Private Before I go to War

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Judah nodded with a chuckle. He was showing off, and he knew it. It was dumb, but the Jedi was in a playful mood. Even if they had covered a wide range of topic for the evening. They had settled that Judah was going to war. Damris would stay away for the night. Malcoma had no intention of taking her business legitimate. Now it seemed they were about to cover the topic of dancing.

He took the offered hand, and pulled the woman close. His other hand wrapped around her waist and settled naturally to where it should. Judah could honestly say it had been some time since he had danced, and he had never really done so formally. Even with Kat the most he could recall was the occasional movement in the kitchen or living room. He was certainly no professional. The only hope Malcoma's toes had was the fact he still practiced his katas every morning.

Judah moved slow. The baritone of his voice hummed a tune that was familiar to him. He had no idea if Malcoma would know or recognize it, but that did not matter. They just needed something to move to. It was more about the moment than the song. It was about how close they were and what memories they would make before they were separated by war once more.

"You smell nice..." he complimented her as he took the time to memorize the scent. "Reminds me of my flowerbeds on Corellia."

Those were happy days.

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

She did not recognize it, but she swayed to it all the same.

"There are more alluring scents," she said. "But this one's very sentimental to me. It was a gift, from someone very special to me. Her name was Kandra."

The name of Malcoma's custom holdout pistol probably made a lot more sense now. He had likely caught a glimpse of the weapon on at least one of the occasions they worked together, and the name Kandra engraved in delicate High Basic script along one side of the Haysian gold barrel.

As she continued, her voice softened as if handling this memory with the same care her hands would a rare vase. "I was a slave three times. For two of them, I was with her. After we escaped that life twice together. On the first anniversary of being free for the second time, we bought each other gifts. She got me my first bottle of gardenia perfume."

Silence fell over the two. Mal allowed it to stretch a few moments before adding, "She had good taste. In perfume at least, not in men. But I don't think that's possible..."

For another full moment, Mal seemed to look right through Judah, like she was back on Coruscant all those years ago, and she was. Then a particular blink of her eyelids brought her back to her Hapes apartment. Delayed recognition of what she had just said twisted her facial features.

"Often possible, I mean."

The correction was sloppy, especially for her, but she wasn't well-practiced. She didn't make a habit of repeating herself, let alone rephrasing herself.

Judah Lesan​

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Gardenia. He would have to remember that. Maybe it was because he had been married once before, but Judah knew tucking that information away to surprise her with a gift when she least expected it would pay even bigger dividends later. It was not about giving to get, not at all. Judah was the kind to give those he loved a gift simply for the thrill of it. He would refuse to deny the befits that came from it too well. It would be foolish of him to deny something which was a fact. Even with her past, Judah knew Mal could appreciate a gift given with the right motives.

Her custom weapon was an example of that. She named it after the person who gave her the perfume in the first place.

Judah had the sense this was not something to ask any more about. Normally a retort along the lines of wanting to thank the woman would be in order, but Judah got the impression that there was a reason the blaster was named for her. People did not after name objects after the living. Maybe he was speculating, but Judah did not see the need to deviate from it.

Besides, Malcoma was using the past tense. Something happened.

They stopped suddenly. Judah looked her in the eye. She seemed to trail off somewhere. His glare was playful, but her choice of words gave an estimation of the majority of his gender. She recovered quickly, and Judah just kissed her forehead. He knew what she meant.

"Happy I'm not one of those ones."

His arm pulled the blonde closer as he returned to humming his tune. If this was the last few moments they would spend together, Judah wanted them to be happy ones. Losing Kat taught him one thing, every moment mattered. He got a lot of things wrong with her. The Master Shadow knew he had not been around enough. They had fought about that so much. Judah had simply convinced himself she did not understand. Red did. That was the problem. Judah had her the enemy when he didn't need to. He was not going to make that mistake with Mal.

Did her comment sting a little? Sure. Yet that was her truth, and her past.

"I get it you know. You don't ever have to apologize for something your past says... hmm? Right now it is just me and you. You're safe with me. I'm gonna keep reminding you until you finally realize it too..."

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

What she said next might salve the sting a little.

"Of course you're not, darling."

It did stop well short of an actual apology, as Mal rarely did those, but the proper intent was behind it.

"Safety," she echoed with a edge of scoff to her voice, not to be rude but to insinuate that she didn't think much of the concept. "We seem to have a very different understanding of the state. A relationship that has any meaning is never quite safe, is it?" She lowered her head a bit then looked back up at him in a gesture of admission. "But I know what you mean."

