Dear Diary,
So, lately I have been on a mission to learn more about the Force, in particular, using the Force in combat. My aim is to be best Jedi I can be and to be the best Jedi I can be, I need to be able to defend everyone who is in trouble. I know some Jedi become more passive and I know my mum hates going into battle or seeing loved ones go into war. Especially since dad passed away fighting some war on another world. However, I am beginning to understand my father's approach to being a Jedi, to keep the darkness at bay by being on the frontlines fighting it. I wasn't super keen initially and constantly thought about just being a Jedi Healer or maybe some sort of explorer, find new worlds or pave new trade routes but while those are interesting I feel that drive to fight back. Defend my home, my friends, my family, my people in the Confederacy. Perhaps I am also hoping to understand what drove my father through following his example, a way to connect with him once more. I could see it being that way but I haven't truly thought about it that depth, it was just something my therapist mentioned when we discussed the new direction I wanted to take in life.
In terms of hobbies, I have been sticking with the music, refused to let that derail just because I have put in renewed energy into training. I got a solid band together and we are playing some small gigs. Not many places are looking to hire 15 year olds so getting decent gigs to get recognised is hard but we posted so music videos of us on the net and there has been some solid feedbacks. There have been a lot of trolls but Sean has been handling though. (Sean is a solid friend, bit dim but really good with the drums and tech stuff!) I've been slipping behind the others a little with my guitar, thankfully due to my Force Scream training, my vocals are still pretty solid. Just been needing to figure out a healthy balance since my training is kicking off in a new direction but not hundred percent sure what it will all entail. Asaraa has been helping me out best she can when she isn't too busy with her other work and looking after Kristyl. (Edit: Oh! I haven't mentioned it before it seems, but Asaraa had a daughter named Kristyl! I have been helping out with babysitting when I can, which has been fun though not sure I am cut out to be a mum, seems ridiculous tough! So much nappy changing! Barf! Second Edit: Oh, Kristyl's dad is Caedyn though Caedyn and Asaraa broke up awhile back, which is good she can do better than that guy, he has such a big stick up him from what I've seen!)
Been focusing my fighting style on reverse Shien, since that form was built for the style of Lightsaber I have, as well as Makashi because I thought that would be a solid balance of the two. Something to handle blasters and multiple enemies while having Makashi for duelling and more finesse encounters. It has been tough to get decent in the two forms, since they do conflict in how to use them and such but I am steadily improving and training with Asaraa has helped plenty! She has been great though cracking the whip hard since I am no longer wandering around like a headless chicken. There's also been this whole Netherworld thing going on, I was able to meet with dad, he was different to what I remembered. He looked more like what Asaraa and mum would describe him as, he seemed really pleased that I was happy and getting along with my training. He also explained that he was a Grey Jedi so he had a connection to the Darkside as well but it didn't corrupt him, he stressed it was super important to find balance. He was also sorry for not being around to see me grow up but was proud and that as long as I was connected to the Force then he would always be with me.
It was sweet and I enjoyed chatting with him, he did seem a little stiff like most Jedi, like somewhat preachy about how to be a Jedi but once we moved away from Jedi talking and focused on other things he relaxed and was much better. Understanding that him and mum had ties with the Darkside and that they both were Jedi Masters, it has helped me realise that having this connection and natural gift with Force Scream isn't that much of a curse that I thought. Which has super progressed my Force Scream training, like teachers been saying I should not be able to progress this quickly with it, especially since my progression with other powers is nowhere near as good. Hopefully my other Force Powers start coming to me more naturally now that I am focusing a lot of training towards them but will have to see.
Anyways, that's it for now!
So, lately I have been on a mission to learn more about the Force, in particular, using the Force in combat. My aim is to be best Jedi I can be and to be the best Jedi I can be, I need to be able to defend everyone who is in trouble. I know some Jedi become more passive and I know my mum hates going into battle or seeing loved ones go into war. Especially since dad passed away fighting some war on another world. However, I am beginning to understand my father's approach to being a Jedi, to keep the darkness at bay by being on the frontlines fighting it. I wasn't super keen initially and constantly thought about just being a Jedi Healer or maybe some sort of explorer, find new worlds or pave new trade routes but while those are interesting I feel that drive to fight back. Defend my home, my friends, my family, my people in the Confederacy. Perhaps I am also hoping to understand what drove my father through following his example, a way to connect with him once more. I could see it being that way but I haven't truly thought about it that depth, it was just something my therapist mentioned when we discussed the new direction I wanted to take in life.
In terms of hobbies, I have been sticking with the music, refused to let that derail just because I have put in renewed energy into training. I got a solid band together and we are playing some small gigs. Not many places are looking to hire 15 year olds so getting decent gigs to get recognised is hard but we posted so music videos of us on the net and there has been some solid feedbacks. There have been a lot of trolls but Sean has been handling though. (Sean is a solid friend, bit dim but really good with the drums and tech stuff!) I've been slipping behind the others a little with my guitar, thankfully due to my Force Scream training, my vocals are still pretty solid. Just been needing to figure out a healthy balance since my training is kicking off in a new direction but not hundred percent sure what it will all entail. Asaraa has been helping me out best she can when she isn't too busy with her other work and looking after Kristyl. (Edit: Oh! I haven't mentioned it before it seems, but Asaraa had a daughter named Kristyl! I have been helping out with babysitting when I can, which has been fun though not sure I am cut out to be a mum, seems ridiculous tough! So much nappy changing! Barf! Second Edit: Oh, Kristyl's dad is Caedyn though Caedyn and Asaraa broke up awhile back, which is good she can do better than that guy, he has such a big stick up him from what I've seen!)
Been focusing my fighting style on reverse Shien, since that form was built for the style of Lightsaber I have, as well as Makashi because I thought that would be a solid balance of the two. Something to handle blasters and multiple enemies while having Makashi for duelling and more finesse encounters. It has been tough to get decent in the two forms, since they do conflict in how to use them and such but I am steadily improving and training with Asaraa has helped plenty! She has been great though cracking the whip hard since I am no longer wandering around like a headless chicken. There's also been this whole Netherworld thing going on, I was able to meet with dad, he was different to what I remembered. He looked more like what Asaraa and mum would describe him as, he seemed really pleased that I was happy and getting along with my training. He also explained that he was a Grey Jedi so he had a connection to the Darkside as well but it didn't corrupt him, he stressed it was super important to find balance. He was also sorry for not being around to see me grow up but was proud and that as long as I was connected to the Force then he would always be with me.
It was sweet and I enjoyed chatting with him, he did seem a little stiff like most Jedi, like somewhat preachy about how to be a Jedi but once we moved away from Jedi talking and focused on other things he relaxed and was much better. Understanding that him and mum had ties with the Darkside and that they both were Jedi Masters, it has helped me realise that having this connection and natural gift with Force Scream isn't that much of a curse that I thought. Which has super progressed my Force Scream training, like teachers been saying I should not be able to progress this quickly with it, especially since my progression with other powers is nowhere near as good. Hopefully my other Force Powers start coming to me more naturally now that I am focusing a lot of training towards them but will have to see.
Anyways, that's it for now!
