Hello Padawans,
I know that many of us didn’t get along. I’m well aware of the feelings you had towards me and how you thought that I treated you. I make no apologies for how hard I was on any of you, there was the reason for it, you had all the potential in the galaxy and you realized it. It was some of the proudest days of my life when you were Knighted. I know it does not seem like it, I was aloof to many of you and there is no excuse. I did not want you to feel abandoned, I was. The thing is, I did not know how to be around you, around anyone.
I taught you though, taught you how to handle yourselves in every situation. I taught you how to handle yourselves in the field, ambushes, how to investigate, and be on your guard. I was so focused on being able to teach you how to act, I forgot how to myself. That is no excuse, I know, and I am not making them. I was more concerned about being the sword of the Jedi and not a Jedi, not a Master, a mentor, a friend.
It took me being frozen in ice, waking up eight hundred fifty years later to realize that the “Master/Padawan” relationship is more than just teaching the Force. I forgot that when you were with me, being more concerned about helping you defend yourselves because that is what I was spending all my time doing and not focusing on helping you grow as a person, as Jedi. It took such events that happened to me for me to realize what was happening to you.
I’m writing to you, to myself really to let you know that I am not making that mistake again. I have two Padawans now. I’m going to be better for them than I was to you. I’m going to teach them everything, sure, but I’m going to give them the personal help they may want or need. They deserve that, you deserved that. It took me too long to realize it.
I looked you up in the archives, all of you. After I disappeared, each of you, wow, you were amazing representatives of the Order and what it meant to be a Jedi. I’m proud of what you have done, I wish I could have told you, I wish I would have told you. I have no regrets about who I was, and I would not change anything but the fact that if I had it to do all over again, I would have told each of you that you made me proud to be a Jedi.
You make me proud to be a Jedi.
The Force will be with you, and you will be with me, always,
-Master Vanagor… Caltin
I know that many of us didn’t get along. I’m well aware of the feelings you had towards me and how you thought that I treated you. I make no apologies for how hard I was on any of you, there was the reason for it, you had all the potential in the galaxy and you realized it. It was some of the proudest days of my life when you were Knighted. I know it does not seem like it, I was aloof to many of you and there is no excuse. I did not want you to feel abandoned, I was. The thing is, I did not know how to be around you, around anyone.
I taught you though, taught you how to handle yourselves in every situation. I taught you how to handle yourselves in the field, ambushes, how to investigate, and be on your guard. I was so focused on being able to teach you how to act, I forgot how to myself. That is no excuse, I know, and I am not making them. I was more concerned about being the sword of the Jedi and not a Jedi, not a Master, a mentor, a friend.
It took me being frozen in ice, waking up eight hundred fifty years later to realize that the “Master/Padawan” relationship is more than just teaching the Force. I forgot that when you were with me, being more concerned about helping you defend yourselves because that is what I was spending all my time doing and not focusing on helping you grow as a person, as Jedi. It took such events that happened to me for me to realize what was happening to you.
I’m writing to you, to myself really to let you know that I am not making that mistake again. I have two Padawans now. I’m going to be better for them than I was to you. I’m going to teach them everything, sure, but I’m going to give them the personal help they may want or need. They deserve that, you deserved that. It took me too long to realize it.
I looked you up in the archives, all of you. After I disappeared, each of you, wow, you were amazing representatives of the Order and what it meant to be a Jedi. I’m proud of what you have done, I wish I could have told you, I wish I would have told you. I have no regrets about who I was, and I would not change anything but the fact that if I had it to do all over again, I would have told each of you that you made me proud to be a Jedi.
You make me proud to be a Jedi.
The Force will be with you, and you will be with me, always,
-Master Vanagor… Caltin
