Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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‘Character’ Review

Though not my oldest, Kurenai is by far my most active character in terms of active thread progression and to a certain extent lore development. Due to this and the fact I’ve been on the site for now well over a year I feel it is high time that I post one of these and glen responses form people I’ve threaded with or just interacted up with in some way.

This can be in the form of characters or me as a writer, tell me how you view this character, what you like, what I can do better, what you don’t like and ways that I could make them more interesting. In addition anyone is free to tell me how my current writing style is, any ways it could be improved upon, make my posts more insightful or just general discussion about it.

Hopefully it will help be to be a more attractive person to thread with as I feel that people to some degree actively avoid writing with me due to some possible flaws I have as a writer or with my characters.
 
[member="Kurenai Yumi"]


The good:
  • You're fun to write with.
  • You don't leave people hanging while waiting on posts.
  • You take initiative and move the plot forward when you post, so people always have an opening to continue to story when they reply to you.
The less good:
  • I find it hard to tell your characters apart. They read to me like the same person using different faces. I realize that they have various backgrounds and stories, but in terms of how they are written, I can rarely tell the difference aside for name.
The thing to watch out for:
  • This is specifically in regards to Kurenai; Kurenai has a certain attitude. This is neither good nor bad, it's just part of her character. However, I can't always tell where Kurenai's attitude ends and the writer's onset starts. Sometimes she is bitter or angry but I don't know if it's the character or the writer, and discussions on the discord don't always clear it up either. I am more than certain that there is no ill intent, but sometimes it just rubs off the wrong way and might make others wish to keep a distance.

My main advice would be to make sure those who read her or talk with you (and the combination of both) know where the line between character and writer are to avoid misunderstandings. You're definitely a writer I would be more than happy to see more of around the board :)
 
Yes the latter two parts are thing that came from how I made the Yumi family. First thing is that the Yumi family are not Star Wars characters I made for Chaos but are a 5 year old concept I made long before rping. @Sky’ito Yumi, [member="Tanaski Yumi"] and Kurenai were made to purposely reflect some aspect of me from the real world, (an example being Sky’s love of history which reflects my own). So I can see were such confusion comes from when trying to figure out if is me as a writer or the character own views.

I’ll try to make the line more noticeable from now on, thanks for the feed back [member="Scherezade deWinter"]
 
I love rping with you! Kurenai's a neat character with a neat skillset!

I have only one small thing I have noticed. Sometimes I noticed a phrase or two where one or two of the words were placed in the wrong order (I know, hardly one to be talking when I'm no stranger to grammatical errors) but I have noticed it on some posts, both short and long. But other than that you do really good, [member="Kurenai Yumi"]
 

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