A Silver Lining

[Connor Harrison]

She was tiring – time to keep pushing.

”Better - ” He span the blade in his hand and moved towards her, ” – but you need to learn to teach your body when to stop and when to fight. You can’t let fatigue take over in a duel or you’ll lose.”

He pushed forward with his blade, riding up hers and forming an ‘X’ shape between them, his hands pushing on the hilt, forcing her to bend back slightly. His blue eyes burned into her from behind his blade, and the heat from their weapons was evident.

” Never give up, Chast. Fight for something. Focus on something to protect from evil, and let the Force empower you. Don’t give up. Ever.”

He held his eye contact with her, waiting for her to either push back with a fierce determination, or submit.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

As much as her aching muscles screamed “no,” Chastity had to admit it. Connor was right. There was no rest for the Jedi as long as the Sith were still a pestilence on the galaxy. The war between the Jedi and the Sith was worth fighting for. Worth dying for. There was no room for quitting while innocents were being slaughtered and enslaved. As he pushed his blade against hers, pressing, she felt her legs quiver. Her teeth were gritted, and every muscles tensed. Despite her efforts, she began to buckle under his pressure. She would learn in time, but the Padawan didn’t yet know how to use the Force to bolster her muscles and push her body past its physical limit.

She held on as long as she could, but Connor outmatched her in strength and brute force. Her ankle twisted and her legs finally gave way. With a groan, she toppled backwards, sprawling into the gravel on her backside.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Chastity didn’t exactly fall with much grace, and Connor wasn’t putting TOO much strength into it, but it seemed she wasn’t using the Force to enhance her muscles and mind. In time, it would come. For now, she went back awkwardly onto the ground with a soft crunch. It was a nasty little turn, too fast on her ankle and it gave way too easily.

”Are you alright?”

He stood over her and killed the blade, no loss of breath or composure compared to her.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

The wince on her face made it obvious, Chastity's ankle smarted bad. She wasn't an expert, but it felt like a sprain. Sitting up, the Padawan rolled up her pantleg to reveal a large swath of purple blooming on her flesh. Yeah, it was probably sprained.

"I'm ok," she told him, attempting to shake it off. She would not let her injury interfere with her training. Connor would see that she could fight through her pain like a warrior. Picking up the hilt of her training saber, she slowly made her way to her feet, but couldn't stand on the ankle without another grimace. Ouch. Great. Her second day at the Silver Jedi Temple and she as was useless as a newborn keffi.

"I think I can still continue," she offered, although her voice had less confidence than she intended.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor didn’t need to look as he clipped the training hilt to his belt, he knew where everything was on him without looking. He gave a half-smile to the Padawan, admiring her resolve, but stopping things for now.

”A Jedi knows their limits. Injuries happen.”

He moved forward a few steps and crouched down and slowly rolled her trouser leg up gently to see the swollen muscle and tender skin from the sprain. Connor nodded gently and looked up at her in the sun above casting a warm glow over her.

”This will hurt a little – think happy thoughts.”

Looking back to her delicate ankle, he held her calf muscle with one hand and placed the other gently over the ankle. As part of the muscle would be torn, it was time to use the natural Force inside both Connor and Chastity to help speed the healing of the damaged area. He closed his eyes and pushed down on the ankle, and braced himself for her reaction. His hold on her calf would keep her leg straight.

Finding the torn muscle, Connor enhanced the natural repair of the tissue with the Force through his touch, a few seconds of pressure that would start the internal repair of the damage.

It was soon over, and he gently held onto her leg, looking back up at her; hair surrounding her face as it hung down as she watched him, a glossy look in her eyes from muted tears thanks to the necessary pain.

”Time for RICE, Chast. Rest, ice, compression and elevation. Excuse me.”

Taking a breath, he rose up a little and placed an arm around her side and lifted her legs with his hand on the calf and supported in her in his arms. Ever a knight in shining armour. Or a Master, whichever.

”Second day as a Padawan. Already reduced to resting for a few days. Don’t think this gets you out of training. We just work on something else other than your body.”

She was light, and not a burden at all. This was the second time he had ever taught a Padawan, but the first time he felt he had pushed a little too far.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Connor wrapped his hands around her hurt ankle and Chastity braced herself for whatever came next. She had never been healed by the Force, and certainly didn’t know what to expect. The power of the Force flowed through them both, their auras mingling. She felt a dull, increasing pain in her ankle as he pressed on it with his strong, muscular hands, and it brought forth a few tears. The Padawan stayed silent through gritted teeth, biting her lower lip as she winced.

