I find myself with more questions than answers, although I'm certain my mind knows what's occurring.
Again, I've enraged you.
Apparently to the point you've left the planet. A feat, that. Some would mark that a point of pride.. not so much myself. It's a shame, truly, that I push so hard. But as I sit and ponder my motives, I can't help but wonder if the reason you're so angry is the same reason you always are.
You don't want to face yourself. Or rather, your emotions.
You're always so proper. Your image is immaculately maintained and cared for. I disrupt that; it's not a bad thing. It's not like I'm doing it in public - in fact, I make it a point to avoid it in public. I'm a private man; that goes without saying.
But you're something more than that.
You've not only taken your emotion and locked it away, but you've locked away the bits of you that make you special. Unique.
You pass these off to what I assume are your off duty personalities. It takes no genius to figure out that once you've taken to the sky, well, you've surpassed the limits of most. Have you stopped to consider why I wish to know you?
Obviously I know Ayden, but you made the assumption that by giving me throwaways I'd be appeased. You and I both know that when concessions are made, more are requested. I won't do that to you. I'm not writing this to ask for more, at least not in that manner.
What I am asking, however, is that you give showing yourself a chance. I, myself, was a born on some planet in the Unknown Regions that I haven't the faintest recollection of. At least in regards to where it is... how it's doing.
Me telling people that doesn't harm me. It doesn't help them. It just is, and they feel they know me perhaps a little better than they did before. Perhaps it's why I'm so fiercely protective of Corellia? It gives a motive, really. It shows where you've come from.
Because while I don't know my home, I remember it's wondrous blue skys, faint puffs of clouds drifting lazily across them as a cool summer breeze rustled the bristles of the pines that were so abundant. You can practically smell the freshly manicured lawns. Hear the sound of children playing down the street.
You don't lose that. Admitting you miss it does no good except show that you value more than your job. Your paycheck. What people think of you.
And that's what it is at the end of the day. We're more than our jobs. More than our titles. I'm no more a Jedi Master now than I was a Sergeant so long ago, because it doesn't matter what nametape you put on my chest, I'll always be who I am.
Because I don't change, really. I'll always be a little different in private than I am in public, and who I am when I'm with someone I love will always be the opposite of who I am when I'm with someone I hate. But that's just a part of having a personality and relations with other people.
That's what I'm asking of you.
To have a relationship with me. It doesn't have to be romantic. I just want to know you, beyond the title. Beyond the mask you so artfully wear.
I wore one too, long ago. It's what's keeping this message from flying away with the breeze - even if the real one is in the library now. But the funny things about masks is that they were specifically designed to be taken off. Perhaps one day you'll remember that a mask is a temporary thing, no more real than our vanity and pride.
They're there as long as you will them to be.
Spread your wings again, but this time... come back to earth.
All the best,
-S
Again, I've enraged you.
Apparently to the point you've left the planet. A feat, that. Some would mark that a point of pride.. not so much myself. It's a shame, truly, that I push so hard. But as I sit and ponder my motives, I can't help but wonder if the reason you're so angry is the same reason you always are.
You don't want to face yourself. Or rather, your emotions.
You're always so proper. Your image is immaculately maintained and cared for. I disrupt that; it's not a bad thing. It's not like I'm doing it in public - in fact, I make it a point to avoid it in public. I'm a private man; that goes without saying.
But you're something more than that.
You've not only taken your emotion and locked it away, but you've locked away the bits of you that make you special. Unique.
You pass these off to what I assume are your off duty personalities. It takes no genius to figure out that once you've taken to the sky, well, you've surpassed the limits of most. Have you stopped to consider why I wish to know you?
Obviously I know Ayden, but you made the assumption that by giving me throwaways I'd be appeased. You and I both know that when concessions are made, more are requested. I won't do that to you. I'm not writing this to ask for more, at least not in that manner.
What I am asking, however, is that you give showing yourself a chance. I, myself, was a born on some planet in the Unknown Regions that I haven't the faintest recollection of. At least in regards to where it is... how it's doing.
Me telling people that doesn't harm me. It doesn't help them. It just is, and they feel they know me perhaps a little better than they did before. Perhaps it's why I'm so fiercely protective of Corellia? It gives a motive, really. It shows where you've come from.
Because while I don't know my home, I remember it's wondrous blue skys, faint puffs of clouds drifting lazily across them as a cool summer breeze rustled the bristles of the pines that were so abundant. You can practically smell the freshly manicured lawns. Hear the sound of children playing down the street.
You don't lose that. Admitting you miss it does no good except show that you value more than your job. Your paycheck. What people think of you.
And that's what it is at the end of the day. We're more than our jobs. More than our titles. I'm no more a Jedi Master now than I was a Sergeant so long ago, because it doesn't matter what nametape you put on my chest, I'll always be who I am.
Because I don't change, really. I'll always be a little different in private than I am in public, and who I am when I'm with someone I love will always be the opposite of who I am when I'm with someone I hate. But that's just a part of having a personality and relations with other people.
That's what I'm asking of you.
To have a relationship with me. It doesn't have to be romantic. I just want to know you, beyond the title. Beyond the mask you so artfully wear.
I wore one too, long ago. It's what's keeping this message from flying away with the breeze - even if the real one is in the library now. But the funny things about masks is that they were specifically designed to be taken off. Perhaps one day you'll remember that a mask is a temporary thing, no more real than our vanity and pride.
They're there as long as you will them to be.
Spread your wings again, but this time... come back to earth.
All the best,
-S
