Private Chasing Stars & Stellar Winds

[Kaile Vera]

OUTER RIM TERRITORIES
ABRION SECTOR
RISHI SYSTEM
R I S H I


Kaile was ill. Again. With one hand pulling her bright pink hair away from her face, the Lorrdian lurched over the toilet and prayed, in fluid and fervent Basic, for death to take her.

There was a distinct clucking sound behind her, almost as if in pity. Bujak opened his beak, heaving a sigh, the great avian Rishii moving forward to hand her a glass of water.

A small hand came up, waving it aside, as another heavy lurch made her gag anew, dry heaving back onto the bowl. Just off to the right, tiny little scattering black claws went scaling up her leg, over her thigh, then up her back, precariously perching in a risky balance as twin black beady eyes against a emerald blue face would stare up at Kaile in concern.

That stinging sensation followed by the numbness of returning to the ysalamri bubble Bobo emanated was a small blessing. At least she didn’t feel everything. Even then, the numbness wasn’t enough. Now, it was worse. Far worse.

“This is a sickness. You should see the chief. He will give you a good set of herbs he will. Trust in Bujak,” a thickly feathered hand-tipped wing gave a small pat of the bright pink hair as if to offer comfort.

“I’ll.. be fine,” Kaile said, gasping, wiping the chapped lips with the back of her hand. Right now, she was just trying to focus on her breathing. On maintaining the steady in and out draw. A trembling hand came up, moving to press the button that would automatically flush the contents of her breakfast away.

“I told you not to eat those Nemane fruits. They didn’t look good, no, not at all.” Stars, Kaile hoped it had just been the fruit. It had to be the fruit. Along her ear, Bobo gave a soft nuzzle. Ever since she’d returned to Rishi and rejoined her tiny lizard friend, things had been a little easier. Not better, not great. Easier. It didn’t stop her from the silent sobbing; that was a skill she’d well perfected. It also didn’t halt the constant desire to try and ping or narrow down where Asmus might be. Nor did it prevent the Lorrdian from replaying every word exchanged and not saying the last day they were together on Suravi before she left him behind.

Yeah, left him behind -- she could still remember the pain in his eyes.

Closing her red-rimmed, watery eyes, the Lorrdian brought shaky hands up to push her hair away from her face.

“Give me five… I’ll be out on the line shortly.”

Bujurk gave a shake of his head. “No, no. Do not come out. People will think the food is bad and will leave then no pay!”

“Bujak, we barely have five people come over for a meal,” Kaile replied, exhaling. Where was that glass of water, one lid rose, squinting at the area around her. Ah, there. Bujak had it in his hand. A weary wave of fingers and she motioned for him to give it to her.

“They are still paying customers!” he said it without a single indignant tone, more as if happily cheerful to have that much. The Rishii were a friendly and accepting species, known to live in small groups known as nests, which existed in harmony with each other and any non-Rishii neighbors they encountered.

“Bujak… you tend to give the food away…” came the half mutter, the irony of his words practically palatable.

“You stay here. Rest. I’ll work the line.” just then, a distinct jingle rang from the front entrance of the small restaurant.

“Oh! A customer! “ Bujak practically flew from the rear of the primitive backroom out into the front. Meanwhile, Bobo remained nuzzling Kaile, who had already carefully adjusted herself so that she was leaning against the wall. The nausea had only just begun a few days ago. Bujak said it was the fruit. She was hoping that it was just that.

Praying. It was only that.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Jay clanked along behind him, never straying more than a few steps away. The droid was now free of his restraining bolt, but those safeguarding protocols were still in place. Asmus had coughed last week and the droid had rushed to get the emergency resuscitation kit.

They had dug deep through his protocols with a friendly expert. There was nothing additional there that Asmus could see would cause him a concern. No overrides to take action if Asmus did anything in particular. That didn't mean Kaile hadn't hidden something deep.

There was something she hadn't tried to hide very well at all. The moment it had bloomed into life he had touched Eriadu and sat back as the music played. The slicer had watched in confusion as the young smuggler seemed to swing between laughing in joy and breaking down in desperation.

The hangar deck was a mess. Several damaged vessels were being repaired out in the open. There were scorch marks where a ship must have ignited after landing.

It was Vo who emerged from one of the side corridors to greet them with Max tagging along. How different this was to his first arrival here. He had been filled with optimism then, becoming part of a new capability for a fight with the First Order that would be based on countering propaganda and espionage. In the end it was the Sith who had unravelled the Alliance from within. Even Amadgenar’s attitude couldn’t bring him back down on that day.

“Where is Miss Vera?” Vo asked. Asmus knew sullustans well enough to recognise the strain on his face, the lines of concern.

“She went into hiding.”

“Good.” Palpable relief. The sullustan let his shoulders drop a fraction. “Why are you not with her?”

“She decided to send me elsewhere,” Asmus replied firmly. “Wouldn’t tell me where she went.”

“It’s bad Asmus,” Max finally interrupted. “It’s good to see you, but… Well. We tangled with a cruiser. Ro’venna didn’t make it. Not got much fuel left. That hidden tanker we’re picking up now won’t give us many jumps. We’ve barely got fumes of starfighter fuel left. The briefing yesterday they were talking about scuttling the ship to stop her falling into the wrong hands.”

“Why are you here Asmus?” Vo asked.

Asmus galvanised his resolve once again. The news of the twi’leks death hurt, but there would be a time to mourn. He looked at Vo. “Could you issue a recall to bring her back?” he asked.

To his surprise Vo barked a brief laugh. The sullustan shook his head. “They always give me hassle when Kaile gets sent away.”

“They?” Asmus asked, tilting his head to one side.

Vo ignored the question. “I can’t issue a recall notice. Nor am I going to tell you how to do so. It wouldn’t be safe.”

Asmus sighed. There went one plan.

“How did you even find us?” Max asked. Asmus smiled.



Thousands upon thousands of tiny white tendrils snaked across the map. Asmus turned it slowly. This was the eighth iteration of the simulation. It was the map within J4KN that had provided the stimulation to throw himself at the work. Kairon had invaluable, pre-Gulag star charts. They weren’t as detailed as those produced by the SIS for the Alliance border space, but they were a start. He had to lay down the fuel pods the Alliance hid in deep space from memory, the routes he knew the Subversion travelled well.

Each little path was semi-transparent. Where they crossed or multiple lines were overlaid upon each other they became brighter, thicker. Asmus looked to those nodes where multiple simulations repeatedly placed the Subversion at the same place at the same time. He needed to narrow it down to a small number of possibilities.

