I can't start by saying nothing of myself. This would make no sense without some explanation.
I come from a world that has been oppressed since Sheev Palpatine was Emperor. Our technology level was intentionally stifled and we live with the most primitive of tools at our disposal with the exception of droids that the Empire allowed us to use to support their operations. It was there that I first encountered fear, anger and hate, but only as most people do when growing up. What made me different was my connection to the Force, which required my family to hide me away until I had better control for fear the Empire would take me away as they had others. It wasn't hard for them to do as I was a pariah even under my own family due to being a bastard child born to an offworlder.
When I grew up my family hid me in plain sight, giving me the worst fief to be Baron of, though I applied myself as best I could. It was during this time that a plague was brought to our world. A plague which claimed the life of my mother. This one event changed the entirety of my life. Unused to such pain as this loss, I allowed hate to overcome me and I took the life of an Imperial I randomly encountered. After this I was forced to flee my homeworld with the help of a privateer group from a neighboring system.
This brought me into an overwhelming galaxy.
It took a very long time for me to come to grips with just how intensely different everything was from what I knew. Be it my first time on a starship or my first experience with a pod race, everything was too much. At least until I found my way to the Republic's Jedi in search of my father, figuring he could help me. There I could only learn he had disappeared and was not someone I should aspire to be like. I regret never knowing the man, but I no longer have a desire to meet him. He is not family to me. His children are, but only one of them will speak to me. The other, well, I'll explain when I get to that point in this.
When I reached the Jedi, Corvus Raaf was the Grandmaster of the Order. She took me as her student and taught me not only of the Force but of the galaxy as a whole. Without her teachings I would remain utterly lost and probably would be dead by now. In essence, she saved my life.
While I was still her student I was very much interested in fighting evil. My goal in life was to get the Republic or someone like it to go to my homeworld and free it of the long standing occupation by the Empire. I wanted to see them defeated for the harm they had inflicted on my home and my people. In hindsight this desire is hardly different from that of what one would call Sith motivation. I don't disagree that I was motivated by hatred. It plagued me back then, and even now it still wriggles at the back of my mind, gnawing at my defenses and wanting to once again gain hold of me. Emotions are a very difficult thing to master and though we try, we all fall short.
This desire to fight lead me to take part in the battle for the Roche asteroids. It was there that I encountered my half sister. I did not expect it to be so. Nor did I expect her to try and kill me merely for resembling our father. Apparently I look very much like his younger self, and my sister, Spencer, had a deep hatred for him that hardened her heart even against me. Only her twin brother Aston will speak with me.
This wasn't the real turning point in my life, though. The real turning point was when a member of the Republic armed forces opened the hangar doors and spaced civilians, allies, and enemies without a second thought. It was this act that taught me the lines between good and evil could not be trusted.
When I returned to the temple I was distraught. Never in my life had I felt such a loss of life. And to find out that the person responsible was a member of the Republic military made it even worse. I took my discomfort to Master Raaf and we had a lengthy discussion about peacefulness and what the Jedi were meant to be. In the end I believed the Jedi were being misused by the Republic, and many Jedi found far too much enjoyment in that being the case. My disdain for the orders of Jedi began there, but wasn't solidified until after Master Raaf disappeared and Grandmaster Korr turned against our wishes and dissolved the order to join Alliance's militant Jedi.
I've spent a lot of the time since that event deep in thought on my own, and occasionally venturing to work with the Silver Jedi, though I find problems amongst them as well. The truth I have discovered is that there is no Light or Dark in the Force. These are concepts creayed as a means of control over the lives amd actions of indoviduals or as a way of covering up the bad actions of some.
Historical records I have seen and read indicate this has been the case ever since the origin of the Jedi, Dark Jedi and Sith. The Jedi are the reason the Sith exist because they attacked those who were studying parts of the Force they didn't think shoukd be studied. Then again, years later, the Jedi were responsible for the destruction of the Sith species. Jedi and Sith are two sides of the same coin, they just convince themselves that what they are doing is for good and that makes things justifiable to them that shouldn't be.
Light and Dark are mere social constructs. Perceptions can be deceiving. For this reason I reject the Jedi and Sith alike because neither is capable of ever achieving peace so long as either exists. Thus I forge a new path which I will expound upon later.
