Private At The Break Of Dawn

[Mysa Snowstrider]

Heavenheim​

Midvinter​

Just Before Dawn​

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There was just the thinnest line of light breaking on the horizon, not enough to obscure the stars but enough to mark the steady start of day. The streets of Heavenheim were almost eerily quiet, save for the whistling winter gale, and few had yet to rise. There were the bakers, and the lamplighters, already hard at work, but for the most part? Nothing.​

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As she made her way through the City, clad in a cloak still too large despite how much she had grown since receiving it, Mysa Snowstrider felt a certain trepidation rising within her chest. Behind her, loyally close and remarkably trained, Felix pattered; no longer a kitten, he had grown into himself and his paws were formidable. Neither looked as they had when last they had been sighted, several years had passed since then.​

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Longer since she had approached the City proper.​

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A woman of the wilds, now, that's what she had become known as, a hunter in the forest that left barely any trace.​

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Yet here she was.​

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She halted at the foot of the great statues, the former High Kings standing tall above her. Thrand, her Grandpa, the first person in this entire Universe to see her as a person, to embrace and welcome her and treat her as his own flesh and blood... then Thyrian. He was not her Father by blood, but the annuls did not write of such. She was the Phoenix's daughter just as Thebba was. Two great losses among many, for she had lost her fair share of friends along the way too.​

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Too many. Being here was almost too much.​

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She was grateful Heavenheim had not been founded atop Thainbroek, or else the ghosts would have choked the air from her lungs and she might never have returned at all.​

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Thurion Heavenshield ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

He'd still been in bed on the hour of her departure, just barely conscious enough to return her farewell kiss. In the years since, Thurion had developed a habit of rising earlier than most, for perhaps this time he'd be awake to stop her walking out that door. The most harrowing moment of any day was to stir in those early hours and still be too late to save her. The most painful moment was to get out of bed at all, knowing another day would pass without her by his side. He'd take what solace he could in the company of his many children and grandchilden, but there was a longing in the old patriarch that none could seem to remedy.

So it was that he stalked the darklit streets this morning, rising in time to greet his father as had become a daily ritual. The fineries of kingly make and the bulk of the warrior's panoply were replaced with a common grey cloak, for when he sought the company of his long lost kin, he did so not as the Lion King of Midvinter, but as a son and brother. As that small boy, orphaned all over again.

Only, as he strode into the vast courtyard of stone yet to become flush with life and noise, he found he was not alone. There was another come to pay homage, it would seem. His heart skipped a beat upon recognising the oversized fur cloak and white hair, and was rendered immobile, frozen at the sight of her. The large frír by her side had all but faded into background noise.

"M... M..." he tried to speak her name, but was so overcome with emotion that he'd been rendered speechless. "...Mysa."

He pulled back his hood, revealing a face far more haggard and world-weary than she would recall. The joy he'd been able to instill in others would seem all but extinguished from his eyes, and there were streaks of white in the faded gold of his hair. But he was still her 'papa', towering in height and oh-so-gentle in demeanor. Thurion sunk to his knees and held out his arms, as if she were the little girl of yesteryear.

"My child...!"

Mysa Snowstrider ​

 

[Mysa Snowstrider]

As she stood before the towering visage of two of the three most important men in her life, Mysa felt the weight of all she had held pressing upon her shoulders. In an instance she was set upon her knees, head bowed, back bent, as a heavy grief washed over her.​

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"Dawn and Phoenix" she whispered, as she began a prayer she had spoken most mornings for as long as she could recall, "Hear my--"​

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"M.. M.. Mysa."​

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She turned her head sharply, and before she could react the towering form of her most beloved Papa sank before her. There was no hesitation from the girl, no flicker of doubt or fear or ... anything. She immediately threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in close.​

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"Papa" she cried, eyes at once prickling with tears which soon trailed hot lines down her cheeks, "Oh, Papa, I am sorry. I am so sorry."​

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Thurion Heavenshield ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion held his daughter with the firmness of a mountain, yet the gentleness of a cloud. A grasp none could free themselves of, nor would they want to. Within that embrace was the safest place on any world, just as he had once felt in the arms of another, once upon a time. Although not of his blood nor a bearer of his name, Mysa was his child in every way that mattered. Even when she was reunited with her creator and became part of House Hearthfire, she was still considered a Heavenshield and would more often come to him and Coci for counsel than Kära and his dearly departed brother.

He placed his vast hand behind her head that she might sink into his chest and disappear entirely from the rest of the world, consoling her as if she were his baby girl all over again. "You have nothing to apologise for," he said calmly, tenderly kissing the top of her head. "I was afraid you would never return. That my Snowflake would lose herself forever." He cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears with his large thumbs, looking down into her icy blues.