Then he lifted her up in his arms and she in turn, wrapped one arm around his shoulder to help him support her. The thumping of her heart seemed unnaturally loud in her ears. The injured Padawan gave her Master a weak smile, and with a laugh, said something unexpected, even for her.

“If this is what it takes to get you to hold me, I should have sprained my ankle earlier.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a small nod, Connor drifted his eyes from her, hands holding her frame gently like a wounded kitten needing TLC. This was the first time he’d had to carry a student away from training due to injury, but at least she was still conscious and had all her limbs. He took the stairs gently sideways, careful not to shake her body too much, and made his way across the now dry grass back to their Temple.

A few knowing looks and chuckles welcomed them back inside, and Connor had only a few quips to those showing interest in the situation.

”Padawan doesn’t know her own limits!” ”Tripped on a pebble!” ”Don’t blame me this time!”

Connor shifted as she started to become a dead weight as he crested the stairs leading up to the second floor, the blood pumping around his body closed out the water flowing behind them on the large water feature. He walked with purpose, checking she was still seemingly ok, and cursed her having private quarters on the other side of the floor to his.

Eventually he made it to her door, and used her palm to open it – and stepping in, holding his lips tight, he took nothing in of the room apart from her bunk on the far wall and gently laid her down on it before exhaling and standing up, arching his head back.

”Well…that was….fun…!”

He breathed, and looked back at her after quickly taking in her room.

”I’ll have a med…med-droid come up to check you out. You ok?”

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Once Connor placed Chastity gently on her bed, she placed a couple of pillows underneath her ankle and leaned back. She had to admit, she already missed their closeness, his arms wrapped around her and his scent. A long sigh escaped her lips. Ugh. Her bedroom suddenly felt like a jail cell. What would she do in these four walls now that her lightsaber training was done for the day? Chastity supposed she could study some Holotexts, but the prospect of being alone with nothing to do made her agitated. She looked at him, her lips turned down in a pout, not unlike the night before.

“I’m ok,” she said with a half-smile. “My pride hurts more than my ankle anyway.”

The idea of being treated by a med droid elicited a bigger frown. What was worse than being left alone in her bedroom? Being left alone in her bedroom with a clunky, metal nursemaid!

“Can’t we do more lessons?” she asked him hopefully. “You did say there were other things we could work on.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor sat on the edge of her bunk, carefully not to jolt her raised ankle. He noticed her boots on, and that wouldn’t help a bit. He began to slowly pull her buckles undone on the top of her boots, the leather straps coming open as he talked.

”Don’t worry – it happens.”

He slowly worked her boot down on the hurt ankle, pulling it apart as best he could to slide off her foot. He watched her face now and then to register pain. Then the other boot, which was easier and had no pain for her.

”These scars on my arm, the ones like cut up flesh? That was something I could say my pride caused also.”

The boot came off, and he trailed his hand over the top of her good foot and stroked her ankle softly. Her skin was smooth, and he found comfort by the touch. Was it wrong?

”I was climbing a mountain on Rhen Var when I was about your age, a little younger, with the Republic Jedi Order searching for relics and such from the Jedi Master Qel-Droma. Long story short, I got cocky, lost my way and fell.”

Connor sighed, but smiled, shaking his hand gently before returning it to his lap and laced his fingers.

”Fell right down the face, thankfully the mountain snow broke my fall, but ended up unconscious in a ice pool below with a torn up arm from the rocks. Waking up was a little embarrassing after other Padawans and Master in my cell saw it happen. BUT, see where I am now? We all fall now and then so we can get right back up and push on. You’ll do the same. And yes, we can work on other things, but maybe tomorrow. It depends how you feel? You’re going to be in shock and not concentrating It’s up to you.”

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Chastity hitched a breath as Connor gently pulled her boot off her hurt ankle. It was tender and sore and would be like that for a couple of days, but it was lightyears more comfortable without her footwear on it.

When he stroked the other ankle she closed her eyes for a moment. Connor’s touch was electric, and Chastity found herself wanting his hand to continue along the flesh of her calf and perhaps higher. He let it linger there while he told his story, but once he was finished he put his hands on his lap. Oh, Feth. Why was he pretending? Did he feel that touching her was inappropriate? She was briefed on the temple rules the day that she arrived, but she didn’t seem to remember anything about Master and Student relationships being forbidden. She didn’t quite understand. If he liked touching her, why didn’t he touch her?

