Faction Come What May (SJO)

[Barrien Siegfried]

Every day was a new day and brought new challenges with it.

For Barrien, the new challenge was a return to an old one. He had been taught among the Jedi of the Republic by Grandmaster Corvus Raaf herself. While she was most certainly a more serene Jedi, many of the others at the temple had not been. Fitting inyo such a surrounding had proven difficult for him, especially given his lack of knowledge of most modern technology. Oaken Dawn was something of a lost world. It had been trapped under Imperial rule for many ages and still wasn't freed of their control despite the Empire being long forgotten. Truthfully, he had only barely escaped the world with the help of some smugglers.

Now here he was with the Silver Jedi, hoping to persuade as many of them as he could that the best path forward was one of inner and outer peace. He was certain most would reject it, but he had hope that one among them, at least, would follow in his footsteps, especially with so many young padawans about.

He had chosen the Temple Garden at Silver Rest for the location of the class when he arrived. Nature was where he felt most at home. The temple, thougj magnificent, felt cold and uninviting to him. Word spread by word of mouth would indicate that the Knight was interested in teaching a those willing what he knew of mastering the self and achieving the peace necessary to properly dk the work Jedi were expected to do. No flashy Jedi theatrics about jumping in and fighting to save the day. This was different, and he was eager to see who would come.

 

[Beltran Rarr]

Beltran wandered the gardens of the Silver Rest, feeling more than a little out of place. The former contract killer turned Antarian Ranger, military officer and now burgeoning student of the Force often felt like he was a man apart, but rarely more than he did now.

Ever since his return from Lorrd, his home-world and the revelation that his father had been a Jedi Knight in decades past, Beltran had found it increasingly difficult to focus on his duties. So he'd decided to take a leave of absence from the Antarian Rangers and his personal unit Icarus Platoon. While others fought and died on the borders, defending the Silver Jedi from the Sith and now the Bryn'adul, Beltran had sequestered himself away here on Kashyyyk.

He'd spent every waking hour in communion with his father's Holocron. In that time he'd begun to learn some of the very basic skills force users employed and delved deeper into the philosophies of light and dark than he'd ever expected to go. The holocron's gatekeeper, a ghost of sorts in the image of a father Beltran had never known, had guided him the best it could but he was coming to realize that he would need to search outside himself if he was ever to grow into something more than he had been.

So today, Beltran found himself in the garden approaching a Jedi he didn't recognize and readying himself for a lesson that he could barely comprehend. Peace. It was a concept so foreign to him that it might as well have existed in another dimension.

As he neared the Jedi, Barrien Siegfried , Beltran smoothed out the black t-shirt he wore along with his blue Ranger BDU pants. His muscular arms were pocked and marked with scars from the dozens of battles he'd fought as well as with pieces of the still mysterious cybernetics that had been implanted throughout his body. Where there weren't scars or machinery, there were old faded gang tattoos that bespoke a life of violence and hate.

To be certain, he didn't look like the typical Jedi student. In fact, just about the only thing he had that might mark him as such, was the dented hilt of his father's lightsaber that hung from his black duty belt.

"Excuse me," He said as he came to stand in front of Jedi Seigfried. "Are you the one teaching the class on peace?" His soft voice carried well and belied the awkwardness he was feeling as he introduced himself. "Lieutenant Beltran Rarr, Antarian Rangers, 5th Special Operations Group. Would you mind if I sat in?"

 

[Kyra Perl]

Hop, skip, jump, Kyra came barreling into the class, a bit of fire to her step as she nearly tripped over another padawan waiting patiently on the ground. Jamie Lysle ? No. Dammit. Though that mighta been cool! Geeze this stuff was hella boring. She hoped it wouldn't go to long. Acaadi mentioned laser tag later. Maybe she could get Ura Iolar to hit him with some sand...

"Sorry I'm laaaaaaaaate," she whined, standing up and straightening her robes. "See there was this line in the lunch room and there were these brownies, and its that time of the month you know so I just really needed some brownies. But Acaadi is a brat and took the last one, and then I tried to chase him but I ran into a pole-- and hoy boy, I hate the halls of healing but Amani Serys is like the best ever and-" She rubbed the subtle bump on her head, her hair frizzy and flustered.

"You'renotgonnatellmyMasterareyou,hegonnakickemeout." A massive exaggeration, but her perspective of it rang true, her eyes watering in distress.

