Private Brilliant Disguise

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

"Alright, we have some time to kill now." Valery sat back in the pilot chair of the Bastion and relaxed. The auto-pilot would bring them closer to Empire space, from where she wanted to make the trip behind enemy lines. It had its risks, but the Bastion was equipped to make it through. While they waited, the two Nobles would have time to meditate, rest, even train — but Valery had a feeling that something else was going to happen. Colette had been a little quiet lately. Drawn into her own mind about something she likely needed to get off her chest.

What better chance than some time alone with her Mother?

"So..." Valery began, as she spun around until she was facing Colette. "How are things going with you? You've been doing well in training but I can't help but feel as if something is on your mind." She paused and looked at Colette not through the eyes of her Master, but as her Mother. It was a change that she knew Colette sometimes still needed to get used to, but Valery wanted her to always feel like they were family.

The little ones sure felt like that — they saw no difference between Colette and Vera. Just that one of them was older and maybe slightly less chaotic. They loved them both the same.

Colette ​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Ship travel was a lot easier these days. The nausea was gone and most of the dizziness was too. Colette still struggled with landings and take-offs, but the rest had become more or less an inconvenience more than anything.

"Oh, uh, no— well, yes— but it feels like it should be a no." Colette struggled as Valery chose the direct approach. It worked just about every time. "Between the inevitable attack on Coruscant and me kind of not wanting to harm people, it's just feeling a lot like… Well…"

"Maybe I should?" Colette whined and shook her head. "And then there's also…"

She exhaled.

"I- Look- Uh." She said and shifted her eyes away from Valery. "I love Shan, okay, but—"

"But sometimes I feel like I don't—"

"This is stupid."

"I feel like I don't love him enough. And it really scares me."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

While Colette stumbled over her words and tried to find the right ones, Valery remained quiet. She wasn't judging her at all for struggling with this. The question had perhaps been unexpected, and it wasn't easy to talk about the things that troubled you. Even to your family.

Perhaps, at times, talking to family was even more difficult.

Finally, Colette opened up about how she felt, and Valery turned to look at her, "Are you worried that he'll leave you? Or that he's not the one for you? Or...?" Valery left it open and drew no conclusions. She merely wanted to help guide her, so she'd understand what it was she really felt so worried about.

The consequences it would have.

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"I don't know?" Colette recoiled on habit. "He's really sweet, and he's never done anything to hurt me, but he's also really attached to me."

And in a sense maybe that was the problem. Or well, what Colette thought might be a problem.

"We had a small fight about how he wants a home, and how I really don't want one." She said. "And then we never really closed it, just changed subject."

"But it's been nagging on me for weeks now, and I just feel like he puts so much of himself in what we do and I just… Don't."

"I don't have his need for physical affection, I don't see these obvious love-things that he does, and I feel like—"

Now that was a long exhale. Colette sighed and rubbed her hand against her neck with a very deep frown.

"I feel like… If it ever came to doing the right thing or letting the other die, he would choose me over doing the right thing."

"... And I wouldn't do that for him. I—"

"I take being a jedi very seriously, and I want to be a Jedi before I am anything else. That is my duty."

"And that means being a Jedi is so much more important to me right now than being Shan's partner. And it hurts that we aren't on the same level, and that I don't know how to tell him that without maybe hurting him."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

Shan had already talked to her about living together? Valery did her best to not show it, but her inner Mom wasn't quite fond of that idea just yet. The day that her kids would leave the nest wasn't too far away in the future, but it'd be a bittersweet day. One she wasn't quite ready for yet.

More importantly, it seemed Colette wasn't ready for it either.

"I know it hurts," Valery began, as she inched closer to place a hand on the girl's shoulder. She was ready and willing to pull her into an embrace, but she'd give Colette the choice for that kind of comfort, "But it sounds like you're both ready for different things in a relationship. Living together is a very big step that a lot of people underestimate. You're no longer seeing each other when both of you want that close company."

"You're going to be sharing a space when you might need a moment alone as well. It takes a lot of communication and willingness to work through arguments to make it work." She hadn't experienced much trouble moving in with Kahlil, but their unique bond often brought them on the same page without any arguments needed.

