Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Species Zauberlord

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d2dfff7c4b1c9bacfb60d37c1eac4a06--count-dracula-vampire-art.jpg

  • OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: Making this race to replace my current one.
  • Image Credit:Deviantart-Naznemati
  • Canon: N/A
  • Links: N/A
  • GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Name: Zauberlord
  • Designation:Sentient
  • Homeworld:N/A
  • Language: Telepathy
  • Average Lifespan: 250 Years.
  • Estimated Population: Rare

  • Description:
  • 6ft five inches tall, built in muscular structure.
  • They have glowing beady eyes and there skin appears to look like that of a human.
  • This species the Zauberlord is a space faring race along time ago centuries before the great wars between the Jedi and sith there was the mandalorian invasion and there home world was destroyed and lost in the notes of history.
  • The name of the planet his people came from could no longer be remembered. The holocron logs and star charts were destroyed and now it is just a faded memory in the universe. Zauberlord's are a rare species and some of them are highly gifted with the force specifically force heal and force drain.
  • Like The Witches of Dathomir , The Zauberlord's had there own version of the force, there was no light there was no dark there just was the force the pure connection that tied all things in this world and the next.
  • There is good chance you could hands with a Zauberlord and never even know, what it was. they were Mysterious and like to be chameleons, blending in and disappearing.

  • PHYSICAL INFORMATION:
  • Breathes: The Zauberlord breathes Oxygen.
  • Average height of adults: 2 meters
  • Average length of adults:N/A
  • Skin color: Caucasian or Tan
  • Hair color: black or white

  • Distinctions:
  • There deep connection to the force granted there race the rare skill of telepathy the ability to mentally communicate with other individuals. Some Force-users were able to communicate via telepathy.
  • The Zauberlords never used this gift of telepathy as weapon to invade peoples minds it was only used for universal communications.
  • The Zauberlords had naturally superior telepathic ability and found it , insulting and beneath them to communicate with people threw words, But as it was required in some cases they would use words if they had too. They could speak to any creature from any culture in the perfect dialect of there home world as a telepathic.
  • They are not casual about there abilities and usually only use them in defense or to make a serious point. They life's are lived nomadic and usually if you can actually identify The Zauberlords and that is hard to do because they are Chameleons they use technology and there skills to be ghosts. If you actually recognize one though they would appear to be no different than a Ordinary human at first glace you could mistake them for any smuggler in a star port.
  • They do not need to be flashy or make a big scene there just another person in the back ground that vanishes as fast as it appears. the big difference between the Zauberlords and a human would be the simple fasts of biology , Zauberlord biological structure and muscle tissues are designed to make them strong and fast.
  • It is said a black market weapon know as the Felucian Skull blade was a Zauberlords favorite weapon they were constructed from the skull and teeth of specific native creatures. These creatures grew trace amounts of Force-reactive crystals, similar to those used in the construction of light sabers, in their bones allowing weapons constructed from them, when imbued with the Force, to block light sabers and blaster fire. Skull blades were rarely seen off of Felucia but were sometimes sold on the black market.These were powerful blades and every chance a Zauberlord had to acquire one they would because you never knew when they would break.
  • They preferred Mystery and secrecy and people talking about them obviously did not please them.They train all the time perfecting their bodies like spartan machines always studying new combat ideas and testing new weapons, when it came to battle they like to be ahead of the game, cold cunning and ruthless.
  • There is not much difference between the male and female this is one thing they have in common with humans aside from the obvious basic anatomy and the fact the women is a little smaller.
  • Zauberlords have Excellent hearing so good in fact they can hear a persons pulse and track them simply by the sound of there breathing or heart beat. Another interesting thing about this race is like a cat they can see perfectly in the dark. There eyes change in the dark to pure black and it gives them the ability to see Perfect dark vision and to see into the infrared spectrum.
  • The Zauberlords love the cold weather. They consider a thing they the call Architects of the Universe like there ""gods"" the creators of all things and the builders of all worlds,The alpha and omega ,the start the end of all things like vikings and Valhalla they have the Architects of the Universe,this is there personal faith{as far as i know no canon supports such a idea}.

  • Races:
  • There is no sub races or distinction of Zauberlord, they all come from basically the same genetic profile and focus most importantly on protecting the purity of there dna only worthy genetic Zauberlord are allowed to reproduce and continue the Zauberlord bloodlines, there may only be 500 Zauberlords in the entire galaxy but there genetic material is pretty much flawless. The have such a deep connection to the force as it flows with them naturally in all things there respect for the force is above all else.