 

[Ura Iolar]

Ura was a little slow at walking into the class, and honestly it was probably surprising that the Lervon would be here. She usually tried to at least act calm, but.... Recently she'd just been having trouble with it. It was like she just knew something was going on, or something like that. Maybe it was the hunting class giving her a little reminder that she was pretty different from the others, or just her being worried about the Bryn as they continued their march. Whatever it was, the sand-like being figured she needed this. And then Kyra came running in.

Ura couldn't help but chuckle just a little, shaking her head.

Kyra Perl Beltran Rarr Barrien Siegfried

 

[Serena Rylvin]

Calmness is important to a Jedi. Peace. Center yourself.

She wasn't sure who'd told her that. Something that she'd overheard when she'd been picked up and packed off to the Order. Honestly though, before she'd met any Jedi, Serena would have called herself calm. Collected. It wasn't like she had trouble focusing on anything. Though really, she reasoned, it wasn't exactly peaceful. When she studied, it was more like forceful determination. She willed the information into her mind through wordless threat and bright-eyed intimidation. That probably wasn't the right attitude to bring to her new life.

There was also the other consideration: she was green as all heck. She was still working out her bearings in this strange place. She was still coming to grips with the thought that she, Serena, could be a Jedi of all things. Nerdy girl with her head stuck in a holobook most of her life. Little refugee brat done good. There were classes and trips out to learn all sorts of things. Lightsaber fighting styles (she didn't have a saber yet), different Force powers (she could just about make a kitchen utensil fling to her hand purposefully... though that often lead to accidents) and things that barely fit in her imagination. Better to start with something like inner peace. Maybe.

She stepped into the gardens just as the other girl launched into a breathless tumble of words. She stood with her eyes wide, trying to take it all in. Decoding it took way longer than it should have. Serena looked around at the small, assembled group before stepping forwards, just a little ways past the frizzy-haired girl.

"Hi. I guess this is the Inner Peace class? Sorry I'm a little late." She offered a thin smile to everyone else. "Place is like a maze, right?"

Barrien Siegfried Beltran Rarr Kyra Perl Ura Iolar

 

[Barrien Siegfried]

There was movement and then a man ( Beltran Rarr ) appeared dressed as though he were a member of the military. Had he not registered a signature in the Force it wouldn't have mattered as the class was for anyone who wished to participate. Finding peace certainly didn't require that one be able to call upon the Force. In fact it seemed more common among those who did not practice it. Naturally the man was welcome and Barrien motioned towards the area around them which offered plenty of seating choices.

"Please do, Lieutenant. All are welcome," he said, offering a smile.

A smile which quickly turned to amusement with the arrival of Kyra Perl . She was quite the spirited young lady from what he could gather. She was quite worried that she was late and that he would tell her master. Well, she needn't worry. He reached out a hand and clasped her shoulder, allowing a calming feeling to spread through the touch.

"Relax, padawan. You aren't in trouble. Please take a seat, and perhaps a few deep breaths while you are at it."

Ura Iolar had already arrived by this time. A curious being to Barrien who had not experienced as much of the galaxy as most had. How a being made of sand could live was beyond him, but he would not ask. She seemed calmer than her fellow padawan, though there was a note of wprry about her. It was to be expected. Most people had something that troubled them and that was why his teaching was important. To bring peace to the galaxy they must first find peace within themselves.

Last to arrive was Serena Rylvin. The curly-haired lass at least seemed somewhat happy to be there. She did have a point about the gardens. It was a bit of a maze. He motioned for everyone to sit and then did the same himself.

"I bid you all welcome and I am happy that you are here. My name is Barrien Siegfried. I hail from a relatively little known world called Oaken Dawn. Before I came to the Silver Jedi I served in the Republic and was the pupil of Grandmaster Corvus Raaf. I would like for us to start by sharing our names, especially as you are all new to me. Once I can put names to faces we will discuss the journey that finding peace entails."

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Shifting in my seat, I realized I was probably in more need of this class than most. Even though I am already the rank of knight, there is still darkness that flows through me. Being only sixteen didn't help either. Ever since I was possessed as a child, life has never been the same. Semi-raising my hand, the words came from my mouth.

"Hi. I'm Okkeus."

Putting my hand down, I waited for his reply. I wondered, could he sense the darkness still inside of me?

