A Silver Lining

[Connor Harrison]

Night drew in over Voss.

A full moon rose above the planet, silencing the nature of the day and awakening the beasts of the night.

While Connor Harrison filed the injury for his Padawan and her noted absence from further classes over the next few days, he also battled with his feelings for her; [member="Chastity Lunelle"]. A bright-eyed, wild and rebellious girl who could have been him in another life.

Chastity was tended to by the Silver Jedi med-droi, with rest and compress and gentle exercise on the schedule to get back to shape. However, she too wasn't ready to let her feelings dissolve like her pain would; she wanted answers, both why she was rejected and what his problem really was.

Master and Student stayed away from each other for two days. Connor spent time working on his ship, and Chastity spent time working on her control of the Force. Both spent time working on their emotions.



It would be a long, laborious two days at that...


​

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

The two days that Chastity spent in her room felt unnaturally long and lonely. Sure the Padawan wasn’t technically alone. There was the odd med droid who rolled into her room every now and then to rewrap her ankle. As expected, there were also other Padawans who were smirkingly curious about the clumsy student who had managed to get herself laid up in bed during her saber training. Despite the company, however, the injured Padawan couldn’t shake the feeling that the walls of her quarters were closing in on her.

Chastity was given telekinetic exercises that she could do in bed, such as moving around small blocks, a rote task that soon became mind-numbingly dull. Outside her window, she saw young, blindfolded Padawans swinging their lightsabers at stun bolts as they practiced their velocities. The sight gave her a pang of jealousy, but she didn’t complain. At least her own boring exercises gave her something to do.

She was told that in two days Master Harrison would be meeting her in her room to evaluate her healing ankle and hopefully pronounce her well enough to continue her training. So on that morning, butterflies romped in her stomach. Connor was a lightning rod for her emotions, and she wasn’t sure what seeing him would do to her. The young woman still didn’t understand why he thought of himself as “damaged goods.” She hoped that she would soon be enlightened about it, but didn’t want to inundate him with questions the moment she saw him again.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Following on from this thread: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/61510-still-the-same-but-different/​

The meeting with Taeli Raaf had been…beneficial. It gave him something to think about, to evaluate, and mull over in his own time. The two days away from Chastity has been spent wisely; working on his fighter, conversing with the Republic Raaf sister and meditating. Plus, ordering in some Blue Milk and fruit for his quarters. He’d run dangerously low on his favourite drink and that was worse than anything.

He wore his casual vest and combats, a little filthy from the morning tinkering with his ship, a few marks here and there, but that was the way of a busy Master. It was time to check up on the progress of his Padawan. It still felt strange thinking he had a Padawan again – it wasn’t so long ago he was helping young Syala Daivik master her ability with the Force, find herself and build a confidence that would go far. From HIS guidance. He must have been doing something right as she was already making plans for a peacekeeping expedition to Belgaroth; without him watching over her. Maybe Chastity would benefit going with her and see what it means to be headstrong and selfless in acting like a Jedi, not a child.

He smiled to himself at remembering her little strop as he left her recovering in her room. The med-reports indicated good progress, and he hoped he would see that evidence for himself in seconds. Connor hopped up the low laying fabric covered steps leading to the East Hall quarters, and one for Miss Lunelle specifically. Her door was open, and a small astro droid rolled out, whistling at the passing Jedi Master with a silver tray fixed on his head carrying an empty box of, what looked like, chocolate.

”Tut tut tut. Eating all that chocolate signals me that you’re feeling better.”

Connor held onto the door frame as he leaned around to see his Padawan sitting up, flexing her ankle and looking better than she did 2 days ago. Maybe the events that took place were due to high emotion, and would have calmed now. The storm had passed, hadn’t it? There was the expected sense of boredom about her which was natural and one that had to be quelled by more exercise and training. He stepped into the room, light bleeding in from her window looking out to the training grounds and garden.

”How are you feeling then, Padawan?”

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

A hand shot to her lips to make sure there were no rogue traces of the treats that were brought by the little astromech she had befriended during her bedrest. He had tutted at her like he was a child. Was that how he thought of her? Chastity gave Connor a slightly sheepish look and then smiled. Her bed was made. The room was picture perfect. She was such a shining example of an exemplary student, she almost glowed.

Connor himself seemed much more unruffled than he had when he had stormed out of her room a few days ago. Did thoughts of his Padawan dropping her towel to the floor break through his meditations? Did he still think the kiss was wrong? The thought put a small rut in her brow, and she immediately wanted to pick up their conversation from where they last left it. Let it go, Chast. Focus on your training. On your studies. On bringing peace to the galaxy. The Sith are not going to defeat themselves, while you’re in your bedroom licking your wounds.