  • Strengths:
  • The Zauberlords have advanced strength and speed nearly twice that of as regular human.
  • Zauberlords have Excellent hearing so good in fact they can hear a persons pulse and track them simply by the sound of there breathing or heartbeat
  • Because of there deep connection to the force Master Zauberlords are exceptionally good at two kinds of force specifically for heal and force drain, they can use there ability of force heal to cure most ailments be it common sickness or battle field wounds.
  • They can see in the Perfect dark vision and to see into the infrared spectrum, It only works at night.

  • Weaknesses:
  • Water:The Zauberlord cannot survive in water in large bodies of water. Though they can stand to be in water for short moments at a time, any more than that and they will drown. Due to their thick muscle fibers,Zauberlord are completely unable to swim.
  • They are often contemptuously blind to the advantages of other civilizations.
  • Murderous intent: Zauberlords are carnivores, predators and need to eat. If they don't keep themselves sufficiently fed, they will start hungering for anything that has meat on its bones. Killing a entire colony if that's what it takes the stave off the hunger.Starving a Zauberlord will usually turn it into a very messy situation resulting in Mass murder.
  • Nomadic- Because the Zauberlords do not possess a home world anymore, or truly any permanents holdings on other worlds, that does somewhat harm the capacity for how many members their species can have. Should one venture far enough from known space, they would be restricted to there ships and advancing the population might prove difficult.
  • Backstabbing- The Zauberlords are a pretty selfish and conniving species, really caring only for themselves and ways to extend their life-span and power they do not have any capability for empathy.





  • CULTURE:
  • Diet: They eat meat and drink blood , they are carnivorous. They are able to eat other things but they find the taste usually disgusting and prefer not too. Spices have a high tendency to make them sick.
  • They only feed on animals as much fun as it would be to hunt other species.
  • Communication: they prefer to communicate threw telepathy but if they are forced to they will communicate with the words of the person they are trying to speak too by telepathically reading there minds and learning there words, in the event they can not read the creatures mind, they will use a universal translator to bridge the communications gap.
  • Technology level: There technology level would be considered equal to galactic basic.
  • Religion/Beliefs: Some of them belief in the great Architects that created the universe and think they were chose by those creators and gifted with the purest form of the force , Not light side or dark side ,just the pureness of Neutrality.

  • General behavior:
  • They are Nomadic and travel around a lot, traveling the universe and enjoying life always training and educating themselves. There family values are strict from the day there born the teaching and education begins in the force, As they grow up and get stronger there eventually taught, the ways of there people and the ways of combat.
  • The combat of the Zauberlords is a mix of advanced force maneuvers and psychical combat, they do not use light sabers, they prefer strongly made Felucian Skull blades.
  • There mates are choose every seven years when they come together for the sole purpose of breeding, once the child is born the mother cares for it and teaches it until the child is ten, then the father spends the next six years teaching the kid, once the child reaches sixteen he is able to go out on his own and choose his own fate in the galaxy. They have no concern for the politics of other races , they mind there own business and deal with people who cross them severely.
  • The Zauberlord are carnivorous as a species they enjoy the hunt and struggle of the chase and tearing apart the enemy once the catch up to them.
  • As a Nomadic race with access to a lot of resources and technology, they use there intellect to build ships and droids and invent new forms of technology, they sell there wares to everyone as previously mentioned they do not care about light side or dark side only about keeping the balance of the universe.


  • HISTORICAL INFORMATION
  • The first mentions of the Zauberlords can be traced to the unknown space beyond the Colluctari Nebula, it is said the Zauberlords used to do contract work for higher factions and that the reason they became nomadic when there planet was destroyed centuries ago.
  • It is hard to figure out how much is fact and how much is just legend but apparently the Zauberlords abused there power and used it to help other factions in war and it caused the great devastation many planets were lost and and many people were killed. After this time know as the darkness the Zauberlords went away, for thousands of years the Zauberlord race went to the darkest reaches of the universe and forgot about the rest of the galaxy.
  • Eventually time had passed and the Zauberlords race grew slowly, people forgot about the great darkness and all holocron records were destroyed in the Mandalorian invasions. The Zauberlords decided not to make that mistake twice and decided they would keep there hands out of war. It was not there problem what the rest of the universe was up too and they had become Nomadic training in combat and the force and educating there minds in mechanics and biological weapons.
  • Many wars had come since the mandalorian invasion , the sith and the empire always another faction lead by some man who thought he would rule the entire universe and every time these tyrants rose to try and destroy the galaxy ,The Zuaberlords would just pilot there fleets in the opposite direction and not bother with these affairs of the galaxy. Eventually they began to study the great Architects of the universe and had decided, what ever happen in those wars it was a fate meant to happen from a few hundred years of bad blood in the galaxy, these wars were the universes plan too purge and clean these problems of the light and dark and restore the balance of the universe.
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
[member="Salvador Grim"]

I'll be plain – your species is severely overpowered. In order to get this approved, you'll have to tone it down and balance it extensively.