Barrien Siegfried
Beltran Rarr
Kyra Perl
Ura Iolar
Serena Rylvin

 

[Beltran Rarr]

Beltran nodded his thanks to Barrien Siegfried and took one of the empty seats as a few others began to arrive. He tried to relax himself a little, but this foray onto the Jedi path had the Lorrdian on edge.

Peace is a lie.

The thought came unbidden in a familiar voice, that of the Jester. It had been some time since his alter-ego had surfaced high enough in his psyche to voice something. He glanced around briefly, glad to confirm that the monstrous clown thing that haunted his dreams hadn't actually manifested visually. In the years since he'd left Lorrd, he'd learned how to keep the other facets of his broken mind at bay most of the time.

Work, discipline and especially pain kept his mind sharp and occupied. It had always been the quiet that had been his true enemy. Luckily for Beltran, the quiet would be interrupted very quickly by the sudden arrival of the red-headed ball of energy and destruction ( Kyra Perl ) as she nearly fell over one of the other students.

Beltran sat back, regarding the young woman with a raised eyebrow as she explained/rambled out an excuse for being late. She seemed vaguely familiar to the Lieutenant, and he was reasonably sure that he'd heard her voice before. Kintan perhaps? He wondered to himself. Wasn't she one of the Padawans who'd been touring the Fortress when the Sith attacked?

He mentally shrugged, that was probably it. He blamed the fact that he'd been grievously wounded multiple times during that battle for the haziness of his memory. By now a few others had arrived as well. Ura Iolar was by far the most conspicuous. Beltran was also reasonably sure he'd seen the being in passing once or twice. The others that arrived (Serena Rylvin and Okkeus Dainlei ) were new to the Beltran, that much his was confident in.

As the class settled in and Barrien Siegfried introduced himself and gave a little of his background, he then asked the group to go around and introduce themselves. One of the younger ones introduced himself as Okkeus, his body language giving off very much the same kind of awkwardness that Beltran felt. There was also something else about the kid, something that Beltran found familiar.

Raising his own hand, the Lieutenant glanced around the group as he spoke. "Beltran Rarr," He said simply, deciding to forgo his rank and station with the Antarian Rangers. He then settled back in his seat and watched attentively as the class progressed.

 

[Kyra Perl]

Huff, puff, huff-Kyra took quick, sharp breaths, looking once at the short haired girl and dubbing her friend. "Yeah. It's such a maze-- hardly our fault." She tossed over her shoulder, quickly walking Serena Rylvin away. "Good one, I should use that," she murmured under her breath. She glanced once backwards, making sure they were clear of further reprimanding. The instructor had been more than understanding, but Kyra didn't buy it! Inside every adult was a teacher ready to chastize!

Serena's arm was released just in time to plop down.

Kyra leaned forward, gave Ura Iolar a sharp 'wavewave', and then sat back in an attempt to act like a good student.

She squirmed.

 

[Serena Rylvin]

Serena looked around at the assembled group as the instructor spoke. He seemed okay. Maybe a little more... serene than the usual kind of teacher but hey, this was a class about inner peace. Besides, he was a Jedi. And weren't they all supposed to be about being all calm and stuff? It definitely made a different experience to Serena's last experiences of teachers. Mrs Xaldoria had a tongue that'd lash the skin straight off your back if you got an equation wrong...

Then, the red-haired girl replied to her. Then she grabbed her arm. Serena looked at her, slightly mystified before walking with her. Feeling faintly like she'd just been used as an excuse for something. Still, it couldn't hurt to have someone to talk to. She seemed pretty okay, even if she acted like someone had wired her up to a hyperdrive.

"I was being honest! Couldn't find anything in that mess," Serena whispered to Kyra Perl as they took their seats. Serena sat cross-legged, looking around as everyone announced themselves.

"Hi, I'm Serena," she began, waving towards Barrien Siegfried and feeling kinda stupid about it. "Serena Rylvin. I'm... new." She gave a shrug and a half-smile at that. Wasn't much else to say.

 

[Ura Iolar]

Kyra Perl Barrien Siegfried Serena Rylvin Beltran Rarr Okkeus Dainlei

Ura's eyes seemed to brighten up, and a hint of happiness caught her as waved back at Kyra. She honestly hoped her empath friend hadn't noticed she was worried. Then again she couldn't just hide how she felt, so... Dang it! The Lervon got chuckled from Kyra and another padawan's talk though. She said her name was Serena when the class started. At least Ura wouldn't have to guess what people's names were. It was also then the sand-like being realized something. She still had to say her own name. She looked around, just hoping people didn't mind the lack of emotion in her voice.