Chastity rose from the bed and stood, favoring her injured ankle, but able to stand comfortably on it.

“See? Much better, Master Harrison.” She gestured to her unwrapped ankle and let out a short laugh, hoping it would mask her discontent.

“I’m ready to go out there and sprain the other one now.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Chastity could put on a front, but she still didn’t remember her inner emotions painted a REAL picture. She was still in a little pain, and still wary of him. A shame, but understandable. Still, the moment had passed for now – who was he kidding, it was right there BUT tempers were calm.

”If you’ve been cleared, then we can take you out of this place. Combat training I’m not sure about – but we can if you feel up to it?”

He casually walked past her, eyes on the window on the other side of the room and leant forward looking it. If eyes were on here, then it will all come racing back. Both knew it was there, but both were avoiding the ronto in the room.

”Or we can try some Force meditation to build up your resistance – shield your min and make it strong against those wanting to tap into it.”

He turned, a hint of mystery in his voice from the possibilities of the Force she could tap into.

”What do you feel up to?”

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Chastity tapped on the apple of her cheek, deliberating her Master’s question. No matter what she chose, escape from her quarters was mandatory. The Padawan had been going stir crazy in the now all too familiar surroundings of her private quarters. At least now she could say the Jedi code forwards and backwards three times in under fifty seconds, but still...she was dying for a change of scenery. Was she up to combat? She wouldn’t be sure until she put pressure on her injured ankle.

Force meditation and mind shielding. Now that sounded interesting, especially since Chastity had heard of some Sith being able to penetrate right through your skull, and seize control of your mind. Sometimes they could even wipe you of your memories and personality. The thought gave her an unpleasant shudder down her spine. Additionally, if Chastity could learn some meditation, perhaps she could put a stopper on all those emotions that constantly threatened to overflow her senses. The ones that made her stamp her feet and drop towels. If she could develop an emotional second skin, perhaps she could be the calm, cool, collected Jedi of her dreams.

“Meditation sounds like a good, gentle place to start,” she said, with a decisive nod.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

It was evident things were awkward between Master and Apprentice. Taeli had given Connor a good scolding, and he likewise, so another relationship - lover or friend - was on the ropes. Chastity wasn't her usual self. Connor was slowly destroying everything and anything around him without even trying, just by being him.

Indecisive and weak. Syala would have a field day with this.

”Alright. Let's take a walk, shall we?” He extended his arm.

Connor would take her slowly through the halls of the Temple, second nature to her now, and discussed what it meant to build your mind against those using the Force to invade it. Those wanting to strike at the soul of a person, their very core, would pry at the memories and most fragile thoughts that could be twisted, manipulated and ripped from them in a heartbeat.

Muscle, flesh and bone was all very good against warriors, but at times when it was down to the ability of the Force user themselves, the mind was an easy target to strike at. Force Resistance would help build barriers and repel those wanting to get inside. It was this Connor explained as he took her outside, to the edge of the gardens; this time near the Memorial Garden itself, not too far a walk for her from the Temple itself.

A number a small marble figurines stood at plaques for each fallen Silver Jedi, inscribed by the Grandmaster they served. Amongst them were two close to Connor - Iella E'ron and Sochi Ru. Two pillars taken away from beneath him. It was solemn, and peaceful, and Connor stood looking over the view.

”Have you ever lost someone close to you, Chastity?”

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Arm in arm they walked through the Temple. Connor was in full lesson mode now, which was good. It meant that he was looking her in the eye and not awkwardly avoiding her gaze. It made Chastity feel closer to him. The simple eye contact made her hopeful that they could mend the tear in their relationship. It was a good start anyway.

Together they walked out into the Memorial Garden. The sky was dimmer than yesterday, with the bright sun now a fugitive from the greying clouds. The overcast sky enhanced the solemnity of the place, resplendent with monuments to the fallen Jedi of the Silver Jedi Order. Chastity read the names on the plaques and studied the figures. The plaques were beautiful and they no doubt held solace for the Jedi who wished to meditate on them.

The Padawan had not brushed up against death yet on Aduba III, unless you counted farm animals. Chastity had always wondered how the loved ones of the deceased felt when they visited gravestones, like the ones on Spacer Hill. The person you loved was gone and in its place was a rock, a cold, inanimate object standing in for a human being. How could it not feel like the Maker's cruel joke?

