships really are). Essentially, when it comes to the galaxy as you and i know, they are like children learning for the first time. And thus those who want to play this species would have the unfortunate time of trying to figure out how to get them up to speed. They are seriously behind on all things and fighting with a Dravala would likely result in their victory sense they don't know what blasters, Lightsabers, and ect are.

  • Sensitive Horns: While the horns themselves are rather sturdy and such, they do possess an extremely sensitive base where the skull meets. Rough yanks or pulls with great force can result in near crippling pain for them which is why some of the species simply decide to grind them down whenever they start to grow back. Though others are to prideful to remove their horns and thus suffer the consequences when they are exploited in combat.

  • Bad Senses: A Dravalas sense of smell, sight, and overall hearing is considered to be very below average. Their sight because of their infrared vision, only allowing them to see heat signatures rather than the specifics of their environment or their opponents. Their sense of smell is below average seeing as they use their tongue to mainly do that and that is just for picking up chemicals in the air around them to get a good idea of what certain things are. And their sense of hearing is slightly impaired. Using their horns as echo chambers so that they can focus their hearing through them which often results in rather negative results.

  • Limited Force Abilities: And by limited, i mean they only have access to two. Dravala are not knowledgeable in the ways of the force and their only main talent rest primarily in their ability to shape the elements and all things related to them. They cannot learn Telekinesis, Mind Trick, or any of the other popular force powers known to most Jedi or Sith. They are only able to enhance their physical bodies and manipulate the elements putting them at a disadvantage.

  • ​Infrared Vision: Another significant weakness of their species is the fact that because of their serpent-like nature the Dravala see the world in...a different way. Incapable of distinguishing colors, facial features and other things common beings can the Dravala see the world based on heat signatures. This is a weakness because if they come across cold blooded creatures or someone who is say...covered in mud. They will be almost entirely invisible to the them, that and the fact that because of this vision they would have a hard time reading, writing, and doing things humans do because of their inability to see the same things others do.

  • Cold Tempatures: Very simple, yet very effective. What heat and fire would feel like to a normal human like me and you, is what the cold and ice feels like to them. They cannot survive in cold climates and can easily be subdued by someone like an Ice Shaper or Snow Shaper. If they were put on a planet like Hoth they'd only be able to survive a few hours before flat out dying. If combating a Dravala, the most effective weapon one could have is a fire extinguisher. The cells in their body cannot withstand temperatures below a certain threshold and they get things like frostbite extremely easily (Almost as if they are being 'burned'). This limits their engagements and their ability to travel.

  • Gemstone: The crystals embedded in their chest are, basically like a major organ. If destroyed or damaged, a Dravala can be crippled or killed. While the stone itself is harder than most other materials, it has the same breaking method as diamond. You see, if Diamond is struck strategically then it can compromise its foundation, making crack, shatter, or just break apart. Should this happen, they 'will' die. Slowly and painfully, but these gems are rather small and not easily exposed when it combat. Threading the needle is key to striking the stone correctly and doing so will earn an opponent a swift victory.

  • Very Possessive: The Dravala are extremely possessive over anything they consider 'theirs' almost to the point of pure obsession. This can be as simple as a shiny coin or as complicated as a lover or someone they feel deep affection for. Because of this, they attach themselves and create bonds very easily and if that trust or relationship is betrayed they become prone to violent outburst. The myths and legends shared by them are not all false. The legend of the Queen who destroyed her kingdom because her son was stolen by a slave is no legend. Or the betrayed lover who tossed herself into a depths of the ocean. Or the young Prince who chained up his wife in fear she'd leave him. These are merely the extremes that have been proven as fact rather than fiction. But not all Dravala are prone to such extremities. This is a rather easy weakness that can be exploited if one were to figure out what a Dravala holds dear to them.

  • Wrathful: These things about the Dravala has always been known to be true. They are affectionate to their friends...reliable to their allies...merciful to the peasants...and ferocious to their enemies. They are vengeful creatures and demand blood for even the slightest misstep. With explosive tempers and even more volatile reactions to negativity, they do not take things well. Betrayal, insults, threats, and anything of the like have been known to start wars. In their culture, they are always respectful of themselves and others. Kind to those who are kind to them, and in the end believe in the principle of equivalency. An eye for an eye. Though in this case it would be more like an eye for a heart. In their culture, spouting disrespectful comments and slander is extremely offensive and acts of ill will are even more so.

  • Highly Emotional: The Dravala are not known for their poker faces or absence of attachment. They are passionate, they are emotional, and as a result they are incredibly unpredictable. It is very simple to anger or offend these creatures and because of it they are prone to very violent action over the simplest of things. This is a weakness on their part in the sense that they can be easily influenced or taken advantage of but in doing so the offender takes a very slippery risk. Play with fire and you may just get burned yes?