Since it's your brainchild and needs serious pruning, I'm going to let you have the first hack at it yourself. Go over it again, pool your strengths and weaknesses into two lists (all of them, not just the scant few you have listed under the actual sections). Shave off a good chunk of the strengths. Add some weaknesses – actual, impactful ones, not the fluff you have now.

The aim here is to end up with a balanced species that can be fun for people to play with and against. You're not going to be able to pass superpowered demigods. A good rule of thumb would be to ask yourself "How angry would I get if I had to fight this species with a human character?"

Once you've made the edits and are satisfied with what you've changed to achieve greater balance, @mention me, and we'll see where to go from there.
 
[member="Netherworld"] sorry about that wasn't done the first edit, but i was about to fall asleep so hit post so i wouldn't accidentally loose it i will balance it out
 
[member="Netherworld"] i attempted to clean it up and Nerf it a bit to make it a little less OP and more balanced. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions i hit a wall i went as far as i could by myself with out actually changing the idea behind the Zauberlord race any more then i had too.
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
[member="Salvador Grim"]

Could you please describe exactly what changes you've made to balance this? Apart from the allery to kyber crystals I see no significant modifications.
 
The sun blinding them with out special glasses , only being able to breath one kind of air with out Assistance devices , There race is rare there is only 500 in the universe, most planets are not cold so not suitable for them to expand. there tech level is basic. I made more than a few correction and cleaned up the style it was wrote in, as it stands aside from the Telepathic nature of this race they are weaker than Zabraks. I also noted they barely use there gifts for any purpose other than communication, so even the telepathic nature is not that much of a advantage. As i said i am open to your suggestions cause i can not think of another way to weaken this race. I nerfed a lot of stuff. [member="Netherworld"] it would help a lot if you could tell me exactly what you think should be corrected it would be much easier , if it is the strength of a gorilla and speed of a cheetah i dont mind deleting that , force speed would compensate for the speed factor.
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
[member="Salvador Grim"]

Alrighty then, let's dig in.


First, the smaller issues.


You need to link the website where you found the image. Better yet, link the author directly.

Salvador Grim said:
They are Nomadic monks, traveling the universe peacefully and enjoying the stars as they read a nice book and relax.
Salvador Grim said:
The Zauberlord are carnivorous as a species they enjoy the hunt and struggle of the chase and tearing apart the enemy once the catch up to them.
  • These two things are very conflicting. You seem to imply they are peaceful and try to avoid conflict with other species.
    Yet on the other hand, they are obligatory carnivores, enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and consuming their prey in gruesome ways.
  • Given their high dietary requirements, they'd hunt big game, not small animals. Does this include sentient species as well? Regardless of that, how would they keep off radar with such high-profile feeding habits?
You mention 'the Architects of the Universe' several times in the submission, but it's not something that exists in SW canon as far as I'm aware. Could you clarify what you mean here and link any Canon sources you have on the topic?


Now onto the meat of the submission.


Your strengths:
  1. Potentially able to bring people back from the dead via the Force
  2. Very gifted in Force healing
  3. Strong telepathy via natural Force-sensitivity + ability to read minds
  4. Three times as fast as the average human
  5. Six times as strong as the average human
  6. Male members of the species have tiger-like retractable claws
  7. Exceptional hearing
  8. Perfect darkvision
  9. Ability to see into the infrared spectrum
  10. Natural immunity to poisons and toxins
  11. Ability to breathe underwater
  12. The whole species is Force-sensitive, with the 'average' midi-chlorian count thereabouts or higher than the highest recorded, ever. [The highest known midi-chlorian count—over 20,000 per cell—belonged to the Jedi Anakin Skywalker, who was believed to have been conceived by the midi-chlorians.]
  13. Potentially able to see into the 'matrix' of the Force, ability to see Force auras around all living beings.
  14. Potentially 'chosen by the Architects of the Universe' to be gifted by the purest form of the Force that ever was
Your weaknesses:
  1. They don't like bright lights – but can and do use eye protection to avoid headaches.
  2. They have to eat a lot because of a faster metabolism – this won't ever come up in RP.
  3. 'Allergic' to kyber crystals, can get burned by them – not all lightsabers use kyber crystals. Additionally, gloves.
  4. They don't understand morality or empathy because they are a nomadic species
  5. They thrive in cold climates, dislike warmth – no mention if it actually hurts them
  6. They breathe a mix of oxygen and liquid nitrogen, and need respirators on planets with the wrong mix of atmospheric gasses – nitrogen is a liquid at temperatures around -200 °C (-328 F). No planet that supports life is that cold. Not Hoth, not Helska, not anything.
    Such temperatures can only be achieved a.) in space or b.) artificially, in cryogenic chambers and the such.
    Additionally, it's liquid. Even if there was a planet that cold, the air wouldn't be breathable.
    You'll have to change this to something else, as it is not feasible in its current form.