A few tendrils shifted. A small update that created even more nodes. Time changed everything. Since that day time had tempered the resentment he had felt when Kaile had tried to decide what was best for him. Over time he had learned that people did that for him because they cared. Because he wasn’t always cautious. Kaile cared for him. She loved him.

He missed her.

But he needed less, not more possibilities. Even if the entire Smuggler’s Alliance was brought in to help - and in reality there were only a few he trusted - there were too many locations. He decided to put a hold in the work. The blue lines faded, replaced with a few red dots.

There were few of these, but he needed more. The opposite problem. One marked where a ship similar to the Solaris had been seen. Probably with a buyer or intermediary aboard. Others were potential hiding places he had made educated guesses for. He was working to the assumption she was still in the Rim but Jay had categorically stated that he would neither confirm nor deny any working theories.

There was a lot of work still to be done, but Asmus had never been so driven.

 

[Kaile Vera]

After half an hour, Kaile slowly drew herself up. Bobo instinctively would move along with her uneasy transition until she was on her feet again. Blinking, Kaile brought the half-empty glass of water back up to her mouth, needing to swish it around to get the acrid taste of vomit out of it. Spitting it back out into the toilet, another flush and Kaile gave a haggard exhale.

A small nuzzle of the ysalamiri along her neck, and Kaile gave a weak smile. "Hey, I'll be fine. Just an upset stomach." a finger came up to scratch him right behind the crown of his head. Drawing her gaze up, Kaile caught sight of the hanging mirror alongside the branch and log wall where it hung. The Rishii used pretty much whatever they could find to decorate their nests. It was more like a series of makeshift twig huts along the trees. They lived in the mountains, away from the lowlands of the swamps and grottos that the smugglers and pirates enjoyed so much.

All the better, for while the Rishii were extraordinarily friendly, their distance from smuggler watering holes such as Coratanni Cove and Raiders Cove meant that the Lorrdian was well out of sight from curious eyes.

She'd arrived here about five weeks ago, wretched from lack of sleep and unable to eat. Deep melancholy made the woman lose a few pounds of weight and she swore she cried enough for there not to be any water left in her body.

There was no selling of the Solaris. Doing so now would flag her. In the end, her route through the Asteroids, Drexl, and Ryloth brought her to Rishi. Here, the fleeing agent found a small out-of-the-way beach cavern among the dozens scattered. It was large enough for her to set the Solaris down out of sight, although high tide would cover the entrance and flow against the lower struts. Saltwater would eventually do damage, but with the local sensor dampening ores, the Solaris would stay out of sight.

Sky Ridge Island would provide more than one way to disappear from the 'verse. Kaile came here for more than just that one reason. She'd met Bujak almost over a decade ago. He was a native of the planet, a Rishii, who would loom over her and by far was the friendliest, most open-hearted individual she'd ever met. Bujak's entire nest was the same. She'd operated alongside them during one of the many iterations of the Rebellion. It was Bujak whom Kaile had ultimately trusted to take care of Bobo in her absence, and here he had undoubtedly flourished if a little thicker along the middle.

Bujak hadn't asked her questions when she came late that night. Both he and Bobo welcomed her with excitement, a fresh bowl of food, and tight embraces. Warmth. Affection. Concern. Yet it didn't replace what her heart and soul dreadfully missed. In every action, in every breath, Kaile couldn't stop thinking about Asmus. Guilt was a heavyweight against her broken heart, as was the constant concern of where he would be and if he was alright. Her only consolation was that Jay would be with him.

For now, Kaile would remain here. She was as safe as she could be with all the precautions she'd taken. There was still always a risk, but this isolated and deep into Confederacy territory, Kaile figured that it would at least deter any potential Sith Empire or First Order Agents. Going against the Alliance was one thing; starting a feud with another government entity was another.

"--do eat. Yes, do eat. " Kaile heard Bujak's distinct encouragement coming from the front end of the room. When Bujak visited Raider's Cove, he became so entranced over how people enjoyed coming to eat in one place. He was always so curious, and from Kaile, he'd learned that people would be far more willing to talk and answer his questions if they had their belly full along with some alcohol with it.

Which is why he'd decided to build a large nest of three to try and mimic the same design. It reminded Kaile more of a beach resort shack, with an open view to the beach below and covered areas with thatch and saplings holding it all together. He'd decorated it with what he could scavenge and find. It was an eclectic mix of tribal decorations, handmade textiles, a few metal plaques, an electric string of colorful lights, and some strategically placed tiki torches that Bujak had agonized over their perfect placement for almost a week.

It was the middle of nowhere, and it was hard to let go. But there was a somewhat sense of peace with it even if her soul felt as if it had been wrenched apart.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“That sounds like a lot of work,” Max said with a shake of his head.

Vo remained silent. Kaile was charming, it was one of her main assets. But this was the second time it had brought him trouble, he thought to himself in amusement. Kurt had chased down his superior to find Kaile and then there had been the pressure put upon him to find Kaile new work whilst she was pregnant. That was the secret he had nearly strayed too close to. It had been a long few weeks and he wasn’t at his best.

“Amadgenar so pissed he won’t even come and talk to me?” Asmus asked.

“We made him rest,” Max said. “He’s been almost living off the bridge from the start.”

Asmus nodded. There was a difference between liking someone and respecting them. He would never see eye to eye with the captain but he was almost the perfect man to command a crew through a crisis. He turned towards the Sullustan.

“Can you give me anything?” he asked quietly.

Vo fixed Asmus with a stare. Kurt had held this fierce determination when trying to look after Kaile. It was different with Asmus. It was a colder, more calculating thing. Along with his rank it potentially made him even more troublesome.

“A letterbox. I will consider giving you access.” It was the best the Commander was getting now. If Kaile still had holonet access then there were codes to use for certain holo-blogs to leave messages. He didn’t want to tell Asmus that the chances were that Kaile would take the Flashfire notice seriously and wouldn’t make a sound for some time. He didn’t want to see how Asmus would look. There was a part of him that was also curious to see just what the young Wind Commander would do next.

“You should have stayed in hiding Asmus,” Max said again. “We’re almost spent, we might all be going into hiding. I don’t think there is anything for you here.”

Asmus wasn’t looking back at him. His gaze had drifted across the docking bay floor to a familiar shape. “Jay, how much spare fuel did we have on the Quintessence?”

 

[Kaile Vera]

Using her hand to push aside the bead curtain, Kaile stepped out into the main serving area. Bujak was there, chatting up a storm already with a young human female. Wariness colored Kaile’s eyes. Few ever came to visit Sky Ridge Island. Those who did so to trade with the Rishii for their exonium ore, which the Rishii used during the frost time to cook meals. It was an excellent raw source of fuel, and if refined, could even be used to fuel starships.