Distinctions:
  • Bright Reptilian Eyes
  • Reptilian Features (Prehensile Tongue, Tail, sometimes horns for some)
  • Obsession with Fire
  • Highly Aggressive
  • Gem Stone Embedded In Chest or Forehead
  • Odd Skin Tone & Scales


Average Lifespan: X 1-50 (Hatchling) 50-500 (Adolescents) 500-1000 (Adult) 1000+ (Elder)
Races: N/A
Estimated Population: Around 1200 of them left
Diet:

  • Meat: (Primary Consumption)
  • Fruits & Vegetables: (Helps Digestive Track)
  • Starch: (Damages Digestive Track)
  • Sugary Foods: (Causes Nausea and other sicknesses)



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Biology: There are a number of rather odd bodily variations that The Dravala have gained over their lengthy existence. Hailing from the great Dravala whom they worship as their goddess they have gained a number of mutations from their ancestors that have remained the same for hundreds and thousands of years. The most obvious mutation that a large majority of the species possesses is a pair of horns which sprout from the head. These horns can appear in a large number of shapes, sizes, and densities. They are solid bone and can indeed be removed by relatively simple means although they do grow back.

These horns are one of the first things others notice about them upon coming into contact with a Dravala. However while all Dravala have horns, not all have scales, a tail, or even slitted eyes, often being born with different variations. Though very few have all of these mutations at once and are considered very rare indeed considering most only ever have one or two of these features. Holding a generally human-like shape the only mutations they display such as elongated tails, prehensile tongues, and slitted eyes. Their flesh also sometimes has scale-like blemishes along the eyes, cheeks, and the undersides of their arms thighs and ect. Males tend to have thicker and scalier skin than females and often look far more reptilian than semi-human. They also have Infrared vision which impairs their ability to lead normal lives as a common human when their entire visual nature is based on heat signatures. They often use their serpent-like forked tongue to pick up chemicals around them, basically like a second nose designed to detect abnormalities around them such as knowing when water is near. They have notoriously bad senses when it comes to sight and scent, and their hearing is their only 'sense' which is rather average and that is only for the few Dravala who keep their horns which act as echo chambers.

A Dravala born without such oddities is considered a bad omen and is thought to happen when a child is not given blessing from The Matriarch or their goddess. And while it has happened once or twice, especially when cross breeding occurs. It is considered extremely rare and is often just a scary story told to hatchlings.

On another note, one of the most interesting developments of The Dravala is their natural ability to breathe fire in either of their forms. While one might think that requires connection to the force, they would be wrong. As far fetched as it may sound for a creature to spew napalm from its belly its actually rather simple. But first things first, a Dravala needs fuel. Interestingly enough, every creature is making that fuel right now. Humans included. Every time a human eats some food microbes in their belly are digesting that food and turning it into methane gas (CH4). Which may be impolite, but is highly flammable in the right concentrations.

The Dravala have evolved to develop a specialized air sac in their bodies that can store and pressurize this methane gas from the food they ate and then to release this gas like gas from a Lighter. And then, the final step is merely a spark. This step is done in a very simple way. But spewing the gas from the air sac all the way up their throat so quickly that static ignition occurs, igniting the gas directly from the air sac and expelling it from the mouth and into a fast jet stream of fire that can be blasted twenty feet in length. However, this can only be used once and once used the air sac becomes emptied upon use. It takes at least four whole meals to refuel the sac with a suitable amount of gas to use, and thus this 'fire breathing' is used as a defense mechanism or surprise attack for unsuspecting enemies.

Dravala also have developed a unique cell in their bodies which allows their flesh to resist high temperatures of heat, effectively making them completely fireproof. Their scales are able to take complete blaster bolts with little more than scuff marks on them, however, weapons such as lightsabers can damage them if the heated blade is held onto their scales for extended time. Allowing the blade to slowly melt its way through the scales and into their much less fire resistant insides. Electricity is also known for having a very low effect on them as well.

Another thing to note about the Dravala is the rather odd gem that seems to grow naturally within their bodies. These stones are about the size of rubies or small pearls depending on their location, most commonly appearing in the center of the forehead or in the center of the chest. Usually a little higher just nestled between the breast of females. The last trait that Dravala have developed is by the few who have tails. These prehensile limbs are weaponized differently by Gender, Males have a thick hammer or mace like tip which can be used for bashing or slamming into threats while females have tails which are longer, more responsive and have bladed tips that can be used for impaling foes.


Communication: The Dravala communicate through their own language and are incapable of speaking any other. Because of this they are severely limited when attempting to communicate with any outside species.



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Culture: The Dravala is a species built on self-discipline, dominance, submission, courage and strength. They have a fierce sense of honor and find it dishonorable to curse their gods or run from battle. They believe it is better to die in the heart of war than to run away as a coward. The higher ranks of the species consider themselves superiors to the lower ranks, and the Sohei look down upon the Bondless. They have very little patience when dealing with one another and are often mean in a subtle sense, but usually lack the insanity that would make a person unstable and useless in the heat of battle. They aren't bloodthirsty or "evil," though most see them as such.

Dravala are also a people that treasures family worth. The family is what builds the social status and the stronger the family, the higher up on the social ladder a Dravala is able to climb. To one another, they are beasts of respect and disrespect, and to disrespect a member is to challenge their honor, almost always resulting in a battle within the bottom of The Pitts. High-class Dravala adopt younger members of either gender and call them little brothers or sisters. These "younger siblings" learn from their bonds and depend upon them for help learning the ways of battle or rank. While underneath the care of a bond, the "little brother/sister" must never call the older Dravala without the title of Brother or Sister; to do otherwise is disrespectful and one could be punished because of it. Sometimes a "little brother/sister" is assigned to a higher-up, but usually the higher-up picks them. They must be fresh of blood and strong.

