Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Letters to the past and present. (#1)

Hey Caltin,

Man, you have come a long way. As I sit here, thinking about all you have been through, I was convinced you would have fallen to the Dark Side more than a handful of times. I mean, your temper, how protective you are, your mean streak? How easy would it have been to do that, you know? I mean no one would have blamed you. You had been through one personal hell after another, losing your parents… twice... the claw stuck in your head… the tumor it caused. If you didn’t fall to the Dark Side, you very well could have died… several times.

But you didn’t, did you.

You didn’t let being abandoned by two different masters hold you back, you didn’t let that hot Sith get in your head no matter how many times she tried. Even the clone she made and sent to the Jedi, that was supposed to mess with you and you flipped her. I mean, I’m still marvelling at how you managed to pull that off and I knew it was going to happen! You flipped that other girl too. I don’t want to sound like some amorous-envy teenager but… STUD. I know, I know, that was not your plan, I’ll be quiet.

I never liked how paranoid you were in the past, but you made it work for you. Even those times you were ambushed, you held your own. You tried not to be, but you were the fighter that you needed to be, in your own mind being a model of what a Jedi was meant to be. You were a “sword” indeed. You cared though, you cared about those around you, even the Council. MAN you hated them, you wouldn’t admit it, but you did. You weren’t wrong in many aspects though, they didn’t represent what you thought was a Jedi. What I liked about your outlook though is that they were Jedi, and you were Jedi, and that was all that mattered. I like how that carried you through a lot of crap.

You changed when you became a Master, you looked at everything differently, and you had it all going for you. You were still going through your personal hells, but they weren’t holding you down. They were molding you, and you started to understand it. You should be proud of yourself for that, I am. What I am most proud of is that you used your status to inspire others, not to just get them to go along. I mean that story you told that day in the training room. It was your personal history, you know, second nature, those Padawans, you had them eating out of the palm of your hand. You used your reputation in the best way possible, it was great to see.

Then you were lost, lost for a long time. Yeah, I know. You had no direction, so you left on your little quests, trying to get going again. Then what do you find, but the planet Atollong, that conversation you had with the… whatever it was… “Bendy”? No, that’s not it, anyway, how long did you spend with him? That was an education. The thing is, why didn’t you tell anyone about it? Sure there were some idiots around you, but a lot of them may have benefitted from this. Oh well. That changed you too. You grew bitter. I don’t think either of us liked that.

Then you disappear, for eight hundred fifty years.

Here you are now, you’re an amalgamation of all of your different personas, you’re not bitter, you’re not anything. I like the fact that you’re still hanging on to your belief of what it means to be a Jedi, don’t give up on that, regardless of anything. You’re a good guy, I’ve known you for a long time and you’re not just a character I write. I’m not ashamed to say that you’re a good friend. Tell Kam to visit his descendant some time, the kid needs it. While you’re at it, tell Tyler to get over himself and show up in the galaxy, it could use his brand of mania. No matter what though, stick to being you. I don’t have control over that anymore, it’s all you. Just be you man, you’re great at it.

Your loyal wri… reader,
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Caltin Vanagor
I write for me. If you like what I do? GREAT!


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