Realizing her thoughts had run away from her, Chastity she snapped back to the moment. She looked into Connor’s icy blue eyes, searching them.

“No, Master Harrison, I haven’t lost anyone,” she said in a quiet voice.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

”I hope you never experience that feeling for a very, very long time.”

Turning back to the garden, looking out at the various plaques that had a dull glow to them from the sun above, Connor pulled in his bottom lip slightly, Taeli’s stinging words going around his head about how he was acting.

”Please accept my apologies for the other day, Chastity. I have no excuse, and I hope you feel we can continue in your training here with me.”

His arm tensed with her hand on it, pulling it in a little as a sign of guarding himself, closing up. The state of his mind was getting to be nothing but embarrassing now. And the most embarrassing thing was that Taeli was nothing but right.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Gazing around at the monuments, it dawned on the young Padawan that Connor’s world was probably full of death and destruction. He must have buried so many friends, Padawans, former teachers, and former Masters. Countless numbers had fallen to the crimson sabers of the Sith. When would it end? Chastity gave her Master a compassionate smile and squeezed his arm. Even though she had personally not lost anyone close to her, she would try her best understand. It must hurt him to be here in the memorial gardens. Even if he had mourned the dead, Connor did not seem like the kind of person who would easily forget their memories.

A look of worry crossed Connor’s face and soon an apology came. Chastity was taken by surprise. She expected that she and Connor would launch right into their training, and avoid the subject of their unavoidable sparks altogether. When he pulled his arm in, away from her touch, she felt a pang of rejection, and reflexively crossed her arms in front of her, matching his defensive posture. An acceptance of his apology lay right on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t get the words out. What exactly was she forgiving him for? It wasn't the kiss, was it?

“Of course I want to continue our training,” she insisted with a smile. “I feel like you’ve turned on a light inside me. I feel the Force much more strongly and can wield it with much more control.” Her silver eyes then turned questioning.

“But I have to ask, what are you apologizing for, Master Harrsion?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Pleased with her answer, Connor nodded to himself. So much potential. Her question allowed him to look at her again.

”Me? Sorry for everything really. My insecurity. My indecisions. My temper. My methods. My actions.”

She’d know what he meant.

”I’m losing focus on what is important and what isn’t. My heart isn’t important – it’s just something that gets in the way and maybe I need to learn to silence it like so many more do so I can focus on being nothing more than the Jedi I returned here to be, and the one I could make you into.”

He looked away for a few moments, and then looked back to her. She was intoxicating to him, and he hated her for it because it was clear she enjoyed his company, which made him enjoy hers. At least she wouldn’t punch him in the nose.

”Do you want to try and keep me out of your head? As if I were a Sith attacking you mentally – build that wall to protect yourself and those you care about.”

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Chastity, of course, wanted to press him more, like she had done before, and before she could stop them, the words tumbled out.

“But Master, isn’t the heart meant to be followed? What I mean is...well, I followed my heart down the path that lead me to the Jedi. My empathy is what drove me to come to Voss and to train with the Silver Jedi. If I followed my head, I probably would have stayed on my parents’ Nuna farm to take it over when they became too infirm to run it.”

Chastity stopped there, reminding herself that he was the master and she student. She had no right to press him further. Connor’s bright blue eyes withered her resolve to play the ”good little student”. If only he would stop looking at her that way. As if she moved in to lay kisses along his angular jawline, moving down his neck with abandon, he would welcome it. Cut it out, Chastity, she told herself, echoing his own words from a few nights ago. Focus on your training, girl.

Finally, Connor asked her if she would try to keep him out of her head. As if he didn’t already seem to be in there! She blinked and nodded.

“Yes, Master Harrison. I will try to keep you out.”

By the Maker, what would he find in there?

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

”Ok, perfect,” he said, rubbing his hands and standing back a step, ”I’m not going to hurt you, but you’ll certainly feel me inside you. In your head. Ok? Just try to…keep me out by building a mental wall.”

Best not pay attention to the juxtaposition of words. Connor nodded at her, a gentle smile of reassurance. In all, her first days would give her foundations to work on – telekinesis; combat; meditation; resistance; healing and physical. If Connor could help provide the blocks, Chastity would build on them daily. Physical, however, would have to wait until she could tackle the obstacle run without a weak ankle.

”It only takes seconds for you to repel the Dark Side, as they will try to worm into your head and use your thoughts and feelings against you and plant nightmarish visions that appear real.”