If a high-ranked beast finds a Dravala a they wish to make their "little brother/sister," or even their mate, then the youth cannot refuse, especially if they are of lesser rank. If a refusal takes place, the superior is required to dominate the youth through battle. It's always best for a Bondless Dravala to quickly find a Bond; a Bond can protect them from some really nasty individuals. Should a Bonded Dravala disrespect another ranked Dravala or disgraces themselves somehow, then the Dravala they are bonded to has to take responsibility.

Dravala'kin also worship fire and everything it represents. It is said that their ancestors created the first flame and from that very fire the Dravala were born, this goes in hand with their natural affinity with the element.

Mating within the species is not restricted for the uppermost ranks; however, they are not allowed to have eggs unless they ask permission from the Matriarch, and sometimes permission will not be granted if the Dravala in question is too weak. When taking a mate, a member usually chooses someone younger, but of age, to breed with. Dravala believe that the youth of the land are easier to mold and hold a hidden strength that can be passed onto the children if tapped into early enough. A seasoned warrior and a young, healthy female with good genes from her father can produce an amazing child. Also, high-ranked Dravala can have more than one mate; they are not restricted by numbers -- the higher on the social chain the Dravala is, the more mates they can have at one time, so long as they respect them and do not abuse the privilege.

One thing to note however is that females of the species dominate without a question. Ruled by three matriarchs they are what represents the entire species and are often the finest warriors of the species. Females however do have explosive tempers and are known to strike fear into most of their male counterparts. It is considered extremely brave and also highly fortunate for a male to land a relationship with an aggressive female.

Female Dravala are also almost constantly sexually active and are known to be the ones holding several mates for their own benefits. To them, sex is as fun as war and they often partake it in as often as they can given their rather bottomless 'desires'. They also have a tendency to brand or mark what they consider 'theirs', lovers as well.

The Dravala are also extremely protective of their offspring especially the females who when in labor would lock themselves away in an undisclosed location for almost years at a time until they felt comfortable with their offsprings age and performance. Only the father and key caretakers would be aware of the location of the mother and their children.


Technology level: The Dravala do not believe in technology, in their conception the other beings of their world who relied on such things were considered by them to be evil. The Dravala, when they evolved from their original forms did however take up architecture and art, but never did they invent weapons or machines. They were warlords who used their physical prowess and fire to conquer their enemies.


General behavior: Dravala are highly passionate, emotional, and very aggressive people. They value power and dominance, but they do not tolerate disrespect or rudeness. They are very simple and are often very easy to please so long as one is cautious for one wrong move or statement can result in a wildfire. They tend to enjoy war and battle and can be prone to causing trouble in almost any kind of modern environment because of it.






History:

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'There were born three Drava of High-Blood, beast that represented what a Dovah should ultimately be:
A beast of courage, of witty intelligence, and a master of particular arts.
Yet even so, despite these qualities they must still maintain their roots:
Their feral attitude, their instinct, and their physical prowess.'
- Book of The Eternal Flame | The 1st Understanding



With these values in mind the Drava sought to create a world, one for creatures like themselves, for beasts that could take what the world would give them and wear the robes of intelligence without shedding their dragonic nature and twisting into something more befitting for humanity, for weaklings. They would become a free people, living off the lands under the sky without hiding in shelters or seeking the protection the spineless two-legged animals falsely provided. For years they traversed the planet, searching for a paradise, and while they traveled they saw with unhindered vision the terror wrought to nature by lesser beings, and other beasts that disrespected the nature surrounding them and the gifts that the Heavens above them had blessed them with. They saw creatures tethered like pets, working under the lash of false authority with a disgustingly embarrassing submission and deemed them dogs. They saw engineers, with their tools, cheat and abandon the thrill of a hard-working hunt to kill prey and deemed them abominations.

Then they saw these things, and deemed it evil.

Though they did not flee from these terrors, they avoided them, refusing to come in contact with corruption and poison the mind and body. Along the way they preached, speaking claims of salvation from the evils that pressed in around the common good and gathered disciplines, Drava of like mind and strong body. For ages it seemed like they traveled, expanding their numbers through means of conversion, through preaching the good word despite the troubles they experienced.

These troubles were brought forth by "heathens," creatures that denied their heritage, nay; their very existence and turned their back on Drava kind by forsaking the words of the Original Three and the offerings of nature. These kinds endangered all that was good and right, and while some were kept in their numbers in hopes that they would change their mind, blessed by the mercy and the kindness of the High-Ones, others forsook this kindness and spat upon it. These people took the name of heathens, spreading blasphemy about what some call the True Nature, the instinct and wildness and divinity of the Drava.

