Feedback Alright, I'll do one

[Kaleleon]

So for a while, I have been wondering how my writing has been. Specifically with Kale. I have him at just over 650+ posts and have been writing him since 2019. So, with that in mind, I would like some critiques on my writing, him as a character, or whatever. I'm not trying to "farm reactions." or whatever. I want some serious critiques. Something that makes me really think about how I have been writing him. My most recent threads I'll go ahead and share, or you can just stalk the profiles and get more from there.

Thanks in advance.

• What Remains NJO thread.
• Inception THP thread
• Grow a Garden Safe from Murder (Private thread)
• Midnight Council (THR/Lightsworn)

 

[Quinn Varanin]

Kaleleon (Thank you for linking your writing)

I've always loved your writing—whether it's on Kale, Delsin, Daddy Shaw, Garza, or anyone else. Watching your growth since we first met back in 2013/2014 has been amazing. You've consistently been one of the standout writers who can create pure magic in first-person perspective.

First-person writing is tricky. It's easy for it to become repetitive or drift into solo monologues without meaningful interaction with other characters. You avoid that entirely. You make first-person writing engaging and dynamic. I can step inside your character's head and experience their thoughts, and then — seamlessly — you shift into them interacting with the world and people around them. RP writing is already its own unique art form, but doing it well in first-person? That's like playing the game on hard mode. You excel at it because you write for both the reader and the character's interactions.

One of your biggest strengths is how distinct your character voices are. I especially love Delsin's — he's got his serious moments, but that streak of arrogance, laced with playful humor, makes him so fun to read. He feels like someone who's been through it all and still carries himself with this unshakable confidence — the type of guy who would stare death in the face and crack a joke.

None of your characters sound alike, and each feels like a fully realized person. That's rare.

If I had to point to an area for improvement, it would be building out the scene a bit more — especially in opening moments. I know it's harder to do in first-person, but taking a little extra time to "lay the land" and show the world through your character's eyes would make your writing even richer. That said, there's not much I'd call a flaw in your work.

I don't write in these feedback threads often, but I hope it gives some insight into the amazing strengths you bring to the table. If I think of more feedback, I'll reach out — but honestly, you're absolute cinema, and I adore writing with you. (Yes, I owe you a post — it's coming, I swear!)