Chastity stared at her Master for a few heartbeats, her expression a familiar mischievous one. The capricious version of the girl that Connor had dealt with in his private quarters had returned. She reached her hand out and took his. Then, her grey-blue eyes burning into his, she placed his hand back on her ankle.

"I would like to continue, yes."

She didn't seem to be talking about her lessons.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

She didn't say much, but she looked like she wanted to say something. He was ready to tell the stories of his past and any gory det -

- her hand took his and moved it back to her good ankle. Soft, smooth skin. His fingers instantly spread around her, gently caressing the flesh as he looked at his hand. A small moan left his lips and he suddenly felt all warm. What was he doing? He was feeling emotions reciprocated, wasn't he?

He stroked her still, hearing her silky voice, but not daring look at her. This was worse than the Dark Side - temptation. Connor was hurting. Hurting from accepting that Corvus was a Jedi before anything else. Hurting from Nima making him see the error of his arrogance in the past and hurting from seeing the pain he'd brought others. And Taeli - hurting from the confusion that plagued him about his feelings for her. She had pulled him back from the edge, and they had become closer, but duty pulled them away as things were developing.

She was the sister of Corvus, and a former Sith. Did that bother him? No, and yes. He wanted to explore his feelings for Taeli, but didn't want it to be awkward as the "second best Raaf sister". And now Chastity. Young, attractive, full of fire and interest in Connor himself.

Inside his ribs, his heart thumped and he felt cold now, after the warmth. He was weak, scared and confused. But he wasn't anyone's property or claim. He didn't belong to anyone. He moved forward a split second, and looked up at the Padawan. HIS Padawan. His responsibility and guidance in the morals and ethics and strength and weaknesses of the Jedi and the Light Side. Letting his guard down would be letting the ethics of being a Master collapse around him, and he wouldn't hear the end of it from the Grandmaster probably, and his closest friend Coci.

Connor swallowed gently and moved forward - towards her. Dreamy eyes...

He hesitated, and broke the spell. A frustrated sigh came, and he pulled back, a forced laugh. He took his hand from her leg and stood up, sweeping his hand over his jaw.

”Ahh. Ok.”

Warmth swept over him, and invisible beads of sweat formed on his brow.

”Mind if I get a drink?”

He was already going to the kitchenette in the sparse quarters that matched his, but devoid of her personal touch yet.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

The powerful spark of broken resolve flared up between them as Connor’s hand stayed put. His touch felt mesmerizing on her skin, but it wasn’t isolated to her ankle. Chastity felt it everywhere. The drum of her heart beat out of control. This wasn’t anything she had ever felt before, but she knew she wanted to feel more. Was this the passion that would lead to the Dark Side? No, No, don’t think about that now. Just, feel it. Chastity tried to meet her Master’s eyes, but his gaze was averted. He looked contemplative. Scratch that. More like, distressed.

For a few exquisite seconds he studied her, and then he leaned in for what she thought might be a kiss. Which was exciting! She had never been kissed before! Chastity moved forward, tilting her head in to meet his lips, and then...He pulled away, letting out a sharp laugh. She stared at him, wide-eyed and confused as he fled to the kitchen.

Ouch. Chastity felt a punch in the heart. Why didn’t he follow through? Was she not pretty enough? Not good enough somehow? Connor’s voice came from her kitchenette, asking for a drink.

“Sure. Help yourself,” came her grumbled response. While his back was turned, Chastity tossed one of the pillows against the wall petulantly. With a tilt of her head, she called to him.

“What’s wrong?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He heard her, but focused more on the glass filling with water. Connor saw it fill the large glass but wasn't ready for it to fill as quick, and it ran down over his hand. Cursing slightly, he didn't wait before taking a large refreshing gulp.

”Mhm...” he gasped, finishing half the glass,”...nothing, I'm fine.”

Holding the glass, the Jedi Master felt sick with nerves. This was what it meant to be human, and clear of thought and mind. There was no Sith Magic to corrupt him and no lies being told or violent outburst. This was just Connor Harrison, a beautiful girl and his own human feelings.

Breathing, holding back the nausea, Connor left the glass on the side and walked back around into the room and saw her sitting there. Feeling like the world was spinning, Connor rubbed his eyes and gave a nervous laugh.

”Chast, I think you're brilliant. A breath of fresh air. Just what I need. What the Silvers need.”

Then he looked at her, moving forward and sitting on the bunk, the side of her good ankle and looked straight at her. The least he could do was be upfront, honest and accept both himself and his feelings. Reaching up, he took her hand in his.