They grew jealous over their power...their gifts and their way of life. Not after long the species became hunted for their exotic scales and pearls, things the gods themselves had blessed them with. And so long as these two legged creatures lived, the Drava would forever be endangered, forever exposed to the harshness of modern beings and risk the anger of nature, and nature expressed her want for their blood, in exchange for the blood of the Drava they would spoil and corrupt and the spawn that they bred that would only become spreaders of evil. To appease nature and beseech her good will, these heathens were captured and brought to the highest hills on the plains they were traversing. The Original Three lifted their heads and spoke to nature, asking whether or not they should be spared and if they should try one more time to convert. Yet nature responded by sending a great storm, which the Original Three knew as the answer. Nature only had patience to grant heathens one chance and only one chance at realizing the light, but she would not risk or tolerate them ruining Dravala, her favorite creature. The evil was destroyed, throats torn and ripped from screeching bodies, and the blood that was split pleased nature, which was shown in great flashes of light and the loud thunderous roar of her joy, the thunder.

It was during this time, as the last heathen was silenced, that the people were shown, by natures light, the land of Sol, the Kingdom where they would reign forever and ever.

While there they began to teach the Dravala to combat the evil that roamed outside their protective forest. The Original Three implanted a society, an "Order of Fire," the way things were done and would always be done. Those who were more dominant were given reign of the submissive. They were tasked with the duty to gather the youth and those with purpose and yolk them to them, force them to learn what they had learned and experienced, to strength them physically and spiritually. They were given Houses, certain permissions and graces along with these responsibilities to teach those they were linked to how to be true Dravala. Hatred was embraced and taught, aggression and violence encouraged to keep them on their toes. One must hate before they can love. They were taught to dominate and beat whenever wherever; cuffing younger or more submissive Dravala or their equals to teach them this hate and grow closer so that they could love one another through this link, know one another intimately and expressively by face, scent, smell, fighting style. They named these actions, giving them meaning, calling them 'Anytime-Anywhere', and despite the fact that they would expressively fight or humble one another seemingly without reason they would be doing what was needed, fueling and strengthening their emotions, their aggression, for those whom truly deserved it, and would never maim or impair the other.

Yet, not only did the Original Three teach them to hate, but they also taught them to be affectionate, to show their emotion, to be happy and joyous in the lands and to spread this happiness or joy with their fellow brothers and sisters, to touch, to scent, to bond, so that all their people could become one and thoughts could be united. When a child was born there were no thoughts of Mother or Father, every Dravala would be Mother and Father, every child a Sister or Brother, their children would be raised by the common good, not the single wealth, and have these ideals strengthened through their House bonds.

But most importantly, they taught their young to hate the enemy as well, to hate them, to hate to love them, and to love to hate them. They taught that all things outside the scolding mountain walls were evil and could change them, make them lesser than what they were and corrupt their way of comfortable living. With each breath, they must fight that change, the corruption and temptation offered by those outside walls, and instead they must remain on their land, training in the arts of warfare, complicated and simple, each and every one of them from the pacifist to the soldier. They were a united people, but more than that they were "The People of War". Every waking moment must be done bettering oneself for the ultimate battle, The Ragnarok. Engaging in affection, in touch, between both sexes and all ages, between all people, would unit all minds and bodies. Engaging in acts of Anytime-Anywhere would humble those who felt became to mighty or make others learn to accept pain as another form of affection, for such acts were for the betterment of another and never done out of anger, but love and hatred tied hand in hand. Now that the people were of one mind, one soul, one body, the Original Three blessed them with "art."

Art being the technicalities of war, things needed to survive and conquer.

First came the oldest of the three, the most thoughtful and observant, who the free people called Julius, and whose eyes burned red like the setting sun. To them he departed knowledge and the ability to remain calm in a seemingly hopeless situation. He gave them the aptitude to understand the mind, how to talk and save those who needed salvation, and how to see through lies. He gave them the skill to plan ahead, to look at the numbers of the enemies and to not rush head first into battle only to be slaughtered in vain.

Second came the second oldest of the three, a mystery that most Dravala couldn't follow, the one that had been dubbed the trickster, who the free people called Loki, and was blind and yet could see with eyes entirely white. He taught them how to be silent, how to whisper and be unseen. He taught them how to work in teams of two when the time called for it and how to take past experiences, remember them, and apply them as wisdom, to be pulled up and thought back on to help solve the trickiest of puzzles. He taught them how to ignore the pleas and apologizes of heathens that only wanted to save themselves to indulge in the evil pleasures of the outside world and show no mercy.

Then, lastly, came the youngest of the three, and loudest, the one they called Hati, with bright shining eyes of energetic yellow. He was a bit of an oddity, and the people wondered what he would be able to teach them. He was an odd thinker, so couldn't impart knowledge like Julius and he knew very little of stealth, so being silent wasn't something he could easily educate about. So instead, he taught them a language, the language of war. He taught the Dravala an art that called The Way of War. He taught them how to not speak with words, but with growls and snarls when on the battlefield. He taught them what each short clipped bark meant and how to interpret an action by the way a person bobbed their head or blinked an eye. How the simple motion of a claw could give an entire plan of battle to another in a much faster way that words ever could. Yet more than that, he taught them how to fight, how to use their bodies, their claws, without the help of nature's poisonous herbs or silence. He taught them how to overwhelm with numbers, how to observe the enemy and his habits and see them as evil and to keep them close to his heart (to hate them) so that he could use their own battle styles against them. He taught them how to twist hate into love and how to die, not begging for your life, but with honor.

But most of all, he taught the Dravala that if they were going to hell, to take the enemy with them and rule over them when they got there.

