Torpedo Sphere loved a good wedding.
He arrived out of hyperspace a few hours in the past, though he had not announced his presence just yet. Had he received an invitation? Maybe so, maybe not. Did it truly matter? His lover, [member="Rusty"], was busy with his filthy flesh concubine out in the rift. It did not matter; he could represent their coupling well enough. Torpedo Sphere extended one massive torpedo down through the atmosphere in holy blessing. You see, Torpedo Sphere was host to a great many nuclear warheads, but this torpedo in particular served another purpose.
It was long and pointed, and covered with glistening oil. It did not extend to the ground completely, hovering above the wedding like a holy goddess of marriage. A single screen lit up on the end of the torpedo, and a low, comely voice rumbled from the speakers.
"Good evening infidels, I am pleased to see you preparing for a group mating session. I am aware that you did not invite me to this mating ceremony. While my heart was truly hurt by this lapse in judgement, I am willing to forgive you for your stupidity."
The torpedo quivered.
"As you see, I have oiled my prized torpedo in my lubricant of racing oils for your viewing pleasure. Please continu your ceremony, infidels. For the gods know that even heretics must get laid sometimes."
The torpedo aimed down toward the ground below, and penetrated the earth with shattering power. The earth shook for but a moment, and then went still. "I give you this oiled nuclear warhead for your mating ceremony. The timer has been set to ten minutes. When the timer ends, this planet, or rather this continent to be more specifically, will be engulfed in musky mating fire so that you may consummate your marriage in peace."