"If he really cares for you, and I'm sure that he does, he'll understand and respect the time you need to take steps forward. But it's also possible to conclude that you both want or need different things from a relationship. They're not all the same, after all."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Colette let herself be hugged when the offer came up. It made things a little easier, but not by a lot. She listened to what Valery had to say and most of it felt wise, but at the same time that knot in the teenager's belly just didn't seem to want to let up.

"But I don't want to give him what he needs." Colette frowned. "Or it feels like it. Or I… I do, but it doesn't feel natural sometimes. And like, how can he wait for something that might not even come around?"

Colette let out a frustrated groan.

"And then I get worried that maybe I am just telling myself all these things because of how I was treated at home, and that just makes everything even more frustrating."

"I thought that love would be this simple thing, and it's ending up being a lot of hard work, and I don't know if I can do that or not. Or maybe I do and then my mind is all… Argh!"

"Do you know what I mean? Am I making any sense at all?"

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

"You're making sense... sort of. As much as love and affection can even make logical sense." Valery briefly tightened the hug and rubbed along the side of Colette's shoulder with her hand. "Love is a feeling that we can't really control, but the relationships that form from them are within our control. As you said, they require a lot of hard work from both sides to last. It's okay if you don't feel ready for that yet."

"It's a huge commitment." One that many only felt ready for much later in life.

"You're young, Colette. There aren't many your age who can commit to a serious relationship and make it work. Moving in together... well, I personally think Shan is moving very fast with that. If you're not ready for it or you don't want it, then that's a line you have to draw for yourself, and one that's very reasonable to set." Valery had moved in relatively quickly with Kahlil, but they were in their 30s when they did, and it was something they had both wanted at that stage of the relationship.

"As for Shan — but you as well — it's possible that he doesn't want to wait forever. It's possible that you don't want to wait or change how you feel about certain things. In some cases, it means you have to make a compromise, but in others, it means that it might not be the perfect match."

"Loving someone doesn't mean that you'll be perfect partners long-term."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

The hug lingered until Valery had eventually said what she wanted to say. Colette let out a soft sigh as she separated from her mother with a slow nod. Not because she understood all of it as much as she felt as if she understood most of it to some extent.

Shan and Colette — at least as far as things were going right now — were a good match but it wasn't guaranteed to stay that way. The difficult part was the idea of compromise in a sense. Colette had an utterly naïve world view that wasn't necessarily mirrored by Shan. It had already caused some friction between them and it wasn't friction that Colette felt particularly inclined to adjust to.

Was that the place where the seedling of all this doubt had been planted? It was not. Intimacy was just something that she wasn't comfortable with no matter if it was physical or just social. It was perhaps more accurate to say that the seed had always been there and parts of Shan's personality had simply given it the soil to grow in.

"So… We will most likely grow apart then." Colette frowned. "Unless one of us change."

Colette and Valery both already knew who that 'one of us' truly meant, and it wasn't anyone sitting in the particular cockpit at this particular moment. It put an unfair amount of pressure for Shan to conform or not, which also was just another layer of guilt and doubt for Colette to handle.

"I respect that he wants to be a 'real' doctor, but I also…"

"I also really, really wish he wouldn't go. And that's not something I have any right to ask of him. Or anything that he should change just because of me. Not when we're this young."

Colette rubbed her index finger and thumb against her brows in frustration.

"Things are just too hectic for all of this right now." She said and yet caught herself in the excuse. "Or are they?"

"Yes. I mean. We are about to go to war. But then…"

Colette sighed again.

"I hate how annoyingly complicated all of this is. You and Kah-… Dad make it seem so easy."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

"It isn't easy. Your Dad and I met when I was 30. At that point, I was at a very different phase in my life than you or Shan are right now. We were ready to be together and to make compromises and figure things out." Valery tried to reassure her. "Not long after I met him, I disappeared for about a year to figure things out for myself post-stasis. A year and he decided to wait for me. That wasn't easy, but everything did work out for us." Valery thought about that time with Kahlil Noble for a moment, and still barely understood why he had waited that long.

No, she did understand — he loved her and they were meant for each other. Now, Colette and Shan had to figure out if that applied to them as well, or if perhaps they were not yet ready for these bigger decisions in life.

