Na'an stepped back into half a bow, her eye never leaving his, her left hand clenched tightly in her right. She could feel the warmth of blood seeping between her fingers.
"It's all right," she said quickly, and grabbed for the bottom of her tunic. A quick wrap around would keep the blood off the Emperor's floor.
"They're pretty shallow, and I'm used to handling small stuff like this. I'll just use the refresher outside before I take the tram back, if that's all right."
She bowed again quickly, and made her way back to the office door. She gave the guards a quick nod, but turned back to the Emperor before passing through it back out into the hall. Tacitus was watching her leave with the same inscrutable expression had had maintained throughout their entire conversation. This time, however, for the first time, his golden eye met her silvery grey.
"Thank you again," she said.
"For the proposal."
The door clicked shut between them.
One of the guards at the door had pointed her down the hall towards a private refresher. Na'an kept her pace carefully measured, her face carefully composed as she made her way there, only sparing another glance at the mural. The monstrous faces of the Jedi depicted seemed to follow her down the hall as she walked, while the blank masks of the Empire loomed over
them in judgement. The mural was only barely interrupted by the opening for the refresher; Na'an passed a hand over the panel with a slow, deliberate gesture, walked inside, then closed and sealed it behind her.
Only then did Vidalu Na'an let the whimper trapped behind her lips loose.
What was that?
What was that??
What in the name of the karking gods was that???
She crossed the space between the door and the sink in two steps, all but ripping off the stiff Imperial tunic she was wearing. The undershirt came off quickly after, and Na'an stood before the mirror bare to the waist, breathing hard, twisting her shoulder in a desperate attempt to get a look at her back. What she was looking for was crazy.
Impossible. And of course, it wasn't there. The only marks on her were familiar ones--the far edge of the slice on her shoulder, the blastermarks on her near hip, the starbust-shaped burn scar nestled between her shoulder blades. Old wounds, long since healed over.
But she'd felt it. She
had. At the moment Tacitus had gripped her hands with hers, she'd blinked, and in the course of that blink her brain had been
flooded with agony. there were
stripes of it, like fire lashed once, twice, three times across her back, so sharp and searing she could still feel its echoes stinging across her skin. She touched the space where the first stripe had begun with the tips of her fingers, and winced at the tenderness of it. Even her
flesh was insisting that that pain was real, even if it hadn't left any proof.
And if the pain was real...
Na'an twisted back towards the mirror and pulled back her good eyelid with one finger. Her face was white, glazed with sweat from the strain of controlling herself, but the eye itself was still sharp and clear. She bent double over the sink, gripping the edges of it for balance, and squeezed that eye shut. The breaths she sucked through her teeth smelled like industrial cleaner.
If the pain was real, what about the rest of it? The sensations that had passed through her along with the pain? The smell of heat and dust? The sound of a girl crying? The feeling that the hand in hers was not a hand, but a stone, a weapon, a killing tool?
The sound of a voice as dark as dark, telling her to kill?
It had all been so vivid. It was s
till so vivid that even now, half-naked in the most sterile refresher in Kalidan, she could smell the dust and feel the heat on her skin. She had to shake herself bodily to bring herself back to the present, looking back at her own hard-eyed face in the mirror.
It was impossible, it had to be. There were Force Users who had such abilities to spare--visions, psychometry, mind-reading--but Vidalu Na'an had never been so blessed. She was a failed Padawan, at
best, and the only talents of hers that had ever mattered were those of combat. She shouldn't have been able to
do...whatever that was. Yet here she was, trembling with the strength of a memory that didn't belong to her.
With one of the Eternal Emperor's memories. Tacitus' memory.
What had
happened in there?
What
was this
?