I come from a world that has been oppressed since Sheev Palpatine was Emperor. Our technology level was intentionally stifled and we live with the most primitive of tools at our disposal with the exception of droids that the Empire allowed us to use to support their operations. It was there that I first encountered fear, anger and hate, but only as most people do when growing up. What made me different was my connection to the Force, which required my family to hide me away until I had better control for fear the Empire would take me away as they had others. It wasn't hard for them to do as I was a pariah even under my own family due to being a bastard child born to an offworlder.
When I grew up my family hid me in plain sight, giving me the worst fief to be Baron of, though I applied myself as best I could. It was during this time that a plague was brought to our world. A plague which claimed the life of my mother. This one event changed the entirety of my life. Unused to such pain as this loss, I allowed hate to overcome me and I took the life of an Imperial I randomly encountered. After this I was forced to flee my homeworld with the help of a privateer group from a neighboring system.
This brought me into an overwhelming galaxy.
It took a very long time for me to come to grips with just how intensely different everything was from what I knew. Be it my first time on a starship or my first experience with a pod race, everything was too much. At least until I found my way to the Republic's Jedi in search of my father, figuring he could help me. There I could only learn he had disappeared and was not someone I should aspire to be like. I regret never knowing the man, but I no longer have a desire to meet him. He is not family to me. His children are, but only one of them will speak to me. The other, well, I'll explain when I get to that point in this.
When I reached the Jedi, Corvus Raaf was the Grandmaster of the Order. She took me as her student and taught me not only of the Force but of the galaxy as a whole. Without her teachings I would remain utterly lost and probably would be dead by now. In essence, she saved my life.
While I was still her student I was very much interested in fighting evil. My goal in life was to get the Republic or someone like it to go to my homeworld and free it of the long standing occupation by the Empire. I wanted to see them defeated for the harm they had inflicted on my home and my people. In hindsight this desire is hardly different from that of what one would call Sith motivation. I don't disagree that I was motivated by hatred. It plagued me back then, and even now it still wriggles at the back of my mind, gnawing at my defenses and wanting to once again gain hold of me. Emotions are a very difficult thing to master and though we try, we all fall short.
This desire to fight lead me to take part in the battle for the Roche asteroids. It was there that I encountered my half sister. I did not expect it to be so. Nor did I expect her to try and kill me merely for resembling our father. Apparently I look very much like his younger self, and my sister, Spencer, had a deep hatred for him that hardened her heart even against me. Only her twin brother Aston will speak with me.
This wasn't the real turning point in my life, though. The real turning point was when a member of the Republic armed forces opened the hangar doors and spaced civilians, allies, and enemies without a second thought. It was this act that taught me the lines between good and evil could not be trusted.
When I returned to the temple I was distraught. Never in my life had I felt such a loss of life. And to find out that the person responsible was a member of the Republic military made it even worse. I took my discomfort to Master Raaf and we had a lengthy discussion about peacefulness and what the Jedi were meant to be. In the end I believed the Jedi were being misused by the Republic, and many Jedi found far too much enjoyment in that being the case. My disdain for the orders of Jedi began there, but wasn't solidified until after Master Raaf disappeared and Grandmaster Korr turned against our wishes and dissolved the order to join Alliance's militant Jedi.
I've spent a lot of the time since that event deep in thought on my own, and occasionally venturing to work with the Silver Jedi, though I find problems amongst them as well. The truth I have discovered is that there is no Light or Dark in the Force. These are concepts creayed as a means of control over the lives amd actions of indoviduals or as a way of covering up the bad actions of some.
Historical records I have seen and read indicate this has been the case ever since the origin of the Jedi, Dark Jedi and Sith. The Jedi are the reason the Sith exist because they attacked those who were studying parts of the Force they didn't think shoukd be studied. Then again, years later, the Jedi were responsible for the destruction of the Sith species. Jedi and Sith are two sides of the same coin, they just convince themselves that what they are doing is for good and that makes things justifiable to them that shouldn't be.
Light and Dark are mere social constructs. Perceptions can be deceiving. For this reason I reject the Jedi and Sith alike because neither is capable of ever achieving peace so long as either exists. Thus I forge a new path which I will expound upon later.