"Oh, Cara, come, yes, come." Three feathered fingers waved at Kaile to come over and join them. That was the name of the current alias the Lorrdian was using. Cara Washbourne.

"Meet, Mara Vy, she come to study yes. For two months." Kaile gave a small smile of greeting at the older woman. She had a large oval face, peppered hair, and spectacles over her eyes. There was a friendly demeanor about her, one that she expressed with the wide smile.

"Oh hello Cara, a pleasure to meet you," her hand extended over towards Kaile for her to shake.

"I am here with the Sentients for Conservation of Ornithology." now that was a word Kaile was unfamiliar with. Seeing her confusion, Mara elaborated, "The study of birds."

That made more sense. The corner of Kaile's mouth drew up in a rare half smile, "Are you going to be studying Bujak and his nest then?"

"Oh yes, I was granted permission by Chief Tzka. I am pleased to have the honor."

Well, there was that worry laid to rest. There had been a bit of a caution at anyone who wasn't Rishii coming to visit. It had taken some time explaining to Bujak why he would have to call her Cara now. None the less, as Rishii were great mimics, he took it in stride. It didn't matter what he called her, Kaile was welcomed to his nest anyways.

"Oh eat- eat" Bujak reminded Mara, "Then, perhaps, we take a small tour, hmm?"

On that Kaile could agree. Maybe some fresh air would help settle her stomach.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The three stars of the system falling upon the jagged edge of the mountain range was quite stunning. Asmus sat on a large metal toolbox, letting the cool evening breeze wash over him. He had been in his jumpsuit for hours and it was nice to just let the wind wick away the sheen of sweat. In one hand he had a datapad, a cold beer in the other.

Whilst his hair was closely cropped now he had let his beard grow out. In his white vest and commercial jumpsuit he didn’t look like a military officer, but he wasn’t one. Commander Janes had died.

Behind him the noise of a spark welder finally subsided, leaving him to his peace. Built into the rocky hillside was a hangar of five starfighters. This wasn’t a military, he wasn’t an officer. Asmus hadn’t asked them to follow him from the Subversion but they had anyway.

“All done,” Lucy called as she stepped away from the hangar and out into the open. His ship had taken a hit. The motley squadron had responded to a request from an army of freedom fighters losing a war to provide some air cover as they retreated. It was the same all across this quadrant of the galaxy. Local groups working on their own to fight back and mostly losing. But they were making a difference. His own Wraith Squadron.

Parts came from Incom direct. Funding through five shell companies from organisations that resisted the sweeping darkness. They were almost privateers in a way. Privateers with a moral compass.

“You still haven’t done it then?” Lucy asked, perching on the toolbox next to him. His silence was telling.

He held up the datapad and looked at it. They had crossed paths with Vo last week. He had gone to ground in his own way too and was working as an informant for the ‘right people’. For some reason the Sullustan had a change of heart. He had given Asmus the detail of a Letterbox and warned not to get his hopes up.

His investigation into where she could be was still churning. As more old faces popped up in the Rim there was more information. As far as he could tell she hadn’t made contact with anyone. She hadn’t left much of a trail.

“Fuck it,” Asmus sighed. He took a swig of beer and raised his datapad. He loaded an innocuous holoblog about cooking. There was a small window. The timestamp of the post was used as a key to decode the message posted. How could he possible encapsulate everything he had been thinking and feeling since they had been separated? The anguish, the frustration, the empty part of himself that needed her back.

I miss you

He tapped it in, the coding swapped it to a different phrase and he posted it. It was all he could think of. Hours of thought and that was it. Part of him hoped she wasn’t connected so wouldn’t even see the message.

 

[Kaile Vera]

Water went splashing against Kaile’s feet, the Lorrdian precariously trying to walk the slightly unstable trail that leads into the maw of the beach cavern.

It was early morning, the sun barely rising to cast its rosy glow across the indigo sky. High up, the waning starlight of the scattered stars shone brightly, observing the lone woman hike through the jungle.

Bobo was on her shoulder, providing an extra pair of eyes. Weening him off the high nutrient tubes had allowed the tiny lizard to lose the excess fat. Bujak meant well, but he had no concept of restraint when it came to offering nourishment to others.

Which was one of the reasons why Kaile was here. There was precious little that didn’t make the woman’s stomach churn. It wasn’t bad fruit. It wasn’t her being sick. The trepidation as the weeks went by and the symptoms didn’t fade away only seemed to grow, twisting and churning into a alarm. It was a familiar ailment, one that made Kaile panic and her heart hammer with dread.

Part of her didn’t want to confirm it. To ignore it. To maybe push it away from her mind and just take it day by day. Another part of her, the one that recalled the flurry of sensations, the nights listening to that hidden music mix that Asmus has given her, and the day Kaile had finally decided on a name couldn’t ignore it. Even if the confirmation would undoubtedly send her into mental disarray and remembrance at just how that loss had broken her.

A splash of water against her foot snapped Kaile from her reverie. Up ahead, the broad mouth of the cavern was dark, but she brought with her a hololight. Igniting the beam, the Lorrdian swept the illuminating sphere across the craggle of rocks. The scent of salt water and seaweed lingered in the air. A few stray crabs darting away as she came up along the trail inside.

There were barnacles and shallow tide pools, but that wasn’t her objective. A few more meters and the light beam would reflect back with a distinct sheen. It was the Solaris.

She had a scattering of bird droppings over her chrome hull, and the saltwater and air had dulled a bit of its sheen. But she was in one piece.

Kaile took a moment, pausing as the waves came crashing behind her in the distance. She’d tried to not come back. To not get lost in the memories of the time she spent here with Asmus. Her throat constricted, the tension growing behind her eyes.

I miss him.

Swallowing hard, Kaile took a breath. Bobo gave her a small comforting nuzzle, having found a warm spot just alongside the crook of her neck. Ambling up, the former agent went climbing to see the airlock. Using the ramp here wouldn’t be the best idea unless she wanted to invite the water or gulls in.

By the time the door slid open, Kaile already had beads of sweat dripping down her brow and temple. She stepped inside, and the lights flickered on, sensing her presence. Immediately she was inundated with those same memories again.

After taking a moment to compose herself, Kaile squared her shoulders. Nervousness drove a chill down her spine as she went down the corridor, past the lounge, and to the right. Swallowing hard, Kaile pressed the button of her hololight and turned it off, looking straight at the high tech medical pod in the center of the small medbay.