Connor began to focus on her aura, and slowly put images of something that haunted him. The death of Master Sochi Ru. Connor had seen it all, and he would replay it in Chastity’s mind which was for her to block. If she could repel a vision, it was the first step to being stronger against the Sith.

On the Ranger frigate was where Connor and Sochi were transporting freed slaves back to Voss. It was there that one of the slaves, using the Force to conceal themselves, struck and killed Sochi and left Connor unconscious. The shouts of Connor racing to stop the Sith; the sight of a blade penetrating through the body; the smell of burnt skin and blood.

It was a vision that hadn’t left Connor, and Chastity would need to work hard to keep it out of her head because that wasn’t the half of what she could be subject to.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Closing her eyes, Chastity braced herself for whatever mental attack was coming. The Padawan hadn’t been given explicit instructions, but as with many skills, trust in the Force was crucial. She called it into her body and mind, letting it snake through the rivers of her synapses. In a few moments, the young woman began to experience a vision, a powerful one. The image showed Connor himself and another Jedi, a female Togruta. An assassin shimmered out of hiding and after knocking Connor out, stabbed right through the Togruta with a lightsaber. Both Jedi fell amid the smell of charred flesh. The illusion was vivid and hyper-realistic, as if Chastity herself was there. Trembling and unaware of her own physical reactions, the Padawan fell to her knees, skinning them on the mossy stone.

It seemed as if the images were woven into her thoughts like a web, repelling it wasn’t as easy as a blink. She needed to unravel it using the Force. She began to sob as the vision consumed her, but she continued to try and press it back. The task was herculean. The vision persisted like an etching on her brain.

“I can’t. I can’t…” she stammered, and shook her head, trying to jar the illusion loose. Chastity felt dissapointed in herself. If she couldn’t learn how to defend her mind from the Sith, she would be letting everyone down.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor, a true Master, watched Chastity, a true Padawan, succumb to the vision as she focused on what her mind showed her and not what the Force allowed her to do. The mind was a powerful tool but a dangerous trap, and she had become ensnared in it due to the images trapping her. Connor wasn’t about to pander to the girl – Syala hadn’t become a Knight on a whim, and he would be dammed if his methods wouldn’t work on Chastity.

He moved forward, stooping low and holding the girl by her biceps, and lifting her up from her knees to stand before him. She had stumbled before and taken rest days when it was tough; now it was time to build her physical and mental armour so the Sith couldn’t take her if she showed the same weaknesses to them.

”Yes! Yes you can – now, again. Repel me!”

Connor moved back and replayed another vision to snake into her mind; this time it was the feeling of true isolation and fear on the mountainside of Rhen Var. Trapped on a crumbling rocky plateau with the biting wind causing skin to crack and bleed, the snow making it impossible to see and the notion that there was nothing else to do but die alone and afraid in the dark light of the cold evening.

He had seen it himself, and now he would force it on Chastity.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Chastity was vaguely aware of strong hands hooking under her arms and lifting her to her unsteady feet. Like an echo somewhere in the foreign regions of her mind, she heard her Master’s voice urging her to repel him. The vision of the dying Togruta shattered and was soon replaced by another. The setting was a steep mountain range, blanketed with snow. Chastity shivered uncontrollably. She felt trapped, exposed to the elements. Her skin burned with frostbite. She needed to escape but there was nowhere to go unless she wanted to dive off a cliff to a certain death. Was this something that Connor had to endure?

She called upon the Force again, using it to push the vision out. Finally after intense focus, she could see the edges of it dissipating. It was working!

Beads of sweat dripped down her forehead as she continued to wipe the images from her mind, focusing instead on the calming white light of the Force. Soon the Light-Sided energy flared and eclipsed the vision completely. Kohl-black lashes thick with tears, she opened her eyes. Chastity put her hands on her chest, and let all the air out of her lungs with a whoosh. She raised her gaze to Connor with a weak, empathetic smile.

“I’m so sorry you had to endure those things.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor nodded internally, but instead of responding, continued with his brand of hard training to really push her to the edge. He pointed a finger at her and walked around her in an arc, from left to right.

”If you continue to let your emotions control you and you fail to be in control, you’ll endure them also sooner than you think. Do it again – but quicker. Stronger. Don't think about anything but yourself - push back and trust the Force and remember this is nothing but a vision.”

