Chalk and Cheese

[Jack Sparrow]

Jack shook his head, rubbing his wrists before untying his ankles. "Bit before my time, love. About eight and a half centuries, to be precise. While I do cultivate a bit of love for your Jedi lore, it's always tended to revolve around the acquisition of lost artifacts and the money to be had thereof, rather than your whys and wherefores."

Jack began pulling on his own clothes, enjoying the view as the lovely byzantine Twi'lek dressed herself.

A few minutes and several stolen kisses later, the pair were back in the apartment's main room, dinner ordered and on its way, drinks refreshed.

"Now," said Jack, "a story."

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

"The reason for my asking was that it relates to my story, darling." The Twi'lek offered him a sassy smile, throwing her legs up and over the lap of the rather handsome senator. Her arms stretched towards the table and plucked a few crackers and cheese, offering a bit to him while they waited for the food to arrive. A sip of her drink and a few bites later she offered the story to him as he'd asked.

"Well, to begin, an ancestor of mine served as a Jedi Knight during the period of time that some of the greatest Jedi had ever lived. A beautiful blue female by the name of Aayla Secura." A noticeable wave of pride surged through the Twi'lek's voice. Very few of her people had ever rose to the ranks of Jedi, and even fewer had served during that period of time. "She was as talented with a lightsaber and nimble as she was beautiful. To be frank, she was my better in every aspect." Judging by Sera's voice it was clear she happily admitted this revelation.

"Growing up she was my idol. I wanted to be just like her. I studied the same combat forms as she. Aayla was the reason I pushed myself to learn Jar'Kai, the talent of wielding two sabers at once. I practiced dance and gymnastics as well to better train myself in the form of Ataru, a more physically demanding version of fighting. I did really all because of her. I had such admiration for the woman."

Her face soured a bit as she relayed the next piece of information that Jack likely already knew. "Like all, or most of the Jedi, she was betrayed by the Republic turned Empire. The Clone troops under her command followed Order 66 and gunned her down and left her for dead on the world of Felucia."

[member="Jack Sparrow"]

 

[Jack Sparrow]

Jack furrowed his brow as he massaged [member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]'s shapely calves. "Well so far this story has little of the lighthearted to recommend it. I do hope it gets brighter?"

The comlink in Jack's coat went off. "A moment, love," he said, raising her legs up for a moment as he crossed the room to retrieve his coat. Pulling the device out, he answered with a quick "Yes?" The pirate listened for several moments, nodding his head. "I see. Well. Yes. Well. Wellwellwell. Yes. Thank you, Dewey, and Wraaaahhhnnn awruhhhh to you as well. Hm? No, no, don't wait up." He dropped the comlnk back into his coat, returned to the couch, picked up Sera's legs, and laid them once more across his lap. "Apparently I've just been elected Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic," he said casually. "So. What happened to Aayla? Was she killed?"

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Sera smiled and gave [member="Jack Sparrow"] a nod. "It does get brighter. But no good story is bright and sunny through the whole tale, now does it?"

About to continue the story they were interrupted by the beeping of the man's comlink. Sitting quietly she gave Jack a few moments to speak to whoever was trying to reach him. Judging by his words and tone it sounded as if it wasn't bad news at the very least. Nothing quite like bad news to ruin a moment, or an entire evening.

When he relayed to her the information that he'd been named the new head of the Republic the woman stared at him for a moment, almost confused by his calm demeanor in regard to said news. Pink legs pulled back and she knelt forward towards him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she'd kiss his cheek.

"That's splendid! Congratulations!" For a moment she'd forgotten about her story, having been sidetracked by his news.

"Oh, right, Aayla. Yes. During one of the final battles of the Clone Wars, Palpatine had instructed the Clone Army to immediately follow Order 66, later learned to be a pre-programmed biological order to immediately eliminate the Jedi. This was done in secret, and was discovered far too late. Aayla was gunned down by her squad and left for dead on the battlefield. That's where her story ended, but that's where mine starts."

 

[Jack Sparrow]

"A biologic order to kill?" Jack shuddered. "That man was not nice, and quite frankly I'm glad he's dead." Seeing as [member="Seraphina Shel'tah"] had put her arms around him, rather than allowing her to lay back down away from him, he instead laid her head upon his lap, gazing into the depths of eyes as green as a Kashyyyk forest, allowing her to stretch in the other direction. He trailed his fingernails down one of her lekku gently, then the other. "Is this all right?" he asked. "I haven't had much experience with lekku I fear, apart from needing to yank a pair once or twice in a melee."