”Please tell me what I feel isn't wrong. I feel like I'm drowning here and betraying our bond and your trust,” he stumbled, ” and my status as Master. I'm damaged goods and I'm so sorry this feels awkward.”

His right knee slowly began to shake, a mixture of nerves and worry. He wanted to face the Dark Side head on but why couldn't he face his own emotions?

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Connor came back into the bedroom looking a little green around the gills. Then he told her she was brilliant, and it made Chastity’s heart feel a bit less bruised. As the handsome Jedi Master sat on the side of her bunk, she sat up and took a kneeling position. It wasn’t the best position for her ankle, but she didn’t care. He offered her his hand and she threaded her fingers through his. It was a comforting gesture, but as with every touch of his, also oddly intoxicating. The answers to his questions lingered right beyond her grasp, clouded by the fog of inexperience.

“I don’t know if I can tell you what’s right or wrong, Master Harrison,” was her honest answer. “I just want you to do what feels natural.”

With a bite of her lip, Chastity took his hand and slipped it beneath the folds of her tunic, letting it rest on the skin right over her heartbeat. That felt natural to her, anyway.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

There was nothing but flesh under her robe, and a heartbeat as violent as his. She was young and intoxicating - why was he intoxicated BY her? She made him feel alive, and wanted, and special, and powerful, and strong. A hand gently trembled on her chest and his head hung for a moment, trying to find the words.

”You know I've faced Sith Lords and wild beasts but it turns out facing my own inner heart is something far scarier.”

He couldn't even pretend to make a joke of the situation. It was just the two of them, and a quiet room. Outside, even Voss seemed to be holding it's breath.

”We need to talk,” Connor moved fast, and didn't hesitate. He could repair the damage after it was done.

He met her lips with his, and kissed them softly, reaching up with his free hand to take her by the neck and. A breath escaped his lips, parting for a second, before he kissed her again with a satisfying passion. As expected, he felt like he had stabbed himself in the heart and he felt suddenly deflated.

Breathing, holding back the nausea, Connor left the glass on the side and walked back around into the room and saw her sitting there. Feeling like the world was spinning, Connor rubbed his eyes and gave a nervous laugh.

”This is going to complicate things. It's not always part of the usual training rota I work to.”

Speaking, he drew his hand off her neck, gently moving down her shoulder to meet her hand and holding it in his. If he sighed anymore, he'd run out of oxygen. But he sighed in deflation once more at the crime he was trying to make up in his head that he'd just committed.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Connor was not the only one having an inner war over their self-imposed morals. Chastity herself knew that she was acting plainly on impulse. What was she doing, behaving this way? Her actions definitely did not behoove a Jedi Padawan. What would her Arkanian boarding school trainers think? She pushed those thoughts away. Force knew she was getting really good at that. Unlike her Master, eighteen years was not enough time to build up a defensive wall around her own convictions. In theory, she had been stalwart in wanting to maintain her purity, but purity was an abstract concept in comparison to the very real, very tactile physical sensations she was experiencing, and wanted to experience more of. Like that of Connor's hand underneath her tunic.

As her Master spoke, Chastity regretted that she didn't have any words of comfort for him. Her inexperience in matters of the heart was much like the vastness of Unknown Space. She had much to explore ahead of her, and was merely on the cusp of it. Force knew if only she had the right thing to say, maybe Connor's heart wouldn't feel so confused.

Suddenly, Chastity was jolted from her thoughts as he came in for a kiss. The good kind of kiss, the kind you feel all the way down to your toes. She yielded to it and, with fingers tangling in his hair, returned it with a passion that equally matched his. He drew away and then as if one wasn't good enough, he quickly gave her another. When he pulled away again, his face seemed full of...was that regret?

"Why is it going to complicate things?" she asked, her tone now challenging. The mouthy, headstrong verson had returned.

"Are we doing something wrong?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Looking side on at her, Connor took his hand and linked it with his other, forming a cradle to rest his chin, elbows resting on his knees.

”I don’t know. I really don’t. Probably. I knew, I KNEW, I shouldn’t have taken you as a Padawan after how well we get on. You should have started from the bottom with a stranger – no history, no bond. You’re my responsibility and what will the others say if this gets out?”

The Master was coming back to put the challenging Padawan in her place.

”It’ll be perfect for fingers to point and blame me for taking advantage, or messing your head or…something. Mixed up Connor strikes again, blah blah blah. Don’t do this, don’t do that.”