Already doubting herself, the Lorrdian had to grapple with what she’d come to do. It might not even work anyways. None the less, after setting bobo aside on top of a counter, Kaile moved to the medical pod.

It was like any other medical ingenuity, the only difference is that this had been produced to permanently take over the role of a medic. It would adjust to species, height, sex, and then proceed with medical scans for diagnosis. It was also a fully functional surgical pod, allowing it the ability to conduct living saving surgeries if needed.

Before she could change her mind, Kaile brought her hand up and activated the console. Large brown eyes would survey the settings; human female- physical diagnosis. Well as close as anything. Lorrdians were different by culture, not physicality. Another press and the medical pod chamber slid open, revealing the sterile, white bed within.

It wasn’t difficult to slip in and lay inside. Kaile had to remove her clothes first. They lay in a little pile on the floor like discarded thoughts while Kaile struggled to not hyperventilate. She didn’t even have to activate it to close, it sensed that she was in position.

There was something strangely claustrophobic about being in a medical pod. There wasn’t room to move, and her increasing panic didn’t help. A sudden beep startled her only to find a stream of green light start to sweep from the top of her head and travel across her body. Then came the soft waves of a sonic sensor. It only took a few seconds before another scan adjusted and focused on narrowing in on her physical results.

In front of her, a holographic image of her body began to take shape. The results detailing what it had found. The results were listed in tiny aurabesh sigils.

• Human female.
• 33 years old
• Anemic
• Anorexia
• Fatigue
• Stress
• Gestating

It was that last one that made Kaile catch her breath. With a trembling finger, she went to select it. She knew what it meant, but she needed to know.

The hologram shifted images and then turned into two distinct tables. To the right, it had enhanced to reflect details.

• Pregnancy : 10 weeks
• Vitals signs: normal

To be honest, Kaile didn’t even focus on those details. Instead, her eyes had immediately darted to the table on the left. It was a sonogram.

There was a pair of tiny working arms and legs. Cartilage and bone were already forming into that distinctly recognizable profile. Vital organs were already fully developed. Kaile could even see the tiny nails at the tips of those fingers.

Then and there, that pressure within Kaile’s chest burst. There was no holding back the tears, nor the loud cries. There, within that medical pod was the evidence that she and Asmus had conceived life.

Again.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Pass me that?” Lucy asked before taking the bottle of beer. Asmus didn't even protest. He was still feeling emotionally charged and a little disappointed in himself. The first lead, such a tentative line thrown his way, and that was all he had typed in.

“Did he write the message?” Chad called. He was just a metre behind them and made Asmus jump out of his internal thoughts.

The fondorian draped his arms around Lucy and pulled her back against his chest.

“You told him too?”

The pair shrugged at him together.

“Hey, Asmus! Did you send a message. What did it say?” Asmus stood up and turned back towards the hangar. Omar emerged from within, still carrying a dirty rag.

“Jay!” Asmus shouted out. A few clanks and the droid appeared too. Over one shoulder he carried an entire proton torpedo. The squad had covered him with Wraith Squadron decals.

[They asked.]

Asmus crossed his arms over his chest. He was supposed to be in charge of this little operation, but it didn't always feel like it. Jay couldn't tell him where Kaile had gone after finding her but he could spill choice gossip for some extra kudos.

“He said ‘I miss you’,” Lucy whispered before Asmus could voice a protest.

“Oh come on,” Asmus said, shaking his head but starting to smile. They were all ruining his sense of trepidation over the moment.

“That's all?” Chad muttered.

“I think it's sweet,” Lucy countered. Chad wouldn't argue now.

“Firing you all. Especially Omar.”

“I hadn't even said anything!”

“I could feel you thinking something bad,” Asmus replied. It was time to get some food and rest anyway. Tomorrow they were flying past the third fleet to gather some information for some big private companies trying to avoid patrols.

Asmus didn't know if this could last. He hadn't even expected it. When Max had told him that there was nothing for him on the Subversion he had thought otherwise. In truth he had seen his starfighter and thought of that. Not the remains of his wing following him. In the circumstances he thought he had done a good job, even as the First Order became increasingly efficient at finding rebel hideouts. But it was because of the support they provided.

He and Kaile were not at opposite ends of some spectrum, but they had followed different paths to reach where they were. Where Kaile could see a weakness in becoming dependant, he saw a strength in the group supporting each other. An extended network had built this operation. That was too simple, he thought to himself. It was just a case of weighing up risk. Kaile cared for others and would put herself in harm's way for them.

Or push them away to safety.

There were no signs that she had started operating again. How deep had she gone? How far? As he walked away from the group he imagined Kaile living under a new alias. Maybe in a big city where one person could be lost so easily. Living among people, but apart from them. Alone. It was a vision he couldn't push aside even as it drafted him down into a well of despair. He wanted to, needed to, see her again. Or at least talk to her. Just say that one word and make everything a little better.

He stepped into the shade of the hangar. Portable computers were laid out, ready to be snatched up in a moments notice and whisked away. Asmus walked alongside his ship, letting his hands trace along the angles of the hull. Four new TIE decals decorated the nose.

[I hope Kaile is well.]

Asmus turned in surprise to see Jay standing a few metres behind him. The droid had put down the warhead.

“Yeah, me too.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

Time here all but meant nothing, just shadows drifting across the cavern wall. It was some time before Kaile managed to calm herself, to reign in and try to gather her bearing. By then she was spent. Exhausted. Emotionally, physically, mentally, and everything else in between.

I’m pregnant, there was no doubt about it now. Not with the holographic image drifting over her face. With a shuddering breath, the Lorrdian activated the pod, opening it up back to fresh air and to a new world. The physical diagnosis results were saved into the internal computer, but Kaile paid it no mind. She had to think of what to do now.

A voice in her head wanted to call Kurt. Another, more demanding one wanted to see Asmus again. Yet another, darker tone would remind Kaile that to do that would warrant an avalanche of inquiries that would circle back to the fact that she never told him about Quin in the first place. Or anything else.

Rubbing her face. Kaile took a few seconds to gather her breath, to think. While Asmus had been agonizing over what to encrypt in the food blog, Kaile was trying to figure out just what she was going to do. What the future was going to bring. What it meant now, while Flashfire was activated meant while being pregnant.

There already was no thought on terminating it. The loss of Quin and agonizing over that had long since removed that as an option. Yet that didn’t hide the fact that she was here, on Rishi, unable to contact Kurt or anyone else. By normal standards, one could say she was in an alright position. Bujak and his kin wouldn’t mind it if Kaile became pregnant. It was what happened afterward once she was recalled that it would become a matter of choice. To go AWOL or report in with a child in tow.

