If you thought this was some sort of development blog or IC musings and the like, you thought wrong. Here is where I put my thoughts to (digital) paper and talk aloud lol
So, some may know, but others may not, that I was terminated from my job last week for no given reason after almost three years working hard for the company. At first, it was a shock. Half because I've never been terminated or laid off from a job before in my life, half because of how I was treated. If it was legal for my former employer to lay his hands on me, I'm fairly sure he'd have thrown me physically off the property.
Ultimately, it was a blow, but the past few days have shown me that while this incident was entirely uncalled for, it was most likely a blessing in disguise.
For roughly the past six months to a year, I've been talking heavily about getting out of the healthcare/Emergency Medical Service business. Between the long hours, the harsh working conditions, and the treatment from managers and supervisors, I'd lost my spark for the job field. It seemed for a long time that for every day I had where I felt good about my job, I had dozens where I felt helpless and stuck, locked in a rut I couldn't get out of. I couldn't go forward in my field at first because I had bills. When the bills were caught up, I didn't have the time. Then, finally, when I had the time, I didn't have the energy. Why? Because my job ran me so hard into the ground that some days it was an internal conflict just to get up to go to work in the morning. Was I depressed? Maybe. Probably. I wouldn't be surprised.
Now that I'm out of that company, away from that atmosphere, I've realized that what I thought wasn't reality. I had thought that all EMS and healthcare jobs were the same as I had experienced. I had believed that only the top of the food chain reaped any benefits while the rest had to make do with the Rut down below, trudging along their day to day, hoping for the best while secretly knowing that there was no real chance to advance. Now... I realize that's not the case. It's not the FIELD that does that.
It was the people I worked for.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like me. I feel like Popo. I'm not stressed. My tension migraines are entirely gone for the first time in months. I'm upbeat, I'm worry free. I mean, yeah, I'm concerned about finding work and income, but I know I'll find something. It's not a rush or a scramble, just a task to complete.
I've realized that I do actually love helping people. I miss being the guy who people look to in a bind. I miss being on the ambulance, doing a job that helped people, not an employer. My last job had ground me down, pounded that out of me. They didn't want someone who could take charge or lead when needed, or at least they didn't care if they had someone who could do that. They wanted a punch clock worker. Punch in, do the job, be quiet, deal with the problems, stay silent over workplace issues, and punch out. They wanted someone to make them money, nothing more, nothing less.
I'm not religious, I'm not a believer. Far from it, in fact. But I'm beginning to think this whole thing was supposed to happen. Why? Don't know. I just do. How do I think that? Well, less than twenty four hours after being fired, I found out one of the local Fire Departments is hiring. They only open hiring once a year and only for a few days, less than a week. It's a long, drawn out process, but one I think I can do. If I can get past all the written tests, physical trials, interviews, and get selected for the academy... I'm set.
Even if I don't get in, though, I'm still set. I have to get in physical shape for the Fire Department. I have to meet specific standards of fitness. Since I'm gunning to get fit anyways, may as well get in peak physical shape. If I don't get in, where can a guy in peak physical shape with lots of medical background and certifications go? Well, Military is a good start.
So, I have a Plan A and a Plan B. In the meantime, a part time job to cover my minimal bills keeps me rolling. I even have a Plan C, just in case Plan A and B fall through.
Dad's a merchant marine, has been for years and years. I figure if the Fire Department doesn't work out and the military fails to go through, I can go to sea for a half a year to a year, come home, and charge straight into college once more. This time, to get my paramedic license.
So... As much as my termination sucks and I wish it never happened... Looks like it's exactly what I needed to find my way.