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

"Not nice at all." She'd agree. The galaxy could have turned out to be a drastically different place, had that man's plans failed him. Alas, history was history, and there was nothing to be done about such things now. A slight shiver cast over the Twi'lek as [member="Jack Sparrow"] ran his hands, fingers, and fingernails down the length of each lek. It was a strange sensation for her, as most refrained from touching them entirely. Few understood their purpose, seeing them simply as tails adorning the heads of the species with little to no use.

Sera slightly grimaced at the thought of having them pulled, or squeezed. Her face would only remain so for a moment, before returning to a warm smile. "Yes, that's okay. Twi'lek are born with their lekku, though as a child they are much smaller. They grow in the same manner as a human grows the rest of their body, over time. However where the human's brain is encased in the skull, the greatest portion of a Twi'lek's brain is situated within their lekku. Applying pressure, such as pulling or squeezing them will cause intense pain, and could cause severe brain damage, or death."

For a moment she'd trail off, enjoying the sensation of Jack's gentleness over her head. "Aayla's saber had been lost on Felucia many, many years ago. After some research and calling a favor in to my friend within the Silver Jedi Order by the name of Connor Harrison, he agreed to help me search for the weapon, and even provided the last known coordinates of an imperial base that had been installed near the battlefield."

 

[Jack Sparrow]

"Connor Harrison?" asked Jack. "I've heard the name. Did the lightsaber wind up at the Imperial base then? Not being kept as a trophy, I hope."

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Sera nodded. "Connor is a good friend. He's over with the Silver Order on Voss." He had helped her obtain the weapon. Without his help she likely would have failed. Having provided both the location of the base and saving her behind from a rather excitable predator within the ruins of said base.

"The saber appeared to have been brought there quite some time ago and managed to get lost within the ruins of the place. It had been looted what looked like hundreds of times over. Everything was a mess, though we did manage to find it." She let out a laugh, thinking about the in between details of that day.

"Of course, that was not before we got attacked by a massive Taozin. It's like a giant, and I mean giant predatory centipede. It had its' sights set on eating us, its' hide lightsaber resistant. It was a close call, but we managed to scare it off long enough to grab the saber and escape before the rest of the ruins came crashing down from the disturbance and shifting of old stone and durasteel."

[member="Jack Sparrow"]

 

[Jack Sparrow]

The door chime rang then, and Jack helped Sera sit up before heading to the door. Opening it, he took a step back, raising his arms slowly. Sera could hear a low voice from outside the doorway.

Jack nodded. "Guards? No, mate. Gave them the night off. Nobody else in there but a...lady of the evening, if you take my meaning. As you're all in the hallway and she's been paid, no need to get her involved, eh?"

The voice spoke again.

"Of a certainty, mate, but I must say kidnapping the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic carries with it a certain responsibility. Sure you're up to the task? Do you think maybe we could eat first? There's enough for myself and all three of you." Jack paused, then raise his hands a bit higher. "Ah. No. Apparently not." He sighed. He really had worked up something of an appetite. "Fair enough, then. I reckon someone will come by later and wheel this all away."

Without turning, he stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him.

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

The Twi'lek listened carefully for a few moments as [member="Jack Sparrow"] spoke with what was clearly not the delivery folks. A hint of worry was validated by the sudden disappearance of Jack as he stepped outside and closed the door. Through the Force the woman listened as the man was quickly shoved and hurried down the hallway towards the exit and a likely awaiting speeder or transport.

Sera rolled her eyes. Nothing was ever just simple. Even a date couldn't go off without a hitch. Why is life always against me?

The woman stood, quickly pulled her lightsabers from the end table just a ways away and then reached for the door. It was then that it hit her, she was entirely ill prepared dress-wise for any sort of combative encounter. Still, there was little time to change, let alone gear up with any sort of battle armor for what was probably going to end poorly for the thugs that had just abducted the newly appointed Supreme Chancellor.

"Karking schuttas." She said aloud to nobody. Her hand twisted the knob on the door and out she ran after the group, and Jack.

 

[Jack Sparrow]

"Which is why it smelled of rancor placenta," came Jack's voice from around a corner.

"Shut up, Sparrow!" growled one of the captors.

"There's a 'Supreme Chancellor' in there," said Jack. [member="Seraphina Shel'tah"] heard a crack even from where she walked. "S'alright. Never mind," said the one-time pirate in a much duller voice. "Ah, m'fraid you're going to have to carry me now." A dull thud was heard, followed by muttered grumbings.

