[member="Hanna Vondiranach"]
"Well you make more money then me and I am living with you. You also buy me pretty things." Matsu laughed at that and then her mood changed at the mention. She expected it to come up and she looked at Hanna. Her eyes remaining on her face while she moved her hand under the table. Her head turning down. "Oh." Looking more at her now as her smile went away a little and she didn't hold back, there was sorrow to be had but she rejooiced for those who joined the force and chose to look at it as her fault as much as those who ordered it.
"It depends on how you want to define it, because many believe jedi are against killing. That they are paragons of good and purity this can be true but it is also very false. In war against the sith people die, the darkside sees everyone as disposable. At Metalorn the jedi fought and I killed, I killed on a scale few have seen because the council sent five jedi to take a city and prison with two hundred soldiers. Against over a million prisoners and ten thousand sith troopers. Not odds one likes since we suspected the prisoners would be used as pawns and they were, they were turned into weapons sent to attack and kill us. A jedi is not a god though some think they can be, we go down just like anyone else."
Matsu remained seated and brought her hands up. "It is a trcky situation and not something many understand. To hold power over things, for those who seek it the ability to create storms is seen as something a god can do. For those who know how, who have trained and learned they come to understand two things." Her hand tapped on he table and a small smile. "Even now jedi carry savage weapons and that jedi serve the galaxy as selfless defenders, stalwart protectors. White knights but we also will forever have one hand dipped in blood. Jedi kill, we have always done it because it protects lives, it protects civilization and the people who make peace."
"So I did what I knew needed to be done, I killed enemies trying to kill us to save the lives of Republic soldiers and all who those soldiers could have hurt. Did I like it as some believe? No, do I weep? Yes but one need not show or let them know it, I cast aside my right to be pure and innocent many years ago when I agreed to be a jedi. When i agreed to fight the darkside to save lives and protect people, now I bathe in the light of the force and it will judge me. Not some council that condemns on one hand but for those who they favor it is praise, it is like children in high school with a cliche mentality and if your not in their group everything you do is evil."
Now she was laughing and thinking about the grandmaster. "There are worse things to be called though Hanna then war criminal and so long as I walk in the light and have my serenity I can take it. Until stars burn and worlds turn to ash because I have to, because it was never about me. It was about saving lives and defending people and that is what I did." Now she was looking at Hanna and offered her hand. "Besides the only opinion I care about is yours Hanna. People die in war, worlds will burn and the force will receive the lives of those it touches now and forever."