Just by quantity alone, this species has twice as many strengths as it has weaknesses. On top of that, all the Strengths are powerful to very powerful, whereas the Weaknesses are largely 'fluff' – that is, inconsequential or easily circumvented. You yourself mention a few bypasses for these issues in the submission itself, and others are easily derived.
  • Remove and tone down about half your Strengths. Your species may not be gods, and they may not be 'averagely' as powerful as the most gifted Force user ever recorded.
    Pick the abilities you think are the most important characteristics of your species and keep them. Nix the rest.
  • Beef up the Weaknesses section. I want to see some real, actual, exploitable Weaknesses in there, not just things that can be handwaved or easily avoided by slapping two pieces of tech on a character.

If you have any questions or you need something cleared up, just @mention me and ask away.
 
Netherworld said:
'the Architects of the Universe'
i meant absolutely nothing by that it is there like there "God" they think some thing must have put the force and planets in motion and they call it the Architects of the Universe it is just the races beliefs nothing canon. Towards sentient species like other races they monk like and humble they are peaceful and try to avoid conflict with other species. as for them being carnivores, enjoying the thrill of the hunt, and consuming their prey in gruesome ways , that is like me or you hunting a deer or eating a cow nobody cares so is no reason to stay off any radar. There feeding habits are restricted entirely to animals.
i had no intention to make them gods , i enjoy good rp that's why i asked for suggestions to bring my creation to life.
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
Salvador Grim said:
i had no intention to make them gods and that's why i said they only thrive in space because that's the only place that would be cold enough. Anyway i will correct all those concerns
While space works from the perspective of 'cold enough', there is no air there. They couldn't exactly thrive when there's nothing to breathe – could you please explain how this works?
 
Netherworld said:
While space works from the perspective of 'cold enough', there is no air there. They couldn't exactly thrive when there's nothing to breathe – could you please explain how this works?
i perfectly agree after re-reading i noticed more than one mistake and character flaw and understand why this race was OP and i am clearing it up now. when i first came up with that idea i thinking of using there ability to breath underwater to compensate in space because the Russians use a moisture collector in space extracting bits of water from space but i was like that's to complicated so i am re-writing some stuff and going to find some legit weakness and balance this out thank you for your patience it would have been real easy for you to say Op nope try again and cancel this submission thanks for giving me a chance to fix it.[member="Netherworld"]
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
[member="Salvador Grim"]

No problem, we're here to help.

If you think your edits might take a while, I can move this to Pre-Codex for the time being. It will give you the time to edit at your own pace.
 
[member="Netherworld"] think we got it finished sorry for the wait i Nerfed it ,tossed some weakness in that will actually affect him and not just fluff , changed the profile a bit and i think i got the right picture credit down. unless i am wrong i think were good to go xd
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
[member="Salvador Grim"]



Salvador Grim said:
Image Credit: Pinimg -Count Dracula Vampire Art.
  • You'll have to link the website where you found the image, not the image itself. If possible, link to the author of the image directly.


Salvador Grim said:
A blade of pure Nykkalt, was the sign ofZauberlords they liked them because they were shiny and rare.
  • Nykkalt is a Restricted Material only found in one place. If you want to use any such weapon in RP, you're going to have to submit it through the Factory with the appropriate RM missions.


Salvador Grim said:
Due to the special nature there lungs it allows them to breath in Aquatic places.

Salvador Grim said:
Water:The Zauberlord cannot survive in water in large bodies of water. Though they can stand to be in water for short moments at a time, any more than that and they will drown. Due to their thick muscle fibers,Zauberlord are completely unable to swim.
  • These two directly conflict. Why would they develop the ability to breathe in water if they can't swim? Please adjust one or the other.