"It's impossible for me to tell you with absolute certainty whether things will work out or not. I don't want to give that impression," she added after a moment.

"But if you decide that you're not ready for this, also know that it isn't the end. We all change and grow in life, in ways we can't possibly expect. So perhaps something will change in the future. But for now, you both must make decisions that you feel comfortable with. Whether that's figuring out a future together or apart."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"Yeah…" Colette sighed. "I mean, he does have a padawan. So it's not like he is going away NOW, but…" She shook her head. "It still weighs on my mind, you know? Some days it's like this, but not always, and it just… Confuses me."

"I think—" Colette let in a deep breath and sigh. "I think in reality, it's that I have no excuse why I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. He's great. Anyone would be happy to be with him, but I just…"

She tried to speak but the words failed her. Colette raised her arms in defeat and let them fall back into her lap. It was Colette being stupid, but in some regards perhaps there was still some truth in it as well. Not that she didn't love herself, but she had most certainly been taught that she was never to expect it.

"It will just have to get more obvious as I go." She said and shook her head yet again. "I'll talk to Shan when there's time."

"What's our task here and now, today, in the… Mission."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

"I know," Valery confirmed with a warm smile. "When you're ready, you should talk to him again and work things out. Shan is a great guy and the two of you have definitely created a special bond. But there will always be differences to overcome in a relationship, and it's also possible that some can't be overcome. Or that they can't be overcome yet." Valery wasn't going to draw a conclusion about where their relationship was heading.

They were a cute couple and she'd support them until the end, but if either one of them wasn't ready or if they couldn't find a way through certain obstacles, then she'd respect that all the same.

Most importantly, they needed to communicate.

"We're going behind enemy lines to gather some intel. The Alliance will soon be striking back to reclaim lost worlds, but in order to do that, we need to get a better understanding of our enemy."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

It was basically a switch. Colette breathed in worry and exhaled focus. The time for personal problems were gone. Now was the time for the greater good and doing what was right. Was it that simple? When the other end of the spectrum was a band of raving savage madmen? Yes.

"Right." She said and nodded. "So we're going in; the two of us, probably under disguise, getting an idea of what is going on, and then sneaking on out again. To oversimplify, I mean."

"You'll get the info, I'll keep an eye out and help track potential leads down. Once we know that the coast is clear, we'll be out before they are even aware we were there."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

"That's the plan," Valery said and chuckled. Colette made it sound easy — and in theory it was — but she was expecting things to not go according to plan. Intelligence gathering often meant taking risks to get closer to a target, or exposing yourself in order to discover the data you were after. One step too far, one mistake, and the enemy could discover who you really are. But with Valery's experience and Colette by her side, she was confident.

They'd be careful and organized, but willing to take the necessary risks.

"I've got some civilian clothes with me. We should get changed and we'll be on our way soon. Our first stop will be Empress Teta," Valery said with just a faint frown. There was a lot of history on the planet for her, so going back while it was under enemy control didn't really excite her.

But it had to be done.

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"Right. Teta. The Coteau family represents it, I think. Or well, represented." Colette said.

There had been some business here that Colette had been sent to attend to a while back. Seemed almost funny to think how much had changed since then if not for the fact that the change was a bad one. Colette tried her best not to let her opinion on the sith get too tainted by those around her, but when it was more and more posed as an existential threat it was kind of hard not to.

Not to any extent where Colette wanted to kill them for existing or anything, but most certainly enough to make her think twice about what she would do if she ever met one. Call it a bridge potentially burned in advance.

"This will be easy if we just keep calm and collected." Colette was really just speaking with a sense of false confidence. She was a poor liar and this was known, and she was very bad at making up convincing stories on the go.

Really, it was more a lie she told herself because she needed to believe in it.

"What kind of information is it that we're getting? I mean, are we just picking things up or do we also have to scout things out for ourselves?"

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

Valery wasn't going to tell her that it wouldn't be easy. Colette knew that herself, but she was trying to keep herself steady. Empress Teta was a planet not too different from Coruscant. It had many layers to it and was densely populated, which made it easier to hide in the shadows. However, the Empire tightened its fist to gain control over the planet and its citizens, so every step they took on the surface was full of risk.

Especially with one detail Valery hadn't yet mentioned.