For years these arts were taught to the Dravala, and when the Original Three died, they had appointed, beforehand, apprentices, in whom they claimed their spirit would forever live to guide them to that promised day when all would become united as free people and not shackled by the evils of the outside world. They became Gods in this right, forever living through the next Dravala and the next, imparting their guidance and knowledge. As each year passed more knowledge was gathered and more was added and taught beside the original arts, and these continued to strengthen the people... until the heathens sent, in retaliation, their own trial to test the Kingdom.


Notable Player-Characters: Queen Shayvana

Intent: To design a more unique and mysterious species in the galaxy aside from the common norm that others can enjoy and play with.
 
Hello, I'll be the Codex Judge reviewing your submission. If you have questions, please feel free to respond to this thread once we are underway.

I will require a dev thread for a warrior culture species where everyone possesses formidable fighting skills. Their exceptional physical strengths also qualifies them for this, so be prepared for that.

Before we jump into culture, history, general behaviour and the rest of those categories, we need to address this species' strengths. As it stands now I find it to be incredibly unbalanced, and in some ways misleading as several great strengths are not listed under "Strengths", but instead appear scattered throughout the submission. These will need to be limited and offset by appropriate weaknesses, which currently is not the case.

The Drava's strengths are as I understand them:
  • Fire manipulation and resistance
  • Electricity manipulation and resistance
  • Monstrous strength
  • Solid bones for defensive purposes
  • Cells in their body that offers…

    Blaster immunity
  • Lightsaber resistance

[*]Shapeshifting into dragon-like beings
These are all significantly potent physical strengths (we can refer to these as “hard strengths”, as opposed to “soft strengths”). While you’ve included several weaknesses, I would only consider two of them to be “hard weaknesses”; Cold Temperatures and Gemstones, with the former being situational. The others are great for explaining the way the species operates and their potentially compromising personality flaws, however I do not feel they offset the Drava’s strengths in a significant enough way.

Pick your two favourites and stick with them. Shapeshifting into dragons is denied on concept as they fall under the category of banned species. Please note that we'll continue to work on scaling these strengths to appropriate levels afterwards. I will not put a submission forward for approval that bypasses the apprentice-knight-master learning curve by coming out of the gate with already awesome powers.

Thanks

[member="Scheherazade Roshanara"]
 
[member="Darth Pyrrhus"]

Alright, i did some editing to the strengths department, and also added two more weaknesses. I intend to add more but i just want to get some clarification on a few things.

First, on the topic of their weaknesses not balancing with their strengths, i'd have to disagree. At least a bit, i could just be dead wrong and not seeing the point but i feel as if the 'Hard Weaknesses' they have are less than hard, they are fatal. I imagine a hard weakness being that maybe a species is really smart...but very physically weak, things like that. And that is all fine and good but the Drava weaknesses are kind of a bit more extreme than lacking some muscle mass. While they can control fire and are physically imposing they die really, REALLY easily. Like, easier than probably any other creature on the board. You can effectively get a fire extinguisher and kill one with that alone. Or hell, just get to a thermostat and lower the temperature, that'll knock one out real quick. And thats just one way, what is someone specializes in weather control or ice manipulation? These things have an 95% chance to spell out instant death for the species. The Gemstone is more of a target than anything else because of its very obvious positioning. Hit it with something and it will become damaged, either resulting in their death or near death. Their personality weaknesses make them really hard headed and pretty much ensures that they would never run away from these things that can kill them because...well they are hard headed.

As for the newly tacked on weaknesses, extremely limited use of The Force is a slap in the face by itself because they can't rely on other means of offense or defense aside from their fire...which can very easily be nullified. The other being their Infrared Vision which just sucks all around and practically handicaps them in any kind of engagement. They see heat signatures, and thus are incapable of seeing a 'lot' of things that impairs their ability to survive, especially in a galaxy as vast and as complicated as this one.

But like i said, i will be adding more weaknesses if you really strongly feel the current ones are not suitable despite their massive handicaps. My second concerned lies within the shapeshifting.


While i fully get that Dragons are banned on here and uh...this species obviously draws parallels. My main concern is...when looking on the wiki i have a very hard time discerning what is a dragon and what isn't a dragon. In my mind, a Dragon is like...four legs, wings, and is pretty much the western 'Skyrim' type dragons. But on the wiki it looks like basically any kind of reptile is considered a dragon no matter how they look for function, making it hard for me to distinguish what is acceptable to shift into and what is not. See, Dovah are not really even 'dragons' in the classical sense. Their just very big snakes...literally snakes, not even lizards. They slither around and have elongated bodies. And since they have that i have a hard time comparing them to...Rancors. Which are apparently also 'dragons'. I mean c'mon does this really look comparable to this?. Don't get me wrong, if there is something i missed then i'll remove it but i just am having a hard time telling what is really considered a 'dragon' in the SW Universe given the inconsistencies in lore.
 
[member="Scheherazade Roshanara"]

I’m happy to clarify my position before we move on.

A “hard weakness” does not have to be fatal. I’m not saying the other weaknesses are bad per say, they are just not comparable with the strengths. You could take any one of those abilities and bam you have a new superhero for Marvel.