"I should have been there for you, the day you found out. I should have taken you in my arms and held you just like this. But I was too far gone in my own grief at the time," he confessed. "It took me a long time to pick up the pieces, and there are still pieces to find. Now, we can help find them together."

Thurion placed Mysa on his knee, facing the pair of statues. In the centre, the Bringer of Dawn standing vigil with legendary greatsword gripped firmly, head bowed in prayer. To his right, the Phoenix looking ahead steely expression, a finger pointing towards the future. And to the Dawnbringer's left, an empty third pedestal devoid of inscription.

He didn't dwell on the grim reminder of things to come, but rather beckoned Felix closer and was almost knocked off-balance by the large feline bunting up against him. "My, how you've grown," Thurion found it in him to let out a chuckle. "I recall a time when you'd fit inside the palm of my hand, now look at you!"

Mysa Snowstrider ​

 

[Mysa Snowstrider]

Mysa melted into it as though summer had sprung upon the snowy plains, that warm and tender embrace that so firmly seized her in its hold. Time was wicked away, until woman became girl, and girl became the littlest one who had come to him so many moons ago, wide eyed with curiosity and fright.​

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The child she had been had been certain he would send her away, back to her Creator or worse, and yet... he hadn't. Neither had his Coci.. his dear, sweet Coci. They had embraced her, their children had embraced her, just as he embraced her now.​

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"S-She... is t-truly gone?" Mysa whimpered, as her Papa brought them eye to eye; she could see the patriarch's grief, feel it deep within her bones, even before his response was given. "Oh, Papa..." Her sobs were deep but open, and the moment he allowed it she burrowed her face back into his shoulder and clung tightly to the back of his cloak. "I have been so lost without her, without you. I could not face you; I am not myself."​

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As she was shifted from her knees to that familiar lap, Mysa leaned back against him and looked upon the late High Kings of Midvinter. She refused to glance in the direction of that empty pedestal, acknowledging only the pair as a finished product. One hand lifted to touch her Papa's cheek, his beard felt strange beneath her touch, she was not used to its presence, its length, but she flexed her fingers all the same and sought comfort from it.​

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"Together" she finally whispered, even as Felix stalked closer to nudge against the Lion, chuffing and headbutting affectionately as he went.​

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Thurion Heavenshield ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Yes," said the king, solemn and still loathe to accept the answer. "I and others have scoured the stars in search of her, but to no avail." He thought of Connel Vanagor and his long search, and how the poor boy had blamed himself for failing to locate her.

Thurion caressed her cheek, set her back down, then placed a hand on her shoulder to use as leverage as he rose to his feet to the sound of knees popping. "Did you ever think him unkind," asked the Lion and stepped towards his brother's memorial, looking up into that stern yet caring face. "For laying claim to you, I mean?" He slowly turned towards her.

"Do you think we should have fought harder... to keep you?" There was shame in those words, for to speak them was to confess his own feelings on the matter. "Was he a good father to you, Mysa?" He feared idolising his brother clouded him to the true nature of the man, and though the sons and daughters of Thyrian had fared well in life he'd never glimpsed what kind of father he was.

Mysa Snowstrider ​

 

[Mysa Snowstrider]

She let that hang in the air between them, that certainty, that loss, incapable of putting words to the way it left her feeling. Tears still fell but the sobs themselves had subsided, leaving her hollow and numb. She was grateful then for the lion's warm embrace, though it did not last nearly long enough for her liking.​

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Then she was on her feet, helping him rise, and harder questions filled that once vacant space.​

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"I wish every day he had not taken me from you" she said in full sincerity. "He was not a bad man, but she was his world and I... I do not believe she really enjoyed having me around as much as she thought she might. I saw how they were with Thrand, with Theryn... it never felt that way for me."​

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The girl could not meet his gaze, instead she looked to the ground beneath their feet and frowned in thought. Her heart thudded horribly in not just her chest but her throat.​

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"I do not blame you, I do not blame Mamma Coci, but I do not think I can forgive him or Kära for taking me from you. I have not felt whole since."​

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Thurion Heavenshield ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

How those words stung him. To hear his own child speak such of the man he admired so was heartbreaking, and to not have known Mysa's feelings on the matter until this many years later. Another black mark of negligence on his part. "He was my big brother," he turned to face the statue anew. His words still carried the adoration of a child. "Returned from the dead, decades later. Were I not so overwhelmed by our sudden reunion, I would have fought their decision. I truly believed he could do no wrong, including caring for you."