As Sera peered around the corner where the kidnappers had taken Jack, she was able to see her date being thrown over the shoulder of a particularly large Trianii, dressed, like his companions, in ill-tailored suits. It was clear they'd been attempting to pass as members of the upper-class, and had, up to this point, succeeded.

"No matter," said a clean-shaven Human man with slicked-back blonde hair and a nasal voice. "Anyone asks, we tell 'em poor Chancellor Sparrow had too much to drink. Ain't no one'll question that from someone like him." He coughed a chuckle.

The four started to move again, but as they did Sera saw Jack's head lift slightly, and one eye open to meet the Twi'lek's gaze. He managed a tiny grin and a quick wink before dropping his head once more.

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Spoiler

So sorry this took forever!

Sera crept along a short distance behind the small group, her eyes fixated on the man now carrying Jack and the smirk on his face, followed by a wink before falling limp again as he continued to be carried away.

What could they possibly want with him? He hasn't even been Supreme Chancellor for more than an hour!

As much as she wanted to quickly dispatch the thugs she needed to find out just what they wanted him for, lest he be at risk in the future. A couple of twists and turns down a number of small darkened streets allowed the brightly skinned Twi'lek to remain relatively inconspicuous. The biggest challenge was remaining unseen, or, at the very least, of no relative interest to the party just ahead.

Tucked away the woman kept her lightsabers for if she were in fact spotted, being noted as a Jedi would likely escalate the situation far more rapidly than if it were just assumed she were a regular civilian wandering about and creeping along in tow. Though if anything, the manner in which she was dressed would likely put her somewhere between escort and escaped slave of a wealthy owner with a bit of a taste for elegance in their living possessions.

[member="Jack Sparrow"]

 

[Jack Sparrow]

The three kidnappers entered a turbolift and disappeared from site. Some three minutes later they re-appeared on the street, but with Jack being carried between the tawny Trianii and a large, dark brown-skinned Human male with a curly afro. It was clear they'd shifted his position to make it look more like they were assisting a drunken friend than hauling a captive.

By this time Jack had shaken off any pretense of unconsciousness and was once more trying to engage his kidnappers.

"This is a new experience for me, gentlemen," he exclaimed. "I must know: are you taking me as a hostage? Simple kidnapping? Some sort of bargaining chip? To be honest, word of my stunning upset has barely had time to make the news. I'm not entirely sure what you might be up to."

"It's a private concern," said the man with the slick-back blonde hair. "Politics ain't got nothin' to do with it. This is revenge."

"Re...hm. Really? And whom, if I may be so bold as to enquire, is visiting this revenge upon me?"

"Teebo Lanb. 'Member him?"

"Ah, Teebo Lanb! He...he and I once...no."

"Well he remembers you, Mr. Sparrow."

"Supreme Chancellor."

"You got somethin' o' his, an' he means to have it back. Baylo, flag us down an air taxi."

Jack tried to look around, without making it look like he was looking around. He thought he glimpsed a flash of violet skin in the darkness. "Is this a good time to say something along the lines of 'You'll never get away with this?'"

The three men laughed. "Yeah?" remarked the Trianii. "An' who's gonna stop us?"



[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

As Sera followed quietly along behind the group, she simply couldn't help but smirk at the nonchalant demeanor of [member="Jack Sparrow"] smack dab in the middle of an abduction. A few thoughts trickled through her mind as to why that was. Could it simply be that he knew she wouldn't let something terrible happen to him? Or was he actually this cordial about all kinds of terrifyingly awful situations? Those ideas bounced around for a short while, before sprouting even more questions in the Twi'lek's mind. Does he not actually understand people will try to actually kill him? Does he just not care? Is he in shock from actually winning the Supreme Chancellor election? So many possibilities, and yet, she still had to perform the actual act of rescuing the newly elected Supreme Chancellor from the merry band of thugs carrying him down the street at a steady pace.

In an all too holofilm-esque manner, one of the men boldly exclaimed the question of who might actually stop them from the abduction in progress. Well, I guess that's my cue. The woman smiled, offering Jack a shake of the head that spoke volumes to the situation at hand. Pink hands lowered to her side, retrieving the pair of weapons from either hip with a firm grip. With a synchronous thumb movement, the familiar snap-hiss of both purple and green weapons illuminated the surrounding alley, casting light in all directions, bouncing to and from her own pinkish skin.

"In the name of the Galactic Republic, you will release the Supreme Chancellor immediately."

 

[Jack Sparrow]

"See? I warned you," said Jack nonchalantly. "Now why don't we all--woooooof!" The pirate gasped as he was thrown roughly to the ground.