The last time the agent had become pregnant, they had assigned her on a long-term intel sweep with Kurt. After she lost Quin, well, Kaile’s mind had been on trying desperately to keep herself active and working just to get over the ache and melancholy. I wasn’t careful, she mused, the guilt loading onto her shoulders again.

Hands came to rest over her belly. The next instant Asmus’ laughing face bloomed in her mind. She could picture him perfectly. The dark hair, the angular face, the scruffy line of his jaw. Most importantly, the color of his eyes. Eyes that had bore holes of desperation and pain back on Suravi when she had left him behind. There had been resentment in him, that much she read from his body language. She’d been cruel, deliberately so.

Kaile likely would have drowned in more thoughts had it not been for the slight alert she heard. It came from her datapad. Frowning, the Lorrdian stepped out of the medical pod. Her datapad was in a small case attached to her belt. She’d shut off holonet connection to her cybernetics just to be safe -- and to prevent the temptation of trying to search for Asmus. Kaile knew well that the first couple of weeks were critical in securing a successful cover. If Asmus wanted to go his own way, she had to trust that he would be prudent in his decisions. At least that’s what she told herself to keep her mind from going mad.

Her datapad, on the other hand, was activated to pick up specific broadcasts. All were rather innocuous, and even out in the rural mountain island that they were at, they were able to pick up the more extensive networks. However, these broadcasts were meant to provide a means of being able to send encrypted messages for SIS agents such as her. It was one of the very few secure methods that Intel could be dispatched and received from SIS without revealing too much information.

Bending down, Kaile unlatched the datapad from its case and stood up. Her thumb went skimming through the series of blogs, where one, in particular, had a new entry. It was a cooking blog, and odds were Vo had selected this one in particular based on Kaile’s usual waitress and line cook embedded roles.

The time stamp is what would be used to help decrypt. Not wanting to have to spend time mulling it over and decoding, Kaile activated her implants. The ocular lenses scanned the variables and the key. What she read the next few seconds after it decrypted made her fingers twitch, dropping the datapad on the floor.

A fine trembling took her, and if it hadn’t been for the emotional reveal she had just learned a few minutes ago, she might have been able to resist.

The message was simple. Two words. Miss you.

Vo wouldn’t have sent it. It would have been orders or coordinates. This. This was different.

Only Vo could contact her through this means; unless something happened to the Sullustan - and Kaile prayed it didn’t - and her handler was now someone else. So unless this was her new handler or Vo decided to cross a new line of concern, this was someone new.

Her mind rapidly went to connect the dots what her heart already knew. Slipping down onto the floor, naked, bare and feeling the well of tears she’d long since believed had dried, Kaile drowned in a whirlpool of emotions. Of relief, because if this was Asmus, then he was still alive. Of intense longing, because she wanted to see him again. Of guilt, for everything that had befallen him. Of confusion and an utter sense of loss, because of what she had just learned.

It would have been easy to ignore it. To not reply. To not send anything back. Had Kaile not found out she was pregnant, then maybe she would have been a little stronger of will.

Instead, she went reaching for the datapad. It would require waiting until the correct timeframe, for it was the key to the decryption.

It was risky, sure. But at least Kaile was able to respond in some way. And perhaps, still know he was safe.

Two days later, a new reply to the cooking holo blog would contain an encrypted message. It was the name to a music file.

Everlong.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The song played out around his little corner of the hangar. Asmus had something resembling a little office space tucked away from the mechanic's corner. Everyone else was outside. A pair of star destroyers had been sweeping the system and everyone had been in the shelter, gear packed up and ready to make a break if they were discovered. Once the tension had broken most of them were glad of the fresh air. All except Chad and Lucy anyway. They had gone elsewhere.

Asmus sat in silence as he let the song play. The music washed over him. He let every memory it conjured come tumbling out. She had left this for him, it felt right to experience it all regardless of the pain it elicited.

Kaile, his Kaile was still out there. They belonged to each other, no matter how much distance there was between them. It was a truth he had etched into his very soul. Something that could not be dispelled no matter what she did to push him away.

No one bothered him as the music played. Asmus had spent a lot of time behind the tactical consoles over the last couple of days. It was becoming increasingly obvious that the Alliance was not coming back together. The Outer Rim Coalition did what it could to secure worlds, another Republic or two had been formed near the Core. But the Alliance had scattered. The chance of the recall notice seemed to be spiralling away. And if that didn't bring her back to him, then what could.

[That song was in that map]

Asmus started and looked up at Jay. The droid had lingered close by but stayed silent until the song had played out.

“Yes, it was.” Asmus rubbed the moisture from his eyes with a corner of his sleeve.

[Was that her reply?]

“Yes, yes it was.” He felt himself smiling. Odd how sometimes the act of smiling seemed to come before feeling better. As the expression on its own lightened his mood.

[Then she is safe] Jay looked at Asmus and then turned his head towards the hangar entrance. [Would you wish her well from me?]

Asmus felt as if his heart had been pummeled. He hadn't expected their silly droid to break it just a little bit more. “I'll find a way to.”

---

Months later

The wind howled outside. Pouring rain was like a curtain draped over the entrance to their new retreat. They had received a tip off and moved on. It was cold in this old rebel alliance hideout. Little shelter from the wind and this part of the jungle world was in a rainy winter season. The thick clouds and atmospheric composition hid them well. Omar and Jay liked sneaking into the deep caves and finding ancient signs of the old rebellion. They had found a little signet ring that had barely rusted, sporting the symbol of the old rebellion behind an irys.

I found some old friends. One of them is free of his restraints and wishes you well.

It wasn't much but if he encoded too much information it could draw attention. Asmus sat there, watching the rain and drinking his caf. He tried to imagine her getting the message.

 

[Asmus Janes]

.

 

[Kaile Vera]

It would be another two weeks before Asmus would receive an alert for another holoblog reply. Maybe it was because Kaile was pregnant again. Or maybe because this time around, she didn’t have Kurt with her. Either way, her emotions were already swinging from despair, to panic, to joy, and affection when she’d received Asmus’ most recent message.

It had prompted a slight twitch of a smile. He must have had Jay scrubbed to see if there were any other protocols; at least that is what Kaile would have done. Either way, when Asmus received a reply, the encoded message would simply state.

Stay safe.