Thurion stepped toward the pedestal of the Phoenix, placed a hand against his lips, then reached up and touched the tip of Thyrian's stone boot with it. "I will always love and cherish him. Both of them. But they were not perfect men, nor perfect fathers. None of us have a right to that title." He stepped back to stand beside Mysa, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"And as for Kära, I will not make excuses for her. As your... creator, one can surmise she felt protective, or rather possessive, of you. I will say, however, she could not have known then she would forsake you in favour of her natural-born children. Even I cannot fathom the workings of a mother's heart." While wholly unfair to Mysa, it seemed only natural a mother would show preference to their trueborn over otherwise aquired additions to their family.

"We never thought differently of you, you know. You were still our daughter — a Heavenshield in all but name," he said, offering a kind smile. He paused then, brows furrowing while trying to find the courage to broach the next subject.

"I... I had a crypt built for your mother, some time after... Would you like to see her?"

Mysa Snowstrider ​

 

[Mysa Snowstrider]

"I know" she whispered, "and I do not mean to speak ill of him, I mean him no ill will, not in life nor in death, I just... I wish I had been wanted, truly wanted. I felt that way with your Father, and I felt that way with you, but not with them, no matter how hard they tried in the beginning... and certainly not by the end."​

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While Thurion was ahead of her, in the shadow of that statue, Mysa wrapped her arms around herself and let out a hollow exhale. "But she did birth me" Mysa clarified, of Kära, "If she told you otherwise, then she lied. She gave birth to me just as she did my siblings, but she did not hold me like I was her babe. Do you know how it was before? Before she died, to be reborn?"​

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Mysa had not spoken on it in any great lengths, especially not where Kära was specifically concerned. "The isolation, the... distance she formed between us. She did not treat me like the others, because she never saw me as one of her own, not really. I was just... an experiment for her. Whether he knew about that, I don't know, but if he did he never came for me, and if he didn't then... she lied to him too."​

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She almost shied away from him when the Lion stood beside her once more, but that arm around her shoulder was her undoing and she burrowed back against him as though no time at all had passed.​

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"I know" she said once more, "I have always felt your love, your care, I have always seen you as my Papa, and Mamma..." Her voice broke, and when Thurion spoke of Coci's tomb in the aftermath the girl's head lifted and her icy eyes welled up.​

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"Please" she whimpered, "Please, take me to her."​

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Thurion Heavenshield ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion hung his head as he listened to what was effectively Mysa's childhood trauma, inflicted upon her by the two people he loved the most prior to meeting the woman who would become his wife. He'd known about Kära's time as a feared and influencial Sith Lord; how cold and ruthless she could be, even to those she professed to love. It was a side to her Thurion had never known, nor been on the receiving end of. Yet even in his darkest dreams could he have suspected such atrocious conditions in the Hearthfire household, directed towards his own child.

He'd always been naïve where friendships were concerned; too trusting in anyone perceived to be noble in spirit and kind at heart. Though loathe to criticise members of his extended family, one of whom was no longer here to defend himself, the Lion's brow furrowed in a moment of distaste, as if having tasted something sour.

"She never told me she carried you, gave birth to you," he admitted. "All she ever told me was that you were not conceived. To be honest, the details of your creation never mattered to us; you were still a child. You were our child. Nothing could ever change that, and nothing ever will. The sins of Kära's past is not for me to pass judgement on, but this... If what you say did take place, and I have no reason to distrust you, then she has brought harm to that which is most precious to me. That, I cannot forgive."

His darkened mood lingered only but a fleeting moment before facing his daughter with the very care and tenderness she deserved growing up. The subject of Kära's failures as a parent was for another time, though he swore Mysa would have her moment of reckoning with her Creator.

The QUEEN'S CRYPT
The KINGSWOOD​

Thurion nodded and took her by the hand, guiding her through the sleepy city streets towards the entrance to the Kingswood — a name imposed by the people of Heavenheim out of respect for the High King and the royal family who frequented it the most, despite it being open to the public. Heavily featuring a rare species of tree sporting bone-white bark and blood-red leaves native to this region of Midvinter, locating the Queen's Crypt was not difficult when it was the sole structure to be found within the untouched nature.

Situated in a glade along a narrow path crossing a babbling brook via a small bridge, the stone building resembled a small chapel with its many sculpts and statues, as well as a domed roof with spires.

He stopped by the entrance, hand upon the heavy set of doors as he turned to Mysa. Looking down at her, he offered a reassuring smile before pushing the door open with a loud creak. Allowing her to enter first and get her bearings, Thurion moved to light the braziers on either side of the entrance that she might better appreciate the artistry. There, on the far end, did the flawless likenesses of the departed queen, sculpted in white marble, glow in the darkness. Stained glass windows lined the western and eastern walls, depicting treasured moments of their life together.

