Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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As the Petals Fall, So Does Ignorance (Thurion Heavenshield)

The tangible shift in atmosphere hit me like the weight of an old book falling into an open hand. Luxurious and weighty, I surrender to it, letting my Naboo Lifter take me to the surface of the restoration and relaxation planet by the Fringe's borders known as Sakura. Once part of the Atrisian Empire, it's got the architecture and culture to match the Atrisians - who, if I'm honest, still give me the creeps.

Where do all those Force Users go? Where are they lost and never found? Shoving off from the ship, I find myself in a warm pale-pink and orange sunlight glowing through close-set trees and the timber of pleasant industry. My grey trousers tuck into my brown boots - small shoes for most but well on the way to being comfortably worn. A thick long-sleeve t-shirt and flak jacket finish the outfit of a scrawny young adult barely past the splendour of the teen years. I feel the shift again, and in the back of my empath's brain I know somewhere on Sakura is someone looking for me.

Maybe they don't know they're looking for Anders Sivas, twenty-two year old androgynous empath, maybe they don't know they're looking for anyone but there's that quality of patience in the air, as if the planet itself is breathing into the atmosphere a signal of future cognizance. I'll find someone here. Someone to know, someone hopefully to teach me more about my gift than I knew when I got up in Fringe space and flew here.

For the moment I tuck my dark blonde hair behind my ears and let the seemingly technology-less Sakurans welcome me as they see fit, with a tightly controlled bow and a placid smile. My fingers dance between low hanging tree branches. I wait, feeling the quality of Knowing yet to be born.

@Thurion Heavenshield
 
Sakura was a nice change of pace from the cold and harsh environments of Atoa and Rhen Var. The sun was shining and the temperate climate was greatly appreciated. Like some of the other places he'd visited lately, there were no specific reasons as to why he chose to come here, other than the basic maintenance of his ship and the standard run for supplies. Every world had something unique to offer, whether it be a new type of food or just something of cultural interest. Aquiring knowledge was something Thurion did not seek out to do - he'd let it happen on its own - but it was a part of him still rooted in the Jedi Order; the code of old stated that 'there is no ignorance, there is knowledge', which led him to believe one should always strive to improve upon oneself, body and mind. That said, he was never one for lectures given by old men in a controlled environment. No - true wisdom could only be granted from experience and by letting life take you where you are needed the most. The Force will guide you along the way, see to it that you do not stray from your path of enlightenment. That said, it is up to you to heed the call of the Force or take your life into your own hands. For Thurion, it was a delicate mix between the two.

Suddenly he was greeted by the clear signature of a Force-Sensitive being from somewhere in the vicinity. Considering how he and this other fellow were the only two he could sense, he thought he might as well track him down and perhaps get to meet him or her. At least it couldn't hurt.

@[member="Anders Sivas"]
 
Across another path, a bridge was built to span the channel of a small brook. My boots splash into the water, I kick at it letting the spray shatter the passive calm of the place and the Atrisians' hidden emotions. Repression. It's a thing here. As I laugh and splash, I become aware of the attention, that fluttering of eyes and sensations that calls forth being seen and bothered about. Husk laughter spills through my throat and I hop out on the other side of the stream. He's nearby, I'm sure it's a him this Force Sensitive I'm tugged toward. Too stalwart and immutable to be a woman. Women, well, shift and change like water thrown this way and that by the magnetic moon and hormones of the hour. Only women could be so capricious.

I, the androgyne empath, understand gender like a fashion designer understands the sitting of a seam on the shoulder, or the sway of a skirt on the hip. The outcropping houses are receding for a manicured forest that I can't expect a leaf to fall over without giving pause. There, between the trees and the calm sliding river is the man. @[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] is before me, I don't know his name, but I'll find it. I pull the long-sleeves of my t-shirt over my wrists and hop up on a boulder and down again to announce my presence.

As if a man like that couldn't tell there was a lanky twenty year old kid behind him. "Hi. Come for the cherry blossoms? The culture? The kit-and-kaboodle?"
 