There was nothing to hide now – not after the line was crossed.

”Come on, you’re how old? 18? That’s…near 15 years younger than me. Age is a number, I agree, but you’re not thinking straight. This is new – this is a thrill. You’re rebelling. You’re taking control. Having fun. That’s fine. But I’ve got too much riding on my emotional state to risk everything for whatever that was. I'm not going to lose everything when this time month you'll be on the arm of someone else who pays you attention, who excites you or saves your life on the battlefield.”

He snapped his head to her, her dreamy eyes watching him but furrowed with a questionable frown.

”There’s another out there, one who I was nearly involved with, and could have been – now I don’t know what to do. She saved me from the Dark Side and I owe her. Now I’ve let her down. Let myself down. God damn it.”

A frustrated grunt came from inside and he leaned his head back and cracked his fingers together.

”What’s going on, I mean really. I need help. I’m a curse. They should quarantine me because all I do it hurt people.”

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

There was a fire in the Padawan’s eyes as she listened to him pour his heart out. Chastity felt sympathy for her Master’s confusion on the one-hand, but his frustration was at odds with her burgeoning desires, desires she hadn’t quite come to grips with herself. He began to insist that she was simply rebelling and having fun. He seemed sure that in a month she would be on the arm of another. It was ludicrous. How could he tell her what she was thinking, when only she knew that? It stoked the embers up into a blaze.

“If you don’t want me as a Padawan, then give me to someone else,” she dared him angrily. She snatched her hand away from his, and leaned back on the bed, plumping the pillow underneath her swollen ankle. She didn’t understand. Who cared what people said? If people gossiped about you, it usually meant you were interesting. At least that’s the spin she had always put on it.

Her ankle was not the only thing feeling a sting, and she lashed out like a wounded animal.

“If there is another, you should go to her,” Chastity insisted, her narrowed eyes welling up with tears. Her tone was laced with scorn as the words tumbled out. She couldn't stop them even if she wanted to. Her good girl filter was gone. There was only pure emotion.

“Go do the right thing, Connor. You seem much more interested in being the man you think others want you to be, than the man you are.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The truth stung, and he knew he should have been stronger and spoken sooner. What was he doing? He didn’t need this, not now. Connor stood up, edging away from her obvious anger spouting from the plumping of her pillow and the venom in her words. He drew his hand across in a line, as if to stop her incessant jealously.

”Just shut up, ok? There is no other. Not that it’s your business anyway, that’s for me to sort out. She deserves better.”

Better than a broken Silver Jedi. Connor turned and pulled his comlink out, or rather snatched it out and thumbed the signal, his back to the upset girl.

”This is Connor Harrison. Send a med-droid to Padawan Lunelle’s room at once – sprained ankle and needing immediate care.”

He signed off and turned back to her. Connor called her violet blade hilt to his palm, discarded on the end of the bed and held it by his own on his belt. Right now, he could have cried a little out of frustration – he knew this would happen, but didn’t want it to happen.

”Calm down and rest. I’ve got to report your accident and let the others know. You’ll not be leaving here for a day or so I imagine, the droid will inform you. And you don’t know me, Chastity, you have no idea. I'll check on you later when you've calmed down and I'll decide what to do then.”

He was at the door, and gave her a lingering look as he backed out and left into the corridor, seething with frustration and flexing his fingers into fists.

[member="Chastity Lunelle"]

 

[Chastity Lunelle]

Once he was gone, Chastity stared at the door, her mouth hanging open in disbelief. Good going, Chast. Your second day with Connor and you've already managed to injure yourself and to drive him away with your nastiness. A few angry tears rolled down her cheeks. So this is what rejection feels like? Perhaps she should go back to those Jedi vows she took at the boarding academy. To stay pure in mind, heart, and body. To a good little Padawan who follows orders to the letter and doesn't talk back. She wasn't sure she was capable of being meeting that ideal, but at least it would give her heart a modicum of armor against a man trying to break it.

Connor himself was so tortured, and he was obviously struggling with things she didn't quite understand. It seemed to her that he was over-complicating things for himself, but ultimately he was right, she didn't know him. Who was she to offer him advice? He was the teacher, and she the student. She instantly regretted pushing him. What if he decided to expel her from the order? Gah, don't think about that, Chast.

Finally, after stewing on the situation for a while, the Padawan's tears dried, and she let out a long sigh. She waited silently for the med droid to come tend to her injured ankle. It was going to be a long couple of days.

[member="Connor Harrison"]