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 Character Feedback - 1 Year and 1k in posts

I really love the feedback questions Briana Sal-Soren Briana Sal-Soren used on her feedback thread to really narrow down on areas of opportunity and feed back as a writer as well.

As Sibylla has reached her one-year birthday as a character on January 25th, and I have reached over 1k posts with her, if those who have the time could really provide some solid feedback on the questions below, it would be greatly appreciated.


Some questions/feedback I'm looking for ICly:

1. Do Sibylla's choices feel consistent across threads?

2. Does Sibylla leave room for other characters to act and respond?

3. Does Sibylla feel too powerful, too passive, or well balanced?

4. When you have read Sibylla, does she come across as predictable or surprising?

5. If you are aware of Sibylla's story, what kind of arc would you like to see her have next?


Questions for me:

From my previous feedback thread, the feedback I received was to delve into more internal thoughts and what she is feeling, thinking, and the like, since she had a tendency to try to play the perfect daughter or politician and keep her composure. I believe that since then, she has actually shown more emotion, a break in composure, and more internal thoughts, and has been through some heavy interactions that not only play on her political views and duties, but also on her personal ones. I try to make her sound more polished and educated, purposely avoiding contractions to give her a bit of a tone like Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. I know I tend to write very long posts, but I also try to shorten them when it feels necessary.

However, to improve my writing, please provide some follow-up on the following.

1. Do my posts flow smoothly, or do they feel choppy or dense?

2. Is my dialogue natural and distinct, or do I need to try to better distinguish different voices?

3. Do I rely on certain words, phrases, or sentence structures too often?

4. Does my writing convey subtext effectively, or feel too on the nose?

5. Are my posts too long? Or should they be shortened?

6. Am I easy to collaborate with?


In General - Nobility Political Characters Questions
Typically, most writers enjoy writing Force Users, though a few enjoy writing Non-Force Users. Sybilla was my take on writing a non-force-user politician with deep roots in Nobility, and how that impacts her as a character and her decisions moving forward. I know I've tried to hype up this type of character, but I wanted to get some feedback on this.

1. Are you interested in reading this type of political character/ nobility class like SIbylla? If so, why or why not?

2. Would you be interested in roleplaying with a political nobility character? If so, why or why not?

3. What story arcs or roleplaying ideas would you be interested in seeing these types of characters in?
 
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If you need a label for me, then you don't know me
Some questions/feedback

1. Do Sibylla's choices feel consistent across threads? I'm looking for ICly: I think so, for the most part. There has been a growth in her (not a joke about her and Aurelian :p) and it is really showing. I think that there is a trauma in her she has yet to face(not a joke about the scar, haha) but her experiences are making her the leader some wish that they were.

2. Does Sibylla leave room for other characters to act and respond? Yeah, always room for a little more, but she doesn't rule the roost

3. Does Sibylla feel too powerful, too passive, or well balanced? Right of center (balanced leaning powerful, but it makes sense)

4. When you have read Sibylla, does she come across as predictable or surprising? I don't get surprised anymore by anything rp, so I'll leave this onr

5. If you are aware of Sibylla's story, what kind of arc would you like to see her have next? I honestly would like to see opposition so VEHEMENTLY opposed that you might say that they have Abrantes Derangement Syndrome, to borrow a phrase, and see how she handles it.


Questions for me:

From my previous feedback thread, the feedback I received was to delve into more internal thoughts and what she is feeling, thinking, and the like, since she had a tendency to try to play the perfect daughter or politician and keep her composure. I believe that since then, she has actually shown more emotion, a break in composure, and more internal thoughts, and has been through some heavy interactions that not only play on her political views and duties, but also on her personal ones. I try to make her sound more polished and educated, purposely avoiding contractions to give her a bit of a tone like Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. I know I tend to write very long posts, but I also try to shorten them when it feels necessary.

However, to improve my writing, please provide some follow-up on the following.

1. Do my posts flow smoothly, or do they feel choppy or dense? Always have been smooth

2. Is my dialogue natural and distinct, or do I need to try to better distinguish different voices? Depends on the character.

3. Do I rely on certain words, phrases, or sentence structures too often? I would be the pot calling the kettle "black" on this if I answered . If it works, use it

4. Does my writing convey subtext effectively, or feel too on the nose? Sometimes on the nose is all you need

5. Are my posts too long? Or should they be shortened? As long as they are not dense, write whatever length tells your story :)

6. Am I easy to collaborate with? Have we ever? I don't know


In General - Nobility Political Characters Questions
Typically, most writers enjoy writing Force Users, though a few enjoy writing Non-Force Users. Sybilla was my take on writing a non-force-user politician with deep roots in Nobility, and how that impacts her as a character and her decisions moving forward. I know I've tried to hype up this type of character, but I wanted to get some feedback on this.

1. Are you interested in reading this type of political character/ nobility class like SIbylla? If so, why or why not? Not really. I tried it with Arcann Pehnataur - INACTIVE Arcann Pehnataur - INACTIVE and enjoyed it but ended up writing too much like a pro wrestler cutting a promo. Ad for reading it? Well, the idea is great, but it gets a little confusing

2. Would you be interested in roleplaying with a political nobility character? If so, why or why not? See above

3. What story arcs or roleplaying ideas would you be interested in seeing these types of characters in? I'll get back to you
 
In General - Nobility Political Characters Questions
Typically, most writers enjoy writing Force Users, though a few enjoy writing Non-Force Users. Sybilla was my take on writing a non-force-user politician with deep roots in Nobility, and how that impacts her as a character and her decisions moving forward. I know I've tried to hype up this type of character, but I wanted to get some feedback on this.

You know how I feel about NFUs so anyone who tries to hype up the NFU community and bring light to the possibilities is awesome in my book.

1. Are you interested in reading this type of political character/ nobility class like SIbylla? If so, why or why not?

Sure, why not.

2. Would you be interested in roleplaying with a political nobility character? If so, why or why not?

Of course. I know we've briefly talked (or was it me and Wolf?) about my overarching political storyline in terms of merging the corporate life with more political activism. I will say its nice to have a Political class with the broader board to interact with rather than people who just pull them out for Senate votes.

3. What story arcs or roleplaying ideas would you be interested in seeing these types of characters in? I'll get back to you

Haven't thought much about this beyond my own storyline. If there are other diplomats on the board I can see a larger storyline interacting with them in some form or fashion. Especially surrounding Junctions/Invasions I think there is a lot of untapped possibility there depending on the opposing faction.


Don't have much feedback for the character that I haven't already given, just here to champion NFU causes.
 

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