"Come," he gently encouraged Mysa by way of touching her shoulder. Escorting her towards the vacant tomb, he stopped a handful of feet away and knelt with the greatest reverence, awaiting Mysa's reaction. "Go to her," he uttered softly. "She'll be glad to see you."

Mysa Snowstrider ​

 

[Mysa Snowstrider]

She was glad they did not dwell on the matter of Kära in that moment, Mysa was not trying to turn Thurion against his childhood friend, his sister-in-law, she just... needed him to understand things from her perspective. Why it had been so hard to integrate... why she had needed him all along.​

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The girl was glad that she was with him now, though, no matter what happened next, no matter where the threads of time led them, they would always have now. The rest? They could work out.​

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"I am sorry I left" she said. "I am sorry I did not stay and help in the search. Can you ever forgive me, Papa?"​

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Soon enough they were upon the Kingswood, and Mysa found herself stepping even closer to the Lion. These places had always scared her, with their bone-white trees which wept blood. It was as though the Gods themselves were watching, and right now she felt as though they were most displeased with her. One hand reached for the sleeve of his shirt, the way she had always done when she was but a child.​

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"This City of yours is nothing like Thainbroek" she whispered softly. "But it suits you." It was light and beautiful and full of hope, not despair. Not death.​

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This, though... as they approached the crypt it became much more solemn and the girl bowed her head deeply. At the threshold she felt tense, but at Thurion's urging she stepped forth into the darkness.​

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When the braziers were lit, fire danced around the room and off the beautiful stained glass and marble effigies. She paused in the middle of the room, then all at once hurried forth to drop to her knees as close to the empty casket as she could be.​

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"Mamma" she whimpered, forehead sinking so low that it was pressed toward the ground. Whatever she said next was between herself and her Mother's spirit, her lips moved but the words were not audible. What was clear were her tears.​

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Thurion Heavenshield ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

The Lion watched Mysa crumble before the sight of her mother's visage, feeling a lump of his own form in his throat. As she fell to her knees in prayer, her father stood and stepped around the head of the casket, those blue eyes of his falling upon his beloved wife's chiseled face, as lifelike as if she were truly there, resting on that slab of stone. Every time he laid eyes on her, it stole his breath away just as she so often did.

"Good morning, my beautiful," said the king-in-mourning, voice quivering despite his best efforts. His fingers lightly traced her cheek down to her lips, before cupping the entire right side of her face, trying to recall what she felt like to touch. "Our baby girl has come home, Coci. If only you would do the same..."

As the first tear pricked the corner of his eye, Thurion leaned down to place a tender kiss upon his wife's forehead to stifle the oncoming sobs. He just barely contained a full meltdown for the sake of his daughter, who needed him more than ever. "She would have been so proud of you," he told Mysa, helping her off the cold floor and hugging her all over again. "From the moment you came into our lives, she has never once stopped loving you. Her cubs were everything to her. I'm still here, sweetie," he soothed her with broken heart.

"I'll always be here, light of my life."

As father and daughter stood there embracing, the first rays of the morning sun crested the peaks of the mountains to the east to bathe the Kingswood in gold. Filtered through the stained glass windows, the room lit up in every colour imaginable and perfectly struck the depiction of the Lionness of Midvinter, just as had been intended with regards to the crypt's design and location.

"A gift from your grandfather," he smiled through his tears. The Sun God had come to comfort his Snowstrider.

Mysa Snowstrider ​

 

[Mysa Snowstrider]

Though Mysa did not interrupt his most tender display, she did not shrink down her own grief, her own moment with her Mamma, either. One above, one below, the pair shared in the moment and gave the cherished matriarch her moment in the sun.​

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She was almost uncertain whether or not she would be able to rise, but with his strength and support she managed and was well rewarded by his warm embrace. A bear hug if ever there had been one.​

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"I know" she choked, of love, of presence, "I know, Papa, and I love her, I love you, I should have been here..." There was nothing for her to see initially, through that heavy wave of tears, but as she felt the warmth of the sun brush against her cheeks she lifted a hand to wipe at her eyes and then looked upon the glory of it all.​

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"Oh, Papa" she whimpered, "it's beautiful... she would have loved it, the warmth, the light, the colours..." She half buried her face against his arm, while still allowing herself to spy the dancing lights. "T-Thank you, for making her somewhere so sacred, so divine."​

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Thurion Heavenshield ​