Private Disciplinary Action

[Kranak Vizsla]

M I S C O N D U C T

Location: Kestri, The Kom’rk, The Iron Barracks, Barrack Number 104
Local Time: 14:20
Date: -DATA CORRUPTED-
Primary Objective: Process the Results of Bounty Mission
Secondary Objective: N/A
Equipment: Loadout 1 (Right Vambrace’s retractable Fusion Cutter swapped with Paralyzing Darts)
Tag: Shai Maji

(Several hours after the events of Hunt for Darth Maliphant)

Heavy footfalls echoed in the well lit, empty hallways leading to the Iron Barracks within The Kom’rk. About ninety percent of the Mandalorians that had volunteered to become a part of the Si’kahya had been disqualified during the tryout process long ago. Only a handful of squads had remained that earned the right to call themselves a Si’kahya through passing the arduous trials the tryout had posed on them.

The giant’s long black kama fluttered in sync with his limping as he made his way to his squad’s barracks with the Shistavanen vod at his rear, not too far away from him. His head bowed as he continued to ponder about the results of the mission. They left the MedBay about forty minutes ago. The giant had admitted Eliz Krayt to the medical wing for further treatment for the young lad’s severed left arm. After making sure Eliz was getting his treatment, time had come for mission debrief. He listened to the debrief with half an ear. His mind was shut off to external stimuli at the time. He was running the mission from start to finish in his mind, trying to find what in Death’s name had gone wrong that caused Eliz to lose his arm.

Over, and over, and over.

He cared deeply for the kid. He was not a stranger to seeing his fellow vode getting injured, or worse, dying. Regrettably, he had gotten used to the latter. Such was the life of a Mandalorian that had a close brush with Death itself, regularly. But Eliz? He regarded him as a son. His heart sank every time he got to the point in the mission where the young lad was no longer in shock; when he started to scream in great, terrible pain as he came to the sudden realisation he had lost his arm.

His scream stabbed him deeper than any blade could ever hope to pierce into his mortal flesh. The young warrior’s injury had hit the giant hard. Harder than he expected.

The giant recoiled back as the automated doors before him retracted to the sides into their housings and opened. He had zoned out until that point. The sudden motion caused him to tense his muscles as if preparing for a fight. Pausing by the doorway for a moment, the giant shook his head slowly as he pinched where the bridge of his nose would be over his helmet’s faceplate. With a muffled sigh, the giant stepped inside the empty barracks and plopped down on his bunk and just sat there in silence without uttering a single word.

His white glowing visor stared at the durasteel floor underneath his combat boots. He just couldn’t get over it, but as anger welled up inside him, he was starting to get over his grief. Two scenes were playing inside his head now. Explosive ordnance slamming onto the frames of the nightclub’s exits, and the pillars besides them. The torn limbs from the explosions. The almost deafening screams of dozens upon dozens of civilians scared chitless for their lives. And the ones that were ripped in half for being unfortunate enough to be caught by the Basilisk’s six barrelled, rotary particle cannon…

A single name then rang continuously in his mind. Shai. His second in command of his squad.

In anger, the giant’s broad chestplate rose and fell heavily as he recalled what she did perfectly in full detail. It didn’t make sense to him. Why? Why did she do it? It was intentional. It had to be. There was nothing unintentional about the calls she made during that mission. Sitting in complete silence, rage continued to build up inside him, coursing through his veins as he tried to make sense of the unwarranted slaughter of the non-combatants in that mission.

In his mind, her actions had put a stain into their honor. There was no glory, no honor to be had in such feats.

 

[Shai Maji]

Done with their debriefing, Shai slowly followed after Kranak in her full kit. Her head hung low and her heart was heavy as she poured over the mission and everything that happened. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts as each and every detail stood out to her.

It was too much to think about.

The hunt itself. She wanted to tear the Sith apart, to make him suffer and to watch him writhe in pain as he died a slow death... but they had to bring him in alive. She despised that order. And at the end of the day, what did it cost? Half the team was injured, pretty much. Siv, Faison, Kranak, Eliz... the boy was the one that shook her the most. She hadn’t seen him in literal years, and suddenly he suffered a wound he would never fully recover from. A wound that she could have prevented if she were just a bit sharper with her actions. She was responsible for him suffering that wound in the first place. Her left hand held onto her right bicep as the scene played over in her mind. She knew better than most how it felt like, and now she had to watch one of the last of her kiddies suffer through that same fate because she messed up.

She wasn’t a failure.

Then there was the matter of what she did. She consciously opened fire on civilians, gave the order for her Basilisk to put them in even more danger. At the time the only things that mattered to her was getting the team out safely and to get their target, everything else was irrelevant. But now that her mind cleared up and the mission was over, she realised what she had done, how low she stooped.

She wasn’t a failure.

She blinked in surprise as the door to their barracks slid open. It seemed that Kranak had some things on his mind as well. She wouldn’t be surprised if their thoughts revolved around the exact same topics.

Following him inside, she wordlessly took off her helmet with a heavy sigh and dropped it onto her bed before she started to do the same with her armour. Bit by bit, the pieces came off and landed carelessly on her bed until she only remained in her body glove. With a sniff and shaky hands she unzipped it and got rid of it as well, slipping some cargo pants and a tank top over her sports underwear.

It felt like she ran a mile when she was finally dressed. Another sniff and a shaky breath as she sat on her bed and picked up her helmet. ”I’m not a failure...” She muttered as she pressed her forehead against it. ”I’m not a failure.” Tears formed in her eyes as she pressed harder against it, her beskar nails screeching against the sides of the helmet as she gripped it tighter. ”I’m not a failure.”

With a grunt she hurled the helmet against the opposite wall and buried her face in her hands with a sob. ”I’m not a failure.” She continued to mutter to herself. She didn’t pay attention to Kranak’s rising anger, though her words were likely loud enough for him to hear in the quiet room.

It wouldn’t be the first time either. When they slept in the barracks, her whimpers, roars and screams woke them up every now and then. Not often enough to be a problem, but often enough for her to be deeply embarrassed and play it off as nothing.