"Oh.... I'm Ura. Ura Iolar."

 

[Barrien Siegfried]

He listened as each in turn spoke their name, all except for @kyrawho was too wound up from the sugar she ate to even sit still. Barrien had heard tell of her even in the short time he had been there. Now he could understand the frustrations of the other teachers. Despite that, he was certain she would be a good student, or at least try to be, and he was determined to help those gathered.

"Thank you for that," he said nodding to all. "Ms. Perl is a little wound up but I'm sure most of you know Kyra, or have heard of her, at least."

Just a tiny little fun poked in her direction. Always helped to ease any tension that people might be feeling, especially given the gravity of what he was there to teach. It was an oft overlooked aspect of the code, or at least it was solely focused on the external. His Master had taught him many things about the nature of the Force, but it was her teachings on the nature of the galaxy as a whole that had really helped him. The ancient struggle with his past actions no longer bothered him.

"You sit in a group of friends and as we are friends we will not judge anyone. You may speak freely here, I only ask that you be polite."

He folded his legs up and rested his hands on his knees.

"You have each chosen to come to this training undoubtedly because you feel you need it. I want you to know that this feeling is okay to have and you are not lesser for recognizing that you need this. Part of the code of the Jedi is that there is no emotion, there is peace. Many attribute this to not developing attachments and that we are to be stoic guardians of the galaxy and champions of peace for all. For some this may be true, but that is a choice they make.

"What the code actually refers to is that each of us has emotions that swell and vie for control in us. Some more than others. But if we learn to control those emotions, we can find peace within ourselves, and through that peace we can better help others. It is our duty tonplace others above ourselves, but emotion guides us to place ourselves above others. Mastering your emotions without extinguishing them, learning to resolve them, is key to finding peace.

"I want each of you to close your eyes and thing of the worst moment in your life. I want you to see it in every detail, no matter how much it hurts you. Do not fear if it becomes too much, I will be here for you. Once you have that I want you to try to push it away with a happy memory. Our pasts are the key to our future. Mastering it helps you deal with other adversity."

Okkeus Dainlei Ura Iolar Beltran Rarr Serena Rylvin

 

[Aurelion Nova]

OBJECTIVE - Be Calm


Where: Silver Rest Gardens
Why: A much needed training session
Wearing/Wielding: Fate & Robes
When: A little late
With: Kyra Perl Barrien Siegfried Ura Iolar Serena Rylvin Beltran Rarr Okkeus Dainlei

If there was one class that Aurelion needed more than any other it would no doubt be one focused on centering and calming himself in the midst of Chaos and strife. Which, coincidentally, was the natural weather forecast for how the state his mind was usually in. Shuffling awkwardly into the class as Master Barrien began to speak Aurelion sheepishly took a place kneeling beside Kyra Perl and Serena Rylvin since if there was one thing you could trust Kyra for it was to not want to be caught by an adult. Which, also meant Aurelio could quietly avoid making too much of a scene as he knelt down in place.

As Master Barrien spoke about his interpretation of the first line of the Jedi Code Aurelion nodded slowly. Taking these words to heart Aurelion gave Kyra and Serena a small, sheepish wave as a dusky blush formed on his cheeks and nose, his elongated ears drooping timidly before he rested his hand on his knees in the same manner Barrien did, closed his singular eye, and began to try and center himself. Drawing in a deep, slow breathe, only to freeze at Barrien's instructions. His eye opening in alarm as he bite his lip.

Was.... there a worst moment in his life? He shuddered as he remembered the terrible things that had happened to him, what he had been through, and quickly realized that none of them stood out as any worse than the others. They were all.... terrible things he wished hadn't happened equally. He tensed as he thought about the vague, phantoms pains of the beatings, the words still echoing in his ears as he grit his teeth. Of all the things to begin the class he needed most.... this request was both cruel and appropriate.

