Dear Diary,
So, this is the first entry I am doing. I read online that keeping a diary can help with processing grief and in collecting thoughts, so I figured why not give it a go. I am currently looking to form a rock band, but it is super hard, everyone on Theed is all classical and artsy which is so frustrating and suuuuuuper dumb! I am practicing my guitar playing and my singing is alright though I have to be careful with voice cracks from time to time, puberty sucks! Like super sucks! But my training is coming along well, I finally got a hand on using Force Scream, though the training for it was terrifying and the Sith guy was not the most friendly, like gave off serial killer vibes. Might have been the fact he was covered in blood and didn't seem to care, yeah, that didn't help. Also been trying to train some of my other abilities, like the Force powers mom taught me before she left for who knows where. Haven't heard from her in ages, getting worried and might have to write or contact Nitya. Ugh.. that'll be a pain, Nitya is my sister, older but not the oldest, she was kinda like the middle child when growing up since Asaraa wasn't around that much and we had Marcus around when growing up. She can be so annoying to talk with and swear she loves to rub in my face that she is older, more grown up and better in the Force than I am. But I hope she is okay with mum not around.
Suppose I might as well mention how well I am dealing with father's death, it still hurts. In my dreams, he is alive and well, like before he got ill well, he is joking around and looking healthy not the thin, ill man he was before he died. He isn't rushing off to Jedi meetings and definitely isn't running off to war, he is just around and showing he loves me. But then I wake up and reality hits, it makes me cry a few times in the morning but I am getting better, I tend not to leave my room till it is over and isn't lasting as long as when he first passed. I am not sure how Asaraa is taking the loss, she can be hard to judge, everyone else I am around don't really know who heis was or didn't really interact with him so they tend to keep a distance when I am feeling down. I am slowly starting to move forward and I know I keep getting told that in time things will get easier and that I will just remember the good times but I don't want to forget any of him and I don't think it will get easier. Hopefully just expressing my feelings in song and in here, that might help me. I don't know.
Anyways, gunna stop here. Hopefully write again soon.
So, this is the first entry I am doing. I read online that keeping a diary can help with processing grief and in collecting thoughts, so I figured why not give it a go. I am currently looking to form a rock band, but it is super hard, everyone on Theed is all classical and artsy which is so frustrating and suuuuuuper dumb! I am practicing my guitar playing and my singing is alright though I have to be careful with voice cracks from time to time, puberty sucks! Like super sucks! But my training is coming along well, I finally got a hand on using Force Scream, though the training for it was terrifying and the Sith guy was not the most friendly, like gave off serial killer vibes. Might have been the fact he was covered in blood and didn't seem to care, yeah, that didn't help. Also been trying to train some of my other abilities, like the Force powers mom taught me before she left for who knows where. Haven't heard from her in ages, getting worried and might have to write or contact Nitya. Ugh.. that'll be a pain, Nitya is my sister, older but not the oldest, she was kinda like the middle child when growing up since Asaraa wasn't around that much and we had Marcus around when growing up. She can be so annoying to talk with and swear she loves to rub in my face that she is older, more grown up and better in the Force than I am. But I hope she is okay with mum not around.
Suppose I might as well mention how well I am dealing with father's death, it still hurts. In my dreams, he is alive and well, like before he got ill well, he is joking around and looking healthy not the thin, ill man he was before he died. He isn't rushing off to Jedi meetings and definitely isn't running off to war, he is just around and showing he loves me. But then I wake up and reality hits, it makes me cry a few times in the morning but I am getting better, I tend not to leave my room till it is over and isn't lasting as long as when he first passed. I am not sure how Asaraa is taking the loss, she can be hard to judge, everyone else I am around don't really know who he
Anyways, gunna stop here. Hopefully write again soon.