”I’m not a failure.” Tears started to collect against her hands as she held her eyes shut with her synth skin-covered palms.

Kranak Vizsla

 

[Kranak Vizsla]

M I S C O N D U C T

Location: Kestri, The Kom’rk, The Iron Barracks, Barrack Number 104
Local Time: 14:30
Date: -DATA CORRUPTED-
Primary Objective: Process the Results of Bounty Mission
Secondary Objective: Learn/Understand What Happened to Shai
Equipment: Loadout 1 (Right Vambrace’s retractable Fusion Cutter swapped with Paralyzing Darts)
Tags: Shai Maji

”I’m not a failure.”

The giant looked up from the durasteel floor at the sound of Shai’s buy’ce striking the wall opposite from her with a loud, metallic crash. The helmet rolled away a few feet upon landing on the floor, towards Wren’s locker by her bunk. The giant’s visor turned towards the Shistavanen vod. Her face was buried in her hands. His high definition audio sensors in his helmet picked up her sobbing. She was going through some sort of nervous breakdown, that much was apparent. He had seen his fair share of it in his vode.

But it could not just be about the latest mission they’ve had been to. Shai had changed. That much was very apparent. She was different both physically and mentally. It didn’t take a genius to tell she was gravely injured at some point, hence her cybernetics. But the cause of her both physical and mental injuries had still remained a mystery. She hadn’t told anything about it to her squadmates as far as Kranak knew. He had known the Shistavanen for years, having fought shoulder to shoulder with her on some occasions back in the Union Army. Even with a comradery that went years back, she hadn’t told him anything about it. But he didn’t judge. He had... things that he did not share with anyone, no matter how close they were to Kranak.

Regardless of what she was going through, what she did today was not acceptable. Non-combatant, aruetiise deaths were not something new to him. Even in the Mando’ade’s glorious history there were times where they had to subject entire worlds into destruction. Such actions were warranted, however. Such as the incursion on Serocco during the Mandalorian Wars of old. The cowardly aruetiise Republic of the ancient times had built military bases either very close or inside cities, inhabited by civilians. They basically used their people as a shield against them. That cowardly tactic of their enemy gave the Crusaders no choice but to raze that world. They could not afford to get bogged down in a costly war of attrition and lose their momentum during their crusade. It would have been more honorable and praise worthy of the aruetiise if they fought them on open ground. It would have not made any difference to the outcome, they would still be crushed under the might of the Mandalorian crusaders, but at least they would not have endangered millions of civilian lives.

The blood of the innocent was on the hands of the cowardly aruetii army, not the Mandalorian Crusaders.

Perhaps the same thing could be said for what had transpired in this mission, that the blood of the innocent, those unfortunate enough to meet their demise was on Darth Maliphant’s hands, instead of Shai’s. But no, they did not face any insurmountable odds where indiscriminate use of explosives and blasters gave them the edge they’d need to take him down. Far from it. They could have isolated him from the crowd, herd him into an opening and then fight him. They had the wonderful choice of forcing that chakaar to fight on their terms, not his.

But no. That did not happen. Deciding to take the matter into her own hands, she had kicked things off, diverting from the plan.

He had a responsibility to the Si’kahya and The Enclave. Unwarranted killing of aruetiise would not look good on them. How would they be different from the very enemy they detested with every fabric of their being if they were to carelessly murder non-combatants for the sake of murdering them?

The giant stood up from his bunk and started to walk towards the sobbing Shistavanen at a slow, deliberate pace. <”What,”> Kranak hissed as he came closer. Anger continuing to seethe in him. He started speaking softly at first. <”Is, your major MALFUNCTION!”> And at last, the giant blew up in rage as he stood before her. His hands were on his hips as he continued. <”Do you have ANY idea what in the KARK you did!?”> He continued, without skipping a beat. <”OF COURSE you do! You are a Si’kahya, for Manda's sake! CREAM of the crop,”>

<”Or at least you’re SUPPOSED to be one!”> Leaning forward towards Shai as he shouted, the armored giant would then add in sarcasm. Kranak had completely lost his usual, seemingly endless stoicism at this point. The Supercommando had his limits, after all. <”So WHY, in the BLOODY HELL, did you THINK it was the right idea to use explosive ordnance, in an area CROWDED with NON-COMBATANTS!?”>

The giant took a deep breath before he continued shouting at his second in command. As an Alor’ad, he had the authority to resolve minor misconduct issues of a Si’kahya Verd a part of his squad without resorting to higher forms of discipline, such as court-martialing. This issue would be labeled as one. A minor misconduct for a Mandalorian warrior, at least. This would have certainly been a court-martialing if they were some aruetiise troopers, in an aruetii army.

<”I want to know EXACTLY, and I mean EXACTLY, what in the KARK YOU WERE THINKING, when you decided that was a good idea. NOW!”> The Supercommando impatiently waited for an answer as he towered over his long-time comrade. It just didn’t make sense for the giant. She had changed so drastically. She was no longer the old Shai he used to know. Knowing that pained him. He could still see some fractions of the old Shai on some rare occasions, but her injuries had changed her. He silently cursed at who or what was responsible for her current… state.

 

[Shai Maji]

Shai's head slowly lifted from her hands as Kranak spoke up, only to insult her in the one way she never expected to be from any of her comrades. She flinched as he continued to shout at her before she stood and sized up right against him. "Don't talk to me like I'm some KARKING DROID!" She shouted back with tears still streaming down her face. He continued to berate her as she took a step back, grief and anger swelling in her as she listened to him.

When he finally stopped shouting at her, she took a shaky breath and wiped at her eyes, not that it helped much. "I don't know, okay!" She shouted back. "My focus was to get you all out alive and to get the target! That's it! But... I don't know!" She dropped back onto her bunk and held her head. "Cut off escape, get the target, get you all out alive! That was it! I-I don't know why I thought dropping the walls on the civvies was a good idea!" She looked up to him with her cheeks drenched. "Kranak, you know me! I wouldn't ever turn my guns on civvies, not without reason. I... that ain't me, Kran!" Her voice was desperate, dropping with confusion as she tried to figure out her own actions.

