Consent: it ain't rocket surgery

[Harry Trichosia]

Look, I understand that one-up-man-ship is probably some of y'all's only chance to be on top in life. But, can we talk for a second about consent?

If you and another person consent to a particular kind of role play, talking through what you'd like to have happen in role play, don't you think you owe it to both your fellow players and the genre in general to stick with what was consented to?

I'm not saying consent isn't revocable. Sure, you start down a path and, all of a sudden, it wasn't what you thought you were getting. That's when you RP your exit.

"With a nervous laugh, Harry leaves the room, uninterested in doing that."

Now, that's embarrassing. So you might be uncomfortable with just leaving. Or, "leaving" might leave you in the vacuum of space. I'm not going to blame you for being in a ship with no escape pod, alone, with someone who can't keep his karking hands to his fethhead self. That's obviously his fault, not yours.

But what do you do? How do you handle it when someone who clearly consented to a particular kind of RP suddenly goes off script in a bad way, puts his hands on you without asking, et cetera? (Never do this, BTW)

Can you just say, "But it was all a dream! Harry wakes up, laughs about the scary nightmare, and goes back to sleep in his bed" ?

Can you declare the post non-canon?

Can you set fire to the post?

Can you print it out and throw darts at it?

But you shouldn't have to. Everyone should just already know that they need consent to touch you IC.

Just like in real life.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

[member="Harry Trichosia"]

If you're having issues with this, there are several approaches you can take:

1) PM the other writer and ask them to edit their post
2) Should this be met with disagreement, approach an RPJ
3) Deal with it ICly: if another character touches yours without permission, express disgust/contempt etc through your character
4) As you've noted, leave the thread

For the most part, all the writers on the board understand that their are boundaries that it is not polite or appropriate to cross. That noted, sometimes it happens that another writer infringes on your character's personal space, or tries to cut your head off. When that happens, it's fine to find that irritating, but how you deal with that determines whether it escalates into a big deal, or just gets deal with quickly and maturely, so that the RP can go on.

I'm sorry you've met with a situation that has provoked you to such an extent, but try and work through it as best you can. When in doubt, always try to talk to the other writer(s) in the thread, try and clear up where you're having an issue: chances are, they didn't realise they'd done something wrong and offended you, and will happily walk it back. Sometimes that little bit of communication is all it takes.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Harry Trichosia"]
Further, if none of what [member="Tirdarius"] suggests works, report the post.

If the post is breaking any rules, especially concerning PG-13, then you should reported so it can be handled appropriately.

 

[Kami Meran]

watches awaiting any and all backlash. well this is online.

 

[Jsc]

[member="Harry Trichosia"]

I do no consent to all the colors in your post.

 

[Siriwook]

[member="Harry Trichosia"], your feelings are valid and I'm sorry that's happening to you.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Siriwook"]
Excuse me, [member="Harry Trichosia"] is YOUR SUB-ACCOUNT.

So don't try and validate your views by puffing up your own profiles.

That's not only deceitful, it's stupid as well.

We've told you how to resolve this, kindly do not try and milk it.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

[member="Siriwook"]

You're sorry that it's happening to your own alt? :huh:

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

I will also remind everyone that in the general rules:
7. Users will not support their own posts with sub-accounts.

 

[Siriwook]

[member="Valiens Nantaris"] ... I know.... Did you think I wouldn't know you knew I was using my own subaccount?

I'm validating my own feelings because no one else will. Also, I roleplay my characters as different aspects of my personalities. Siriwook is the most empathetic part of me. You think it's stupid. I acknowledge your opinion.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Siriwook"]
I have no words.

I'm closing this topic.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Closed for Archival.