Things have been suuuuuuuper crazy lately! I have been training hard, Asaraa Vaashe has me doing loads of stuff and keeps pushing me to be better, saying that dad would do crazy things to help push her to be better. Some crazy story about cutting his own flesh to teach her how to Force Heal and stuff like that. It was insane and pretty sure she exaggerated it just so the training she is doing seems tame in comparison. Anyway, been with the CIS for a couple of years now, time has just flown by, like seriously seems only yesterday that I was back in SJC, running around with dad being dad. I still miss him but things just don't feel as raw as they did. Like I read older posts and remember how I use to cry myself to sleep and wasn't able to get out of bed because everything seemed to be too much and just overwhelming. Now, well, it isn't completely gone and I still get days where I feel down and struggle to focus on much but I get out more and dealing with my emotions and grief much better. My therapist recently told me how pleased they were with my progress so that was something!
I also got my Lightsaber not too long ago. I was unsure what I wanted in terms of hilt since I know Dad and Asaraa can be a bit more aggressive in Lightsaber combat than I am but I am also more combat based than Mum or Nitya is so I wanted something that was single bladed so I had a hand free to use the Force but also fitted my fighting style. I went with a reverse single blade hilt, it's a little different and I was surprised that was what the Force guided me to make but I love it and Asaraa has been training me hard to master fighting with it since things can be a little different to normal hilt fighting. My combat fighting hasn't been loads since I keep asking Asaraa to teach me Force stuff and my singing has really got me learning how to control this Force Scream. While I get it is a Dark Side power and I need to be super careful with it, the power just seems a lot more natural in terms of using it and controlling it than other powers which can take a lot more time in order to harness to the same degree.
Not spoken to Mum or Nitya much as of late but hoping to get in touch someday soon, I miss spending time with them, not aiming to move back to Kashyyyk but spending some time with them won't be so bad. Maybe more time with Mum than Nitya, she can still be a pain in the butt!!! I have been trying to hang out with new people and explore things more recently since I am starting to feel better but trying to do it slowly so that I don't get overwhelmed or burned out and end up taking like a million steps back. Fingers crossed that I start feeling better in my Jedi training, I still feel like I am behind everyone else my age and other Padawans but everyone says "don't compare yourself to others". Sounds dumb but I need to just look where I was and how far I have progressed more is what I guess is what they mean.
Anyway, aiming to keep updating a bit more frequent, things have been super crazy so I might have forgotten you diary for a bit but this was nice way to collect my thoughts. I am hoping to have at least like 6 or 7 Force powers under decent control soon so that might be what I write about. Also, Asaraa is threatening some kind of intense Djem So training. Uggggggghhhh!!
Till nest time!!!
I also got my Lightsaber not too long ago. I was unsure what I wanted in terms of hilt since I know Dad and Asaraa can be a bit more aggressive in Lightsaber combat than I am but I am also more combat based than Mum or Nitya is so I wanted something that was single bladed so I had a hand free to use the Force but also fitted my fighting style. I went with a reverse single blade hilt, it's a little different and I was surprised that was what the Force guided me to make but I love it and Asaraa has been training me hard to master fighting with it since things can be a little different to normal hilt fighting. My combat fighting hasn't been loads since I keep asking Asaraa to teach me Force stuff and my singing has really got me learning how to control this Force Scream. While I get it is a Dark Side power and I need to be super careful with it, the power just seems a lot more natural in terms of using it and controlling it than other powers which can take a lot more time in order to harness to the same degree.
Not spoken to Mum or Nitya much as of late but hoping to get in touch someday soon, I miss spending time with them, not aiming to move back to Kashyyyk but spending some time with them won't be so bad. Maybe more time with Mum than Nitya, she can still be a pain in the butt!!! I have been trying to hang out with new people and explore things more recently since I am starting to feel better but trying to do it slowly so that I don't get overwhelmed or burned out and end up taking like a million steps back. Fingers crossed that I start feeling better in my Jedi training, I still feel like I am behind everyone else my age and other Padawans but everyone says "don't compare yourself to others". Sounds dumb but I need to just look where I was and how far I have progressed more is what I guess is what they mean.
Anyway, aiming to keep updating a bit more frequent, things have been super crazy so I might have forgotten you diary for a bit but this was nice way to collect my thoughts. I am hoping to have at least like 6 or 7 Force powers under decent control soon so that might be what I write about. Also, Asaraa is threatening some kind of intense Djem So training. Uggggggghhhh!!
Till nest time!!!