With the weakest of them being able to effortlessly lift 600 pounds and outperform the most talented pyromancers around fire manipulation, I hope you can see my concerns for the species’ balance. With talents like that I’ll need to see more than “won’t back down from a fight”, as most wouldn’t be able to stand a chance in that fight anyway, unless they’re lucky with their specialization. I know none of my alts carry a fire extinguisher with them. Add to that wearing 600 pound armour, on top of natural lightsaber resistance and having blaster immunity, I’m going to have to strongly disagree with you on the claim that they can be killed easier than any other species on the board.

The parallels here to the dragons are strong. Fire-breathing abilities aside, when I retrace the image used for their Dovah form it literally comes up as “Chinese dragon” in the search bar. Even the name Dovah ties it to dragons. I feel comfortable drawing the comparison. My judgement on this stands.

Now let's move on to how to proceed with this submission! Since the species does not focus on one great strength but have several, I want to see them toned down.

Scheherazade Roshanara said:
It should also be mentioned that The Drava have a similar relationship with electricity, which is a form of ionization and energy which generates extreme heat.
How similar? I only see their resistance for electricity mentioned after this. Can you confirm whether that’s the extent of their abilities with this, or do you mean that they can manipulate and create it as they do fire?



Scheherazade Roshanara said:
Are impossible to extinguish.
Change the language here. It contradicts what you suggest by saying the most effective weapon against them is a fire extinguisher.



Scheherazade Roshanara said:
Easily able to outperform even the most talented and proficient Fire Shapers and Pyromancers around.
I am not comfortable with how nonchalantly this dismisses the hard work and effort put in by other writers who have chosen to focus on this area. Please tone it down.



Scheherazade Roshanara said:
The weakest and youngest of their species capable of lifting six hundred pounds without much exertion. Which is how much a full suit of armor commonly weights for their kind. A full grown adult with years of training is capable of exerting eight hundred to nine hundred pounds of pressure.
Convert the numbers here to metric, please. I don’t have a problem with them being strong, it’s just that they’re really strong. My acceptance of their strength comes with the understanding that they won’t rely on weapons or technology, but rather fire and their fists. Still, I would like you to tone down the average strength a bit (feel free to use X times Human strength” as a basic estimate).



Scheherazade Roshanara said:
They are also able to resist superheated plasma such as blaster bolts and lightsabres because of this trait, effectively allowing them to use Fire Shaping without burning themselves.
Am I right in understanding that you're talking about blaster and lightsaber resistance and not complete immunity?

With the new weaknesses you added and these edits I feel we'll have come much closer to finding balance!

Finally, I would like to see a suitable image source presented for every image used in this submission. You may put these down in one area for convenience and easy access.

Thanks
 
[member="Darth Pyrrhus"]

Alright i edited the things. And added a couple more weaknesses and one more 'strength' if it can even be called that. Just something to counter balance the fact they can't really see, hear, or smell anything to well and they need some way to navigate.


As for the shape shifting thing, i guess i can try to make it something else. It was meant to draw parallels to Chinese Dragons in real life in the sense that they are giant snakes. What i was asking is what makes a dragon a dragon in the SW universe because it was unclear. Basically based on what you said if i were to just not call them Dovah and call them...i dunno a Fish and removed their ability to breathe fire they would no longer be considered a dragon to you? I dunno, SW lore confuses me lol. On another note, would it be better if a compromised with something else? Like rather than completely shapeshift into a beast how about they can adopt additional features of a dragon? Such as shifting their arm into a dragons arm or gaining wings and such. For example like this. Or just have them turn into something else altogether.


I am also retracing sources now.
 
[member="Scheherazade Roshanara"]

I am just stepping in here to make some things clear.

This is a very nicely written sub and it is evident that a lot of thought went into it. However, as it currently stands this submission needs a large amount of work to fit into the SW setting and to take this from an excessively overpowered race to something that won't stand as a game-breaker on the forum.

I see you have been working with Pyrrhus but I am sensing resistance to the things he is asking. He knows what needs to happen with this submission to make it passable and is doing his best to help you craft something that will make both parties happy at the end of the day. Please be aware that if you are unwilling to make the edits requested, this submission will be denied.

Any questions or concerns about this can be relayed to me through a PM.

Carry on.
 
[member="Cinder Rose"]

We're making progress, and I believe we'll get somewhere in the end. However, I believe we're at a point where stacking on weaknesses won't take away from the fact that some of these strengths are extreme. When you see strengths of this magnitude you expect to have them be the focus of the species, but here there are too many. Something will have to be dropped. I'm also concerned with having it fit within this universe, as I find that in its present state it appears closer to the fantasy genre than Star Wars.

On the topic of shapeshifting: There are species in the SW universe who can shapeshift, such as the Shi'ido and Clawdites. You'll notice however that this is their entire specialisation summed up. Here's the compromise I'm willing to make: If you wish to keep shapeshifting, drop two major strengths. If not, shapeshifting will have to be dropped completely.

Cinder Rose said:
And with enough time, their skill cannot be matched.
Subjective. It's their talent, it's their focus, sure, but I won't accept an instant-win against others. Drop this line.

Cinder Rose said:
The weakest and youngest of their species capable of hundreds of times their own weight without much exertion.
Cinder Rose said:
their power is beyond that of any human and stands equal to that of a Wookie
These examples don't add up to me. A Wookie would be at double strength to that of a Human, triple at most. Change the first quote to reflect that to remove any confusion.