Steeling himself, Aurelion closed his eyes again and gathered the Force around him as best he could, and decided to focus on a memory he had already experienced with Juno instead. A memory of being trapped in darkness, of being alone and forgotten, a memory that still hurt but now.... much less. That same, squeezing, crushing feeling of emotion weighed down on him as before but now.... now he found he could contain that pain. Could slowly relax the tension from his body bit by bit until, slowly, it melted away in a sense of calm and near-tired exhaustion as he let the memory go. A single, cracked fissure in his psyche finally healing as Aurelion approached the eye of the storm that was his inner turmoil.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Sitting there, the haunting memory entered my mind. I was back on Kricelos, training with the Sith spirit. Our red blades crashed as she was pushing me past my limit. As I struck downward she dodged, then cut my left forearm off. The pain was so intense.

“You are weak! You will never become powerful enough.”

The anger flew through me. Standing back up, I swung at her wildly.

“Good, use your hate. Use your anger. You are becoming a true Sith.”

I opened my eyes. Sitting there in the classroom, sweat started to collect on my forehead. Shaking, I looked down at my robotic arm. Closing my eyes, I tried to think of happy thoughts.

Barrien Siegfried
Kyra Perl
Aurelion Nova
Serena Rylvin
Ura Iolar
Beltran Rarr

 

[Beltran Rarr]

Beltran let out a slow breath as the words of Barrien Siegfried began to register with him. The truth was, he would have preferred to face down an army of charging Sith abominations than do what he'd just been asked to do. To reflect, on a life of slaughter and death and then somehow to find the very worst of it all. There wasn't much that scared the Lorrdian, but in this moment he was terrified.

Taking another long, slow breath, he allowed his eyes to close. He tried not to direct his thoughts and instead focused on just following whatever path his psyche took...

The breeze in New Shallos was always hot, and the dust was always in his eyes. No matter how many times his wiped them, his seven-year old hands just couldn't get the grit out. He moved slowly, shambling from doorway to doorway, trying to find shelter from the sand storm. His feet hurt from walking, and his back hurt from the strap. It had been two days since he left the Orphanage, for what he promised himself would be the last time, and the welts that covered him hadn't even begun to heal yet.

Sitting in a doorway, some time later-though he's not sure how long, he lets his swollen and irritated eyes close. Maybe he can sleep, just a little before the sun goes down and the gangers come out. Maybe...

"Rrrrrrrggggh?"

Something furry nudges his little hand and Beltran looks down to see a purrkit. Barely more than a kitten, nuzzling in close to him. Probably also trying to get away from the sand, he figures. He doesn't say anything, but allows the kit to stay with him. His eyes droop and soon he is asleep.

"Well, what we got here?" A voice croaks, waking Beltran. "Little bitty Beltran with his little bitty kitty."

Beltran looks up. The sun is gone now and the doorway is illuminated by a nearby street lamp. Three tat-gangers stand over him, their faces backlit so he can't see them. But he knows who they are. These are their streets, and Beltran wasn't supposed to be here. He slept too long and now they had him. He just watches them and doesn't say anything. Really, there is nothing to say what will alter what happens next.

"Rrrrrrrggggh?" His kit murmurs, poking it's little fuzzy head up from where it lay. The gangers laugh, it isn't a very nice sound.

"Guess we eatin' purrkit tonnite boys."

This time, Beltran does speak.

"No."

Looking down and to the right, he finds what he was looking for. His pipe. A long cylindrical piece of durasteel, ripped off a construction site two blocks from here. His little fingers grip it unsteadily and the tat-gangers laugh as he pushes his little feet underneath him and stands to face them. Later, his kit will run off into the darkness while Beltran stands over the bodies of the gangers, the first people that he would kill.

But not the last.

Beltran struggles to maintain control over himself, fights the feeling of smallness and helplessness that threatens to engulf him. He remembers Jedi Siegfried's words, push it away with something happy.

Perhaps ironically, Beltran is back in his doorway huddled against the sandstorm. His purrkit nuzzled into his side and purring softly. The sun is still up, the gangers nowhere in sight. It is the one time that Beltran can ever remember feeling like he belonged. Regardless of the horror that would come later, he allows himself to soak up this feeling and finds that the more he lets this feeling in, the less room he has for the hate and pain of what comes after...

His eyes open once more and he is back with the others in the gardens of the Silver's Rest. He doesn't try to speak.

He just sits there, feeling.

A single tear rolls down his cheek, and he doesn't wipe it away.