She shook her head with a hard sniff. "Cut off escape, get the target, get you all out alive... the rest was irrelevant. But... Kranak, I don't shoot civilians! Never in my life did I raise my weapons against people who don't deserve it." Clutching her temples again, she tried to massage the enormous headache away. "Cut off escape, get the target, get you all out alive. Vode first. The rest is irrelevant." She muttered.

Seemingly at the drop of a hat, her head snapped up with an enraged scowl as she stood up again. "I'm not a failure, dammit!" She shouted at him. "Our people come first! Vode an! And after everything that's happened to us. To our people. To me! I ain't gonna let a few civvies get in the way of that!" She slammed a fist to her chest as she glared up at him. She turned away and picked up her helmet only to throw it at him this time. "Karking hell, Kranak! I did what I thought was right!" Grabbing one of her pistols, she held it out for him to take. "If you wanna punish me for wanting to do right by our people, then go ahead and do it! Pull the trigger." With heaving breaths and sobs she stared up at him with defeat in her cybernetic eyes.

The rage broke as her shoulders slumped. The hand holding the pistol shook violently as she stared at him. As her eyes drifted to the pistol, she let it drop to the floor seemingly in disgust. "I don't know myself anymore, Kranak. I... I..." She choked on her words as she slumped down against her locker to the floor. "He's wrong. It wasn't my fault. Their deaths weren't my fault. The dar'manda killed them, not me. I'm not a failure." She mumbled to herself through her sobs as she hugged her legs against her chest with eyes wide as saucers.

Kranak Vizsla

 

[Kranak Vizsla]

M I S C O N D U C T

Location: Kestri, The Kom’rk, The Iron Barracks, Barrack Number 104
Local Time: 14:30
Date: -DATA CORRUPTED-
Primary Objective: Process the Results of Bounty Mission
Secondary Objective: N/A
Equipment: Loadout 1 (Right Vambrace’s retractable Fusion Cutter swapped with Paralyzing Darts)
Tags: Shai Maji

Lifting her head slowly from the cybernetic hands she had buried her face in earlier, the Shistavanen vod finally answered the giant’s question in tears. Standing on her feet and after wiping her tears, she started to shout back at the Supercommando after a shaky breath. Normally, hearing her -- or any other vode for that matter -- talking in that tone would have pained him, but the giant was way too infuriated to give a womp rat’s shebs about it at the time.

”I don’t know, okay!”

<”You don’t know? You don’t KNOW?! BULLCHIT!”> The giant shouted back in complete disbelief. No, there was no way in Haran this was something she did unintentionally. His second in command continued to shout back at him in response.

”My focus was to get you all out alive and to get the target! That’s it! But… I don’t know!”

She dropped back onto her bunk and held her head.

“Cut off escape, get the target, get you all out alive! That was it! I-I don’t know why I thought dropping the walls on the civvies was a good idea!”

“Kranak, you know me! I wouldn’t ever turn my guns on civvies, not without reason.”

<”Well, you DID! You opened fire FIRST! I SAW what happened! There was absolutely NOTHING unintentional about that! What am I supposed to write in my report, hmm? That you just simply LOST IT?!”> The giant retorted harshly at her. Was she lying to him? No, it can’t be. But he knew her for so long. He witnessed the way she fought against the enemies of the Union many times in the field of battle. She was brutal, ruthless, calculating, but most importantly, very well conscious of her actions.

Very much the same Shai he saw in that forsaken nightclub on Barbatos.

”I… that ain’t me, Kran!”

<”No, stop lying to me and to YOURSELF! It WAS you! You are not some raw, unbloodied di’kutla RECRUIT! You are a seasoned VETERAN! HOW do you expect me to believe you!”> The Supercommando was slowly starting to make up his mind about Shai. He couldn’t believe it. Just as he was going to scold her with his anger doubled, Shai shook her head after a sharp sniff, muttering something frantically.

”Cut off escape, get the target, get you all out alive… the rest was irrelevant. But… Kranak, I don’t shoot civilians! Never in my life did I raise my weapons against people who don’t deserve it.”

<”Oh, so they DESERVED it, then! Is that what you’re saying now? And based on WHAT?!”> The giant crossed his arms over his broad chestplate in disbelief. His heart sank, however, upon realising she was going through a stress disorder of some sort. He had seen a great deal of it in his brothers and sisters before. All Mandalorians had something they would carry its weight for the rest of their lives. Mostly regret. He hadn’t come across a single vod that did not regret anything they had done in the heat of battle, or in their lives.

She continued to frantically repeat the same words in repeat once again. He had realized it earlier, but had just ignored it, as he was busy trying to prove a point. But now, having some time to shut up and think in between their squabbles…

Her nightmares, the muffled whimpers evolving into sudden, loud roars and screams in the middle of the night… They had to be connected with what she was going through now, then. And with what she had done in that nightclub. When questioned about her nightmares, she just shrugged and went back to sleep, or found some other way to play it off as if it was nothing of concern.

“Cut off escape, get the target, get you all out alive. Vode first. The rest is irrelevant.”

Seemingly at the drop of a hat, her head snapped up with an enraged scowl as she stood up again. “I’m not a failure dammit!” She shouted at him. “Our people come first! Vode an! And after everything that’s happened to us. To our people. To me! I ain’t gonna let a few civvies get in the way of that!” She slammed a fist to her chest as she glared up at him. “Karking hell, Kranak! I did what I thought was right!”

Anger filled his mind once again by her retort. <”Few civvies? FEW CIVVIES!? You killed DOZENS, YOU-”> With impeccable reflexes, the giant catched the buy’ce thrown at him mid air. He watched in silence as the Shistavanen angrly paced back at her bunks, reaching for something. He heard the distinct, leathery clack of a blaster pistol being drawn from its hard leather holster. <”What-”>

Grabbing one of her pistols, she held it out for him to take
“If you wanna punish me for wanting to do right by our people, then go ahead and do it! Pull the trigger.”

The giant stood there in shock, unsure as to how he should respond to the situation at hand for the moment. But one thing was for certain, her psyche was heavily damaged, more than she let on. Unstable perhaps? No. No, if she was completely unstable then she would not be able to pass the psych eval test at the start of their training. There was no way of faking that.