He kept his gaze on the Padawan as he focused on her again, pushing the worst image he could to test her fragility and resolve; one of the Sith burning down a farm – one similar to her own. Crimson blades cut down resistance, and blaster bolts shot from Stormtroopers under their command, taking out those trying to flee as fires burnt life stock and homesteads. Death and burning bodies could fill the air with the nauseating smell, and he planted the image of Chastity herself trapped on her knees in a clear box – she could see everything, but she could not stop anything.

”Break out of that box – use the Force to enhance your mental wall and block the darkness that fills it with this decay, and flood it with light.”

To say they were stood in the Memorial Garden while Chastity endured this hellish image was just proof that the Force could work in mysterious and disorientating ways.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Her breaths came quicker as her Master began to push her harder, testing her limits more and more with each lesson. Chastity listened carefully to his words and let them sink right into her soul. Push back. Trust the Force. Remember that this is only a vision. Even with his advice right at the bow of her brain, she was woefully unprepared for the vision that came next. A farm was being savaged, razed by Sith and stormtroopers in a display of cruel domination. Chastity wanted to run to the families. To take their children by the hand and lead them to safety. But she was stuck on her knees in a transparent box. A fist knocked on the box. Then both hands. Finally Chastity was throwing her body against the side of the box. It still wouldn’t budge. Use your mind, Chast.

As the smell of burning bodies assaulted her nostrils, the Padawan began to hyperventilate. Each breath she drew became more shallower than the next, as if caught in her windpipe with no way to pass through. She felt like she was suffocating in the box, helpless and useless. A complete and utter failure as a Jedi. Her hands shot over her eyes, and a loud scream escaped her lips, disturbing a flock of birds that had nested in a nearby tree. She was clearly stuck and unable to free herself from the mental torment without some help.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor walked slowly to her, step by step, as the vision continued, and he saw the cracks. The scream was brief and piercing, and his arm shot out; his hand rested on her shoulder to silence the vision and bring her back to the now. The present. The safety.

The Master looked up at the birds, giving Chastity a second to compose herself, before looking down at her.

”We will work on that. I just wanted you to see that the mind is something far more dangerous and fragile than anyone could imagine. Mentalism isn’t always about using the Force to control a being; it’s also about destroying them from the inside out and enslaving them. The Sith could use those visions to have you sell your soul to their cult and have you trapped in that box, with all the power at your fingertips to try and get out of the box, but you will always be trapped inside no matter what they say or promise you.”

He gently squeezed her shoulder and put his arm around her, turning their bodies from the garden.

”Work on this technique – work on isolating yourself from the world around you. Meditate, and pull the Force to your core. You will see everything without seeing, and you feel everything with feeling. Then, when you find that place, you can build your wall with the trust you have placed in the Force, and your own strength.”

Connor shook her gently, a comforting hand on her slightly trembling body.

”Chastity, if I push you too hard – please have faith that I do it so you don’t make the same mistakes I did and under-estimate the Dark Side. While I am on a path I will walk alone, that doesn’t mean those around me can’t stand beside me to reach the end goal. I said it to Syala, and I’ll say it to you – I’ll always look out for you and protect you without second thought. You are the future of the Silver Jedi, and so your life comes before mine now if there is ever a choice to be made.”

He started a slow walk away from the gardens.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Relief washed over Chastity like a gentle stream as the vision ceased. She felt a light hand on her shoulder, a calming gesture, and looked around as the Memorial Gardens came back into focus. There were no black-cloaked Sith with their angry red blades bisecting innocent farmers around her. She was safe on Voss with the Silver Jedi. Like ragged fingernails the memory of the vision raked across her mind, and she shuddered. Sleep would not come easy tonight, she had a feeling. Turning her grey-blue eyes to his, Chastity stared up at him with a pained expression as he explained what the Sith were capable of. The idea of their unbearable cruelty caused a knot in the pit of her stomach. Then, Connor turned the stunned Padawan to walk with him on the mossy stone. Her face was now dry of tears, but inside she was a dam of welling emotions.

The girl’s confidence had been shattered by the last exercise, but she dared not share these thoughts, fearful that tears might flow again. Instead she quietly listened as they walked. When he was finished, she levelled a question at her Master.

“Why do you choose to walk this path alone, Master Harrison?”

She was curious and wasn’t sure if he would indulge her in a response, but breached a possibly uneasy subject for him. Like forbidden fruit, the more uncomfortable a subject, the more Chastity wanted to open it up and explore its ripe interior.

“What happened to the woman you spoke about the other day, the one who saved you from the Dark Side? Isn’t she going to walk with you?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]