Private Your Future Lies in Darkness

[Rafeesh]

The Zabrak, shivering in the flowing water whispered to himself, "'Through Passion, I gain Strength,' I must leverage my emotions to the Dark Side." Well, I am definitely hurting here, blast it is cold...

Rafeesh nodded his agreement with Argentum's final words. I don't have years, I need to learn now, and this is my opportunity. Thinking on the painful aspects of his training thus far, he thought, perhaps presumptuously, I do not need coddling, I am capable of handling whatever is given to me by this Sith. I survived his last attempt; I can survive whatever he has planned here.

Clenching his jaw, the mostly submerged being willed his shuddering to cease. This man may be more powerful than him, but that did not mean Rafeesh couldn't put forward a strong front. He spoke, his voice's slight strain the only betrayer to his inconvenience, "I am ready to learn! How do I make the Force do my will?"

Darth Argentum

 

[Darth Argentum]

"Focus," the Muun said "Remember just a few days ago."

"You were on the verge of suffocation, of being crushed. Think of you how reached out for the Force to save yourself. Think of all those times in your life you somehow came out alive when you should've died."

His eyes glowed as he leaned forward, gesturing fiercely.

"Your emotions flowed unrestrained because you were in mortal danger. But in the mundane world, you held it all in check by instinct. It's because you fear that unknown, you fear the power."

"Cast off those foolish notions of 'right' and 'wrong'. Feed your fear into the fire inside you. It's there inside you, the Force. Listen to it, then feed your passions into it. Do it because you want to survive. If you don't, I will hold you in those freezing cold waters until your hearts stop."

That was the way of it. Rafeesh now knew what he must do and thus it was up to him. Argentum didn't wish for the Zabrak to die, as such, but he wouldn't tolerate weakness. No more than his own Master had in him.

His own baptism had been in fire, or something close. So he thought it appropriate for his own student to do so in water. He reflected back upon those years ago. Gasping for air, feeling death looming. There was no other way than to be strong.

 

[Rafeesh]

As the Muun spoke, Rafeesh allowed his mind to return to those events in his life that had been suppressed by the years of toil. Flashes of near-death experiences came forward as he stood there in the water, memories of before. There was a twinge in some of these thoughts, a sense of deeper meanings or powers at play, yet there also lay a deep sense of immaterialness in older memories. This sense was flushed as he recalled a point from only a year or so ago.

At a previous dockyard he had nearly met his end when the lifter droid broke down, the thing went on a rampage knocking over containers and upending permacrete barriers. It had happened so quickly, a solid durasteel bar shoved through the grav coils on a grav sled had sent its contents of several gigagrams worth of crates toppling into a group of workers in the unloading area, including Rafeesh. The drum, hurtling at breakneck pace towards Rafeesh had seemed to slow to a stall, before imperceptively altering its trajectory. Rather than his head, the case had shattered on a support strut only inches from him. The post-incident review board decided the machine had gone too long without a memory wipe, but there had been whispers of corporate espionage when the company went under and a competitor took over the yard.

That event, and a few like it, had been a point where the Zabrak had found himself boggled by the circumstance. He had seen mental health specialists, but most of the time, he had simply pushed it away, not wanting to contemplate the possibilities that the incidents might have implied. But now, face to face with a potential answer, and with the greater mysteries it entailed, Rafeesh felt ever more uncertain. What is my part in this galaxy?

Perhaps, that was just the issue. Maybe there are no parts. Maybe we are all just here, and we must forge our own paths. Which means that nothing truly matters. That thought depressed him, and he felt like he might just submit to the cold and allow himself to perish then. What was the point in fighting a battle without a true end? But something awoke in that frigid mind. I don't want to die. It doesn't matter if there is a purpose to this all. I don't want to die!

The tall being was surprised when he snapped back to some semblance of awareness to his surrounding, he no longer felt his extremities, and he was certain the water had risen slightly as it lapped at his chin. The pain reawoke in his legs and side, a torment of wounds not fully healed. It felt, paradoxically, like his skin was on fire and it stirred within his dull senses fear. Fear of failing when power was within reach, fear of such ridiculous death as this Muun had decided for him, fear that he might never truly understand what this power was within him. His eyelids flashed open, and he locked onto his unperturbed antagonist.

He seemed calm, almost detached from what was happening before him in the pool of water. Rafeesh could feel rage and fear mingling in him at this being's unpitying stare. You would play god as if I were some sort of plaything. I would show you how wrong you are... if only I were stronger.

That thought catalyzed his emotions, fueling himself, he pushed the vehemence and terror into the fire within, a dark fire greedily absorbing the provocation. At first, it was a small thing; the trembling in him ceased. There was a surety in him now, though his body remained numb, it obeyed his commands as readily as ever. His scars burned no more; only a dull ache remained of them. Pushing himself to his full height, once more his head free of the cool water, Rafeesh screamed, "I WILL NOT DIE HERE! I REFUSE TO DIE HERE!"