But she was going through very hard times. That much was clear as the clean waters of Lake Htagir.

Her chest rose and fell heavily with each pull of shaky breath in between sobs as she stared up at him with the faint red glare of her cybernetic eyes. After a few moments, the Shistavanen’s shoulders slumped. The hand grasping the pistol shook heavily. Her eyes dropping to the pistol after a moment, her grasp of the blaster faded. The weapon clattered on the ground after being dropped in disgust.

”I don’t know myself anymore, Kranak. I… I…”
She choked on her words as she slumped down against her locker to the floor.
“He’s wrong. It wasn’t my fault. Their deaths weren’t my fault. The dar’manda killed them, not me. I’m not a failure.”

The giant kept his penetrating gaze at his long-time comrade in silence for a long period of time. His scarred, steely face left its place for a sorrowful wince. Shifting his gaze at her blaster pistol by his feet, the giant leaned down and picked it up with his free hand. He was still clutching her buy’ce on his left hand. Slowly turning around, he sat on the metal bench by the large, circular durasteel table, turned towards Shai.

After setting her buy'ce down on the metal bench, he heaved a sigh as he inspected the mastercrafted blaster pistol in his hands. The safety was turned off, and it was loaded. No, no way in Haran would he shoot his friend. The mere thought of it sickened him. But what cut him to the bone was the fact that she felt bad enough to suggest she be put out of her misery.

Smoothly, the giant pressed down on the magazine release at the side of the pistol grip with his right thumb. He catched the magazine sliding off with his left hand and put it on the table, effectively powering down the blaster pistol. With a soft tap, the giant turned on the safety with the flick of its fire switch, and set it beside its magazine on the table.

The Supercommando only then realized they were not alone, shooting a sudden glance at the door, he saw several silhouettes wearing beskar’gam. They were a part of several other squads that had passed the arduous trials and joined the ranks of the Si’kahya. They were presumably drawn into their bunks once they heard the violent arguing. Without a moment's hesitation, the giant pulled his tactical hatchet tucked underneath his warbelt’s buckle as he stood up with immense speed that belied his gigantic stature. The beskar head of the hatchet was still covered in the young lad’s blood. He held the very tool the Dark Lord had used to sever Eliz’ left arm.

In one swift motion and with great force, the giant threw the axe at one of them. The hatchet landed mere inches away from a tall silhouette’s faceplate, and struck the durasteel wall beside his head with a loud, metallic thud. The blood stained beskar head was buried in the durasteel wall. He had intentionally missed.<”LEAVE US THE KARK ALONE, YOU PIECE OF CHITS!”> The Supercommando bellowed in rage at those gathered up by the door of their bunks, looking inside. The giant gave them a death stare underneath his white glowing visor as they scurried away from their bunks. One or two of them hesitated at first, but they joined their comrades fast, presumably not wanting to pick a fight with the giant.

He stood there for a couple of minutes in silence, trying to calm himself down. He no longer cared about the aruetiise that met their untimely death anymore. At least not any more than he cared for Shai’s well being. As Alor’ad, he also had a responsibility to his squadmates. Top responsibility was their well being. They were more than just a squad. They had all bled together as they earned the right to call themselves a Si’kahya. He would not be leaving Shai alone to deal with this on her own.

With heavy steps, the giant walked closer to the Shistavanen slumped down on the floor, her back leaning against her locker. She was continuing to mumble to herself as she hugged her legs against her chest. Her cybernetic eyes were widened in shock. Her physical being was present here, but her mind? She was probably zoned out, presumably reliving the mission or another plaguesome memory of hers that related to her current devastated state.

The Supercommando sat next to her, resting his back on the locker. His gaze remained on his old friend. <”What happened to you, ori’vod?”> He gently placed his right hand over her right shoulder, softly pulling her closer to himself. There wasn’t a hint of anger in his voice now. Just sorrow and concern for his old friend. He felt sorry, in fact, for blowing up like that. Eliz losing his arm was a bit much to process. Coupled with her misconduct, he had lost his temper.

But those things were not his concern at the moment. Shai’s well being was. He would remain at her side and help her in any way he could. Punishment and his after action report could wait.

 

[Shai Maji]

"I'm not a failure. I'm not a failure. I'm not a failure..." The shuddering, sobbing mess of a Shistavanen continued to rock back and forth slightly as she repeated the same sentence over and over, her wide eyes still streaming with tears. Her nails bit through material and synth-skin as she clutched her legs to her chest as tight as she could. She wasn't in the room anymore, she was nowhere. Trapped in a crumbling building as he looked down at her broken form.

His words kept ringing in her ears and she simply kept fighting against them as much as possible, hoping that she would finally win over those cursed words.

Words muttered by her mother's crew, words muttered by her kiddies, half burned and mutilated as they stood around the shallow grave that held them in the centre of their clan's burning village.

"You're a failure."

"You're a failure!"

"YOU'RE A FAILURE!"

Shai froze solid with a whimper as Kranak's arms wrapped around her. Then, slowly, she leaned against him until finally she let go of her legs and hugged Kranak as tightly as she could. If it wasn't for his armour, his ribs and back would likely have suffered the full might of her cybernetic grip. Her head pressed into his chest as she simply let the tears flow through her sobs and whimpers.

His words finally registered and she cleared her throat, taking a deep breath to calm down somewhat. "They broke me, Kran. He broke me." She muttered. With a deep breath she continued, "I was on Coruscant. Me and Aerith, we got pinned to the ground, too many fighters in the air. There... A Sith Lord showed up. His apprentice, his followers, soldiers, these... karking undead Sith monstrosities. We... we fought. We fought hard. I killed two of the Sith skugs... a bunch of his troopers, and... I can't remember."

She slowly looked up at him. "I can't remember after that. I think... I engaged the lord. But after that... I woke up on Denon. Aerith took me to a friend who patched me up. I woke up... without arms. Without legs. My body didn't work, my skull was fractured, my back was broken. My eyes... my karking eyes." She clenched them shut and brought a hand over them. "Visor blew into my eyes, Doc said. He said... seventy-five percent of my body is cybernetic. Limbs, organs, spine and ribs... I'm barely a person, Kran!" She let go of him and slammed her head back, a loud 'clang' ringing as the back of her new skull rang against the locker door.