Turning around, Thurion laid eyes on the mysterious young adult before him. He... or she... was a difficult one to put his finger on as to what gender he belonged to. It was as if he shifted between the two, sometimes showing signs of femininity intermixed with masculine features. It was quite the unusual thing to behold. "Oh, don't mind me, young one. I'm just a humble wanderer of the stars, seeking answers for my questions", he humoured. He was obviously not merely a common traveller, as the lightsaber attached to his belt was visible for all to see should they know where to look for it. Kind of a dead giveaway. "Who might you be, young man... lady? I'm sorry, but your features are most... intriguing, to say the least." Forgetting his manner for a second, Thurion bowed before the kid could give him an answer. "My name is Thurion. Thurion Heavenshield. Forgive my manners, one should not ask a name without giving his own."

@[member="Anders Sivas"]
 
"Humble wanderer with one heck of an insurance policy on the belt. Find any of the questions, yet?" I nod to the lightsaber, wary enough of the weapons of Force-based orders to know how to fear them. I carry nothing myself in the way of weapon, but my defence has always been in another route. The androgyny @[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] deciphers has been my protection, odd as it sounds. It comes to me that in this man there is no preconception. No idea on what to see beyond the person beneath the shell. He has no design upon me, nothing beyond the humble and honourable truth.

In sooth, I get no modicum of Sithly arts in him, a far cry from my 'companions' in the Fringe. For reasons unknown, I trust this man. I love his journey, the way he takes joy from the flowers on the trees, the ability inbred in his nature to accept the honesty of what he sees so freely and free indeed from harm. Plunking down on the boulder, I run my hand through my hair and feel the perceptions of the Atrisians shift away. None of them are particularly strong to throttle me with another symbiosis. "Andra Sivas. Friends call me Anders. Aw, it's all good Mr. Heavenshield... can I tell you a secret? You have to promise not to say a word."

I pull a knee up and put my arms around it, smiling up in this placid place. "I'm an empath. Suss out what'll make me safe, wanted or useful and be that. It's all on instinct, I don't control it, not really. Oh, Thurion, it's not hard at my age to dress in a way that makes people question, I'm lanky and thin. When I went out on my own, I learned quick what happens to impressionable young girls, so I played a boy to stay safe. You're the first person I've met who has no designs either way, that sees through it. So, I'm trusting you. You feel a heck of a lot different than the people in the Fringe. More like... safe? They're all anger and knees jerking. Not good for my health." I laugh softly, putting my cheek on my knee.

What's this Thurion Heavenshield going to make of me now?
 
Thurion smiled at the youngster as he made mention of the weapon on his person. This was a bright one, indeed. "No, for every answer I find, two new questions arise", he said jokingly. "It is an honour to meet you, Andra. Or would you rather I call you Anders?" What the androgynous teenager told him next was greatly intriguing. An empath? He recalled Master Asha having been empathetic, where she could take on the pains and joys of others in the vicinity. But this one seemed to utilize his gift in a different way, to change himself physically to fit in among crowds, be it female or male. Very unusual. He stepped in closer to the kid. "I thank you for your openness and honesty, my friend. I won't go around spreading the word, don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." He looked Anders over, still very unsure of what to make of him/her. "I'm sorry for asking, but would you rather I take you for a boy or girl? I don't want to cause any disrespect by addressing you as the wrong gender." It's not every day one meets someone who you need clarification on what gender they are, but this was one of them, apparently. Thurion then glanced around him for any bystanders, before gesturing for the boy or girl to join him. "Please, won't you join me for a walk? I could do with stretching my legs."

@[member="Anders Sivas"]
 
"Sounds about the way of it, eh? More questions coming right when you find the answer to one. I hope you find your answers, and they lead you to questions you admire." An honour. Never heard anybody say it was an honour to meet me. A plague, a pox, an annoyance or a fantastic tumble yes, but honour? Somehow I believe it. Maybe the creases of his face, to a skilled reader, read like palms and in them I see no furrow of deceit. I swing a hand up for a timid salute, my face softening just enough to be real. "Anders is fine. Most people call me by it."

I cock my head, lips mashing together as I think about it - really think. Which one do I prefer? It's one thing to prefer the honest truth around @[member="Thurion Heavenshield"], but as all conversations go the ghosts of others whisper on and my safety might rely on the illusion for another while or two. "What's in a gender? What makes a person different either way? I'd rather know myself, in all my shifts and changes, have a core that defies the label either or."

