Private Apartment Life Is Boring

[Iris Arani]

<I- Why are you so worried? The floor isn'tthat dirty.> Not that she stopped him from pulling her up. Iris kept the charm clutched to her chest, frowning and looking off.

<I dunno if medicine is really meant for the Force though. I guess it could help?>

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<All kitchen floors are dirty. No buts, what ifs, or ands.> He hauled Iris to her feet.

And found himself staring into her eyes, their faces close enough that he could feel the warmth of her breath.

<Ask a doctor, I guess. It's not like people with Force sensitivity are immune to diseases or disorders.> He glanced down at the necklace thingie she was clutching to her chest. <What's that?>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

<I- Alright.> Then she was up on her feet much closer to Kai Bamarri then she expected. Before, she wouldn't think twice on it. Now? As he motioned to the amulets she actually blushed. One she didn't mind him seeing, but the other with his name? She wasn't sure how to explain that to herself let alone him.

<My weaknesses. It's a Voss ritual. Make amulets with what they are that you know of. And when you overcome them, you burn them at the festival.>

 

[Kai Bamarri]

The blush clued him in that it was something embarrassing for her, so he didn't push the matter of the amulet. Yeah, most people were reluctant to admit their weaknesses to others. That made sense.

He was smirking at her, though.

<What festival?> he asked.

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

<Festival of N'thall. It was really pretty. Master Noble brought me there to make the amulets and such.> She smiled faintly, her gaze lingering on the amulets for a moment. Then, a different question came to mind.

<How are things with Claudia?>

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Huh? Oh.> He shrugged. <She's fine.>

But Iris wasn't just inquiring after Claudia's wellbeing, was she? Her telepathy betrayed her.

<Claudia is... troubled. She's afraid she'll die soon, so she's trying to grow up too fast. It's like she wants to squeeze an entire life's worth of experience into just a few short years.> He sighed. <But she's still just a kid. We both are.>

She made him feel like an old man whenever he had to be the one to tell her she wasn't ready yet. Making matters worse, he didn't know if he'd ever be ready for what she wanted from him. He wasn't human, after all. Never had been.

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

<Is she dying?> There was lottle she actually knew about the other girl. Bits and pieces that she overhead, sure, but nothing more.

<Is she your girlfriend?> The train of thought chugged along, leading Iris to ask the question. Ironically without much thought behind it.

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Yes.> A beat passed before he continued, <You saw her legs. It's spreading to other parts of her body. If it starts affecting her organs or her brain... there's no cure.>

Her next question made Kai cringe.

<I made a mistake. For a while she thought there was a chance. But I don't feel the same way she does.>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

<That's.. Killing her?> Iris knew she didn't know much about the species of the galaxy. Given what Kai Bamarri was, she figured the bark like legs were just something of a different species. There were sentient plants after all! But the fact it was killing her? She had no idea what to say with that. Instead she focused in on the discomfort the other question had given him. Did that mean Claudia thought she was?

<Does she still think there's a chance?>

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Maybe?> He shrugged. <I dunno what goes on in her head.>

That was actually only half true. He had discovered her feelings for him after an incident in which he had to dive into her mind to save her. He'd found himself in a simulation of what she wanted most: kissing him in the midst of a garden.

Then there was Boz Pity, where Ax had died and he and Claudia had been forced to fight for survival. She had begged him to leave her behind and save himself, but he refused. He kissed her to give her courage, to give her something to look forward to if she made it out alive, but he had no idea how far-reaching the consequences of that kiss might be.

Kind of screwy, that.

<I know she has an idealized perception of me. It's more of a crush than true love.> He was speaking in the human vernacular, but even he barely understood the concepts he was naming. <I don't want to hurt her or anything. But feeling sorry for her isn't love either.>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

<Then you should make sure she understands, I guess. If she really is dying, she should know the truth.> Right? Honestly, Iris wasn't sure which was better for Claudia, more just saying what she'd want if it was her. Though she did pause.

<What's a crush?>

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<I think it's like falling in love, but not really? You don't know the person very well but you are attracted to surface-level stuff about them, like the way they look or the way they talk.>

He cocked his head at Iris.

<I'm surprised you don't know what a crush is.>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

<I did just say I grew up in a haze of color and don't remember how the people who took care of me look.> She huffed. Slightly embarrassed at being called out over her lack of knowledge. <I don't know what love is, either. It's a term I see a lot. And a lot of the books I've been reading trying to figure it out talk about it, but don't really say what it is. A feeling for someone special, sure. But.. Not what it actually feels like.>

Iris let out a sigh before turning her gaze down to the charm with Kai Bamarri 's name on it.

"I'll figure it out at some point, I guess."

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<I didn't mean...> He trailed off, pursing his lips.

It was hard to explain. During his days of flagrant feeding, he had picked up on commonalities between people, universal ideas across the lines of species or sex. The concept of a "crush" was one of those ideas that could be found everywhere.

<Love isn't what they tell you it is,> he said with a raised eyebrow, his telepathy quiet. <That's all I have to say.>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

<That's all I have to say.>

"Wha-" No no. Her pout returned as she lifted her gaze to look at him. Actually look at him. There was something startling for most people when Iris looked in their eyes instead of the colorful aura that usually lingered around them. <What is it? What is love? You can't just say that and not tell me what it actually is.>

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Her huffing and puffing forgotten, all of a sudden Iris wanted to hear what he had to say. Kai smirked at her.

<You can't just say that and not tell me what it actually is.>

<I don't need to tell you anything, goof.> But his expression softened, becoming almost serious. <Love isn't just attraction. It's not having a crush on someone. It isn't even just romance. That's only one type of love. Love is caring about somebody else more than you care about yourself. You would go through pain and suffering for them, even die for them, because you love them.>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

That was.. She lost count of how many times Kai Bamarri had called her a goof. But it was enough for her to wonder what that even meant. Not that she was going to ask. The pout that had formed slowly faded as he actually explained what he meant. Caring about someone else more than caring about themselves? <That would mean..> Nope, she didn't go further than that. Her mind seemed to cut right off, harshly, as some sort of reality set in her mind.

Did it even mean that? She hadn't hesitated to try and protect him. Even got shot for it. All the other thoughts came back, too. The relief of him being okay after the pirates. Being there with him. Their time on the rooftop. Her conversation with Briana Sal-Soren . The amulet now so firmly clutched to her chest that her knuckles turned white. Did she love him?

".. Thank you for telling me." She didn't dare send out her thoughts. Not now. Her voice was soft, quiet as her eyes lower from his to stare blankly at his chest. Not really looking at him so much as just drifting.

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Yeah. It means you love me, and I love you.> Kai laughed, not noticing (probably...) the gravity of the revelation. He thought her reaction was just to the brain-bending concept of what love really was, the likelihood that she loved a lot more people than she ever would've dreamed. <That's the love of friendship. Comradery, and all that. You know what comradery is, right?>

Iris Arani​

 

[Iris Arani]

And he said it. Her face lit right up. Embarrassment for how easy he could say it where she just stood there staring off to not freak out. Inwardly, she really was freaking out. A door had been opened she never thought about until recently. Just a crack, and Kai Bamarri decided to kick it open like he was a vampire catching up with an old friend. Iris blinked, looking back up. She felt.. Vulnerable.

Afraid.

<I love you.> She said it. Well, 'said' it. But this way she could put the emotions behind it. All of them. The fear, the adoration, joy, sadness. Everything that came with it, everything she'd been feeling but didn't know how to put them in words. She didn't look away. Too afraid he might just leave if he did.

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Yup.>

I rolled a nat 1 Iris Arani​