"I see his face, Kran. Every time I go to sleep, he is there. I... I get dreams of what happened. My old clan... my kiddies... my mom's crew... they keep telling me that it's my fault. That I'm a failure. I'm afraid to go to sleep because every time I see their faces over and over again. Their mutilated faces... my kiddies, Kranak. They threw them in a shallow grave and set them on fire!" Her memories bounced all over, from months all the way back to years ago. "They wiped my clan out... to send a message. They shot my friends in the back of their heads, murdered the kiddies, burned the village down... to send a KARKING MESSAGE!" A fist came down hard enough on the floor to crack the duracrete. "And when I finally get a chance to get back at them, to make the Sith bleed for what they did, I get turned into some kind of freakshow!"

She slumped back against him, clinging to his arm for some kind of support. "They... they're right, Kran." She admitted with defeat in her voice. "No matter how much I say it, they're right. If I just took a gun and shot the cops, my ma wouldn't have went to prison. If I left just an hour sooner after I picked her up, I could have been there. I could have stopped it. My... my kiddies would still be alive if I just did something sooner! I'm a failure, Kran!" She cried out, a grimace of raw pain splitting her face as she hugged herself. "It hurts, Kranak. It hurts. They're not even there anymore, they're not supposed to hurt..." She rubbed at her arms as if trying to soothe some sort of pain...

Kranak Vizsla Alora Vizsla

 

[Alora Vizsla]

The Mandalorian with the violet-highlights strode down the center of the hallway with a big smile on her face, cheeks scrunched up to the point they blocked out her eyes, a slight tilt of her head, and a little bounce to her step. That's how the vod sent off by Kranak saw her as the distance between them and her shrank. Just that friendly oddball not worth paying too much mind too while their thoughts and mouths were occupied about other matters.

Yep, they had more important things to think about. Right up until the smiling young woman drew both disruptors and pointed them at the heads of the nosy vod. "Heya. Surprise seeing you all here. Not as surprising as what you saw back there, huh? Now that I have your attention, I just wanted to say if I ever hear even the smallest peep about what you saw or heard or thought... Well, you all know vod don't kill vod, right?" Alora's cheeks fell to reveal they'd been hiding the utter absence of mirth in the woman's brown eyes. "I'm willing to forget all about that, if you harm them by idle gossip. Understood?"

The left disruptor twirled on Alora's finger before she took hold of it again with the barrel pointing at one of the vod's hands that had twitched. "I'll take your hand here and now if that's your choice. Settle up with your throat later."

When they drew their hand back slightly Alora nodded. "Right. Be seeing you then." Disruptors still held aloft, barrels pointed at the ceiling, she strode straight down the middle of the group toward the room where Kranak and Shai sat.

By the time Alora neared the doorway, she'd already holstered the pistols. She'd stopped just short of the doorway, just out of sight, at the sound of Shai gushing softly and loudly in Kranak's arms. Part of her wanted to get in there right then and hold Shai too, but she had opened up to Kranak; if Alora entered now it might only be a distraction and give Shai the chance to shut down again. She fingers tightened into fists at her side as her lips thinned.

There'd been signs something was wrong with her Shistavanen, and Alora hoped she'd made it clear the big woman could come to her anytime, but Shai was a proud person that didn't want to look... weak. Guess it had taken yelling at her to throw her emotionally off balance. Only trouble was just how far off balance had she fallen? They had to help right such a large personality back on its feet now, or they could lose her to the fear and anger and helplessness Shai felt.

It was important Shai express herself, so for the moment as much as it hurt Alora would wait.

Kranak Vizsla Shai Maji

 

[Kranak Vizsla]

M I S C O N D U C T

Location: Kestri, The Kom’rk, The Iron Barracks, Barrack Number 104
Local Time: 14:34
Date: -DATA CORRUPTED-
Primary Objective: Be At Shai’s Side
Secondary Objective: Process the Results of Bounty Mission
Equipment: Loadout 1 (Right Vambrace’s retractable Fusion Cutter swapped with Paralyzing Darts)
Tags: Shai Maji | Alora Vizsla

”I’m not a failure. I’m not a failure. I’m not a failure…”

The Shistavanen continued to frantically repeat those words to herself, over and over again as the giant sat down beside her. She let out a heart breaking whimper as the giant gently embraced her. Pulling her to himself, the Shistavanen vod slowly leaned against him. Finally, she let go of her curled up legs and embraced Kranak in return. The giant let out a muffled gasp as she hugged him hard. He could feel her squeeze even though he was wearing his beskar’gam at the time. Keeping his grasp of her right shoulder with his right hand, the giant placed his left hand over her right bicep, pulling her closer to him. Her head pressed into his broad chestplate. Her streaming tears started to dribble freely onto his jet-black paint job of his chestplate as she cried her heart out. Her sobs and whimpers tore his heart out. He never saw Shai this hurt before.

It took a long time for her to speak. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down so she could speak. The giant would listen to her in silence.

”They broke me, Kran. He broke me.” She muttered. With a deep breath she continued, “I was on Coruscant. Me and Aerith, we got pinned to the ground, too many fighters in the air. There… A Sith Lord showed up. His apprentice, his followers, soldiers, these… karking undead Sith monstrosities. We… we fought. We fought hard. I killed two of the Sith skugs… a bunch of his troopers, and… I can’t remember.”

Lifting her head from his chestplate, she slowly looked up at the giant Supercommando. He would respond in kind, lowering his gaze to meet her cybernetic eyes as he listened to her. She was referring to the battle on Coruscant, the giant assumed. He had read the reports. The Galactic Alliance had emerged victorious over the Maw invaders, but their casualties were in the millions, both military and civilian.