There was a wealth of more that Kaile wanted to say, but even with this, she knew she was pushing it. Last time, almost six years ago, Kaile had sworn she wouldn’t make contact. By and large, she had stuck to that vow. There were moments of weakness where the agent would use her skills or credentials to try and get some holovideo feed or check up on his status. Those had only reinforced her inability to let go as well as to provide the perception that he was at least happy.

This time around, she couldn’t do the same. There was no hack for her to narrow down. She had a name for his new alias, but tracking it down could potentially place him in danger. It was the same with Kurt. Thankfully, she’d been able to make contact with the pilot briefly to determine that he was doing alright and had taken up with staying with his girlfriend. All the more reason not to be a bother. As long as Kurt and Asmus were well, then maybe Kaile could do this alone.

She’d done it most of her life anyways.

Mara, the professor in charge of overseeing research with the Rishii and their ties to exonium had managed to interpret Kaile’s symptoms on her own. It was no surprise when the older woman took Kaile quietly to the side to inquire. It ended with Kaile crying on the woman’s shoulder, Mara giving a comforting pat onto the younger woman’s back.

“There, there. It is alright.” Mara told her. “ You must think of your baby.” she’d remind her.

“I’ve had five of my own,” Mara told her proudly, “It can be daunting but no need to be worried.” with gentle hands, Mara would wipe away Kaile’s tears.

“Now, let’s see what we can do before I leave to get you settled, hmm? You need to eat better. You are too skinny! We’ll have to talk to Bujak to make sure you eat plenty of fresh produce…”

The following weeks before Mara left to return to her next research port in the Outer Rim were spent in ensuring Kaile would eat, that she had plenty of rest, and did her best to settle her nerves. While it substitute the longing she felt for Asmus, it did wonders for ensuring that the Lorrdian didn’t feel quite so lost. The first time with Quin it had been a guessing game. Kurt had no idea, even if he had bought a holobook on pregnancy to try and help. But even then he was overwhelmed. Even more so after Kaile’s miscarriage. Mara managed to fill the role of a mothering mentor, something Kaile had never really had any experience with.

When Mara left to continue her research at Drexel, Kaile saw her off, waving goodbye. Mara of course, left with memories of her research, a new appreciation for the Rishii, and dozens of holopictures. While Kaile, as Cara, had requested that none be taken of her, there was one Mara had taken, unable to help herself.

It was an image of a profile of a woman. She was sitting down, offering a slice of a geldun sun apple to a Rishii chick. The light had barely filtered through the trees to provide enough light for Mara to focus in on the Rishii Chick and the woman was just slightly out of focus. Nonetheless, it was clear enough to note that she had bright magenta hair and sad, recognizable eyes.

On the note attached to the image. Cara and Kit.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Guys? Defcon 2!”

Asmus looked up in surprise at the sudden call from just beyond his door. He realised what was going on but they all managed to arrive when he was still trying to slide the bottle into the drawer of his desk.

“Oh dear.”

Omar had called out, but it was Wilson who looked between Asmus and the glass of whiskey on his desk. A few seconds later and nearly everyone was gathered around the office.

“What?” Asmus asked.

“Two days,” said Chad.

“Yup same again.”

“Why are the three of you in my doorway… Four of you, hello Lucy.”

“Because you've got the whiskey out in the day.”

“Two days after getting a message back.”

“Like last time.”

Asmus narrowed his eyes at the group. Had this happened last time? Exuberant joy on the day of getting the message. Mixed feelings the next day, followed by melancholy the day after that. And a glass or two of whiskey.

With an emphatic sigh he rolled his eyes. “So?”

“So… There isn't anything to do right now so get the bottle back out and bring it to the mess?” Omar offered, tilting his head as he waited for Asmus’ reply.

“Why?”

“Because we all know this will go quicker if we let you get a couple of glasses down you and talk.” Lucy explained.

He didn't even reply. He just shook his head, tried not to laugh and took the bottle from his bottom drawer.

 

[Kaile Vera]

It had been a while since Kaile stepped foot in the Messa. The prototype light freighter had been discovered by the Lorrdian and Kurt nearly six years ago in a long forgotten Imperial Bunker. The same one whose coordinates Kaile had sold to give Asmus an identity outside of the SIS and the Alliance.

While the Messa was smaller than the Solaris at thirty-four meters, it was still too large to have it land next to the nest. Instead, it was stationed a speeder bike ride down the mountainside near the small trade transport arena. It had only enough room for less than a handful of landing bays, and all were on rough beach gravel. If someone was looking for a refuel or charge, this wasn’t the place.

Instead, it served as a drop-off and pick up for various cargo needs. The Rishii of Sky Ridge Island had a mine of exonium, and that which they had in excess would trade with smugglers and pirates on Raider's Cove. Since it rarely saw much traffic save once a week, it was the perfect place to set the Messa long term. When she had first gone back to SIS, Bujak said it would be alright to leave it here as well as Bobo. His assistance was invaluable in making sure that what she treasured the most were kept safe.

This time, Kaile brought down the ramp. Bobo was at her shoulder again. He practically refused to let her out of his sight, choosing to alternate between feedings in his nutrient tube to stay as close to her as possible. Kaile couldn't fault him, as she was honestly comforted by his presence. It didn't make her feel completely alone.

The Messa would need to air out a bit, Kaile thought to herself. There was a reason why she was coming to the ship. As the months progressed, Kaile was slowly settling into a long-term plan on what she would do. There were many variables involved, but for now, she had to take it one day at a time.

That involved coming to this ship before it became a bit more difficult. Her belly was already rounding in a familiar bittersweet way. A palm went over it, gently rubbing it so.

"Well, kiddo, here we are." she told her child. Maybe it was easier now, but it didn't mean she would forget.

"Don't reckon your sister would mind if you used her things."

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus walked a slow circle around his starfighter. He had called it Thunderstruck after the song. It now seemed a slightly silly name if he was being honest with himself. It didn’t seem worth changing now. His mind had put the two things together, the ship and the name.

He missed flying it. In the last month they had only flown two missions. The last one against a supply line as the First Order attempted to make a move on Skor. Everything had gone quiet. The imperials weren’t marching. They had taken over the shipyards of Fondor and mostly stayed within their own territory. The Sith were staying on the far side of the Galaxy in wild space. It was as if everyone had tired of the fighting. Compromises were made.

Was this, he wondered, how a war ended? The oppressor just became another government, stopping spending all its credits on military action and the resistance cells went away? It was a sobering thought. As if no one ever really admitted losing, they just walked away months after the peak of the war.

It was a shame about Fondor. Chad and Lucy had both come to talk to him. As they wound down the pair of them were considering heading away to try and form a more normal life. They had been talking about moving to Carida. Asmus wasn’t about to force anyone to stay.