The three kidnappers spread out slightly, clearly sizing up the threat level posed by [member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]. On the one hand, she was dressed like a dancer, and a very specific kind at that; one that generally involved poles, tips, and trips to champagne rooms. On the other, she was brandishing a pair of lightsabers, and from the way she held them appeared to know how to use them.

"Three on one!" barked the Trianii. "Get 'er!"

As they moved, Jack spun on his back like a heavy bass and drum beat were playing, and grabbed the ankle of the greasy blonde. Holding tightly with both hands, he yanked, pulling the man down to the pavement. Scissoring his legs, the Pirate Chancellor rotated, corkscrewing his body, then pivoted his center to land atop his foe. "Word to the wise, mate," said Jack. He threw a practiced fist into the kidnapper's face, knocking him instantly unconscious as his skull hit the permacrete. "Surrender."

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

"Three on one?" The woman questioned quizzically. "The way I see it, it's four on three." Smiling towards [member="Jack Sparrow"] the moment he grabbed one of the thugs by the ankle to send him unexpectedly toppling to the ground. "Two lightsabers, one Jedi, and one Supreme Chancellor." Except Sera wasn't quite a Jedi anymore. Not in the sense of maintaining the strict mantra of the Order, anyway. She had a bit more freedom to exercise her own unique discretion. Sure, she certainly wasn't going to kill them, but they would not soon forget the folly they'd made by abducting her date mid-evening and attempting to kill or maim her in the process.

The two drew blasters, a pair of rather snazzy and expensive looking ones at that, sparkling clean chromium with elongated barrels with hairpin triggers. Modified, highly illegal. Cute. The woman stood motionless, simply waiting. There was certainly no rush. The moment was upon her, and as expected, fingers squeezed triggers and fired volleys of bolts straight towards her with deadly intent. Forest green eyes partially closed, her focus entirely directed now at the rounds headed towards her at blinding speed. As if of their own volition, the two sabers snapped forward and into a flurrying blur of motion, colliding with each of the rounds sent forth and redirecting them up and safely away from her, as well as Jack and the assailants.

There was then a momentary pause in the assault, the two looking mildly nervous, though they continued to fire another volley of bolts at the Twi'lek. Instead of performing the same feat, instead the woman released her hold of the twin sabers, yet fall they did not. Instead, they continued to hover mid-air, at the same location she'd released them. A single hand extended, a small shimmer emanating from her hand as the bolts collided with an invisible shield, dissipating as quickly as they'd come. With their second attempt at gunning the woman down foiled, Seraphina released the bubble shield, and took on a more offensive approach. With one hand and some help of the Force, the blasters were violently ripped from the two men's hands and dropped at her feet. The next instant her mind focused solely on the two standing assailants, raising them into the air at a steady pace, until they floated helplessly over 15 feet in the air.

"You will release the Supreme Chancellor. You will leave immediately. And if you make one more attempt to harm myself or my friend here, you'll suffer. I promise you that."

 

[Jack Sparrow]

It seemed the street fight had drawn the attention of others, for before either of the floating thugs could stammer a reply, sirens could be heard approaching.

"Too late!" called Jack. He looked down to see his blond assailant stirring. Jack drew his foot back and kicked the man sharply across the temple, knocking him back into unconsciousness, before removing the man's blaster from its holster and training it on the other two.

"I want you to know, I'm very aroused right now," smiled Jack to Seraphina. "Assuming that's the local constabulary and we can offload our small-minded miscreants upon them, I shall take you back to your rooms and show you how grateful I am." He winked.

"Gentlemen, and you're not," said Jack to the pair still floating in the air, "when the police arrive, you shall give them a full confession. And you shall do so because if you do not, my incredibly powerful companion will use her nearly unparalleled Jedi sorcery to not only cause you to confess to my attempted kidnapping, but to also confess to anything else you might currently be guilty of but not yet arrested for. Savvy?"

The Trianii and the dark-skinned Human nodded nervously.

"Good. And when you reach your jail cells you can tell the other prisoners about the time that you almost kidnapped Supreme Chancellor Jack Sparrow."

*A Series of Law Enforcement Interviews and Several Identity Checks Later*

Jack spotted the delivery car two blocks from Sera's apartment and flagged it down.

"I'm not letting our dinner get away!" he vowed.

*Later Still*

Jack unpacked the still-warm bags of food onto the table. "All right. Now then. You tell me what all of this is, and then I shall reveal to you what those rather unsavory fellows were after. But, take off one article of clothing for each dish. If you run out of clothing, I'll follow suit." He gave his date an evil smile.