"I can’t remember after that. I think… I engaged the lord. But after that… I woke up on Denon. Aerith took me to a friend who patched me up. I woke up… without arms. Without legs. My body didn’t work, my skull was fractured, my back was broken. My eyes… mr karking eyes.”
She clenched them shut and brought a hand over them.
“Visor blew into my eyes, Doc said. He said… seventy-five percent of my body is cybernetic. Limbs, organs, spine and ribs… I am barely a person Kran!”

Letting go of him, she slammed her head back against the locker’s metal door. A loud clang reverberated in the empty bunks. His heart sank upon hearing the extent of her injuries. He felt his throat choke up. He barely pushed away his tears as he lived her memories, imagining her pain in his mind. It would have paled in comparison as to what she had gone through, he was certain of that.

But it would not end there. She continued.

”I see his face, Kran. Every time I go to sleep, he is there. I… I get dreams of what happened. My old clan… my kiddies… my mom’s crew… they keep telling me that it’s my fault. That I am a failure. I’m afraid to go to sleep because every time I see their faces over and over again. Their mutilated faces… my kiddies, Kranak. They threw them in a shallow grave and set them on fire!”
Her memories bounced all over, from months all the way back to years ago.
“They wiped my clan out… to send a message. They shot my friends in the back of their heads, murdered the kiddies, burned the village down… to send a KARKING MESSAGE!”
A fist came down hard enough on the floor to crack the duracrete.
“And when I finally get a chance to get back at them, to make the Sith bleed for what they did, I get turned into some kind of freakshow!”

Tears now welled up on his tear troughs and began to slowly trail down from his cheeks. He could not hold them back anymore. The mention of the children, the future of her clan getting butchered in such a way… It was always the children that got to him. Aruetii or not. His mind drifted to Eliz and Gwyn at that moment. He was already somewhat devastated at the loss of Eliz’ left arm at the hands of the damnable Dark Lord. It was probably a mere fraction of what she felt. Maybe not even that. He could understand her pain, but cannot imagine the intensity of it in his mind. Perhaps he would feel the same way if something were to happen to Gwyn and Eliz.

She slumped back against him afterwards. The Shistavanen vod clung to his big, muscle-bound arm. He embraced her tightly in response with his left hand as she grasped her right arm, pulling her closer as she spoke.

”They… they’re right, Kran.”
She admitted with defeat in her voice.
“No matter how much I say it, they’re right. If I just took a gun and shot the cops, my ma wouldn’t have went to prison. If I left just an hour sooner after I picked her up, I could have been there. I could have been there. I could have stopped it. My… my kiddies would still be alive if I just did something sooner! I’m a failure, Kran!”
She cried out, a grimace of raw pain splitting her face as she hugged herself.
“It hurts, Kranak. It hurts. They’re not even there anymore, they’re not supposed to hurt…”
She rubbed at her arms as if trying to soothe some sort of pain…

He took a moment to swallow his spittle before he spoke. <”No. No, you,”> his voice came out somewhat hoarse through his helmet’s annunciator. <”Are not a failure. Don’t say that. Don’t let them say that. I have seen what a failure looks like, Shai. You are not it.”> His broad chestplate rose as he took a deep breath before he continued. <”Look at me,”> he softly beckoned as he loosened his embrace at first and scooched slightly to his side to see her better while he sat on the ground beside her. His hands grasped her firmly by her shoulders. He would continue once her gaze met his white glowing visor. <”You are the strongest woman I have had the honor and pleasure of calling ori’vod. Your resilience, your strength -- in both mind and in body -- is remarkable!”> The giant was genuine about his statement. Shouldering all this pain was not something a lesser being could handle. A lesser man, or woman, would have been crushed underneath the unimaginable grief.

The giant Ori’ramikad softly caressed her jaw and right cheek with his large hand as he pressed the dome of his buy’ce against her forehead gently. <”It demands great strength to merely endure this pain, to carry its weight. You do it on a daily basis. You not only endure, but fight on!”> He shared her grief, but could not begin to imagine how hard it was for her. The sheer weight of it… He wasn’t sure if he would remain sane if he went through what she experienced. Could he really carry the weight of such experiences over his shoulders? He had endured his fair share of grief and sorrow, but this? He felt the bitter mixture of admiration and sorrow in his heart for Shai.

<”You are not alone. I am here for you. Your squad, will be there for you. You do not have to endure this alone.”> They had bonded deeply with one another during training. They had been together more than they were together with their own clans. Their squad was like a second clan for them all. The grief one of them had was a grief all of them they would share. They were nothing on their own, but everything together.

He closed his eyes shut as he continued, the dome of his helmet still pressed against hers. <”I know it hurts. It will continue to hurt…”> The giant would fall silent for a moment before he continued again. <”Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum.”> The giant uttered softly. He lifted his head slowly, opening his tearful eyes as his large hands continued to grasp her by her shoulders firmly. He swallowed the lump in his throat hard before he continued. <”Honor the dead through remembrance and vengeance. It is the only way.”>

<”Aay’han.”> The giant muttered as his arms coiled around her in a soft embrace, while gently resting the side of his helmet on her temple. Now understanding what she was going through, he felt the sharp sting of remorse, stabbing into his heart. He would curse silently at the culprits behind her terrible grief as he tried to comfort her.

 

[Shai Maji]

Kranak finally spoke up, but actually acknowledging his words was a hard job for her as she sat beside him. She finally turned to look up at him when he scooted away and took her by her shoulders. With hesitation she kept her gaze up as he reassured her that she wasn't a failure. How he could say such things about her was a mystery she could not solve. "If I was strong, I wouldn't be a karking machine, Kran." She muttered through her tears.

He soldiered on, pressing his forehead against hers. Her eyes closed as she listened to him speak nothing but praise to her. Despite her own reservations of his words, her sobbing slowly started to dwindle to sniffs as he spoke with a soothing voice. Her eyes fluttered open when he pulled back, looking directly into his visor. A metal plate with no emotion. Without a word she reached up and pulled his helmet off to look into his battered gaze, a face with emotion just like hers. She wasn't a machine. She wasn't going to talk to something with the face of a machine. He pulled her into a hug again and she welcomed it with her own. "All I have left is the fight, Kran. It can't stop. I can't stop. I never wanted to be this way. I was a smith, a gun runner, an engineer... I never wanted to be this way. I've lost so much of myself already... but I can't stop now. Not after all of this..." She spoke as she held onto him.