Asmus ducked under the fuselage of the fighter. Several panels had been replaced after the last run. The little ingenious pockets of laminamium had saved him several times by filling holes in the hull when it was pierced. Asmus put his back to the ladder, leaning against it and watching the far wall. He chewed on the inside of his cheek.

Chad and Lucy were doing what anyone did when the war was over. They packed up and went back to their loved ones.

“I can’t go to Kaile,” he muttered to himself. He couldn’t go home either. Not that he had ever been attached to Eriadu.

I want to see you

In a moment of weaknesses he dropped off the coded message. But how could he? There was no chance of a recall notice now. Vo had hinted that SIS command had scattered to the winds or been arrested. In a way, those deep cover agents were entirely free to live their own lives.

He wanted to live his with her. He slid his terminal back into his pocket and thumped the ladder with his fist in frustration.

 

[Kaile Vera]

I want to see you.

Kaile sat on her bunk of her cabin in the Messa. Her datapad was clenched into a white-knuckle grip that it was a wonder she hadn’t broken it.

There was so much the Lorrdian wanted to say. To do. Gut instinct would have prompted her to reply back, to say that she wanted to see him as well. Oh, but it wasn’t so simple.

Not now. Not ever.

How could I even start? She mused. Where do I even begin? There were layers upon layers of lies and omissions. How could Kaile tell him that she wanted to see him and not explain that she was pregnant? How could she say that she would do anything to be in his arms again, and not put both herself and he in danger? Then, how did she even explain everything else that she had held close to her heart in the past? That she’d constantly monitored him to see if he was doing alright. That she had become pregnant five years ago and due to her carelesses, lost Quin.

He would hate me, Kaile told herself that she was sure of it. If there had been resentment in Asmus’ eyes when she’d tried to choose his path, then learning all of this… everything. He was sure to be angry. Anyone would be.
It was just a jumbled mess. News from the Core Worlds and Confederacy holo broadcasts seemed to suggest that the Alliance was now in shambles. If Vo himself hadn’t contacted her four months in, then the SIS had surely gone to ground or agents had been arrested.

It was too risky. Unsafe. Kaile’s palms went gliding over her belly. As if the act itself would not only self-soothe but perhaps provide an answer, even though Kaile understood there wasn’t really one. Not one that made sense. Hot pin pricks of tears would well in her eyes. They came so freely now a days.

Giving a few sniffs, Kaile wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. The past few weeks had been spent going through all of Quin’s belongings that Kurt had painstakingly placed away when Kaile had left. It had been too raw back then for Kaile to have done it herself. Now, bringing them out of the tiny storage area of their cargohold, it just brought the memories flooding all over again.

Asmus hadn’t been around back then - not through his own choice - but neither was he this time around. Again, because of Kaile’s decisions.

Don’t. Don’t respond, Kaile told herself. Whatever she decided to say would bring more harm than good anyways. She couldn’t tell him she wanted to see him as well without putting them both at risk or the heartache at the realization that it just wasn’t possible.

More and more, it was becoming evident that this would be her new normal. So what then? Where did it leave them both?

It was another week before Asmus would receive an encrypted reply. Perhaps, in its simplicity, it answered the depth of Kaile’s feelings. It was another song title. From where you are.

It was a curious thing, to use music to convey feelings. Perhaps it is because it had been all Kaile had left to connect with Asmus in the past, with that soundtrack playlist he had so artfully mixed and set hidden away in that map. Something that both could listen to and remember. And not forget.

 

[Asmus Janes]

For just a heartbeat he thought she must have been playing with him. As if sending a song was a little joke on his behalf. It only took the first few lines to make him realise that Kaile was being entirely serious. They could only encode a few words before the message would start to look like gibberish and potentially draw attention. A song could convert so much more than just a few words.

As he had before, he sat and absorbed the entire song. He wasn't the only one.



In a well furnished office on Duklust, Vas Paal Vo let the music play until the end. The last time Kaile had sent a song it must have been something personal. This time the sullustan didn't need anything to understand the meaning in the message.

Vo saw a lot with his large, glassy eyes. Sometimes that was good. It turned out that there were many lucrative private sector jobs for someone with his talents. He also saw Kaile for who she was. He saw what the agency had done to another orphan. A kind soul who could have been anything, but had to be everyone. And no one. There was no small amount of guilt when he thought about that. He was getting soft in his old age.

Just a few words would send a recall notice. If she went to a designated meeting zone there was a risk that one of their enemies would pick them up. He still didn't know if the Sith had compromised the SIS as deeply as they had the jedi order. Vo was getting soft, but he wasn't getting careless.

He didn't often think about the right thing to do. He thought about efficient, effective methods. No amount of calculation and strategizing could tell him what the best thing to do would be for the two of them. Asmus had a habit of surprising people. It had been a great source of amusement for Vo during the long periods of comm silence on the Subversion when he was devoid of his usual reports and information to work through.

He doubted Kaile would have expected him to find the Subversion and rather effectively form his own little resistance movement. Vo himself had advised Asmus to wind down on that front for now. The Galaxy was becoming quiet. That meant that if Wraith Squadron kept hitting vulnerable assets some Admiral was going to dedicate a lot of resources into finding them and the group would end up before a firing squad.

Vo decided to book a shuttle. Hopefully he would have made a decision by the time he reached them.



It pained Asmus that he couldn't risk a reply yet. Not even a brief thanks for the song. Just knowing that she missed him back meant a great deal to him. It was overwhelming. His door opened. A bottle appeared, held by a bring pink hand.

“Want to skip to day two now?” Omar whispered.

 

[Kaile Vera]

Music had always been a large part of Kaile’s life. Growing up, her childhood had always been one drifter colony or rebellion base. A sort of musical chair if you will. They would never stay too long, and the faces and names would change. Yet music wouldn’t.

It was there with the push of a button on her holotape recorder. In the beatbox over a well-used toolbox as she did her best to fix a leak in an engine. During her first kiss and the first time, she lost her virginity inside the cargo bay of a YZ-1200. The songs Kaile collected throughout the years were very much separated into distinct playlists. Each one is equally important.

There was a mix full of rock and oldies during her time with Kurt. That first year had been a blast. They had so many adventures and were just enjoying each other's company. Then came the chapter of her life where she first learned about heartbreak. Asmus was an entire playlist that equally took her back to the past with bittersweet joy as well as an ache. It was a mix of what he’d given her as well as a few of her own. The years that followed were a somewhat tumultuous set of combinations that didn’t allow her any time to think, let along hear herself.