Barrien Siegfried
Kyra Perl
Aurelion Nova
Serena Rylvin
Ura Iolar

 

[Ura Iolar]

Another bout of worry came off of Ura as she was told to think of the worst time of her life. The worse time.... What was the worse thing that had ever happened to her? There was the crash down to Toydaria. She wasn't just scared for herself then. She was scared for everyone. She remembered elders describing how being melted felt during the Imperial days. Back during the Galactic Civil War. Her crystal structure shifted and slide as she remember this, and fear struck her hard. She shook a little as she thought. She was scared of stormtroopers too, but this.... This shook her.

She opened her eyes a little, two glowing green slits. She tried to get her mind off of it now. The second part was something happy.... But her mind kept going back. Blast it! She had to think, but she also didn't want anyone to know how afraid she really was, but she couldn't just stop her emotions from showing through the Force. She just.... Gah!

Ura finally managed to calm down enough to think. The happiest moment of her life.... What was it? Hearing that she would training as a Padawan? Maybe rebuilding the Razor-Tail. Her friends? Getting Ger'Off when she was younger? No..... Definitely her friends. She tried to focus on them. All of them. Her mind finally began to calm as she thought more, swinging to a more towards those happy times. She opened her eyes more. Letting out a little sigh.

Kyra Perl Barrien Siegfried Serena Rylvin Beltran Rarr Okkeus Dainlei Aurelion Nova

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra squirmed as she was called out. No doubt the Kyra of two months ago would have melted into an embarrassed huff than and there. More than a few stern talking toes by Caedyn Arenais had slowly driven that habit from her. Or at least, made her think twice before falling back into it. The rest of the class gave a good natured laugh, and for the first time Kyra was able to melt back on her heels while looking only mildly miffed.

He was right. She was here for a reason. She tried to keep that reason at the front of her mind as he spoke, but her anxiety had a way of bubbling under the surface. For a split moment, she bared the hope that he could help her overcome that. And then came his instructions, and her anxiety went spiking. Ah chit. Bring to light the worse memories of her life? She squirmed, deeply uncomfortable but obedient as she closed her eyes. She was determined for once to make strides in a class. One might even say she was being remarkably well behaved.

She took a deep breath, trying to relax past her fears and into her thoughts. And that's when everyone else's emotions hit her. Her lips parted, caught in a silent gasp as moments of pain... dread... darkness pulled into each of her peers mind. The little empath couldn't help back to take it all on, overwhelmed at once as she felt like she was melting...

A pipe in her hand...

The fort walls crashed down, her own nightmare came forward unbidden, the padawan unable to discern herself from the emotions she absorbed. Voices whispered through her mind, rushing-- Laughter-- now quite-- utterly alone, dark-- a cat meowing-- metal slamming into temples-- metal crashing into swamp--

Acaadi's screams,
Acaadi's cries,
Join us-

"No!" Her eyes snapped open as a scream rang through the air, vibrating against her ears... She panted in distress, her mouth snapping closed as she realized the noise had pulled from her chest. She gave the teacher a wild look, pulsing with fear.

 

[Serena Rylvin]

Serena shrugged and closed her eyes. She was here because she was new, not because she was tortured or desperate or anything. How could she learn the ways of the Jedi if she wasn't truly at peace with herself? There wasn't much she was bothered about, right? A perfectly normal person. Totally at peace.

What's my worst memory? she asked herself, as if she didn't already know. Thinking back years and years. Flashing back through years in school, years in a home, years of institutional existence and presence...

Snatched thoughts from years ago, scabbed over with time. Serena visibly winced as she thought about them again, properly and firmly, for the first time in many, many years. She could see it perfectly, as if it was on a screen or her datapad. She could hear the constant, worried chatter. She could even... even smell...

Smell the rust and fumes in the air. The deepest parts of the camp where she'd ended up. Woke up after a starship collision in the atmosphere, two days afterwards. They'd managed to land the ship but half the hull had caved in. Where were her parents? What'd happened? The beeping of the machines and the stink of the bacta. Worried whispers from overworked medical personnel. Thousands upon thousands of others, dressed in dirty rags and filth-splattered robes, hollow eyes from fleeing the worst of the violence.

The way she sat up in the bed, the way she screamed out wordlessly, desperately searching for her family. For her dad. How they sedated her and when she woke up, he still wasn't there. Nobody was there, just the anonymous, faceless churn of the crowds outside and masked medics. Endless waiting, hoping, dreaming. Imagining the reunion and what they'd do, the relief that'd wash over her... the feeling that never came.