"I just want to go back. To the gun running, to the smithing and engineering. To my clan and my kiddies... I want them back, Kran." She hugged him tighter.

They were her family. The squad, Kragr, Kranak and Alora, the Enclave... too much to lose. She couldn't afford to lose more. Her crusade wasn't their burden, it was her own. The nightmares, the failures, they were nobody else's fight except her own. She needed to do something to keep them safe. She wasn't going to risk their lives in her personal pursuit for vengeance. She needed to do something drastic...

"I don't want to be alone again. I don't want to lose more than I already have." She pulled back to look up at him, wiping at her eyes as she gave a sniff. "I've lost too much already. But my memory, Kran... I forgot Alora's face. The faces of my kiddies... my own mom. I ain't lettin' the Sith get away with that..." The grief in her voice gave way to determination. She was about to continue when she gave a sniff, then a few more as her head turned towards the door. "... Alora?" She called out weakly. "Come here. I know you're there." She turned slightly to look at the door.

Alora Vizsla Kranak Vizsla

 

[Alora Vizsla]

"If I was strong, I wouldn't be a karking machine, Kran."

Alora silently placed a hand on the wall near the door and bent over slightly in the wake of that statement. Why... Why would she say something like that? Her right hand rose as the young Mandalorian gaze down at it as though she could interrogate it with her gaze. After all they'd done together? What Shai had accomplished in regaining control of her own body? What did that statement say about everything... about herself?

Leave. Alora, leave, now.

The Gambit was being protective of her again. Probably afraid of what else Shai would say on the subject and how it would pain Alora. He was always so considerate when it came to judgmental comments about cybernetics. But, Alora wouldn't leave. Shai was probably her best friend in the Enclave, and if Alora left then... what would that mean? No, she had to stay. Had to... figure this all out.

Fortunately, the topic didn't persist any longer than that. Though hearing the pain in Shai's voice about all she'd lost was scarcely better. It sounded like Shai had become obsessed with The Fight against the Sith -- revenge. Not just because of her physical trauma, but because she'd lost her clan and her kiddies. The big girl had lost more than Alora had with such personal loss clenched tightly in her heart. You didn't point out the Sunk Cost fallacy to someone like that. How killing random Sith didn't bring back lost limbs or bring the dead to life. Especially family. No, nothing so... strategic could address such loss. That made it so much harder, and the burden so much heavier, and Alora wished she could fix that as easily as she could an arm.

Just as Shai seemed to be turning from grief back to determination, which would have Alora concerned might turn just into a desire to kill Sith again, the Shistavanen's big nose sussed her out. With no point in staying out of 'the moment,' Alora straightened up and stepped into view. She'd left her helmet in the locker, so her honey brown eyes found the two of them sitting next to one another.

After a moment she strode through the doorway and found her voice, "I, uh, did lots of smuggling and clandestine stuff for a while after... stuff happened. Still do, actually," Alora gave them a weak smile. "So, you know, if you ever need..." She trailed off as she'd drawn nearer to the group. Her eyes slid to Kranak briefly before they turned back toward Shai.

There'd been a split second of hesitation given what Shai had said, but in the end Alora sought to tightly wrap her arms about the big Wardog. "I wish you'd open up more. We're your vod, your squad, your family, you big furball. I don't want you to be alone again either because I care, Shai. We care." Okay, okay, the others could care too. They did care, so Alora shouldn't be all selfish. "I could tell you were hurting, but not why. We can't help if we don't know why; we'd just be in your way, and that's the last thing we'd want." Cybernetics were easy. Psychology was hard. But Alora figured genuine interest and concern would help, and she was pretty confident she could manage that.

Shai Maji Kranak Vizsla

 

[Kranak Vizsla]

M I S C O N D U C T

Location: Kestri, The Kom’rk, The Iron Barracks, Barrack Number 104
Local Time: 14:37
Date: -DATA CORRUPTED-
Primary Objective: Be At Shai’s Side
Secondary Objective: Process the Results of Bounty Mission
Equipment: Loadout 1 (Right Vambrace’s retractable Fusion Cutter swapped with Paralyzing Darts)
Tags: Shai Maji | Alora Vizsla

”If I was strong, I wouldn’t be a karking machine, Kran.”

The dome of his buy’ce [1] was gently pressed against the Shistavanen’s brow at the time, he would continue to try and soothe the pain of his long time comrade with his soft voice. Although her initial response would sting his heart to the quick, the giant would not falter. He didn’t believe what she said for a second. That was the woe within her speaking. He had the privilege to fight alongside her on a number of missions over the years long ago and into the present; and if Manda [2] willing, into the future, among the venerable ranks of the Si’kahya [3], in the service to their people. The Supercommando was impressed and respected the Nite Owl’s skill and ferocity in battle the moment he had seen her wage war.

It mattered not, whether she was more machine than man. One’s mortal vessel could be broken, easily at that; what mattered was one’s spirit. And to him, hers was unwavering. It took a special breed of a Mandalorian to withstand all the pain she was going through, and still continue onwards. Her resilience only deepened his respect for his ori’vod [4] further.

Her heart-wrenching sobs dwindled into sniffs as the giant continued his efforts to comfort her. He did not stop her when her hands reached up for his helmet, and gently pulled it free after the giant had raised his head from her brow. Slipping free with a soft, depressurizing hiss, the Executioner Pattern helmet clattered on the duracrete floor; its glowing visor slowly plunged into an obsidian black.

The giant’s lamenting dark brown eyes met the pair of glowing red eyes before him. Tears ran slowly down the numerous deep and shallow scars on his face as he hugged her, softly at first. He felt her welcoming embrace in return.

”All I have left is the fight, Kran. It can’t stop. I can’t stop. I never wanted to be this way. I was a smith, a gun runner, an engineer, I never wanted to be this way. I’ve lost so much of myself already… but I can’t stop now. Not after all of this…” She spoke as he held onto him.