They moved for a couple of minutes without speaking, Judah's hummed cadence the only sound around them until Malcoma broke in again.

"I'm a cynical woman," she began with an even-keeled voice, matter-of-fact. "It's not personal." A quiet sigh escaped from her. "I know that it's off-putting. What I don't know is why you put up with it anyway."

She wanted to continue to tell him that he couldn't fix that part of her—or really any part, but especially that one—but she didn't. She liked that he cared enough to try.

Judah Lesan​

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

Judah was tempted to shoosh the blonde as she opened up about her cynicism. He quickly suppressed the urge as both wisdom and experience told him that would be a bad idea. There was no need to agree, but there was also no need to just shut her down. Judah knew the truth. She was a cynical woman. Judah even understood why she was. All of this was well known before either of them made the decision to enter into the relationship they had.

"Oh Malcoma Hesse, I am afraid to me, you will always be a dangerous woman," Judah chuckled slightly. "I find that where you are concerned all rationality gets tossed out the window."

He kissed cheek.

"But it will always be worth it."

He let her question linger in the air between them for a moment. Judah found a small amount of happiness in the fact his behavior and acceptance of her was still a mystery in its own way. He knew the answer, of course, or at least had been asking himself the question which would provide the best answer. He cared for her. Judah would even dare say he was falling in love with the woman. For now, however, the best answer was something a bit more obvious.

"I said yes to you. This is who you are. I can not change that about you than you can change the fact that I run headlong into danger."

Judah stopped their dance and pulled Malcoma as close to himself as he possibly could. His arms wrapped around as he took in a deep breath. Gardenia. He was memorizing the scent.

"There is no rational reason that we should work... other than we do. If your nature was going to scare me off, I'd have already been long gone by now. You're stuck with me, blondie."

 

[Malcoma Hesse]

"But it will always be worth it."

She smiled but disagreed, "No, that seems like a problem." There was no reason to deny that truth. She was sure that his feelings for her caused, or at least could cause, problems for him, especially given her life of crime, just as her feelings for him caused her the inverse set of problems.

When opposites attracted in the holoflicks, the screenplays rarely took things to the extreme that Judah and Malcoma's relationship exemplified.

"But," she added after a few moments, "it does keep me and the girls out of court or prison. We..." She paused again. No. Not just we. "I appreciate it."

They stopped dancing and he pulled her close. "You're stuck with me, blondie."

It was a promise, a sweet one.

Mal lowered her voice, her smile morphing into a teasing smirk. "Don't threaten me, Judah," she warned, tone simultaneously light and heavy. She was mostly playing with him, but a bead of seriousness was buried somewhere within—just because she was always a bit serious.

Her eyes watched his with a certain anticipation.

Judah Lesan​

 

[Judah Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Malcoma Hesse

It was a problem, and one Judah did not want to speak out loud. Mal took the initiative to be the honest of the pair this time. He sighed in an agreeing way. She would know he was not about to counter her argument, but she would also pick up on the fact it was one of the things they both overlooked to make what they were to each other work in a world where they should not. Judah would be the first to admit it if pressed. Things only barely made sense with Katara. She had been his side of law and order at least.

Judah let himself laugh.

"Now now, Malcoma... let's not suggest that a Jedi would bend the rules a little to prevent such a horrid outcome for a gang of ruthlessly beautiful women."

He winked. Her correction to "I" from "we" did not go unnoticed. His smile widened. Judah knew that the girls were as much a part of the blonde as JJ and Kat would always be part of him. Yet, the difference of two small subtle words had a much larger impact where their relationship was concerned. What they had was meaningful and significant, even if it was far from normal or traditional. Was there even such a thing these days? War made for stranger things than what they had found with each other.

Judah kissed her forehead.

She pulled away and looked in his eyes. Was she searching for assurance. He had made a promise after all. It was the kind one made when suggesting they were in this for the long haul. Judah was. Though, he knew he had much less time in the galaxy than she likely did. The Jedi nodded.

He reached up for the chain that was always around his neck. Judah and Kat had forgone wedding rings. Instead she had given him something of value to her family. JJ did not seem as though he was in no rush to settle and find anyone. There was no daughter to pass the heirloom to. Even as he unclasped the chain and put the pendant around Mal's neck Judah knew this was the only decision that made any sense.

"No threats then... just a promise. Hold onto this for me in the meantime... hmm?"

He didn't wait for an answer. The next moment he simple chuckled and ran into the kitchen to save the baked goods before the completely burned.