This time, well, it would shift to and fro depending on the day. Some days, Kaile drowned herself with the past. Other times, she uplifted herself with the catchy tunes of uplifting rock. It was always changing, and perhaps, one of the few ways that the Lorrdian felt she could really communicate what she felt when she couldn’t even be herself at all.

Today, Kaile wasn't listening to music. Instead, her entire focus was on the holoscreen in front of her. Bujak had on set up so it would be easier to watch the galactic games. However, it was interrupted when breaking news went live.

The First Order had taken over Fondor. Her face blanching of color, Kaile wrapped her arms over her belly, almost protectively. Fondor that Fondor had submitted to First Order rule shook the Lorrdian. It had been the original corporatocracy of the Omega Pyre, the Capital of the Omega Protectorate, and had continued under Alliance rule. Kaile had once trained with other Force users at the Fondor Twin Towers, had passed on her knowledge there to other agents, and briefed through countless missions.

If Fondor fell... what was next? Legs unsteady, Kaile's hand went reaching out for a chair, white knuckles bringing it over to her. She sat down, eyes wide.

How long, then, would she need to remain undercover? Months? Years? And to be honest...If I received the recall... Would I ever return? Hands swept over her stomach. Glancing down, Kaile stared at her ever-growing belly.

Do I even want to?

The voice was faint but clear in her mind.

No.


The Rishii of Rishi Holobook documentary was the pride and joy of Mara Voy. It was a holobook documentary that would cover the vast and interesting culture of the Rishii, from their nests, their way of life, and their unique relationship with their environment and the exonium ore that they used during the frost time. It would offer a first-account look and study of the Rishii, including several holo pictures that would showcase the two months spent among the various nests. Believing it to be an innocuous addition, Mara also added one particular holo picture she held dear, hidden among a vast spread. It was of a young Rishii chick and the slightly blurred profile of a woman with bright pink hair. Cara and Kit.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“There are less of you here?” Vo asked. They had been hidden in a valley of the ice moon for just a few days now. Both of them had heavy coats on with hoods pulled up. Asmus despised the cold. Deeper into the old resistance base, further into the rock, they had the heating turned up. They had to leave the entrance to the hangar at ambient temperature so that it didn’t show up on scans. He could have stayed back there, but it only seemed polite to meet Vo as he landed.

“Not many left now,” Asmus agreed with a nod. “Not many anywhere. I think they’ve realised that the less they push the less people resist. I can’t decide if that’s a win or not.”

Vo chuckled. “Don’t think of things in such black and white terms Asmus. It is what it is now, it was what it was. Simply decide the best action to take for things to be the way you want them to be.”

Of course that was how Vo saw the world. An intelligence officer had to make difficult calls and worked to logic more than ethics. At the same time it was a dark reflection of a speech Asmus had once made from the controls of the Quintessence.

“I suppose so. We're all fairly open about the plans. We all know that at some point we'll have to pack up and go and find work in the Core for a serious organisation. Or maybe the confederacy.” Asmus walked down the length of Thunderstruck with Vo falling into step beside him. He would have to ask why Vo had come without being requested, but he was nervous about what the reasons could be.

“A little reluctant to leave the Rim?” Vo asked.

Asmus stopped. He turned and placed his hands on his hips. Apparently he was cursed with being an open book to SIS agents. “Maybe.”

“What have you done to find her then?” Vo asked.

“Since we last talked…” Asmus trailed off.

“Interesting. I would have expected more from you.”

Asmus slightly recoiled. That was like a slap in the face. An accusation.

“Is that because you're out of ideas or because you're afraid to try again and to fail?”

Asmus looked towards the bright light reflecting off the ice that streamed through the entrance. He did some quick soul searching. “A little of both?”

“It's not easy picking yourself up after a loss. You're young, you haven't had to do it that often yet.” Vo nodded as if he understood completely.

“I think we've done a lot of good here,” Asmus protested. “We…”

Vo held up a hand to stop the protest. “I know.” He stopped and a deep breath. “I will help you find her, but I have a condition.”

“Which is?”

“You stop fighting first. You know the truth so I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Keep pissing the First Order off and they will eventually stamp you out. Kaile…she's suffered a lot. On more than one occasion on account of me.”

Asmus opened his mouth but Vo give him a look that stopped him.

“Don't feel bad for me. I come to terms with every decision before I give it. Neither will I tell you what she's been through. It's not for me. If we find her, you go to her and you stay hidden this time or you take her far away. If she will come. Convincing her is down to you. If you piss her off time I dare say she will wipe your memory and I won't be there to help. These are my conditions and they come with no guarantees.”

Asmus rocked back on his heels. That mischievous glint and wry smile when you thought Vo wasn't looking made it easy to underestimate him. The truth was that he was a calculating, terrifying individual.

“Well?”

“I'm going to need a glass of whiskey. And to talk to who is left.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

With her decision made, Kaile became more cautious and equally anxious. If a recall came, the agent was expected to check in. If she didn’t, she would either be expected to be compromised, dead or AWOL. The first two meant that they would try to verify, and her current alias was in SIS system data. In her case, things were even more difficult.

While being able to communicate with Asmus - as short and fleeting as it was - it also communicated to Vo that she was alive and active. The thought that this had been Vo’s primary way of contacting her should an issue arise meant that he too would know the agent was active and in turn, if there was still a semblance of SIS chain of command, he would be obligated to report it.

It meant that if a recall came, Kaile couldn’t just ignore it and have it believed that she was compromised or dead. They would know. And if she was considered to be AWOL, they would issue a burn notice.

That meant she would be completely cut off and perhaps even given a warrant for detainment. That couldn’t happen. Where would that leave the baby?

She’d need to get a new alias, but she had precious little funds. Kaile had given Asmus nearly all of her savings so that he could start over. Kai only gave one clean handle for the information on the bunker, and that was for Asmus too.

The only items of possession she had were the Messa and the Solaris. Trepidation ran chills down her spine. It was almost five months since the flashfire notice; could she be able to sell the Solaris for funds now? Would it be safe?

Sitting there in the small, circular nest with the thatch overhead and branches for protection, Kaile realized she had precious few options. One of which was breaking her heart all over again. The realization that she couldn’t respond to the holoblog any more. That her one connection with Asmus would have to be severed.

That night, listening to Asmus playlist and comforting herself amidst the flutter of life within her belly, Kaile cried. She sobbed at the unfairness, the situation, and how it seemed that whenever she was going to be okay, things just seemed to fall apart.

But it wasn’t about herself anymore. She had to think of the future, on what she was going to do. And that meant coming to terms with truly letting Asmus go.