”I just want to go back. To the gun running, to the smithing and engineering. To my clan and my kiddies… I want them back, Kran” She hugged him tighter.

The lump in his throat grew larger as the giant nodded with a soft whimper, tightening his embrace in return as her cybernetic arms hugged him harder. The untimely departure of a foundling to Manda damned him. An Alor [5] should never have to bury their foundlings. Even one was too much. The future of her clan, the kiddies, were taken away from her, and nothing they could do had the power to bring them back. Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la [6].

But that never meant they could not be avenged. Those that murdered them would account for the crimes they’ve had committed, one way or the other.

”I don’t want to be alone again. I don’t want to lose more than I already have.”

“You won’t be. You won’t be alone again.” The Alor’ad [7] reassured her after swallowing the lump in his throat. Feeling her pull back, the giant uncoiled his arms hugging the Shistavanen ori’vod in a tight embrace and pulled back as well. His lamenting facial features would leave a stern expression in its wake, as the grief in her voice left its place to determination as she spoke.

She pulled back to look up at him, wiping at her eyes as she gave a sniff. ”I’ve lost too much already. But my memory, Kran… I forgot Alora’s face. The face of my kiddies… my own mom.I ain’t lettin’ the Sith get away with that…”

Sniffing, she paused. Her gaze shifted from the scarred face of the giant and towards the entrance to their bunks after a few more sniffs. His hands balling into fists, his scowling gaze snapped towards the door, expecting to see more of the unwelcome onlookers that were drawn to their arguing from before.

”... Alora?” She called out weakly. ”Come here. I know you’re there.” She turned slightly to look at the door.

Heaving a deep breath, the giant visibly relaxed as their squadmate strode through the doorway. He looked away from Alora and Shai for a moment, trying to wipe away his tears with his hand as his fellow clanmate spoke. There was nothing wrong with expressing one's feelings openly one-on-one, but he was their squad leader, their Alor’ad. He had to remain strong for them all. Shai and Alora were fine, but the others could not see him like this.

”I, uh, did lots of smuggling and clandestine stuff for a while after… stuff happened. Still do, actually.” Alora gave them a weak smile. “So, you know, if you ever need…” She trailed off as she’d drawn nearer to the group.

With a muffled sniff, he would shift his gaze to the two of them. His cheeks were still damp; now smudged with a faint lick of blood, dust and grime from his armored gauntlet when he wiped away his tears. The whites of his dark brown eyes were flushed with a faint pink. He listened in silence as Alora joined them and sat next to Shai and embraced the old girl tightly.

”I wish you’d open up more. We’re your vod, your squad, your family, you big furball. I don’t want you to be alone again either because I care, Shai. We care.”

“I could tell you were hurting, but not why. We can’t help if we don’t know why; we’d just be in your way, and that’s the last thing we’d want.”

The giant gave a nod of his head in silent acknowledgement, keeping his gaze on his comrades as he placed his right hand over the Wardog’s left shoulder as Alora embraced her. Later, he would later grasp Shai’s right forearm firmly after a few moments, after the two left each other's embrace.

Grasping her forearm, the giant would rise from the ground, gently pulling the Wardog on her feet along with him. The Alor’ad’s grasp would not fade away afterwards, however. He gently pulled her a little closer to him before he spoke. His eyes locked with Shai’s as he spoke. “I swear to you,” He said in a soft tone, his voice coming out slightly hoarse. “On my honor; I will be at your side until you have had your vengeance. No matter where this promise may take me; be it the other side of the galaxy, or the depths of Haran [8] itself, I will be at your side.” He was aware of the weight of such a promise. Such words would not be spoken so lightly. The giant was also aware that if something were to happen to him on his path to keep his promise to her, the Wardog could very well blame herself for the rest of her days for it. She was already carrying enough burden to last someone ten lifetimes. He didn’t want more regret adding up to her grief. He could not -no, would not let that happen.

“Your fight is my fight. You will never walk alone, ori’vod.” But he would not sit idle and do nothing for his old friend in need. No. To him, it was necessary he be at her side. He had to do this. His promise would have him go to whatever extent it would be required of him to keep his word.

Leaning towards the Wardog afterwards, the giant then gently delivered a kov’nyn [9]; sealing his promise to his ori’vod, the Mandalorian way. With a grin, the giant would then release his grasp of the Wardog’s forearm.

“Now come on,” He said, glancing at both the Wardog and Alora with a broad smile on his face. “Put on a coat or something,” He said to Shai as he turned away from the two of them and walked towards their bunks’ entrance. Seeing the haft of his hatchet he had buried into the durasteel wall he threw it to spook off the unwelcome onlookers from earlier, the giant wrenched it free from the wall effortlessly after pulling it a few times. He turned around to look at them afterwards as he tucked the hatchet to his warbelt. “Let’s see if you can drink me under the table!” Come to think of it, he had never challenged or even suggested a drinking contest to Shai before. The giant would drink on rare occasions, mostly in celebrations, but he could do with some tihaar [10] right about now; and Shai could do with getting her mind off her grief, he thought, even if it’d be for just a few hours. They could all do with tihaar right about now.

Although he had respectable tolerance for alcohol, something told him he was going to get absolutely chit-faced tonight. He had never really been drunk before, but if that meant cheering up the old Wardog, then it would be worth the trouble.

Also worth hers and Alora’s teasing he assumed was sure to come in the wake of his drunken self.

Spoiler: Translation

[1] Buy’ce - Helmet.
[2] Manda - The collective soul or heaven .
[3] Si’kahya - The shield and sword of the Enclave, sworn to enforce the Enclave’s will with utmost loyalty, dedication and prowess in combat. Elite commando units.
[4] Ori’vod - Big brother, older brother, special friend.
[5] Alor - Leader, clan chief.
[6] Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la - "Not gone, merely marching far away" (Mandalorian phrase for the departed)
[7] Alor’ad - Captain.
[8] Haran - Hell, literally destruction, cosmic annihilation.
[9] Kov’nyn - Head-butt, also known as Keldabe Kiss.
[10] Tihaar - Alcoholic drink. Strong clear spirit made from fruit, like eau de vie.