Pushing off the boulder, I nod and come up beside him for our walk. "When I'm in Fringe Space, it's best if people believe the lie. I've a reputation to those people and … to be honest, Thurion I'm kind of terrified of the secret coming out. The people who believe it aren't much on mercy. So, if you don't mind, I'll let you know that yes, I'm a girl, but until I feel safe enough to not get myself killed, if we could make people think I'm a boy I'll keep my skull attached. It's … it's a long story." It's now I realize I wear my fear like a cloak against the winter cold. I'm ripe for the picking for some wicked Sith with a penchant for perversion, but what could I be if I wasn't so scared?

If safety and adventure were the call signs of the protected unit and I had honest people to have my back? As I hear the leaves crunch under my boot, I look up, up, up at Thurion as if to spy some glimmer of hope in his kind face. I didn't know a Knight could be anything but a dealer of infamous death, maybe now compassion can reign monarch of at least some of my hours.
 
"I'm sure it is, my friend. One I am most keen on hearing, but I will not dictate the time or place. That is up to you to decide." He placed a hand atop Anders' shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze, gentle and caring in nature, before returning his hand to behind his back, where it clasped together with his remaining one as they kept walking beside eachother. Along the way, Thurion's senses were ever graced by the lovely scents of flowers in bloom, coupled with fresh breezes and warm sunshine. Occasionally he would stop for a moment to remark upon a new type of flora he'd never laid eyes upon previously, before resuming their walk down the path. Once the two had wandered out of sight, he stopped fully and turned towards his fellow wanderer. "I can tell you're gifted in the Force, Anders. I felt it the moment I set foot on this planet, and I have no doubt that it part of the reason the Fringe would be hunting you." He made a subtle gesture with one hand just before a couple of what looked like sweet fruits fell from a nearby branch and hovered over to the two of them. "Hungry?" he asked as he grabbed one of them out of the air.

@[member="Anders Sivas"]
 
The compassion of this constant knight sends my feet near to sway when his hand touches my shoulder and again I feel alive, lit up from the innermost places and I'd drift off in it if I could. If the Atrisian atmosphere hadn't such tempers laid beneath their placid surfaces. I glance up, fresh faced and honest, giving @[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] the meek and gentle smile he deserves. "I'll make sure to bring out all those oratorial skills I absorbed when I tell it. A real knee slapper. Space Opera at its finest, no doubt."

A meek little laugh escapes my throat and I stop walking for the briefest of seconds. Haven't laughed like that since childhood, when my father and I would go eat frozen custard out in the middle of a lake of water. Just him, me, the boat and a couple of cups and spoons. Nothing tasted so merciful and light, for a second I wonder if I'm symbiozing with Thurion, this isn't mine is it? But it is, and for the moment that's all that matters. As we walk we discover new flowers and plants, creeping vines that mimic just so the trees they inhabit, languidly perching like felines resting on their branches.

I pull a blossom to my nose and sniff. The perfume is heady and sweet, toned with a soft tang I wish I could taste on my lips. I pluck the flower and hold it in my hands, smelling it every few paces as if I needed to push the memory of its' scent into my olfactory memory forever. "Ah.. I… Ahnnn…" I sputter, watching fruit float in the air and I stand solidly looking up at Thurion before taking one of the fruit. "Th-thanks. I keep forgetting people can do that."

Squinting, I bite into the fruit and it's another flavour worthy of memorization. Pity I'm no good with talking about food. "Gifted, I don't know. Midichlorians in my blood? Guilty as charged. To be honest, I've never been able to use my ab-gi-my force-ness purposefully. I'm pushed and pulled by it, and it's caused me tons of grief. Some fun and adventure too, but lately it's all about the grief."
 
"Anders, I can help you hone your skills in using the Force, but only if you let me. I won't go against your wishes in any fashion." Thurion looked the boy/girl over with a quick glance. "Show me what you can do", he requested gently. As he said, he wouldn't do anything against Anders' will, and only he could make the choice whether or not to show him his gifts.

[OOC: Sorry for the horrendously short post. I have a lot to catch up with. :(]

@[member="Anders Sivas"]
 
"I can't do much." I admit, biting into the miscellaneous fruit @[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] levitated at me. I can't even do that, a simple trick like telekinesis hasn't become part of my repertoire, and yet I'm hoping somehow he gives me the chance to learn the incredibly useful and need-filled … thing? Ability? Gosh, what does one call a talent in the Force? Chew, chew, chew, swallow and my mind begins to blossom like a bud on a tree come Springtime. My brain unfolds before his mental texture and the flower-like petals brush across his brow until they fade into his mind.