[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

"Well that is a rather one-sided game now isn't it?" She remarked, pointing out that Jack need only remove clothing should she come to find herself entirely devoid of clothing. "Never trust a politician they say. They're always playing games." She smirked, a hint of teasing to her tone. "And the odds are always stacked in their favor." The Twi'lek winked before finishing her retort. "I guess what they say is true."

Stretching arms and legs she shifted in her seat before turning and pointing to each item that [member="Jack Sparrow"] had taken from the bag and situated on the table. "That there," the woman started, before kicking off her footwear. "Is roast gornt. It's a pretty common dish around Ryloth, very delicious, even if some Twi'leks pretend to look down on it." She then pointed to the smaller sealed container to the left, "And that is Ruica. It's more of a side really. I'm guessing you're already familiar with it if you've traveled to Alderaan much." Biting her lower lip the woman considered for a moment before crossing her arms and pulling off the shirt she had been wearing. "Now, that other box there is Rycrit. It's a stew, but the place here serves it with a really nice heavy cream and a side of delicious cheesy flatbread." Pausing for a moment she counted the food. "Does that count as one complete dish? Or one and a side?" She shrugged, "Ah well" And with a small lift she slid off the bottoms she'd worn and let them fall to the floor. "Better?" There was a bit of laughter that followed.

 

[Jack Sparrow]

"Very much better. For me, certainly," admitted Jack with a laugh. "I must admit, that excitement earlier and...this excitement" he gestured grandly at Sera, "has given me quite the appetite. If I may?" The Supreme Chancellor took a bit of everything and arranged it on a dish. Before passing it to the Twi'lek, however, he took a napkin from the bag, unfolded it, and placed it across her naked lap, making sure to run his thumbs up the inside of her thighs and give a small squeeze as he did so. "Don't want any accidental burns," he explained. That done, he passed the plate over along with utensils before serving himself.

"Now, I promised you some information regarding the details around my attempted kidnapping," said Jack around a mouthful of Rycrit. "Blimey, this is delicious. So. Mr. Teebo Lanb is a very rich man with very low morals. He is also a gambler, and quite a good one too. He is not, however, infallible. And so it was that one night we found ourselves at a table in a place called the Wheel which, if you've never been there, I shall take you because it's rather wonderful. Mr. Teebo Lanb, being on the short end of credits, placed into the pot a chip containing coordinates to a prize he had spent many, many years pursuing. So sure was he of his victory that he bet said chip believing with all his heart that the universe would not be so cruel as to deny him the mountain of credits laid out before us." Jack paused to take a bite of the flatbread. "He was, of course, wrong. The universe was cruel. To him, and to the other five men and women seated at our particular table. To me, however, the universe shown like a rainbow of joy with a side of Idiot's Array, otherwise known as my unbeatable hand.

"Mr. Lanb railed at his loss and attempted to remonstrate me away from claiming my winnings. I, of course, schooled him in the difference between losing and being a good loser, and must have done so with a smile on my face, for Mr. Lanb went quite red in the face and needed to be forcibly escorted from the casino floor, shouting all the while about how I had not seen the last of him.

"What I had won, it turned out, was a map to a very old ship, and I bring it up now because given the history of your lightsaber, it might hold some interest for you.

"Have you ever heard of a ship called the Jade Shadow?"

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Sera graciously accepted the plate as was offered, thanking the man in kind as he set it down atop the napkin. Her muscles tightened as he wandered with his own hand. The Twi'lek's mouth opened to speak, though all that came forth was a quiet gasp. Green eyes flashed to [member="Jack Sparrow"] with a surprised yet pleased look. Once the man had relinquished his hold of her and saw to serving himself she joined in, taking a bit of the food into her mouth and enjoying the fresh food. Ter'Sar was one of the best places in the area, one that Sera found herself eating from on a regular basis while on world.

There was a devious smile to Jack's appearance as he recanted the tale, something he was no doubt proud of as this Mr. Lanb found himself out of a very prized map to an even more valuable vessel. Sera was familiar with quite a number of famous, and infamous starships in the known galaxy, her father having been a ship's mechanic for his entire life shared many tales of lore and myth to his daughter and son. Having been the CEO of a shipwright herself for many years it was nearly impossible to share a tale of a ship that the woman hadn't heard of, especially one belonging to such a prominent figure of both the Empire and New Republic. "That ship belonged to Mara Jade Skywalker. I didn't think it was still in tact." She rummaged through her mind to calculate its' age. "It must be almost 650 years old by now. Impressive that it hasn't been dismantled and scrapped. Wait..." She gave Jack a curious look. "You have that ship now?!"