Cinder Rose said:
. One of which is complete and utter immunity to fire and electricity
Under 'Masters of Fire' you referred to it as resistance, here it is immunity. I'm fine with fire immunity, but drop the electricity from immunity to resistance.

Cinder Rose said:
They are also able to resist superheated plasma such as blaster bolts and lightsabres because of this trait, effectively allowing them to use Fire Shaping without burning themselves. This trait gives them very high resistance to Lightsabers and complete immunity from bolts.
Combined with the offensive powers of this species, having these defensive capabilities become too much. I want you to remove lightsaber resistance completely and tone down blaster immunity to moderate blaster resistance at the highest.

Cinder Rose said:
Seismic Sense:
Well this is new! Honestly, I feel the last thing this species needs are new strengths. Feel free to keep this, but then something else has to go. Remove or severely tone down. While their senses are below average, the infrared vision could also easily be considered a strength.

Request for image sources still stands.

Thanks
 
[member="Cinder Rose"]

Okay, taking the entirety of this from the top down in one go. Sorry for the length.

Dovah'kin is the name of the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim "Dragonborn". Considering the topic at hand in this submission I would like this changed for something else.


Cinder Rose said:
Homeworld: Sol (Destroyed)

This is the same name as our solar system where Earth is IRL, I need this changed.

Also, the image between what air it breathes and your strengths is a broken link, not sure if that's what you wanted :D

As for strengths and weaknesses, these are the ones you have listed. I will take the unlisted ones and my take on them at the bottom.

Strengths:
--Physical: Very, VERY, Strong
--Physical: Immune to Heat and Electricity

Weakness:
--Circumstancial: Uneducated
--Physical: Sensitive Horns
--Physical: Bad senses
--Physical: Infrared Vision
--Circumstancial: Limited Force Abilities -
--Physical/Circumstancial: Cold Temperatures
--Physical: Gemstone
--Personality: Possessive
--Personality: Wrathful
--Personality: Emotional


Cinder Rose said:
These horns do however have a chance of not appearing on most, seeing as they all have variations in what they inherit from their ancestors.

Then this is not really a weakness since a writer can just say they don't have the horns.


Cinder Rose said:
'Seismic Sense' allowing them to see using the earth as a medium. Allowing them to feel vibrations in the earth and effectively tell what was happening around them even if they could not really see it.

This should be listed in strengths.


Cinder Rose said:
natural ability to breathe fire in either of their forms

This too.


Cinder Rose said:
Dovah also have developed a unique cell in their bodies which allows their flesh to resist high temperatures of heat, effectively making them completely fireproof. Their scales are able to take complete blaster bolts with little more than scuff marks on them, however, weapons such as lightsabers can damage them if the heated blade is held onto their scales for extended time.

This is really powerful and should be explained in the strengths. That said, it feels like it's almost too much.


Cinder Rose said:
These prehensile limbs are weaponized differently by Gender, Males have a thick hammer or mace like tip which can be used for bashing or slamming into threats while females have tails which are longer, more responsive and have bladed tips that can be used for impaling foes.

This should also be listed in the strengths.




After having read through this submission I have to say that there are some serious balance issues that needs to be addressed and I will adress them in an updated weakness/strengths list.

Strengths:
-- Super Strength
-- Immunity to Fire and Electricity
-- Seismic Sense
-- Can Breathe Fire
-- Tails can be used as weapons

Weaknesses:
-- Sensitive Front
-- Uneducated
-- Sensitive Horns
-- Bad senses
-- Infrared Vision
-- Limited Force Abilities
-- Cold Temperatures - I really liked this one.
-- Gemstone

So to start off with my main issue here, the Dovah are very powerful, which is almost an understatement. I can see that you have been very excited in the creation of your submission, but I feel like you lost touch with proportions somewhere down the line.

Twice as strong as a wookie is way powerful, and when mixed with an ability to shrug off blasters and to a degree lightsabers you already have a species that can both deliver a beating and take it. They have these features on its scales, and said scales are also immune to fire and are highly resistant to electricity. To this degree, the exposed front being a weakness is not really a weakness that would balance out said strength.

To be able to sense movement by your feet in seismic senses is powerful.

Breathing fire, I'll buy it.

Tails being able to be used as weapons was something I simply wished to see listed on the list of strengths.

As for weaknesses...

Being Uneducated as a species is circumstancial at best.

Sensitive Horns came across as a weakness at first, but once explained in the Biology section that this wasn't something that applied to all Dovah then I don't see how this is a weakness at all anymore. I would recommend applying this weakness to all members of the species, give them all the horns, or come up with a new weakness on top of this one.

Bad Senses + Infrared Vision, I can buy it, but only seeing infrared is not really a weakness since there are other species who rely on it too.

When you're twice as strong as a wookie, a lack of force abilitites doesn't really come across as a weakness.

I love the cold temperature weakness, it's really great. :D

I think the Gemstone weakness has potential if it was made lethal in the sense that they die without it. As it is right now it's somewhere in between and I'd rather see it turned into a hard weakness for the species.