That's when the seeping symbiotic miasma begins to shift and grow. As his emotions open before me, I stand taller, square my shoulders and feel the honour of a good day, the bitter pill of a bad. My mind begins to figure him out and as I know my feeble abilities of mental suggestion won't make a man like Thurion jump and skitter to my whims, I still let him see a conversation I had with a woman on a bench. She'd clung to her bag so desperately, ready to go back to the cheating loser who kicked her out and I peered into her mind, found her sister resting there and when the woman was ready to leave, I used my ability to persuade her to get on the ship to Annaj. To her sister. To heck with the dirtbag man. Another series of moments I played for Thurion, a series of my symbiosis bonds with stronger Others as I fell in thrall and became their mirrors. Became whatever they wanted for as long as they wanted until my immune system pushed the foreign substance of their mental projections out of my head. None of them knew what they'd done to me, until a flash. @[member="Jared Ovmar"]'s signature in the Dark Side flickers with the sight of his face as he gently pushed my mind back in my body that fateful night on Coruscant. The memory plays on, we talk and flirt and I tell him the guys behind us were Glitterstim dealers. He grows dark, tells me to get out, but I feel everything. Every flicker of their pain as he ends them slowly, every grieving muscle of his body as he lashes out with the pain which can only come from dire experience and I grab my forehead and walk briskly away from Thurion. "Nope! No, give me a.. you don't.. that's not for you." I croak, shrugging a shoulder. "All I've got is my wit. I've learned nothing else, I'm a blank slate."

It's raw and untrained, well barely trained, but one advantage is I have potential. Potential enough to become a healer of many or the enemy of all minds and that idea springs forth in my brain with the avid tang of a taste I haven't decided I liked or hated yet.

OOC: It's all good. :)
 
The images in his head told him a story of one cursed and blessed both. He could tell the ordeal was strenuous on the young empath before him, and with a concerned look on his face Thurion slowly shook his head. "I do not envy your talents, Anders. If I had the ability to feel what others felt I would have gone mad before I learned how to control it. You seem to have a grasp of how far you can push yourself, and for that you have every ounce of my respect. Please, would you like to sit down somewhere?" he asked before scanning the area of someplace quiet and away from prying eyes and ears.

@[member="Anders Sivas"]
 
I keep rubbing the back of my head, waiting for a fall that will never come and the crawling identity crisis which makes up my cobblestone personality dwindles and sleeps. "Guess it's why I become them. Instead of just going insane, I mean. I can't stop it until they break the connection or my mind kicks in. I symbozed for months a couple of times, but most of it is shorter. Saves me from the too-many-voices-crazies."

There's a small grove a few meters away I start walking toward. The moss dressing the ground is soft to my fingers, better than grass if I did say aloud. For a planet of leisure this place is pretty fairly tranquil, not what I'm used to but that makes it a gem. "Looks good over here." A couple of big rocks, tree trunks perfectly placed to appear serendipitous (but for the faint whiff of Feng Shui) and I plunk down on the moss. "What about you?" @[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]
 
"What about me?" he asked as he took a seat onto the bed of mosses next to @[member="Anders Sivas"]. Once comfortable Thurion took another bite of his apple, savouring the sweet juices it withheld. "Ask me anything and I will answer you question. You've been very open and willing to share things about yourself - I shall do the same, should you wish to know."

@[member="Anders Sivas"]
 
"What was it like for you, growing up and growing in the Force? Where do you live when you're not chasing sakura petals? What can the Light do? It's kind of hard to narrow down one measly question in the many, you know? Heck, even that little apple grabbing mind thing! Seems odd to see a fellow intuitive who isn't driven mad, or on the dark side of a shiny puddle. You're content. Happy as a clam on a water planet, and that's just cool."

The moss between my fingers feels like a damp carpet, it's worth sticking them deeper until some froth below becomes solid as the earth we were walking on. It's a curious conundrum, how one could be so blessed and another so condemned by the same entity. Does perception effect more than my flimsy expectations can ante up? It must. [member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

OOC: I'm back! Where were we?? O_O
 

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