"I want to look at a few defensive positions that we'd have to knock out if the Alliance decides to attack. They're not easy to sneak up on, and we do have one other obstacle. There's a curfew on the planet now, so our time is limited."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Right. That did put a rod in the spokes so to say. Scouting military targets during a curfew made for challenging work, but it was nothing that the duo couldn't handle together. After all, this was Valery Noble, and Colette herself wasn't a stranger to following leads. One of them was experienced, the other one was quick to learn.

"So, we need to find the patrol patterns in the areas around the base." Colette nodded. She had read on strategy and tactics since coming to the Jedi. As far as reading went it was really one of the few concepts that she actually enjoyed reading about.

"That's a few days of work. Unless you know someone."
"Then we'll also have to assess how well-armed they are."
"... And we can't do any of this without being seen after curfew."
"... Aaaand we need to have at least three different escape plans ready."
"Maybe a contingency in case one of us get caught."

The girl would continue for a while unless stopped. She was deep in her internal assessment as it was.

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

Valery chuckled and interrupted after a little while, "Don't worry, we're going to take our time to assess the situation. Escape plans will depend on the circumstances we find there, and if one of us gets caught..." she paused because it was a legitimate question that needed to be answered. The answer just wasn't one she really liked.

"If either one of us is caught, we should not attempt a rescue until we've first reported it back to the Temple." If they immediately rushed to save the other, there was a risk of both being captured. If that were to happen, it'd take very long before the Jedi back at the Temple would know something was wrong.

This was, after all, a longer assignment.

"Other than that, it's best not to plan too far ahead. We're not sure what we'll find but I am sure that it'll change any plan we make now."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

It was just natural to adopt a more pragmatic approach for Colette. Nothing was ever truly set in stone, the wheels of time kept churning, and people died. She would have died a long time ago if she was afraid of death, and this was really no different. If her own capture meant that Valery could keep her life then it was a worthwhile risk to take given the reason that they were here and who Valery was.

It wasn't really to put value on either of their lives as much as it was to acknowledge that due to the experiences and the knowledge that Valery had picked up over her career there was no justifying that opposite trade off. Not to mention what she was a symbol for as the Grandmaster of something.

Colette was just… Her daughter, sort of. No blood, no genetic red line, no real spot on the family tree. In the greater vision of it all, Colette was still a complete nobody, and she accepted that just as much now as she had before. These days she was just a nobody with a clearer purpose and less lies.

"I guess you're right." Colette said and nodded. "I don't think we can plan too far ahead, but I see what you mean."

"Don't know how the people will react to us. If they'll think we abandoned them or if they would be happy to see us make a plan to return."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Lightsabers

The plan was made but in truth, Valery wasn't sure if she'd keep her word if Colette was captured. She mostly didn't want Colette to come for her if she was captured herself, and this pragmatic approach usually worked on the girl. But if her own daughter was captured by an enemy this ruthless?

She'd be an unimaginable threat to any of the people holding her.

"I think the reactions will be mixed but I'm not expecting anybody to get in our way. Regardless of how they feel about the Alliance, they will hate the Empire far more." Valery turned in her seat, as the ship dropped from Hyperspace. As expected, there was an immediate demand for clearance codes, but Valery had prepared those beforehand.

One of the few things she could plan for.

"And uh, stay close, alright?" She looked at Colette with that familiar, motherly smile. "We're at our strongest when we're together."

Colette​

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Made sense. If the option was between problematic democracy or crushing fascism, Colette certainly would have preferred the former. People could be conditioned to think that nothing better existed under oppression, but the weight would eventually become too much. Even Colette had learned that much from the history books.

"Of course," She said to Valery. "You're the one taking point."
"I'll go get changed."

The rest of the process was slow. Codes got double checked, but ultimately accepted and let the duo descend onto the planet's surface.

Colette was wearing a far more casual outfit when she re-emerged from her brief impromptu meditation to still her nerves from the turbulence of landing. A neat tunic, world-worn, rolled up to her elbows for practical reasons. Pants with a small tool belt, and a dirty pair of boots. All in all she could easily pass for a worker of… Some sort.

"Well?" She asked as she stepped out. "Convincing enough, or?"