She was shaking a little. Her breathing was quick and tense. Her eyelids fluttered gently as the thoughts rushed through, vivid and blinding. There was...

A scream. And then Serena's eyes forced open and she was back in the room, her ears throbbing slightly from the scream coming from next to her. Kyra Perl The anxiety and despair was shoved down from her chest, into the deepest pits of her stomach, as she leaned in closer.

"Kyra! You okay? You're here, it's fine, you're safe," she said quickly, looking worried at her fellow padawan.

 

[Barrien Siegfried]

Well, it was going about how he expected. What he had asked of them was a very difficult thing to do, so the idea of them getting it on the first try was a bit of a reach. Some did better than others. That was normal. Some did worse than others. Some did such that they actually worried him a little bit. One such was Okkeus Dainlei who gave Barrien a shiver as he complied with the request. That sense was associated with darkness and a place that was not such where a Jedi belonged.

"Relax," he said as he stood and stepped around the circle. "You are all safe here. Use that knowledge as a tether."

He paused near Okkeus and crouched beside him, speaking in a soft, gentle voice.

"That call you feel is not real. It is the past and you can resist it. Remember why you are here, why you are a Jedi. Focus on something that gives you happiness and let it wash away the dark. Remember, the past is the past and it only defines us if we let it."

Rising again, he continued around the circle. Beltran seemed to make it througb mostly unscathed, though the tear betrayed him. Ura did well. As did, seemingly, their late arrival, Aurelion Nova . He was about to chexk on Syreena when Kyra let out a scream and a feelingnof intense fear washed iver him as he felt her aura in the Force. She was struggling and dangerously so. Similar to Okkeus, though he seemed in better control than she did. He stopped in front of her and crouxhed down.

"Everyone else please continue the exercise, but ask yourself why you still remember that painful memory so vividly. Question it. Try to figure out the why and absolve it. Peace can come from forgiveness, even of yourself."

Looking Kyra in the eyes even as he talked, he reached out and placed both hands on her shoulders, offering both a physical support and emotional one. In the Force he allowed a warmth to flow from his hands to her, trying to help calm her. Empath's always had the hardest time if they couldn't control their ability. He knew from experience, but not to her level.

"You are safe, Kyra. Close your mind to whst is around you, like building walls. Only your thoughts and memories and feelings exist, not those of anyone else. Just you. Everyone else is empty to your mind, there is only you and me. Walls protect. Walls are safe. Walls contain your abilities unless you open a window, a window you can control. When you have those walls, I want you to try again."

 

[Beltran Rarr]

"No!"

Beltran's eyes came open as the girl's ( Kyra Perl ) scream filled the air. In an instant the soldier was on his feet, his body coiled and ready for combat. With practiced efficiency, he scanned the room looking for the source of the threat and intending to put himself between it and the rest of the class. His hand clutched for his blaster, only to feel the metallic cylinder of his lightsaber's hilt in it's place.

It didn't take long for Beltran to figure out that there was no threat, only the fear of a young, overwhelmed girl. Letting out a breath, the Lorrdian allowed the tension to ease from him and he settled back down in a seated position. He looked over to where Serena Rylvin and now Jedi Barrien Siegfried spoke to Kyra Perl .

The two of them seemed to be handling the situation well enough, so he focused his mind on Jedi Siegfried's next instruction.

On the surface, his memory seemed fairly straightforward. Bad people had tried to hurt him and take what was his, so he killed them. In his view, there really wasn't much to forgive here. He'd done what he'd had to in order to survive, right?

No, He mentally admonished himself. It's more than that, and you know it. You had to hurt them, yes, in order to protect yourself. But did you have to kill them? Maybe, maybe not. But it never even entered your mind to show mercy. You killed them because you wanted to kill them, and what's worse, you liked doing it. Killing them made you feel powerful, in control, maybe for the first time ever. And after, when the other gangers heard what you did, they left you alone. They feared you, and you liked that too. Didn't you?

DIDN'T YOU!!

"Yes," Beltran murmured out loud, responding verbally to his mind. "I liked it...I like it."

Beltran blew out a breath and blinked, focusing his eyes. He sat there, quietly, wondering how if could ever find peace when he'd taken, and still took, such enjoyment from hurting his enemies.