Overall it's a solid and well thought out submission, but I want you to do is to change the Homeworld's name, Change the species name, and to re-evaluate your stance on your two strongest strengths which is the Super Strength and the Immunities. They are the main cause for this submission as a whole being rather overpowered in its current state.
 
[member="Kaili Talith"]

Made most the edits aside from the name thing. I'm going to have to go through the whole submission to change 'Dovah' so that is gonna take a minute. Furthermore, i just wanted to ask a few things regarding the two strengths and weaknesses you mentioned. While i agree being immensely strong and capable of deflecting a bit of blaster fire is rather out there only their scales can resist energy. Their skin is just fire proof but if they get shot from the front they are fair game. That and the fact their scales only cover a small percentage of their backs and such means that they don't even have full protection. That and the fact that their scales and skin won't save them from normal knifes or even more so 'slugs'. It honestly just means the average stormtrooper is gonna have a harder time killing one and thats if they are shooting directly into their spine lol. So i would not say they can just naturally 'shrug' off blaster fire, they just have a slightly easier time not getting one shotted which is a fair payoff considering they built for close quarters combat...with their bare hands or like a hammer. So its not like they can effectively dodge or do backflips away from a firing squad. Plus the species has quite a few insta-death weaknesses such as the gem, cold temperatures, and they inability to 'see' what is happening in their environment. If you throw a grenade at one of them what are the odds of them 'seeing' that? lol.

So yeah, just wanted to clarify that. I'll still edit it if need be but i'm not sure how to tone down their immunity without getting them killed easier than they already can be. Do you have any suggestions for additional weaknesses or anything?

I also removed seismic sense, i meant to get rid of that xD. And added the hard weaknesses regarding the gemstones and the horns.
 
[member="Cinder Rose"]

This isn't really a debate.

It is not a fair trade off because even if it's just their spine, the fact of the matter is that they still have immunity as if they had a built in exoskeleton to protect them. Knives and slugs or not, blasters and lightsabers is still one half of the utilized battlefield weaponry and it does grant them an advantage on the field besides the super strength. With that said, I still want to see one or two resistances dropped. However,



Cinder Rose said:
Heat Resistance: Dovah have unique cells in their bodies that grant them the ability to withstand extremely high temperatures, given their home planets close proximity with the sun it is an evolutionary trait that has given them a couple of interesting perks. One of which is complete and utter immunity to fire and electricity, the two elements having no visible effect on their bodies. They also have semi energy resistance thanks to one of their reptilian traits. That being their scales which develop along their spines, forearms, shoulders, and the exposed parts of their legs. Leaving their fronts exposed and incapable of resisting blaster fire and lightsabers.

This says it covers their arms and legs as well as their spine which ultimately is a strength that grants them extreme power on the field. This quote also mentions a complete and utter immunity to fire and electricity as well as aversion to blasters and lightsabers. That is not balanced and I expect you to re-evaluate this approach.

A good way to balance this would be for example to say they simply have a thicker skin and can therefore take more blaster damage, but it is not able to prevent lightsaber damage. That is one example, but I am sure you can come up with one of your own as well. Ideally find a way to drop both of them since fire and electricity in itself is already rather powerful in itself considering where the scales are.

As for weaknesses, cold temperatures and the gemstone is what I would count as the only deadly weaknesses since the others can easily be nullfied by tech, even if it's not something a regular Dovah/Drava would use. In general, a good rule of thumb is to consider how other writers beside yourself might use this species and how you would feel if you were faced with this species in a PvP scenario.

As it stands right now, you already know the edits I want made and I still expect them. :)
 
[member="Cinder Rose"]


Cinder Rose said:
Monstrous Strength: Being a species built and designed for war the Dravala are an extremely sturdy species capable of impressive physical feats. They have fought their entire lives and combat is as vital to them as food and water. The Dovah are blessed with very solid bones and extremely enveloped muscles to compensate for their heavier center of gravity. They are two times stronger than Wookies and are incredibly dense, capable of taking large amounts of damage and physical harm before beginning to crumble and show signs of exhaustion.

Since I have noticed that you are going hardcore for the strength, I am going to suggest that rather than having them be twice the strength of a Wookie you could ideally have the Dravala be similar in strength to the Wookies, being perhaps a bit more stronger since wookies in themselves are pretty strong.


Cinder Rose said:
One of which is complete and utter immunity to fire and electricity, the two elements having no visible effect on their bodies.

You said their scales though. This says their entire body. Perhaps limit the electrical one to its scales while fire is their entire body? I'd be alright with that.


Cinder Rose said:
The scales on their tails, being heavily protected by thick scales have the sole ability to deflect energy attacks from Blasters and Lightsabers without taking damage.

I'm actually okay with this, I approve of this trade-off with the energy resistance.

Going over the weakness list I am okay with what I see, I like the clarifications added on Infrared Vision to explain why it was a downside.


Cinder Rose said:
Using their owns as echo chambers so that they can focus their hearing through them which often results in rather negative results.

Nothing too serious, I think you typo'd horns as "owns" and it should be clarified for the sake of not having people misunderstand what is meant here. :)

Other than that I am starting to see this as something that I can go ahead and approve! Once these edits are made I will go through it one more time to make sure I haven't missed anything. :lol:
 
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