With his mind spoken, he pushed confidently from the water, stepping back towards the land. So engrossed was he in his anger and ambition, the Zabrak failed to notice the single wisp of steam that billowed for a moment from him.

Darth Argentum

 

[Darth Argentum]

For a time it seemed as if Rafeesh was fading. As if he might die there and Argentum began to feel disgust. There were too many beings in the galaxy that would simply give up. Power, ambition and even life itself meant nothing to them.

What was life if you chose to simply run it's course. To allow external pressures to push you along was weakness. And weakness was death. So many walking corpses in the multitudes of worlds, their lives meaningless.

Only the strong truly lived, imposing their will upon the galaxy. Rafeesh didn't seem to be such a one. This was in spite of his innate connection to the Force. Argentum made to get up, to leave the Zabrak here to his fate.

Then he felt the heat, the burning fires of the Dark Side began to grow from the red-skinned male. His thin lips twitched into a smile and he felt the Force pulsing in echo within himself. The Muun sat back down and he watched intently. It seemed that he was wrong.

The powerfully-built Zabrak waded out of the water, bellowing a challenge to Death itself. Darth Argentum laughed, pleased to feel the Force so strongly before him. His student burned so strongly that the cold water evaporated from his skin.

"Excellent, Rafeesh," he said approvingly "To embrace the Dark Side is to embrace everything in life itself. We don't push away the pain. Instead, we draw from it and it increases our power. We accept consequence and are never afraid to impose our wills upon the universe."

"Join me, together we will meditate upon these things."

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh felt power far beyond anything he had considered possible before. He knew now where it came from now, and this knowledge granted the Zabrak some measure of confidence. The Force, the Dark Side, it was intoxicating. It took a moment for him to calm enough to pay attention to the Muun.

As the fear subsided, Rafeesh found himself able to again feel the cool from what water reamnined on him, and though his body was no longer numb, he did shiver occasionally. "There is such strength from these emotions. Is this what you meant by Passion leads to Strength? How come the galaxy is not filled with people who draw on these powers?"

Asking these queries, the sturdy near-human walked the few steps to Argentum. Crossing his stiff legs, he After his near-death experience, his senses seemed to be all the more aware of his surroundings. Perhaps it was some echo of the Force resinating within him, but he felt that he could sense the conflict going on all around him. It was if he could feel every plant and animal fighting desperately to survive in a never ending conflict.

Darth Argentum

 

[Darth Argentum]

"That is only the beginning," Argentum replied "Just a glimpse of what lies before you."

He laughed and shook his head.

"Why do others not draw upon it?," repeated the Muun "They fear the power. The crave safety in a life of willful ignorance. Within the herd of mediocrity most of them stay, terrified of what it means to be truly free."

"A Sith desires all of those things and so they are the outlier."

Argentum met Rafeesh in the eyes, tilting his head and smiling in that knowing way of his.

"There will come a time when you will recoil too. Then you must decide if you want to travel into the dark unknown depths. But first, you must reach such a point."

 

[Rafeesh]

I will be pushed to the brink? ..to darkness as yet untold? How will I respond? The Zabrak found the grass warm and pleasant compared to the waters. The sun helped in this; its warmth countering the breeze and aiding Rafeesh in the process of returning to a healthy core temperature.

Yet the near-human, sitting in a cross-legged pose, did not feel comforted. Indeed, now that he contemplated what had just transpired, Rafeesh had a burning question. "Where does the knowledge come in? You have put me on the first steps of power and strength; such says the Code anyway. But you told me I would know more than science or philosophy, when does that begin?"

Though he did not directly respond to it, his mind yet dwelled on the ominous note behind the Muun's smile. At what point I will reconsider? This power, this potential, if I should recoil... Surely it would be wasted. The Zabrak was confident that Argentum knew more, that the path ahead was well paved by experience, maybe even considerably planned. Though filled with dread threats and perilous roads, he was certain of his own ability, perhaps even overestimating of himself.

Darth Argentum

 

[Darth Argentum]

"It has already begun," Argentum told him "Even if you are not aware."

"The vast expanse of everything that is, was or will be lays open before you. When you search through it, and you will, it will be a yawning abyss. It is a perilous road which may swallow you whole, even in spite of my teachings."

There was nothing warm or comforting about his smile nor his words.

"But don't let the fear stop you. Instead, draw power from that rawest terror. Know that's it's better to die a thousand times on the road to power than to live the meaningless life that you have until this time."

"Now Rafeesh, it is time that we reflect on that darkness. Time to stare into the abyss, to reach out towards it."

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply and drawing from the Force all around. The Muun felt the life all around him. From the fish, to the birds and insects and the shaak roaming about. There was life and there was also death too, always inseperable.

Argentum could sense his student most of all, pulsing with raw potential. There was a hint of the darkness about Rafeesh but he didn't fully belong to the Dark Side. In time, though, he would blaze with the black fire....