Salvador Grim said:
Because of there deep connection to the force a Master Zauberlord could potentially use force heal and heal any injury to a person aside from death.{not including restoration of limbs that is impossible} That required force resurrection and even if a Master Zauberlord could do it the amount of force drain would probably kill them as the only time force resurrection was ever done the person doing it died ,so a Zauberlord would never attempt such a foolish thing Even if it was possible. Self preservation is very important.
  • It's acceptable for a species to be naturally gifted in Force Healing. Saying they are all capable of anything short of reviving people is not.
  • Please rephrase this Strength to reflect the above.


Salvador Grim said:
The Zauberlord thrive on cold worlds and prefer them over other places most would find unbearable do to there genetic make up the cold does not bother them,They love the cold weather.
  • This should be listed under Strengths. I would also like to know how they deal with extreme heat on the opposite side of the spectrum – preferably include that as another Weakness.

The submission is already looking much better. Make these adjustments and we'll see where we stand, but we're definitely moving towards approval. :)
 
[member="Netherworld"]



Nykkalt is a Restricted Material only found in one place. If you want to use any such weapon in RP, you're going to have to submit it through the Factory with the appropriate RM missions.
Xd i know this i was the one who suggested they restricted it, lols it was my idea. i was NOT planning on using it in any rp it is just flavor to the story not a actual item that my character owns at this point in time unless i wish to submit a tec review and create a actual canon blade out of pure Nykkalt and i am already submitting a RP story for the Nykkalt for my star ship so yeah just flavor for the story nothing more.
Due to the special nature there lungs it allows them to breath in Aquatic places.
totally forgot to delete that my bad

Because of there deep connection to the force, a Master Zauberlord could potentially use force heal and heal any injury to a person aside from death.{not including restoration of limbs that is impossible} That required force resurrection and even if a Master Zauberlord could do it the amount of force drain would probably kill them as the only time force resurrection was ever done the person doing it died ,so a Zauberlord would never attempt such a foolish thing Even if it was possible. Self preservation is very important.
they can force heal sickness and wounds not raise the dead or restore limbs as i described
a Master Zauberlord could >>>potentially<<< use force heal and heal any injury to a person aside from death.{not including restoration of limbs that is impossible}
>>>potentially<<< is this key word they cant fix every problem just alot of them. will clear that up
It's acceptable for a species to be naturally gifted in Force Healing. Saying they are all capable of anything short of reviving people is not.


The Zauberlord thrive on cold worlds and prefer them over other places most would find unbearable do to there genetic make up the cold does not bother them,They love the cold weather.<going to delete this dont want another weakness

This should be listed under Strengths. I would also like to know how they deal with extreme heat on the opposite side of the spectrum – preferably include that as another Weakness.

The submission is already looking much better. Make these adjustments and we'll see where we stand, but we're definitely moving towards approval. :)
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
[member="Salvador Grim"]



Salvador Grim said:
Image Credit: Deviantart-Naznemati
  • Your link still points to Pinterest. Please link the deviantArt page of the artist.


Salvador Grim said:
It is said a sword of pure Quadranium, that shinned like platinum and was strong enough to duel against a light saber

Salvador Grim said:
they prefer strongly made swords from some of the galaxies best materials like Trimantiumor Tunqstoid more than strong enough to deal with any light saber.
  • None of those metals are lightsaber-resistant. Please change the wording that implies this.

Looks alright elsewise. Make the requested edits, and this should be good to go. :)
 
The Essential Atlas states that first Death Star had a skin of "quadranium" steel, however it is known that the skin is composed of quadanium steel. "The main superstructure has been reinforced, and trimantium plating lines the hull to provide the ship with unsually high tensile strength." C-D20 describes the HT-2200 medium freighter, both of those metals were used in building Star ships and one of them was directly related to the death star not trying to argue the point but wouldn't it logically be assumed threw canon lore that such a strong metal could handle doing combat with a light saber. I do mind the edit i am just saying logically threw canon i think its possible. yes i will try to fix that link [member="Netherworld"] Links fixed and aside from my objections i will fix your concerns
 

Netherworld

Well-Known Member
[member="Salvador Grim"]

Whether or not that's "possible through canon" will be, ultimately, a concern for the Factory – should you decide to submit their weapons, of course.

Neither Triumantium nor Tunqstoid are described as lightsaber-resistant, so please remove the portions of your submission that imply such.

The Image credit is now fine, so you just need to do the above, and I can stamp this.
 
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